Everything.

Warning: cliché fic. The bunny came from listening to "Without You I'm Nothing" by Placebo.
Lex had been in love with Clark Kent since day one. They'd been best friends, and Lex had yearned uselessly over him, but all Lex really managed to accomplish in that time period was to raise pining to an art form. He hadn't learned what it was like to have his heart broken.

Now it was Clark's second semester of college, and Lex was wishing that he'd had a little more practice with that particular problem. It might make this easier.

Though it was his own fault, really. He'd given Clark an extra ticket to the gallery opening, and had told him to bring a date. He should have known that Clark would do exactly that, even though Clark had been relatively single for the past couple of months. Lex had been looking forward to spending the evening with Clark, who always kept these sort of things from being dull, but now he was forced to stand on the other side of the room and steal glances at Clark from the corner of his eye while the object of his affections stood with his arm around his date and chatted easily with the assistant mayor.

She was a gorgeous woman- short and curvy, with dark hair that fell in artful wisps around her face, wearing a sharp suit instead of a dress like most of the women present. She stood out in a crowd of bored socialites, and with good reason- the sharp-eyed woman on Clark's arm was Lois Lane, the rising star of the Met U Gazette, and Clark's frequent partner in crime. Lois, as far as Lex could tell, got Clark into more trouble than Chloe ever had.

He hadn't realized that they were involved, however. Lately Clark had been playing with men more than women, and Clark had never said anything to hint that he was dating Lois. It was a blow, and meant that Clark obviously didn't take their friendship as seriously as he once had. There was no way that Lois and Clark were just sleeping together, which meant that they were serious, and Clark had always before told Lex the moment he'd gotten serious about someone, and he hadn't this time.

Maybe Clark didn't take their friendship as seriously as Lex did, anymore. Then again, Clark had never really taken their friendship as seriously as Lex did. No one could. Lex had been obsessed with Clark since the very beginning, before he even realized that he was in love with him, and Clark never knew that. He'd taken pains to hide it from Clark, because to Clark he was just a best friend, and he would never do anything to jeopardize that. Clark meant too much to him, in too many ways, and he wasn't going to risk what he had in favor of what he might have.

He shot another look over at the happy couple. Were they really together, or was this just a friendly date? His curiosity- and, okay, jealousy- was eating holes in him. Clark was going to be spending the night at the penthouse tonight- he'd promised Lex that much and Clark never broke his promise, not even for a date, not even for Lois- and Lex would be able to ask him then.

Except it really wasn't any of his business who Clark was dating. He had no claim on Clark's affections, and they weren't his anyway. He wasn't going to ask, because it wasn't his business and jealousy was not a good enough excuse.

Still, he couldn't resist staring at the two of them, and he knew that his longing was all too visible in his eyes.

Lois grinned and nudged Clark in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey Smallville, Luthor's staring at you again. Does he do that all the time? Is he always this intense? Doesn't that get creepy?"

"Yes, no, and no," he answered, glancing around the room and being careful not to catch Lex's gaze. If he looked in Lex's direction then Lex would stop staring jealously at him and Lois, and then all of his hard work would have been for nothing. "Drop the act, Lois; you know what's going on."

"I know, I'm just surprised it's working," she said. "I mean, damn, kid. I know you two always had that sort of vibe, but you know that I was just going along with this to humor you. I didn't think you were actually on to something."

"I know, the laughing hysterically until you couldn't breathe sort of gave it away," Clark said, deadpan. "Next time, try to remember that I do, occasionally, remember what I'm talking about."

Lois' snort defied his statement, but, "Well, I'll concede that you know Lex, anyway," she said. "How long have you two been friends, anyway?"

"Almost five years," he said. "Sometimes it feels like longer." He smiled to himself- he'd never in a million years find another best friend like Lex, and he never wanted to try. "Didn't we cover this when I was laying out the plan?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't listening," she said. "I heard, 'I want to make Lex jealous' and tuned the rest out. Tell me again."

"We met, I saved his life, we became friends, somehow it lasted," he summarized. "You know, you could eventually start to take me seriously."

"I doubt it," she said dismissively. "So, does he know? About the… stuff?"

"Gee, and you like to make fun of my vocabulary," he groused. "Why did I tell you again?"

"You didn't," she said comfortably. "I caught you saving my cousin's life and decided maybe there was something to this whole keeping secrets thing after all. And you didn't answer my question."

