Life has to be balanced with death, hate has to be balanced with love, and happiness has to be balanced with sorrow. 'I should've seen it coming, I was far too happy that night, it's my fault that he's gone.'
Why didn't I see it coming? I knew that something tragic would have to happen to balance out joy of that magnitude, yet I didn't stop myself. I bathed in our victory and joy. I laughed with everyone and I loved him. I was so happy that night. Perhaps that's what made the what happened next so tragic? The fact that we fell into a pit of sorrow from so high up. If only I hadn't been so blissful, then perhaps fate wouldn't have had to take him away from me.
He died in my arms, you know. He threw himself between a dragon attack and my feeble body. It would've ripped me to shreds, but he passed away slowly. Damn me. If only I was stronger, if only I wasn't so damn small then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have ever felt the need to protect me. Maybe he would've saved someone else? Someone smaller. It's strange, you know? I first forgave him when he took a thunder bolt for me. But I couldn't forgive him for doing it then, the act of protecting me almost bookmarked our love. The time with Laxus; I forgave him and started to become his friend, the time on tenrojima; I had completely fallen for him, and then on the 7/7 he wiped away my tears and told me that he would always love me. He said that he admired my forgiving nature, but I couldn't forgive him for leaving me, I don't think I ever will, not until I see him in the afterlife at least.
But I'm in no hurry to join him there. No, he gave me this life, there's no way in hell I'm going to abuse it. When he was in my arms, he told me not to waste my tears, he told me to find love again. At the time I told him it was impossible, everyone I loved was dyeing. The fool smiled at me and told me that love would find its way back into my life. Looking back I wonder if he knew, I didn't but they say death can make a man see strange things.
He was right you know. I did find someone to live for, I know I will never love them the way I loved Gajeel, but they are my reason for living. It was hard raising children in a world run by dragons, but I did it. They're seven now. She's got our combined stubbornness, my love of books, his love of fighting, my hair, forgiveness, and his eyes; softened by love and my genetics. He was so much like his father, the same raven hair and piercing crimson eyes. I almost broke down when I saw him. Although he's much more cool and collected than his father. I wonder how he is now? I told him not to play near eclipse, I told him that some dragons hung about the area. I guess he was too much like his father, he would listen to what I'd say, but he'd never do it.
When I got there a dragon had him cradled in his giant paws and it scolded me for letting him out of my sight. He said that he should eat him for trespassing on his nest, I begged and pleaded with the dragon to spare my boy, and I thank the heavens that dragons are intelligent creatures. The dragon, Skiadrum, took my son and flew into eclipse.
My daughter is all I have left. I've learnt to love her in the stead of her father, but I can't take it anymore Lu-chan. So many people died. Please, save them. Stop it all from happening, I know you can do it Lu-chan, that's why you were sent to the past. Don't worry about us, you can't feel pain if you never existed.
Goodbye, Lu-chan. I'll see you in a better future.