Discoveries
Author's notes: Hello, I'm quite new in the fandom, and this is my very first HIMYM fic. It's slash, so you've been warned: I will not accept flames just beause you couldn't read the warning in the summary. I am still at a loss about how I conceived it, since I don't ship this pairing, but it seems that this plotline doesn''t want to let me go, for I'm already planning a sequel to this two-shots story.
I also have another warning, before letting you go on (at your own risk) and read the fic: I'm not english, and this fic was not betaed, so sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned this show and everything related to it; I would be very rich if I did, and I would have the chance of meeting NPH on a regular basis. Sadly, I don't, and I don't make any money out of this fanfic.
Part 1
The year 2030
Two very annoyed kids glared at their father.
"Dad", the boy said, rolling his eyes, "Seriously. Is this story ever going to end?"
"Yes", the girl intervened, huffing heavily, "This is getting way too long, and we would like to, I don't know, maybe live a life before we become old listening to it. Besides, wasn't this the story of how you met mom? Apart from the little fact that hearing about Barney and Aunt Robin doing stuff together was rather gross, and by the way I'm never going to look them in the eyes again, when are you getting to the 'how I met your mother' part?"
"Relax, kids, I'm almost getting to it. Now, where was I? Ah yes, it was December of 2009. Barney and Robin were still the best of friends after their break-up, and he seemed to have forgotten all about being in love with her. He had gone back to his old self, chasing out girl after girl and being generally the carefree member of the group. Robin too still had her fair share of admirers and dubious boyfriends, and was pursuing her career more fiercely than ever.
Marshall and Lily, or Marshily, as I liked to call them in those days (you have to believe kids, that they were practically the same person; it was almost disgusting at times), continued to hold the crown as 'cutest couple ever'.
As for me, I was still single, still looking for the one, the love of my life... All in all, things were as smooth as they could be. That's why what happened that day came as a lightning strike, changing all of our lives forever…"
The year 2009
Ted entered McLaren's with a huge smile on his face. He was so sure he had finally managed it; he had finally met his future wife… He took a seat in the booth next to Barney, who barely lifted the corner of his mouth in greeting. There was certainly something wrong with his friend, but Ted had known him for so long that he knew a direct question on what was bothering the blond man would have led him nowhere. So, he turned to Marshall and Lily, who were excitedly whispering to each other.
"Hey!" He happily greeted the couple. "You wouldn't believe what happened just now!"
Barney made a face.
"Oh, let me guess, bro", he casually said, sipping his scotch, "you just met the most awesome girl, who loves kids and marriage and just so happened to laugh at your joke about shellfish, which by the way is laaame. What is this sound?" He twisted and turned to discover the origin of the noise he was supposedly hearing. "Seriously, guys; can't you hear it? Where does it come from?" He then smacked his forehead in understanding. "Oh, right. How could I not recognize the sound of wedding bells that surrounds you whenever you meet a girl?" He grinned at Marshall and Lily and held out a fist, shouting: "Waddup?"
The couple erupted in laughter, taking turns in hitting the proffered fist.
Ted rolled his eyes. "C'mon, guys, you know I'm not like that", he raised a warning hand at Marshall's snort, "and anyway I haven't had the time to tell her that joke yet. But she is awesome and I'm seeing her tonight!"
"Oh, Ted, that's wonderful!" Lily said, trying to sound genuinely interested. Truth was she had seen Ted falling in and out of love so fast that she knew this new girl was just like any other. "What's her name?"
After a few seconds of silence, Ted ducked his head, refusing to meet the others' eyes.
"Ted?" Marshall urged.
"I haven't asked her…I don't believe this; I'm going to date a girl tonight and I don't even know her name!"
"Dude, relax!" Barney said, "You don't need to know a girl's name to date her. Seriously, Mosby, have I taught you nothing?"
Ted rolled his eyes. "I try not to listen to you when you talk, Barney. And anyway, yes, you do need to know a girl's name when you date her. How do you call her, otherwise?"
