Prologue for Egypt Dream
On the street in front of an orphanage there were three children playing outside in the rain. Two boys and a girl. One of the boys was about ten and the other five, the girl looked about eight years old. A women was sticking her head out of the orphanages front door yelling at the kids to come in. They obeyed although reluctantly. The older boy leading the way as they walked up to the orphanage steps and inside the old building. "Come inside or you'll catch a cold. No one will adopt you if you are sick". "You have to go down to the main hall and up to your room to change then come down for supper." They all went in line up to the stairs then to the room they shared. The girl went through to the left side of the room and the boys went to the bathroom to change. The older boy was ready first wearing a cream dress shirt, a blue sweeter vest, and blue dress pants. The girl was wearing a blue dress shirt and turquoise pants. The youngest was wearing a turquoise shirt and blue pants. They all went downstairs and then to the dining room. They took their spots sitting down on the benches that were already crowded with twenty kids on each bench. The cook came into the dining room carrying platters of food. He didn't look happy because of having to cook for a hundred and twenty kids. The days menu was spinach and broccoli soup. Most of the kids ate because they were so hungry but Seto, Mokuba, and Kenage weren't hungry. Sometimes when the orphanage directors weren't looking they sneaked into town to work all the jobs they would hire kids to do. Sometimes people just gave them money, most of the time because Mokuba did such a good job of looking hungry people would feel sorry for them and give them money. Afterwards they would buy food and put it underneath their beds then eat at or after dinner when they were hungry. Today their food consisted of bread, water, and fruit but that was always better than eating the orphanage food so they waited until the end of dinner being served and went upstairs. Seto crawled under his bed and pulled out the food. They sat around the bed and ate as much as they could for the day the they put the rest of the food under the bed and went back downstairs. Dinner was almost over so they sat in their seats and waited until everyone was done eating. The people who wanted to adopt kids would be coming in five minutes so everyone had to clean up the orphanage. The youngest kids washed the windows and the others cleaned the floor or did the dishes. Mokuba was one of the youngest kids in the orphanage. The only person who was younger than him was Celia who was four. Seto and Kenage had floor duty which was the worst. It was assigned only to kids who weren't assistants pet's and were hated by the assistant or who got in trouble.(excluding pets) Seto and Kenage fell under both categories. The assistant hated them because they were smart and they did what they were supposed to. Sometimes the assistant would frame them or just make them do it. But today they had a plan to get revenge. They were going to put traps in the assistants and pets rooms so that they would scream and be scared. Traps were easy to make. Fake mice, snakes, red glue attached to the door along with a bucket of feathers, and of course Mokuba dressed up as a ghost and the intercom system with ghostly voices operated by Seto. Kenage had a different job. It was to make sure none of the kids that would tell someone or on them knew. They only told a handful of boys who hated the orphanage almost as much as they did and enjoyed seeing Seto and Mokuba play chess. Then the time came. All of the orphanage directors went to bed since none of the people who would adopt them were there yet so did the perfects. Mokuba went into the room, Kenage got all of the equipment, ready, and Seto started talking in a ghostly voice. Everything was going according to plan. All of their little traps got activated by Kenage and then the doorbell rang. The parents were here. All of the directors and perfects came down to greet them and the parents exploded with laughter. First the directors didn't know what they were laughing at. Then all the kids came downstairs with Seto, Kenage, and Mokuba in front. "I can't believe you were scared of a ten year old making voices, a five year old ghostly dressed, and a bunch of fake mice, snakes, red glue, and feathers." You did all of this? What do you expect of a ten year old genius, a practical eight year old, and a very adorable looking five year old". "All right now to business, we apologize but we had to get back at you for all of the things you did to us. First of all you punished us even if we did what you wanted us to which could be anything from cleaning out this whole place in fifteen minutes to eating nothing for a few days." Said Seto A bunch of whispers came from a group of parents. "Quiet everyone." Said one of the directors "Now is the time for adoption and adoption papers." "We want to adopt Seto Kaiba".(Sorry I don't know what his last name was before he got adopted. If you do tell me) Said most of the parents "There is one catch if you adopt me." said Seto "My brother Mokuba also has to be adopted alongside with me."
"I can't have two kids." said almost all of the parents accept for one
"I'll adopt them". said Gazuburo Kaiba " I can handle having two kids at my mansion."
" Alright Mr.Kaiba. Here are the adoption papers."
"Come on runts we have to go." Said Gazuburo Kaiba
Seto and Mokuba went upstairs and got their things and went back down without a word.
"Bye Kenage." Said Seto embracing her
"Bye Seto. I hope we see each other again." "Bye Mokuba."
"I want to adopt that girl Kenage."
"Here you go Mr.Ikasu."
"Lets go."
She followed him without a word still thinking about the days' events.
End of prologue
Hi I'm Kaiba-chan and this is my first fanfiction. So far I only have the prologue and chapter one finished. Please review so that I can make my fanfiction better. If you have a suggestion tell me what I should do. If you review please also add a number review 1-10 10 being the best. Below is the number rubric
10-Great 9-Good 8-Ok 7-Could be better (also tell me how) 6- In between 5- Not that bad 4- Needs a lot of work 3- Ugh! 2- BAD! 1- Horrible. Never write again.