"I was getting to it," he said irritably. "We don't talk about it. He stopped asking after a while." After they'd both had hellish summers away from home, and Lex wasn't quite the same anymore, but then again neither was Clark. There'd always been an uncomfortable lack of the willful Smallville blindness that had always worked in Clark's favor, but after that summer Lex stopped asking questions that he knew Clark wouldn't answer. Things had been better because of it. Clark honestly wasn't sure if they'd still be on speaking terms otherwise. "I'm pretty sure he knows most of it, though."

"Okay, E.T.," she said. "And you just trust him. Just like that."

"Not just like that," he said. "He's given me all the reason in the world to trust him, starting with the fact that he's standing over there staring at me instead of having me strapped to a lab table."

"Why is he staring at you, anyway?" she asked curiously. "Not that you're not pretty and all, if you like the type- which I don't- but you're not really anything that someone like Luthor couldn't get anywhere. I know you're best friends or whatever, but there's no way that you're going to make me believe that he's secretly in love with you."

"He's not," Clark said. "Or if he is, I don't know about it." He wished for it, sometimes, but if Lex ever looked at him like that- and Clark always watched Lex pretty damned closely- he made sure to hide it from Clark.

"So?" she asked impatiently. "You seem to know all there is to know about him. What is it about you? I mean, I love you and stuff, but Luthor's obviously obsessed with you."

"I'm a symbol to him," Clark said, pretending that the fact didn't bother him. "I'm some icon of goodness to him, something to aspire to every time he makes a choice." He was pretty sure that his bitterness over the issue had leaked through in the last bit, though. Nobody likes being put on a pedestal, and Clark hated it more than most, because he knew just how unfit he was to be there.

"Ouch," she said sympathetically, by which he was able to tell that he had, in fact, sounded bitter. "That would explain why he never makes a move, at least."

"I've tried to show him," Clark said. "That I'm not that guy. That I'm not this innocent kid anymore."

"Which explains the insane number of one-night stands," Lois said.

"But he doesn't seem to get it."

"Which explains tonight's newest plot twist," she said. "Using me to make him jealous so he'll make a goddamn move. It's neat and kinda evil and I like it. I've only got one question."

"And what's that?" he asked.

"Why the hell couldn't you rope Chloe into playing this part?"

"One, she's in Gotham and it's a bit of a trip," Clark said patiently. He'd been over this with her before as well, but it was probably lumped in with the rest of the stuff she'd tuned out. "Two, he'd never believe that Chloe and I were a couple."

"Because it's so easy to believe that we could be?" Her ladylike snort was eloquent of her disbelief. "Oh, c'mon, Smallville, pull the other one."

He grinned at her, pleased with himself and showing it. "No, see, that's the best part. He kinda doesn't like you, so I don't talk about you much. He has no clue what our relationship's like, and I know it's driving him nuts thinking that I didn't tell him before. He's going to feel kinda betrayed, and probably pissed at me, enough to say something about it, possibly even show that he's jealous. And guess who's spending the night at the penthouse tonight, giving him ample opportunity to express his displeasure in a private sort of setting?"

Lois regarded him with something almost like admiration. He couldn't be sure, since it was a very rarely-used expression on her face. "Damn, Smallville, that is evil. And pretty fucking brilliant. I approve. There's only one thing wrong, though."

He sighed. Should have known. "And that is?"

"He's still not going to make a move," she said, and jerked her head in Lex's direction. "Look at him. He's too wrapped up in his own weird headspace to actually do anything so bold as to make a move. Face it, he might say something, but you're going to be the one making a move tonight."

He grinned, knowing that it was a distinctly predatory smile and not caring. "Oh, I knew that," he said. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Do me one favor," she said after a moment of silence. "And then we'll be even for tonight."

"What favor?" he asked, wary. There was no way in hell he was promising Lois a blank check.

"Tell me all about it afterwards. A girl's got to have some vicarious thrills out of this thing."

He returned her somewhat evil smile. "Done."

Clark didn't ride back in the limo with Lex like he usually did after one of these events. Instead, he disappeared to the parking lot with Lois on his arm and an apologetic smile, and Lex rode home alone.

Clark showed up not that long afterwards, though, still dressed in his suit. The tie was loosened, the jacket was held loosely in one big hand, the top two buttons were undone and his sleeves were rolled up. There was a faint hint of stubble on his jaw, and his grin was just a little sleepy when Lex met him at the door.

He looked, even more than usual, like a total wet dream.

"Hey," he said, his voice a low rumble. "I see you got home in one piece."

Lex stepped back and let him in, like he always did. "You too," Lex said. "Get Lois home all right?"

Clark leaned against the door and laughed a little, not meanly. "Oh, just ask, already. I know you're dying to."

"I didn't know that you and Lois were involved," Lex said neutrally. He could be neutral. He was fucking Switzerland.