Barney set down his glass. "I'm glad you pointed this out, Ted. You see, I wrote a piece on my blog about this argument just the other day, but I'm sure you, my disciples, have already read that." He expectantly looked at his friends, but all he received back were blank stares. "C'mon, guys… You are ignoring the only authentic source of knowledge, the very light of truth which I, in my awesomeness, decided to share with you! How can you not read my blog?"
His friends' stares remained blank. But Barney was not someone who could be easily put down, so he went on.
"Anyway, as I was saying…"
Providentially for anyone, Robin chose that exact moment to enter the bar.
She had a grave expression on her face, and she sat at the head of the table without a greeting.
Lily turned towards her. "Robin? What's up?"
She looked at everyone in the eyes.
"You know that I applied for that reporting job for Channel 8 News, right?"
Everybody nodded.
"Well, they were enthusiastic about my CV, and they auditioned me today. I got the job."
Her friends erupted in delighted cheers, but, before anyone could congratulate her, she raised a hand.
"They want me to be their correspondent. In London. I have to leave in five days."
There was a chorus of 'No way's', 'you can't do it!' and 'there isn't enough time', which lasted for a couple of minutes, while everybody hugged her.
"I'm sorry guys. I don't want to leave; New York is my home; everything I care for is here…But it's a unique opportunity for me, I couldn't say no."
The five friends sat in silence, while each of them tried to take in the bad news. But it seemed that the bad news had not finished that day.
Barney was the first to speak.
"Guys, I have something to say as well, though for some of us it doesn't come as a surprise."
Marshall looked at him. "You've decided, then?" he asked.
Barney only nodded.
"My boss wants to open a new branch in Korea, and he wants me to go there to arrange the whole thing. I'm expected to leave next week."
Lily turned to Marshall, looking at him with big eyes.
"You knew it? For how long?" she asked.
Her husband nodded and mouthed 'five months', retreating a bit.
"And you didn't tell me?" She received another nod, while Marshall raised his arms in defence.
"Please, don't hit me, Lilypad!" he pleaded. "He tricked me into not telling anyone!"
Meanwhile, Ted was stunned. He kept watching Robin and Barney in silence.
He couldn't believe what was happening… It had been hard, learning that Robin was leaving, maybe forever. And now Barney was leaving too. It seemed his whole world, the world he loved and cherished, was tumbling down. Then, a thought popped into his mind, and he raised an eyebrow.
"How long are you going to stay there?" he asked Barney. The blond-haired man had not said it, and knowing him as he did, Ted imagined this was just a bluff that Barney played to get attention on himself.
"I don't know, Ted." Barney said. "It could take from six months to a year. My boss wants me to be the director of the Korean branch, so it is likely I won't come back for a very long while." He sipped his drink while a smirk formed on his face. "On the bright side, though, I'va never nailed a Korean girl before… Beware, Korean girls, daddy is coming home! C'mon, guys: Korean sex high-five!"
"Barney, this is not funny!" Ted reprimanded, raising his voice. "You and Robin are leaving! It's not funny at all." He stood up and shouted. "Is there anyone who would like to, I don't know, stab me in the back or something? Are there any more great news today?"
Lily smiled weakly. "Well, there's something Marshall and I have to say…"
"What now, Lily? Are the two of you moving to Alaska or something?" Ted spat, gesturing wildly. He didn't know why he was so angry at his friends; he should be happy for Robin and Barney, after all they were only pursuing their careers, but somehow he felt left out, kind of like they had purposely chosen to go as far as possible away from him.
Marshall grabbed his wrist from the other side of the table.
"C'mon Ted, there's no need to take it out on Lily. And anyway, we're not moving anywhere; the news we have is a little more exciting…"
"Guys, what we wanted to tell you is that we're pregnant!" Lily finished the sentence with a wide smile on her face.
Ted felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on his head.
"Well, that's great! Just the news I hoped to hear today. Two of my best friends are moving away, and the other two will have a baby and a new life of their own… It's the best day ever," he said, with fake cheerfulness. "Just the most amazing day!"
