Disclaimer: Joss owns the 'verse. I own the shabby couch and back issues of Popular Mechanics.
A/N: A chaptered Rayne story I started a while back and am now revisiting. Inspired by Jayne's choppy reading when he receives the letter from his Ma. What if River wanted to teach him?
It was a gorram terrible idea from the get-go, and Jayne knew it. Cap'n knew better'n to double cross Lonzo and his men, but that sure didn't stop him from doing it anyway. Jayne was planning to give Mal a piece of his mind... just as soon as he figured out how to bust him and River out of captivity.
He looked at the girl, laying unconscious on the floor, and rolled his eyes. That no-good gorram brother of hers couldn't keep his hands off'n Kaylee long enough to make sure the little moonbrain didn't interfere in their deal. If he was being honest with himself, the deal was going sour long before River showed up, but her crazy-talkin' and wide-eyed starin' sure didn't help matters none.
He shook his head, and immediately regretted the decision. Lonzo's number two sure had put a whammy on him. The marks where the stun gun hit him were still angry red and very tender. He looked over and saw two identical marks on the girl's arm. Grumbling, he slowly made his way on all fours over to where the girl lay, figuring if he let her die, Simon would likely try to kill him. He wouldn't succeed, of course, but Jayne was in no mood to shoot the good doctor as soon as he got back to Serenity.
River was curled up on her side, her face scrunched up as if in pain. Jayne could tell she was breathing, so that was good news. He grabbed her arm, not too careful to avoid the welts the gun had made, and flipped her onto her back.
"Hey, girl," he said gruffly, shaking her by the shoulder. "Come on now, wake up. We gotta get ourselves on outta here, and I reckon we could use some o' yer ninja-fightin' hocus pocus about now."
River didn't respond.
"Gorramit, girl, I ain't got all day! Come on, now." Jayne put his large hand against the girl's face and began gently slapping her. Well, gently for him.
Suddenly, he was staring into a pair of wide black eyes.
"Ow," the girl said calmly. "Hurts."
Jayne sat back on his heels. "Sorry," he mumbled, forgetting for a second the predicament they were in. River sat up fluidly, taking in their surroundings.
"Buried treasure," she whispered, crawling to the concrete wall and laying a hand on it.
"Huh?" Jayne said, watching her curiously. River was mostly lucid these days, but most things she said still didn't make no sense to Jayne.
She turned to look at him and cocked her head. "He thinks we're worth something. Thinks they'll pay to have us back. Buried us, like treasure. Like pirate's booty."
"Like pirate's... what?" Jayne said, completely befuddled. "What you talkin' about, girl? What do you mean, we're buried like treasure?"
River looked up at the ceiling, about ten or twelve feet above them. "Underground," she said softly. "Subterranean. Under the earth."
Jayne looked around, taking in the details of the little room. The floor was cold and hard, with a couple worn braided rugs flung about haphazardly. A broken-down couch took up one wall, while a rickety chair and table perched in the corner. There was a bookcase along the opposite wall, though it was mostly empty. It looked like someone's basement, Jayne thought.
Wait. Someone's...
"We're underground," he said, understanding dawning. "He's hidden us in some sort of underground room."
River arched an eyebrow in his direction and gave him a scathing look. "That's what she said."
"Well, if you know so much, moonbrain, then why don't ya tell us how to get the ruttin' hell out of here!" Jayne felt a little panicked -- he got sorta claustrophobic, and didn't much like confined spaces. He preferred the sky to bein' on the ground, and the idea of bein' under it...
Jayne swallowed hard, and River watched him curiously. "You're afraid," she said, though there was nothing questioning or accusatory in her voice. It was a simple statement.
"I ain't neither!" Jayne shouted, scrambling to his feet and towering over the girl. "You take that back, now, you hear?"
River cocked her head. "Fear is a basic human response to certain external or internal stimuli," she said. "But Jayne doesn't want people to think he's human, does he?"
Jayne slumped against the wall, all the fight suddenly going out of him. "Shut up," he said, but there was no real rancor in it.
"Hard to stay quiet," River whispered, directing her uncanny gaze toward Jayne. "Hard to keep the thoughts inside when they are swirling, pounding, tumbling out."
Jayne stared. "Uh... yeah," he said, feeling uncomfortable. He searched for something else to say, but came up with nothing. Instead, he crossed to the door on the other side of the room and began feeling for a lock or ID pad that would let them out, knowing his efforts would be futile.
"The obvious answer will not prove effective in this instance," River said. "Though your attempts at finding the solution by eliminating the options one-by-one exhibits a commendable, if surprising, logic."
Jayne had no clue what the crazy little waif was trying to say, so he ignored her in favor of pressing an ear against the door, hoping to hear something on the other side that might give them an idea of where they were. When his ears met only silence, he sighed and turned, leaning his back against the door.
"Well, yer the insane genius here," he said, rolling his eyes as he did so, "so how you figure we ought to go about gettin' ourselves outta this hole?"
River opened her mouth to respond, but Jayne shushed her with a look and a raised hand, suddenly alert and looking toward the door. She snapped her mouth shut and tilted her head, closing her eyes to listen.
Yes, there was definitely a noise out there, a shuffling and clicking, followed by voices, hushed and low.
"You ready, girlie?" Jayne asked softly, dropping into a fighting stance. River nodded her understanding and followed suit, her lithe body falling into a low crouch. Her eyes went even darker, if possible, and Jayne could almost see the killin' gleam in them. It gave him a chill to see it, but it also gave him a sense of awe. He remembered that day, almost two years ago now, seein' that same defiant, murderous look in her eye, as she took on a whole gaggle of Reavers. He shivered, and shook off the memory. Time to focus. Time to bust 'em out of this hole and haul their asses back to Serenity.