"We're not," Clark said. "She's just my partner, and sometimes my friend. You gave me the extra ticket and she wanted to go, so we went out on a friendly date. Didn't mean anything."

"You looked close," Lex said. Fuck. He hadn't meant to let that slip.

Clark grinned at him. "Well, yeah," he said, his eyes twinkling a little. Bastard. "We're pretty comfortable around each other, you know?"

No. No, he didn't, and he didn't want to. "It looked like more than just a friendly date, Clark," he said, against his will. He didn't want to sound jealous, even when he was. It just wasn't done.

"Why do you ask?" Clark said, arching one eyebrow. Shit, sometimes Lex missed younger Clark, who never would have asked that question.

"No reason," he said. "Really." And could be more pathetically unconvincing? Probably.

"That's funny," Clark said, far too casual. "Because it sounds to me like you're jealous."

Oh, fuck. Lex could swear that his heart fucking stopped in that moment, with Clark's too-knowing smirk and the surprising gentleness in his eyes. No. There was no way that Clark could know. Lex had been so careful, so careful to make sure that Clark didn't-

"Yeah, I know," Clark said quietly. "Lex, I'm not blind. I thought that when I got here, you'd see that I'd grown up. I thought that when I started sleeping around some, you'd realize that I wasn't innocent. I thought that when I started fucking guys, you'd get it that I wasn't straight. I thought that maybe you'd finally make a move. But you just sit back and watch me, and do nothing. Am I such a pretty icon that you can't seem to realize that I'm a real person underneath what you see?"

Lex's mind reeled, but under all the revelations that Clark was making he heard the bitterness, the anger, and ultimately, the hurt. Did Clark really think that Lex didn't see him as a real person?

"That's why I did the whole date thing tonight with Lois," Clark continued before Lex could say anything. "I wanted to make you jealous, so that I could finally make you admit that you wanted me. If I gave you half a chance, you would have denied it, though. Even when only a fucking moron couldn't tell that I wanted you back."

Oh yeah. Heart attack, any second now.

"One thing you're not, though, Lex, is a moron," Clark said. "So I guess it comes down to this fucking pedestal you always put me on. Like I'm something you always want to look up to. Look But Don't Touch Clark, wind him up and away he goes."

There were actual tears shining in his eyes, and that was just fucking wrong. "Look, this was a bad idea. I should just… go." And he turned and put his hand on the door, like he was actually going to leave, and Lex didn't know why Clark thought those things but he knew that he couldn't let Clark walk away now because he might never get him back. And even if he did, he might never get this chance again.

Grow up, Lex, and take what you want.

Thanks, Dad. For once you've told me something useful.

He grabbed Clark's wrist and tugged, knowing that he could kill himself pulling and never so much as budge Clark if Clark didn't want to let go, but Clark let himself be pulled away and turned till he was facing Lex. Lex didn't let go of his wrist, and he did move closer into Clark's space, not sure if he was going to get this right and not willing to pass up what might be his last chance to be this close to Clark.

"I don't think of you like that," he said quietly, and tightened his grip when Clark made a wounded noise and tried to pull away. "I don't think of you as some icon, and I don't have you on a pedestal. I never thought of you as anything but a real person. You're the most real person I've ever met."

Clark went still, not exactly relaxing, but maybe a little bit calmer, at least. A little less ready to run.

"If that's true, then why didn't you ever do anything? You had to know that I want you."

Even in this situation, those words went right to his cock. Fuck, wrong timing, really wrong timing… Lex ignored it and focused on the beautiful, familiar face, tear-blurred green eyes waiting for his answer.

"I didn't know," he said, and fuck, if only he had. "I swear to you, Clark, I had no clue. Things would have been different if I had."

Different for years, if he's retrospectively reading the signs right. Clark had started to watch him after that hellish summer on the island, and Lex had chalked it up to Clark worrying about him and being grateful that Lex stopped asking questions, even though they both knew he already had the answers. But looking back on it, he realizes that Clark's gaze had been much warmer, teasing and assessing, and Lex had been too busy doing his own looking to fucking get it.

"I didn't know, and I didn't want to risk it," he said. "Our friendship meant to much to me, and…" He dropped his gaze, staring at some point in the middle of Clark's chest because he just can't look at him anymore. "You mean so much to me and I didn't want to lose that. You're everything to me, Clark, you're fucking everything, I'm nothing without you and I just didn't want to lose you-"

The last words were mumbled against Clark's neck because Clark had pulled him into a tight hug. Almost too tight, but Lex didn't care because it was Clark's arms around him after all this time and the only other time he'd felt this was when he'd come back from the dead. Clark's eyes lighting up from the inside to see him alive, and he felt Clark's lips pressed against the top of his head, heard Clark whispering something into his skin that he couldn't decipher.

