Sin

Chapter 1- Mello

Disclaimer: I do not own death note or any of the characters, if I did... a certain sleepless detective with messy black hair and a letter for a name would not die.

Well, the only warnings are for shounen-ai /yaoi in later chapters (chapter 2 or chapter 3) and it hints at child abuse (nothing major), oh... and Mello acts a bit OCD (i.e. he acts a little obsessive compulsive), etc.

This is a MattXMello story

Please enjoy (I do not mean to offend the Catholic Church, so I apologise if it comes across that way)

[by the way, for those of you waiting for the next chapter of "thus it begins" (my HikaKao story) don't worry, the update will come soon]

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[Mihael, age 4...]

"no! I don't wanna! Don't wanna!" screamed a 4 year old Mihael as his father dragged him towards the church. The harder Mihael tried to pull away, the harder his father gripped his arm

"Mihael, you're upsetting your mother. You horrible child! What have we done for god to bless us with such a blasphemous son?" scolded his angry farther, gesturing towards a sobbing woman next to him. He grabbed the boy's arm violently and forcefully dragged him into the church.

"How could they raise such a terrible and ungrateful child?" came the voice of a woman from behind.

During the service he sat there, in silence like he always did. He did not want to anger his farther and make his mother cry... again. Mihael hated them so much, he hated the way his father shouted at him and disciplined him, he hated the way his mother seemed to burst into tears of shame at the sight of him, he hated the way he was forced into the confessions box every Sunday after the service and the way people would make comments about him, thinking he was too young or stupid to know what they were talking about. He was not stupid but no matter how high his IQ was, he was still treated like a stupid little kid... in actual fact he had more awareness of the world than most people do in their early teens, even though he was only 4.

That was all he remembered from his childhood, before he was taken to Wammy's house. He was taken there when his parents died in a car accident.

[Wammy's house]

On his first day there he was told to forget his name and from that point onwards he was to be called, "Mello".

The first thing he did was cry, it started as loud bawling and slowly died to soft sobbing. All night he cried, still clutching his mother's rosary, not out of remembrance of love... it was out of a need for hate, it was all he ever knew and besides, he didn't know what love was.

The second thing he did was in the morning, when Rodger came to see him. He had cried all the tears he had, he cried a good few years worth in actual fact.

"Mister? Where is the church?" said Mello in a quiet voice.

"hm? Oh, it's down the stairs, along the hall and on your right. would you like me to take you there, sonny?" replied Rodger, kindly. It was the first time Mello could ever remember someone being kind to him.

When he entered the church, while clutching the rosary he wondered, 'if god loves all, why is it me that he hates? Have I sinned?' Mello did not like going to church but it was all he could remember doing, along with bible study, et cetera. Going to the church would become an breakable habit, a self inflicted torment.

[Mello, age 12]

It was very masochistic of him, but every day, without fail, he walked to the church and held the rosary that was draped around his neck. There was so much pain associated with churches and the rosary, why did he do this to himself? Mello felt like if he did not go to the church confessions at least every day, his life would feel even more agonizing and things would simply fall apart.

Mello slowly walked over to the confessions box.

"Forgive me farther, for I have sinned." He stated, ritualistically.

"When was your last confession?" asked the priest, although he already knew because Mello had come to confessions almost every day since he first arrived.

"Yesterday." Mello replied. For some reason he sounded disgusted with himself. "I have sinned. I am afraid that I am guilty of the sins of wrath and envy-" he took a bite of a chocolate bar in the middle of the sentence "- and apparently gluttony too." He paused for a second and stared into space. He then continued, "I am envious of Near. All I want is to become L's successor but, that god-damn Near is always one step ahead of me in everything." He gave almost the exact same speech every day.

"Do not take the lords name in vain. If you truly repent your sins then you are absolved." The priest was beginning to grow concerned about Mello; it was not healthy to have such limited contact with other people. "Mello, there is a new boy joining the orphanage today, I believe he is only slightly younger than you. I think it would be a good idea for you to show him around." The old priest wanted nothing more than for Mello to have friends, to not be on his own, he knew that he hated coming to the church because of the painful memories it held. It was just a ritual, an obsession, burned into his soul from birth.

Mello was not pleased with the idea of showing this new kid around, he distrusted people because they always turned him away. The other kids avoided him like the plague. 'maybe, if I'm nice to this kid... god wont hate me anymore' he thought to himself

[Enter, Matt]

"Matt, this is Mello. He's going to show you around. Ok?" Rodger said to the boy who was hiding from Mello behind him. He stepped to the side to reveal to Mello a boy, not much younger than himself... it looked like there was only a year in it, the boy had red hair and orange-tinted goggles on his head. He wore a black and white striped shirt with a pair of old baggy jeans. The jeans and the shirt had splatters of what looked like blood on them, but he wasn't bleeding. The boy, whose name was apparently 'Matt', looked at Mello with wide eyes. Rodger nudged him towards Mello.

"C'mon kid. I don't have all day." Said Mello in his least threatening voice, although it didn't work out that way. 'What does god want from me? 'He thought to himself. While he was thinking about what he had done to deserve god's hate the red haired boy walked cautiously over to his side.

Mello took the boy to his bedroom, which was a few doors down from his own.

"Ok, kid. This is your room. Bathroom is down the hall on the left and the church is down the stairs, along the hall and on your right." he said quickly as he turned to leave. He wanted to get out of there, it was time for afternoon prayers, he never missed it, it was always at the same time... it was the time his father would force him to prey and hit him across the back of the head if he refused and then make him listed to the book of revelations.

"I don't need to know where the church is, I don't go." said a timid voice. 'oh, he is a godless heathen' thought Mello.

"why not? Don't you know what will happen to you if you don't follow gods word?" he shouted.

"s-sorry, um, please will you stay?" asked the boy as tears began to emerge in his eyes.

"fine" huffed Mello, he wouldn't agree if it was anyone else, there was something about this boy that he just couldn't say no to. "so what happened to you?, Matt wasn't it?" he asked casually, looking at the blood on Matt's clothes.

"m-my mum and dad, they died. I watched them die, s-so m-much blood." Matt began to shake as tears leaked out from his eyes. "my mum, her eyes were looking at me but there was no light behind them. My dad was... twisting and shaking and writhing. They were killed in a hail of gunfire along with three other people." He burst into tears.

"if your mum and dad were good people, they will be in heaven now." said Mello as he places his hand Matt's shoulder, unsure of what to do or how to comfort him, this had never happened to him before. "You will have to change out of those blood stained clothes, do you have any with you?" asked Mello. Matt simply shook his head. "Wait here then." Huffed Mello as he left to go and get some clothes from his room. 'Perhaps helping this kid will absolve me, maybe god will stop hating me' he thought.

Mello was haunted by his emotional scars. He felt like he was condemned to seek forgiveness for his own existence. It didn't matter how many times he read the bible or prayed or went to confession. The memories of his parents still lurked around every corner.

Matt was not short of his own problems either. The dying faces of his parents in rivers of their blood appeared every time he closed his eyes.

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(Gomen nasai) I am very sorry if this chapter sucked, I promise to make it up to you and do better in chapter 2 TT_TT I will do better, so please stick around.

Can Matt be Mello's salvation? Or will having Matt around simply make things worse and finally push Mello over the edge? Find out in chapter 2. (please come back, I always update as soon as possible)