On the street in front of an orphanage there were three children playing outside in the rain. Two boys and a girl. One of the boys was about ten and the other five, the girl looked about eight years old. A women was sticking her head out of the orphanages front door yelling at the kids to come in. They obeyed although reluctantly. The older boy leading the way as they walked up to the orphanage steps and inside the old building. "Come inside or you'll catch a cold. No one will adopt you if you are sick". "You have to go down to the main hall and up to your room to change then come down for supper." They all went in line up to the stairs then to the room they shared. The girl went through to the left side of the room and the boys went to the bathroom to change. The older boy was ready first wearing a cream dress shirt, a blue sweeter vest, and blue dress pants. The girl was wearing a blue dress shirt and turquoise pants. The youngest was wearing a turquoise shirt and blue pants. They all went downstairs and then to the dining room. They took their spots sitting down on the benches that were already crowded with twenty kids on each bench. The cook came into the dining room carrying platters of food. He didn't look happy because of having to cook for a hundred and twenty kids. The days menu was spinach and broccoli soup. Most of the kids ate because they were so hungry but Seto, Mokuba, and Kenage weren't hungry. Sometimes when the orphanage directors weren't looking they sneaked into town to work all the jobs they would hire kids to do. Sometimes people just gave them money, most of the time because Mokuba did such a good job of looking hungry people would feel sorry for them and give them money. Afterwards they would buy food and put it underneath their beds then eat at or after dinner when they were hungry. Today their food consisted of bread, water, and fruit but that was always better than eating the orphanage food so they waited until the end of dinner being served and went upstairs. Seto crawled under his bed and pulled out the food. They sat around the bed and ate as much as they could for the day the they put the rest of the food under the bed and went back downstairs. Dinner was almost over so they sat in their seats and waited until everyone was done eating. The people who wanted to adopt kids would be coming in five minutes so everyone had to clean up the orphanage. The youngest kids washed the windows and the others cleaned the floor or did the dishes. Mokuba was one of the youngest kids in the orphanage. The only person who was younger than him was Celia who was four. Seto and Kenage had floor duty which was the worst. It was assigned only to kids who weren't assistants pet's and were hated by the assistant or who got in trouble.(excluding pets) Seto and Kenage fell under both categories. The assistant hated them because they were smart and they did what they were supposed to. Sometimes the assistant would frame them or just make them do it. But today they had a plan to get revenge. They were going to put traps in the assistants and pets rooms so that they would scream and be scared. Traps were easy to make. Fake mice, snakes, red glue attached to the door along with a bucket of feathers, and of course Mokuba dressed up as a ghost and the intercom system with ghostly voices operated by Seto. Kenage had a different job. It was to make sure none of the kids that would tell someone or on them knew. They only told a handful of boys who hated the orphanage almost as much as they did and enjoyed seeing Seto and Mokuba play chess. Then the time came. All of the orphanage directors went to bed since none of the people who would adopt them were there yet so did the perfects. Mokuba went into the room, Kenage got all of the equipment, ready, and Seto started talking in a ghostly voice. Everything was going according to plan. All of their little traps got activated by Kenage and then the doorbell rang. The parents were here. All of the directors and perfects came down to greet them and the parents exploded with laughter. First the directors didn't know what they were laughing at. Then all the kids came downstairs with Seto, Kenage, and Mokuba in front. "I can't believe you were scared of a ten year old making voices, a five year old ghostly dressed, and a bunch of fake mice, snakes, red glue, and feathers." You did all of this? What do you expect of a ten year old genius, a practical eight year old, and a very adorable looking five year old". "All right now to business, we apologize but we had to get back at you for all of the things you did to us. First of all you punished us even if we did what you wanted us to which could be anything from cleaning out this whole place in fifteen minutes to eating nothing for a few days." Said Seto A bunch of whispers came from a group of parents. "Quiet everyone." Said one of the directors "Now is the time for adoption and adoption papers." "We want to adopt Seto Kaiba".(Sorry I don't know what his last name was before he got adopted. If you do tell me) Said most of the parents "There is one catch if you adopt me." said Seto "My brother Mokuba also has to be adopted alongside with me."
"I can't have two kids." said almost all of the parents accept for one
"I'll adopt them". said Gazuburo Kaiba " I can handle having two kids at my mansion."
" Alright Mr.Kaiba. Here are the adoption papers."
"Come on runts we have to go." Said Gazuburo Kaiba
Seto and Mokuba went upstairs and got their things and went back down without a word.
"Bye Kenage." Said Seto embracing her
"Bye Seto. I hope we see each other again." "Bye Mokuba."
"I want to adopt that girl Kenage."
"Here you go Mr.Ikasu."
"Lets go."
She followed him without a word still thinking about the days' events.
End of prologue
Hi I'm Kaiba-chan and this is my first fanfiction. So far I only have the prologue and chapter one finished. Please review so that I can make my fanfiction better. If you have a suggestion tell me what I should do. If you review please also add a number review 1-10 10 being the best. Below is the number rubric
10-Great 9-Good 8-Ok 7-Could be better (also tell me how) 6- In between 5- Not that bad 4- Needs a lot of work 3- Ugh! 2- BAD! 1- Horrible. Never write again.