"You couldn't lose me if you tried," Clark said, tilting his head down to murmur the words directly in Lex's ear. "You're my reason, Lex. You have to know that. You're the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I keep going when I wake up with nightmares in the middle of the night. I couldn't keep going without you. Everything would just… stop. No more Clark without Lex."

And that was just… Lex just had to pull away, meet those hopeful, heartbroken eyes, and kiss him. Because he'd never expected this. Never even dreamed that Clark could need him as much as he needed Clark. But he did, and right now he was kissing Lex like the world was going to end if they weren't touching.

"I love you," Lex whispered into his mouth, and Clark went crazy, his arms tightening around Lex's body, crushing him close like he was trying to meld them together, trying to make them one person, like he just couldn't get close enough. Lex let his hands wander, racing up and down Clark's back, clutching at those wonderfully heavy muscles under the thin silk of the dress shirt, standing on tiptoe so that he could fit more closely against Clark, fit against him everywhere.

Clark made a needy sound in the back of his throat and actually lifted Lex off the ground with just his hand cupped behind Lex's ass. Lex wasted no time in winding his legs around Clark's waist, canting his hips forward and rubbing their cocks together through their pants. Clark's mouth left his and wandered to his ear and then down his throat, and Lex's eyes rolled back into his head when Clark simultaneously scraped his teeth against the juncture of neck and shoulder and pressed Lex's hips forward in a heavy, slow grind.

"Fuck," Lex gasped out. "Fuck, Clark, fuck…"

"Getting there," Clark muttered against his throat, sucking up a dark mark that would be gone by morning. "Shit, I think I'm going blind. Where's the fucking bedroom?"

Lex freed one arm from his clinging grip around Clark's neck and wordlessly pointed down the hall to the appropriate door. His mouth was busy on the taught skin of Clark's throat and trying to get the buttons of Clark's shirt undone with his teeth.

There was slight breeze and when Lex looked up again they were in his bedroom. He blinked, realized that Clark was really blatantly using his powers, and decided to just deal with it later. He pulled on Clark's shirt with his free hand, trying to direct him away from the door, and Clark just kicked it shut and spilled Lex onto the huge bed.

Lex sprawled out on his back and stared up at Clark. Clark stared back, panting, a flush riding high on his cheekbones, his eyes narrowed with sleepy sexuality. Looking at him caused Lex to moan and buck up his hips, and Clark answered with a hissed intake of breath and a hand pressing hard against his cock. Fuck, he was gorgeous, still fully dressed with his palm cupping a more than generous bulge in his dress pants, soaked in sweat and nipples standing out through the shirt that was stuck to his skin.

"Christ," Lex said, because he couldn't think of anything right now besides- "Get naked."

Clark's hips jerked into his hand, and he moaned, low in his throat, before bringing both hands up to the top button of his shirt. Lex watched avidly, hands twitching at his sides, as Clark unbuttoned it, fast and sloppy and way more erotic than the slowest striptease. Lex felt his mouth go dry as the shirt was tossed aside and the expanse of sweat-gleamed taut golden skin was revealed.

Clark kicked off shoes and socks and stripped off his pants with as little finesse as he'd gotten rid of the shirt. Fuck, no underwear. Jesus, his cock, standing almost straight up against his stomach and the head already gleaming with pre-come.

Lex almost couldn't breathe. Clark, naked, and he'd only been dreaming of this for five years that felt like a fucking eternity of not knowing what Clark looked like. Something must have shown in his face, because Clark suddenly grinned, dark and knowing, and brought up his hand to his mouth. The index finger disappeared into the most pornographic mouth Lex had ever seen, and the sight of his cheeks hollowed out with suction caused Lex to moan and scrabble at the fly of his pants. Clark's eyes never left him as he brought his hand down, running that wet index finger around the head of his cock, teasing himself like he was teasing Lex, and Lex was-

-going fucking insane. He managed to get his pants open and wrapped his hand around his cock, moaning in mingled relief and arousal, and Clark's intent gaze darkened another notch. It was all the warning Lex got before Clark was on him, and his shirt and pants were being literally ripped away and the rags tossed somewhere that wasn't the bed. Clark didn't waste any more time teasing, just knocked Lex's hand away and replaced it with his own before behind his head and wrapping his lips around Lex's cock.

"Oh, fuck," Lex said, throwing his head back on an involuntary arch. "God. Clark. Just- Oh, god."

