Folie à Deux Chapter 1: Erotomania, a gakuen alice fanfic

Author's Notes: I have no idea why I'm writing a fanfiction when I have long given up on writing one. Oh well.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE.

Summary: AU.Sakura Mikan vowed never to fall in love with him even if the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, Hyuuga Natsume will do anything for love. A tale in which screams of frustrations and crumpled papers lead to something worse than insanity. NxM RxH?

Folie à Deux
-shackled wisteria-
Erotomania
Case No. 1

In a few moments, it will be her graduation from senior high school. Finally.

The demise of her existence was neither of her low ranking nor the folly of her actions, but something more tangible than that, which she dared not to elaborate further. If asked whether she was contented of her current ranking, Sakura Mikan would only flash her trademark grin and a concise line from 'The Students' Guide to Sakura Mikan's Code of Intellectual Idiocy TM: the intelligence of a student does little or no justice to one's character. Simply put, she never cared.

Besides, she's already eighteen, not ten years old and so her naiveté (although she still exhibits it sometimes) and impulsive actions no longer irritate all the people around her in one out of ten occasions.

Oh and yes, she's an idiot and Mikan needed no one to remind her of that everytime. (Knowing that she herself is an idiot is a miracle on its own, according to many; they are thankful that at least she knows that much.)

But right now, neither her idiocy nor the insults, which are constantly being attached to her name, can do very little to increase her animosity towards life.

Sakura Mikan was literally burning. Like hell, the author would like to add.

"HYUUGA NATSUME!!!!!"

Then a huge pair of scissors came slashing through a naked raven-haired rag doll, which was plump in appearance and was thoroughly sewn.

A stuffed doll for voodoo purposes?

The author would like to interrupt a bit and remind you all that animals are fed well before they are slaughtered.

CAPS LOCKED.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME POLKADOTS IN FRONT OF THE MOST HANDSOME GUY I HAVE EVER MET?!!! I SHALL KILL YOU WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS! TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB! PLUCK THOSE RUBY EYES FROM YOUR HANDSOME FACE! I'M GONNA PROVE TO YOU THAT INSULTING ME WILL BE YOUR ONE WAY TICKET TO HELL!"

And the poor rag doll was torn into pieces.

Imai Hotaru, aged 18, never doubted the fact that her best friend, Sakura Mikan, was indeed insane.

"Mikan. When was the last time you went to a psychiatrist?" Hotaru inquired flatly, while momentarily shifting her attention from the science book she was reading back to her idiot of a best friend.

Blink, blink. Unfortunately, our little tangerine here knew nothing about the word sarcasm.

Imai Hotaru was now convinced that Sakura Mikan is still consulting her psychiatrist on a daily basis; she's still as stupid as ever in nine out of ten occasions.

"HOTARU! Are you trying to aggravate me more?!!!" screamed Mikan, as she dashed to Hotaru, who was looking as impassive as ever. "As my best friend, you should be helping me on my plans to assassinate that bastard Hyuuga Natsume!"

With an inclined eyebrow, Hotaru replied, "I'd rather not; I don't want to die at an early age. Besides, as far as I know, death wishes do not contain words of praise nor compliments. So, would you mind telling me what's the purpose of saying Hyuuga Natsume has a handsome face?"

Mikan blushed.

"Err… well…"

Hotaru stared back with violet orbs, patiently yet disturbingly waiting for a response. When Mikan no longer made an effort to speak up in the next thirty seconds, Hotaru thought it would be better to give her a piece of advice. After scribbling a few lines in a white piece of paper, she left their dorm without a word.

"Ho…Hotaru?" Mikan silently called out but the main door soon closed. Shut.

Mikan, while still experiencing the woes of unknowingly calling THE Hyuuga Natsume handsome in front of her best friend, read the contents of the paper aloud.

Mikan,

I told you a million times already to go to the hospital and consult a psychiatrist, but you, on the other hand, keep on denying your psychological disorders.

Lately, as you've noticed, I have been working diligently to find out what mental disorder has been gladly bestowed upon you. To my surprise, I found out something which concerns the improprieties of your actions and speeches:

Erotomania: PSYCHIATRY belief in nonexistent relationship: the delusion of being loved by and romantically involved in a relationship with a person, especially somebody famous or of high social position

To make it less complicated for an idiot like you, you are in love worse, with Hyuuga Natsume.

Hotaru

P.S. I would like to remind you that you owe me 1000 yen for that piece of information.

P.P.S. I'm going ahead. You should start preparing yourself for the graduation later, idiot.

P.P.P.S. Kthxstfunbai.

