A new idea hit me, I hope you read and like it...thanks!
It was senior year and Quinn couldn't believe it. Summer had gone by too freaking fast for her liking. Lima was such a small town so she got to have her heartbroken almost every week when she saw Finn and Rachel together being the happy couple they were all the time. It killed her.
And every two weeks during that summer the short diva had a Glee get together (she really wanted to win Nationals this coming year) so Quinn had to suffer seeing them together then also.
It had been getting a little better, she knew she wasn't the only one suffering from heartbreak. It was sad and quite awful that she felt comforf from this also, however knowing that Santana was going through the same thing with Brittany being with Artie again kind of helped. Now they could be heartbroken, angry and suffocating in the sea of shattered heart together.
So, Quinn and Santana rekindled their old friendship during that summer and surpised everyone with their once-lost-but-now-new-found friendship.
They entered the school together on that first day of their final year at McKinley and they marched down the hall with the same badass-ness they had always possesed. They scared the Freshman and made everyone around understand that even though they weren't Cheerios and they were in the Glee Club at the bottom they ruled that school, and if anyone tried to tell them otherwise...well let's just say they got what was coming to them.
That's how it was for most of the year also, they scared away everyone, they built up their walls higher and higher, being sure to secure every brick. Quinn isolated herself from everyone beside Santana, really it was only because the Latina was the only one who understood her.
She went to school, she did her homework, studied for her tests, went to Glee and paid attention. That's how she was now. She only talked if it was necessary.
The reason for bottling up her feelings and keeping to herself and her best friend was simple:
If she talked to anyone, if she laughed with anyone, if she sat there and listened to anyone, if she did anything with anyone it would break her heart more. She would break she would litereally break.
She didn't want to feel alone anymore, however she couldn't not feel alone The one person she had ever loved in her life had decided that she wasn't worth it...all because she blocked out her emotions and waited until she was alone to ever let anything out.
She thought that, that was what was best for her, hiding how she was feeling. Hiding the fact that she felt at all, because in reality; she felt every damn thing that came her way. Heartbreak, happiness, misery, pain, love, lust, passion, anger, fright, grief, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness...she felt it all, no matter what emotion, whatever feeling they were all there, and she could feel them, she did feel them.
One day however her routine was broken when she was called into the councelor's office.
"I'm worried about you, Quinn." Miss Pillsbury stated simply after directing the blonde to take a seat.
"Why?" Quinn asked.
The older woman furrowed her eyebrows, "you've completely changed this past year. Last year you were lively and active. You spoke your mind and you..."
"I haven't changed." Quinn objected. "This is who I am."
"I don't believe that." Miss Pillsbury said, "I don't believe it at all...You're not who you're meant to be. You can't just hide in a corner and watch the rest of the world pass you by."
"And why not?" The blonde asked, "you do."
The ginger-haired girl shrugged, "I did." She nodded, "yes, and my life hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to." She sighed, "Quinn, do you really want to be this girl? The one who has no one?"
"I already am that girl."
"Because you've made it that way." Miss Pillsbury shook her head, "you can still change that aspect, you can become someone new. Discover the real you."
Quinn stood up, "look, I am who I want to be." Her eyes searched the room before she growled, "and we're done here."
Miss Pillsbury nodded sadly as she watched the young girl leave.
Quinn rushed past everyone in the hallway, the tears were coming and she couldn't let them...she just couldn't have them fall. Not after she worked so hard to keep them inside for later times, for when she was the only one around.
She was walking, but it turned to a jog, the jog turned to a run.
Just as she rounded the corner toward the girls bathroom that no one used she knocked into something hard. She stumbled backward and ended up falling down.
"Quinn?"
Oh, No! Quinn's mind hollered out. That voice was all too familiar. She shook her head, No, it's not me...just walk away!
The person bent down and reached out to lift her face so that she was facing them.
"Quinn." They said again. This time it was a statement and not a question.
She shook her head as she pushed their hand away and stood up. The tears had fallen, her eyes had betrayed her. She quickly wiped them away, but it was no use more and more were falling. "Sorry I ran into you." She mumbled.
It was the first thing she had said to anyone who wasn't Santana (you know, besides the times the teachers made her talk to anyone...or the thing that just happened between her and Miss Pillsbury).
She started to walk toward the bathrooms again.
"Quinn." The person said again, only this time they grabbed her wrist.
It stopped her from moving, but she didn't turn around.
"Hey, look at me." They said. Their voice was laced with concern.
The blonde slowly spun around, "what?" She asked.
"Are you okay?"
Why were they so stupid? "Yeah, Finn I'm fine."
Finn shook his head as he let his hand fall from her wrist, "why haven't you talked to anyone all year. You and Santana both are like blocking everyone from your lives. What's going on with you?"
Quinn shook her head, "I told you I was fine. Now, we can go back to how we were." She gave him a curt nod before turning back toward the bathroom.