He stormed off the bar without a glance back.
***
"The truth, kids, is that I was so sad... It seemed that everyone was out living their life except me; I was just letting life pass before my eyes while I was waiting for that big, consuming love that may never have arrived.
It took me three days before I could hang out at MacLaren's again. During that period I had time to think a lot about my life, about what I wanted, and I also had time to reconsider my reaction to the news I received that day.
Robin was leaving, and it hurt me that I could not see her anymore, live with her in the same apartment, sharing a friendship that close.
Marshall and Lily were having a baby...I was truly happy for them, and I couldn't wait to see my little nephew or niece, but at the same time I realized that things would change with them as well. Soon they would not be able to hang around as often as they did now, and our friendship would suffer for this too.
Strangely, though, what saddened me the most was Barney's departure. He was a cold, calculating and manipulative liar, we didn't have anything in common, but in an odd, mysterious way, he was the one who kept all five of us together, and somehow I knew that he would be the one I would have missed the most.
I refused to explore my feelings at that time; I was too afraid of what I would have found.
But life has a funny way to make you face your worst fears, as I would have discovered a couple of days after what we now like to call the 'Armageddon day'.
As I said, it took me three days to go back at MacLaren's and meet everyone. When I did, it was to apologize for my behaviour."
***
Ted spotted his four friends sitting at their usual table. They were talking and laughing, and Ted tried to mentally take a picture of that moment because he knew that it could be the last time he saw them together like this.
He sighed and approached the table, his head low.
"Hey guys," he greeted, "I'm glad that I've found you here... I think I owe you an apology. I overreacted, and I don't know why. I'm truly happy for you all, I mean it, and I'm sorry for what I said." He turned to Robin.
"Robin, you're a great friend, the best ex-girlfriend ever, and it's been so much fun sharing the apartment with you. I'm so happy that you've found the job you wanted, and I wish you all the best."
She smiled at him as a lone tear escaped her eyes. "Thanks Ted. I appreciate that. You're the best ex-boyfriend too," she rolled her eyes at Barney's cough, "and I'm so sad that we won't get to be roomates anymore..." She stood up and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek.
When they parted, he turned to Marshall and Lily, a smile on his face.
"Guys, I cannot even begin to describe how glad I am for the great news. I mean, you're going to have a baby! And I'm becoming a uncle...Your little child is going to be showered with affection, and presents by his uncle Ted! I'm sorry, Lily."
The couple raised from the table and took turns in hugging Ted.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Lily said. "I mean, yes, you've been a jerk, lashing out to a pregnant woman that way, but I understand. And don't you ever dare to think that we are going to exclude you from our lives just because we're having a baby. None of you must think that. You're our best friends, the people we love the most in the world. There's no way we can leave you out."
He turned to Barney, who had not uttered a word in the meantime, and sighed. His heart began to accelerate as he locked his eyes with the older man's, and he saw them sparkling with anticipation.
Truth to be told, it was an awkward situation for Ted. He was sure that Barney didn't care that much for the same apologetic words and embraces he had bestowed upon the others; he just wasn't the type to appreciate declarations and public displays of affection. And yet, something in his demeanour was telling Ted just the opposite: the way Barney looked at him, the way his hands were clutching the glass...It struck Ted that this was the first time he was noticing how extremely expressive Barney's face was, like he conveyed into his eyes what his mouth would rather not say.
The problem, as usual, though, was that what his mouth did say almost always made Ted want to smack him in the head with a mace.
"Well, bro," Barney said, "don't expect me to hug you and cry over your lame apologies. As you can see, at the table over there there's a group of german girls who want to 'explore'" he actually made air quotes "the beauties of New York. And guess who will be their guide to the wonders of the 'big apple', if you get what I mean?"
He stood up and reached the group of girls, not once looking back.
Ted was left there, with the others, as Marshall and Lily informed him about the good-bye party they had the intention to throw for Robin and Barney.