Mikan gawked at the piece of paper in front of her then ran outside their dorm in hopes of clarifying things to her best friend. When Mikan noticed that there was no one on the hallways, hell broke loose.

In love? In love? With Hyuuga Natsume?

CAPS LOCKED PART TWO.

"FROM THE MOMENT I SAW THAT ARROGANT, CONCEITED, PEA BRAIN, HYUUGA NATSUME I HAVE ALREADY CONVINCED MYSELF THAT HE'S THE LAST MAN ON EARTH WHOM I COULD EVER BE PREVAILED ON TO MARRY!!!" (Italicized words © JaneAusten.)

That was when a door was hastily opened and a leather shoe came flying straight to her face.

BAM!

"So Polka dots, you're having delusions of sexual harassing me now, eh?"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. But his eyes scream hell and so adieu.

Hyuuga Natsume was pissed. If there were anything in the world he would love to see and yet kill over and over again, it would be his nemesis, the one who currently lives across his and his best friend's dorm, Sakura Mikan.

Dangerous ruby eyes came contact with Mikan's chocolate brown ones.

"What now polka dots?" he demanded, with hands coolly placed inside the pockets of his trousers. Pffft. His arrogance screams like cymbals. "Tell me if you want to do it now, my room is free. Oh, and so am I."

No answer.

"Shall I strip your clothes right here and drag you naked into my room?"

Still no answer.

"Another suggestion, shall we just do it right here and right now then?"

Unfortunately, Hyuuga Natsume seemed to have said those last lines louder then necessary. When hushed voices suddenly filled the once deserted hallway, all Natsume can do was to slyly smirk at the stunned woman in front of him, who, on the other hand, went completely pale.

Have I ever told you before that Sakura Mikan does not know anything about sarcasm? Right.

So, without contemplating on her whether her next action will stir up suspicions around her, Mikan lunged to Natsume and knock him to the floor on purpose.

What a compromising situation: she on top of him.

CAPS LOCKED PART THREE.

"PERVERTED WOMANIZER! HYUUGA NATSUME! I'LL DIE FIRST BEFORE I GIVE UP MY VIRGINITY TO YOU! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT I AM THAT LOW TO SUCCUMB TO YOUR LUSTFUL INTENTIONS?!!!!"

'Ahhhs' were heard from the background and Natsume could not ask for more. When humiliation is suffered between him and Mikan, it was worth the trouble and shame.

"Who would want an idiot like you?" Natsume answered in as a matter of fact tone.

Veins twitched. POP!

"HAH!" retorted Mikan without even realizing that she's probably blocking the poor guy's (Natsume) respiratory system. Ahhh, yes. She's still on top of him. "I shouldn't be bothered by your insults now, should I? After all, today is our graduation and this will be the last day I will ever see your damned face!"

Now, this was a topic, which perked up Natsume's curiosity without a doubt.

"Pray, may I ask why?" he asked. The fact that Sakura Mikan was not worth of his inquisition was now out of his mind.

Mikan felt so proud of herself. SHE WON THIS ROUND.

But you see my dear readers, there is a fact that I have always wanted to emphasize in each chapter: Mikan is an idiot.

"Silly. Although I am now accepted to Tokyo University (aside: despite of being in the waiting list before), I have decided not to go there anymore. So I'll just see you in hell, someday. Hohohohoho!" Mikan carelessly said, after finally deciding to get off of Natsume.

Before Sakura Mikan can move back to her dorm, Hyuuga Natsume did the best thing he can do to catch her attention. With more 'oooohhs' and 'ahhhhs' from the background, he pulled one of her pigtails. Hard.

"Oi, polka dots. Yeah, we'll see each other in hell someday." And the door to his dorm was shut tight.

Mikan, on the other hand, fidgeted on her spot and stared at the door, which was suddenly shut at her face.

Flipping his cellphone open, Natsume scrolled down his contact list until he found the name he was looking for.

"Ruka, it's me. Are you in school already? I need to see someone and I'm sure you'll thank me forever if you do my favor."

The voice on other line replied quite suspiciously, "Who?"

Smirking one last time, Natsume said with a sense of finality and determination, "Imai Hotaru."

As Natsume stared to his study table, there on top of it was an opened pink and fluffy notebook, with a neat, bold handwriting written on the middle:

SAKURA MIKAN'S DIARY: TOUCH AND DIE.

'We shall never see each other again, huh, Sakura Mikan. We'll see about that. '

Because as you can see, Hyuuga Natsume will do anything for love.

TBC ------

Author's Notes: So now that you've read it, give this author some cookies and review. This fanfic is unedited, because it's 12 in the morning and I have a part-time job tomorrow.

Review and plot bunnies will happily bounce in my head.