She pushed the door open and walked over to one of the sinks. She pressed her hands against the sides of it and sighed before staring at herself in the mirror. She was crying (not that she hadn't known that). She swiftly turned on the water and ended up splashing it on her face before staring at herself again.
She couldn't tell which dropplets were tears, and which were water.
She stood there for a while, or it felt like a while, a long while.
The door swung open, "I'm not going to ignore you." Finn said, "we're not going back to how we were." He shook his head, "you need to talk...you need to be alive."
Quinn looked at him, "I am alive...and this is the girls room."
Finn rolled his eyes, "please, I know no one uses this bathroom." locked the now closed door and stared at her, "what's wrong with you?" He asked. "Quinn, why'd you stop talking to everyone?"
The blonde shrugged, "it doesn't matter."
"It matters Quinn, everyone misses you."
"I'm still here."
"It's not enough."
Quinn shook her head, "stop, okay just stop!"
Finn took a few steps toward her, "why are you doing this to yourself?" He shrugged, "is this about us?"
Quinn glared at him, "how dare you!" She growled, "you know what Finn, believe it or not...not everything is about you!" She lied as she pushed past him toward the door.
"Quinn wait!" Finn said as he grabbed her wrist for the second time that day.
Quinn looked at him, "what Finn? What do you want from me?"
He let his hand fall, she sounded so heartbroken, so defeated. It scared him, he had never heard her like that before, "what?" He asked.
Quinn pushed the tears back into her eyes, they wouldn't fall while she said this...they couldn't. "What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?" She shook her head, "I don't understand why you can't just leave me alone, why everyone can't just leave me alone. I'm tired of being numb, of trying to care and that's why I've changed." She sighed, "you don't realize how hard it is for me to walk through those doors and see you so comfortable with her everyday. It hurts Finn to know that I can't make you happy the way that she does...and I feel Finn, I feel so much, you just never noticed it because you're always looking her way...and I'm done breaking my heart over you all the time, I'm done with you...I love you but...I just I can't..." she stopped when Finn held up his hand.
"You love me?" He asked.
"I always have." She stated matter-of-factly "but apparently that's not enough."
Finn was the only one she had talked to for another month, and yet she didn't feel any better, telling him how she felt didn't make her feel any better. She avoided him when he tried to talk to her still, just like she had before...she avoided everyone who tried to talk to her, but it didn't matter.
She was still in pain.
She was still in love.
That was when she had decided to do it...this time, it really would be the last time.
"Mr. Schue," Quinn raised her hand.
Mr. Schuester along with everyone else in the room was shocked to hear the girls voice voulntarily working. "Yes Quinn?" The Glee instructor asked.
"I have a song that I would like to sing." She claimed.
Mr. Schuester nodded, "alright, great. We'd love to hear it Quinn."
Quinn smiled a small smile as she got up and walked to the center of the chior room. Mr. Schue took his place in one of the empty chairs. Santana gave her best friend an encouraging smiled (she knew the plan the entire time).
The blonde in the center sighed, "I have all these feelings. And they're pretty freaking messed up." She shook her head, "and though this song doesn't explain them all...it does explain a lot of them." She eyed Finn for a minute, and that minute something shot through the tall boy, he had no idea what it was but he no longer wanted to have his arm wrapped around the short brunette sitting on his right. Quinn broke their gaze as she stated, "this song is meant for someone, a certain someone and I know that they know who they are...and it's not like it's not obvious, but I'll leave it to your imagination." She told the class before the song began.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Finn was standing without even realizing it...now that he thinks about it, he had probably been standing for half the song, but it didn't distract the blonde from getting her message out.
As soon as she finished Finn rushed down and kissed her.
He didn't care about anything that happened around them.
He didn't care that Rachel was screaming at them to stop.
He didn't care that Santana was laughing and cheering for 'The Fuinn Thing'
He didn't care that Puck was probably smirking and muttering, "it's about damn time."
He didn't care that Mike and Tina kept sharing confused yet happy glances.
He didn't care that Mercedes was cheering along with his step-brother Kurt who was probably texting Blaine to start the gossip train.
He didn't care that Sam seemed to be depressed yet happy at the same time.
He didn't care that Brittany was going on about Lord Tubbington and some duck at the park together on a date.
He didn't care that Artie was staring at Brittany and listening intently to the story.
He didn't care that Mr. Schuester was finally at a loss for words as he watched them together.
Hell he didn't even care that Lauren stole the king sized Snickers bar he had in his backpack.
The only thing he cared about was that Quinn's lips were on his and they were kissing and holding each other, and he had finally realized that this was his one last chance to get it right.
The thing was, he finally got the message, he finally got her... and now that he could finally read her and tell how she was feeling, the only thing on his mind was to never see her look so hurt and lost again.
The only thing that mattered was Quinn's happiness, and he realized that he was that...he was her happiness.
And they were together, this time it was forever.
I'm not really sure how it turned out...it may be a bit confusing, so if it is sorry...I think that it may be alright though...
...please review, tell me what you think...
Did you love it/hate it/something in-between?
Please let me know?