***
"Two days after, we were at Marshall and Lily's apartment, where a huge party was being hosted.
Robin was there, crying as people congratulated her for the job. Her flight was due in five hours, and the more her departure time grew nearer, the more I saw her getting distressed.
Barney was not there; he would leave on the following morning, and I would not see him for a whole year, maybe more. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so I drank a lot that night; not enough to be completely lost, but enough to do and say stupid things. I desperately wanted to see Barney, to talk to him, to convince him to stay. So I did the first stupid thing of that night. I talked to Marshall. To make you fully understand the weirdness of the conversation, I will stress out once again that I was not very sober."
***
"Hey!" Ted said, a little too merrily for a good-bye party.
"Hey Ted," Marshall answered, smiling a little. He thought his friend was just trying to hide his disappointment for Robin's departure with all that cheerfulness. Or maybe he was just too drunk.
"Hey, Marshall!" Ted repeated. "Marshall, Marshall, Marshall... Our future daddy!"
Marshall ducked his head. He was so obviously happy that Ted felt glad for him.
Marshall pointed at Robin. "It's such a pity she's leaving; I still have some difficulties believing it. We've had so many adventures together, and now..."
Ted almost wanted to cry. And now everybody was growing up. Even Barney.
"Barney is not here." Ted pointed out. "He doesn't care."
Marshall shook his head.
"Dude, it's not like that. You know how Barney is; he can never show his weaknesses. Not even to us."
Ted pouted. "But we are his friends! And there are chances that we will never see each other again..."
Marshall chuckled. "Ted, for the most part of the eight years you've known Barney, all I ever heard from you were complaints about him, and now it seems like you don't want him to leave. What's with the sudden interest in him?"
"I'm not interested in him!" Ted answered, defensively. Truth was that Marshall had gotten the point. Ted turned to look at Robin.
"Do you ever wonder how it would be if they didn't break up?"
Marshall nodded. "They would be miserable, and Barney would weigh a ton by now."
Ted smiled. "They broke up because they were too similar; they weren't happy with each other because they needed someone who could be their opposite; someone who could tell them if they were doing something wrong. Robin and I are opposites. I wanted kids, and she didn't; I wanted to be married, and she wanted to pursue her career... We were the less compatible couple ever, and yet she was the one I loved the most."
Marshall inhaled, while his eyes turned as big as saucers. "Dude, are you implying that you're still in love with her? Oh my God! I have to tell Lily!" This said. he stormed off in search of his wife.
But Ted wasn't listening to him, and hadn't realized that Marshall had left, so he went on. "Barney and I are opposites too. He likes strip clubs, he plays lasertag, he smokes cigars and drinks a bit too much. He likes wearing suits, and he talks incessantly; he's incoherent and he makes dirty jokes, and he doesn't care a bit about the women he takes to bed. I'm not like that, at all, and yet I laugh at his jokes, and I hang out all the time with him. After all, I like to be with him; I like him...I don't want him to leave." He put a hand on his mouth as the realization of what he just said hit him like a train.
"I don't want him to leave...I need to tell him!"
He approached Robin, hugging her tightly.
"I have to go, now," he said, "but I'll keep in touch. I promise. And you have to text me as soon as you land. Understand?"
She rolled her eyes.
"Yes, mom."
He continued, in all seriousness. "You're one of the best friends I'll ever have, and I'll miss you so much... Good-bye, Robin."
She smiled at him.
"I'll miss you too, Ted. And if you dare forget to write to me, I'll take the first plane back and kick your ass for eternity."
He kissed her cheek, chuckling.
"Hey, I could also come to London to visit you sometimes! I always wanted to see the City..."
"I count on that, Mosby."
"See you, Robin Scherbatsky. I love you."
"I love you too, Ted."
Ted released her. They stood a couple of seconds there, looking at each other, and regretting all that they had not become together.
Then Ted shook his head, hastily grabbed his coat and rushed outside to take the first cab which would take him to Barney's apartment.
End of part one