Clark's demon tongue, wrapping around his cock and twisting inhumanly fast, and the next thing Lex knew Clark was pressing down further, his hand disappearing as his nose pressed to Lex's belly and his cock went all the way into the back of Clark's throat. Clark moaned around him and swallowed, and Lex thrust shallowly, his vision going completely at the heat and wet and pressure around his cock and fuck he'd wanted this for so long-

"Shit, Clark, I'm gonna come," he choked out. Clark hummed happily and Lex moaned again, slamming his cock down Clark's throat in one more thrust before stilling. "Fuck, I'm gonna come and I want you in me when I do-"

Clark pulled off with a wet pop and stared at Lex with lust-dazed eyes. "Hands and knees," he said, his voice hoarse with arousal and from Lex's cock in his throat. "You're going to feel this in your teeth."

Lex moaned and obeyed with alacrity, rolling over and presenting his ass for Clark's approval. Clark stroked his hand down one cheek, far too slowly, and Lex shivered while Clark fumbled with the bedside drawer with the other.

Seconds later there was the sound of a tube being opened and then slippery fingers teasing at him. Clark didn't play around, just shoved two long fingers straight in, and Lex choked on his breath and thrust back.

Clark's fingers in him, opening him up, twisting and finding his prostate with unerring ease. Lex thought that it was possible that he actually screamed when Clark did something, vibrated his fingers or fucking something, and the next thing he knew the fingers were gone and Clark's cock was pressing in.

Clark was obviously trying to go easy, his torso folded over and his chest pressed to Lex's back, catching Lex's earlobe with his teeth as he pressed in ever so fucking slowly, but fuck it, Lex didn't want slow and easy. He shifted for better leverage and then just slammed his hips back, gasping when he felt Clark slide the rest of the way into him. Clark moaned, right into his ear, and Lex felt like he was dying.

"Fuck," Clark panted, pulling out a little and then slamming back in. "Fuck, Lex, I've wanted to do this for years. Push you up against a wall and just go down on my knees and suck you off. Tie you up and tease you, lick your ass until you begged me to come-"

Lex moaned and his dick twitched and he was so fucking hard he hurt. It was Clark inside him, Clark who was saying these things, Clark who he loved.

"-take you out in the cornfield, on your back in the dirt, suck you off under your desk at work, my hand on your cock on the dance floor in a club, everyone staring and knowing you're mine-"

His world was narrowing down to Clark's cock in his ass and Clark's words in his ear and Lex couldn't see, could barely breathe, could just feel and listen and be opened from the inside out.

"-you fucking me over your desk, in an alley, any where, you coming inside me, I don't care if everyone's watching-"

Lex moaned, was moaning continuously now, just wanted so much, needed to come and needed this to never stop, never ever stop because this was Clark fucking him and Clark-

"-fucking love you, Jesus, love you so much-"

-loved him and he came. Nothing touching his cock but air, just snapping his hips back into a particularly brutal thrust and losing it. He lost the ability to see and breathe as his orgasm wrung him dry, but heard Clark's bitten-off moan and felt Clark's coming inside him.

They collapsed onto the bed, unable to speak or even do anything but lie there and pant. After a minute or so Clark roused himself to pull out, running a soothing hand over Lex's belly when he hissed with pain, and then rolling him over and into Clark's arms.

Lex let his head rest on Clark's chest and tried not to think. It didn't work, however, and after a minute he mustered up enough energy to tilt his head up and look at Clark's face.

"Did you mean it?"

Clark didn't have to ask what he was talking about. "Yeah," he said quietly, running one hand endlessly up and down the curve of Lex's spine. "I love you. Have for years."

Breathless, Lex stretched up and kissed Clark. Clark kissed him back, big hands closing and relaxing in a strangely comforting kneading over his shoulders. They were both breathless when Lex pulled away, and Clark stared at him with dark, intense eyes.

"I know you noticed," he said, and this time it was Lex's turn to not have to ask. He just nodded, not breaking the eye contact, letting his eyes ask the question that he'd stopped giving voice to years ago.

"I'm an alien," Clark said, in answer, and Lex wanted to respond with something coherent, he really did, but… Wow.

"Wow," he said, and Clark laughed a little, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

"That all you've got to say?"

"Just about," Lex said. "Give me a minute. Words will return."

"Alright," Clark said amiably. He wiggled a little, settling himself more comfortably, and Lex's head rode the swell of his chest as he sighed contentedly.

Lex looked back up at Clark again. "You definitely meant it?"

"Yes," Clark said, very patient with an affectionate smile on his face. "I love you, Lex."

"Alright," Lex said, and lay back down. Clark's skin was smooth and smelled spicy. His heart beat comfortingly under his ear. And Clark loved him.

Alright.