Once upon a time
In a kingdom far far away
There was a little boy
And a horse
Whose name was Susan
His father was a priest
The mother of the boy was an alien
The alien mother was in love with the father of Susan
The priest aka Susan's father was a centaur
The priest was very conflicted about his religion due the fact that he was part horse, he was in love with an alien, and his son's life choices being the fact that his son's name was Susan.
The alien was having an affair with a bee
Feeling those good vibrations with his stinger
Then one day the king of Narnia arrived and slaughtered the boy's family.
Because the alien had an affair with the bee, which turned out to be the kings only bee
The boy left his home riding on Susan's back
They were the only two left of the great legacy of Thor
The king of Narnia did not know that there were survivors of Thor's legacy
Ten years later (SpongeBob voice)
The boy and Susan were ready for the fight. To exact revenge on the king of Narnia
And to bring back the legacy of Thor
Smaug started making out with the doctor while Castiel and dean touched each other Feeling those good vibrations with his …
The boy suddenly realized that he had opened the wrong door, but he thought to himself that later he would have to come back and allow Susan to enjoy the show
The boy closed the door, and started to walk towards the misty mountain
Where he found a ring that was made of candy
Susan decided that he wanted to roll in some mud so that he could feel like a dirty dirty Susan
But the boy refused to allow Susan to do what he wanted
The boy was in charge and there would be no shenanigans to be had on this journey to find the boy's father which was rumored to be the dark lord, but he didn't know if it was the dark lord Voldemort or Darth Vader
The boy began to think, he didn't have anything to fight with, he needed a weapon and a spear or a pitchfork; or maybe he needed a trident!
The boy also realized that him and Susan were alone, them against the king of Narnia. the boy decided he needed nine friends, one who would give his ax (the spray), one would give his bow (a cool bow-tie that is), another would give his sword (that is the one in his pants), the other magic (the gathering), and the others were just nobodies, who had nothing to offer other than background to the plot of this story
All of a sudden the god of the trees Sylvanus, came to tell some wise words to the boy "three riddles these answer must you, redemption for quest you're on continue to" and provide him with random redshirts for protection from the shirtless dancing werewolves and vampires.
The boy decided to heed this strange looking man's words. Unfortunately the god didn't tell him the riddles... so it made no sense. As well as there was no way for the boy to see the man again ever… for one of his companions had in fact clobbered that poor unfortunate god with a frying pan.
the boy felt the sudden need to flip up his kilt and fuck a strange hole he found in the wall and it was glorious but the hole had blades around the edges so that is wasn't that glorious… except Susan liked the show… Susan liked seeing the boy in pain.
The boy was finally ready for his confrontation with the king of Narnia.
They arrived at the palace, this group of misfits and they walked through the waterfall and into the throne room.
All of a sudden the boy noticed he was all alone. There was no one there. There was only a giant mirror. And the boy walked up to the mirror and he saw himself, Susan, and all of his followers, he even saw the king.
He looked around him but he didn't see anything. He looked back at the mirror and saw everyone. That was the moment the boy realized that…
The boy suddenly awoke, in a white room. There were alarms going off, the boy looked around to see what appeared to be a hospital room. A nurse ran into the room, saying all these things, but the boy could only ask where his mommy was? The nurse looked at him with sadness in her eyes.
A few weeks later the boy's aunt appeared and she brought him home. When he was all unpacked she sat him down and told him what happened. He had been in a car accident with his family. His older sister Susan had died, his mother Amy had died a week later and his step father Cedric had hung himself a year later. The boy's real father Tom had been murdered five years after the accident. So the only family member he had left was his aunt Mrs. Hudson. She was the one that would take care of him.
The boy was six when the accident happened and he was sixteen when he awoke from his coma.