He turned his attention back to the door just in time to hear it snick open, and without even getting a good look at what was on the other side, he launched himself into the air.
He landed hard on something -- correction, someone, and quickly rolled off, throwing punches before he even saw the target. The man was huge, even bigger'n him, which was saying something. He also knew how to fight, dodging and ducking Jayne's attacks with the grace and speed of someone with years of training.
Two feet away, the moonbrain was involved in her own struggle. She was latched onto Lonzo's back, pummeling his head for all she was worth. Jayne paused for a split second to watch her, and thus made his fatal error. His opponent had him down and pressed face-first on the floor before he could say "gorrammit."
Lonzo, for his part, looked almost amused at the proceedings. Jayne was confused. The way River was wailing on him, his brain oughta be runnin' out his gorram ears. But her tiny fists seemed to be as ineffectual on the oaf as... well, tiny fists.
Before Jayne could blink, Lonzo had thrown off the girl. She landed soft as a cat, straightening up swiftly and looking triumphantly down at her hand. Jayne followed her gaze, and felt an ounce of pride for the crazy girl when he saw the gun gleamin' there, held tight in her grip.
Lonzo smirked. "What you gonna do, girlie? You gonna shoot me?"
"You bet yer ruttin' ass she is!" Jayne grunted, getting an elbow in the back for his trouble.
Lonzo's grin widened. "Well, go ahead then," he said, the challenge apparent in his voice. He spread his arms wide, exposing his chest to her. "Gimme your best shot."
River stood there for a moment, breathing hard. Jayne heard her click off the safety. He braced himself to hear the shot, thinking he would use the moment to throw off the thug on top of him and take him down. But the shot didn't come.
"What you waitin' for, moonbrain? Shoot the bastard!" River's eyes flicked to him for a brief second, and he caught a flash of uncertainty. What in the gorramn 'verse was takin' her so long?
Lonzo laughed then, sounding mighty pleased with the situation. "Can't do it, can you, girlie? Keep trying, though, this is the most entertainment I've had in a while."
"River," Jayne gasped, as the brute on top of him pressed him harder against the floor, pushing the air of his lungs, "shoot 'im!"
Jayne heard a soft, low keening noise and looked around as far as he could without raising his head. Finally, he realized it was coming from the girl.
"Ruttin' fine time to go and lose yer marbles again," he muttered, feeling a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach as he realized the tide was fast turning against them. "River," he said, making his voice as hard and as authoritative as he could, trying to sound like Mal did when he was givin' an order. "Shoot. Him. Now."
The girl let out an anguished cry. "She's trying!" she wailed, the hand holding the gun beginning to shake. "Girl is trying!"
"Well, girl better try harder!" Jayne growled. "Pull the gorramn trigger!"
Lonzo stepped closer to River, a grim smile stretching his already-thin lips even thinner. "Don't reckon that's going to work, now is it? I reckon I've done called your bluff, girlie. You ain't gonna shoot me, are you?"
River whimpered, shaking her head. "Can't," she whispered. "Brain sending signals; muscles won't obey."
"That's right," Lonzo crooned, sounding almost soothing. "It's not your fault, is it? Now why don't you hand over that shiny piece you got there?"
River shook her head, her grip tightening on the gun as Lonzo stepped forward. She backed away, her whole body trembling. Jayne watched, angry and confused all to hell. What happened to the crazy lunatic assassin girl he was countin' on?
Lonzo moved suddenly then, wresting the gun from River and throwing her to the floor. She landed with a startled cry on her hands and knees, all the grace suddenly gone from her.
"Now then," Lonzo said, holstering his weapon, "let's get down to business." He removed a small box, what looked to Jayne like a comm device, out of his back pocket. "You know what this is?" he asked, brandishing the box at the girl and flipping up a plastic cover on the front of it.
River's eyes went wide, and a tear streaked down her face. There was terror in her gaze, fear like what Jayne had only felt when in the presence of the Reavers. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why the moonbrain would be so afraid of the little box, but he knew horror when he saw it, so he figured it must be bad.
"Got this here little device on a job on Ariel," he said, pressing a button and pulling up a blue screen. River shrieked, and Lonzo grinned. "Nearly got myself killed trying lift it, but I managed to get it, right under the nose of one of them fellas with the blue gloves. You're well acquainted with them, ain't you?"
Jayne could barely see the girl out of the corner of his eye. She had curled up on the floor, tucking her knees into her chest and rocking back and forth.
"Don't worry, little one," Lonzo said, walking over to the girl and crouching down to look her in the eye. "I ain't gonna hurt you with it... much. I just wanna keep you and your muscle here in check while I look for the highest bidder. You don't try nothing funny, and the box here goes bye-bye. We clear?"
River nodded, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sob. Jayne clenched his jaw, still wonderin' what the hell was goin' on.
"What the hell is goin' on?" he said, and the man on top of him lifted his head by the hair, slamming his forehead into the concrete floor. Jayne's vision swam, and he cursed, trying to buck the man off of him.
Lonzo nodded to his thug. "Let him up. We're finished here. For now."
Jayne sucked in a lungful of air as the pressure on his back lifted, and quickly rolled, aiming a kick at the man's kneecaps. But before he made contact, there was a sharp pain in the side of his head, and everything went black.