A/N: Just meant to be a fun, silly little one-shot focusing on the team and their shock to the new situation at hand in S7. They have to find out some time, after all…so I figured it'd be a cute pick-me-up to keep us all occupied until David Shore & Co. resume the show.

However, please be warned: I have only ever written for the team once – and that was in a general fic in which they each had relatively few bits alone. That makes this my first time branching out from House, Wilson and Cuddy. So be nice as you judge, yes? I'm on uncharted waters here, regardless of my enthusiasm to try sailing.

Hope you like it, then, and please remember to leave a review when you're done.

The Debate
By: Zayz

The team was relaxing in the lounge when the news came.

The afternoon was young and the tests being run had time yet before the results could be coerced from the technicians. House was watching one of his soap operas and had asked – read: demanded – to be left alone until something relevant came up. As usual, this left House's fellows a pocket of time which they could spend as they pleased – and today, the activity of choice foosball.

Foreman lounged about reading the newspaper and occasionally glancing over at the progress of the game, but Thirteen played a vicious game against Taub and was in the process of beating him five-three. Eyes flicking to the score and Thirteen's cocky game-face, Taub took a brave shot from the goal and sent the tiny soccer ball rolling like a speeding boulder towards Thirteen's goal; and just as it fell into the small space and Taub grinned like a teenage sport hero, Chase entered the room.

His expression was strange, as though he was concentrating deeply on something. Foreman, as well as Taub and Thirteen (who decided to take a brief reprieve from their now five-four game), glanced up at him, curious.

"What's up?" Foreman was the first to speak.

"Pat just told me that House and Cuddy kissed in the lobby this morning."

The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them; the situation was so foreign and bizarre that Chase had no opener for the news he harbored. He collapsed on the couch across from Foreman, the creases between his eyebrows deepening as he considered his own revelation.

The announcement had mixed responses from the other team members: Thirteen smirked, seemingly on the edge of laughter; Foreman looked incredulous in a cynical sort of way; Taub's eyes were as wide as coins and his eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into his receding hairline with the depth of his astonishment.

"Really?" asked Taub. "House and Cuddy kissed? No. No way."

"I'm with Taub – no way would that ever happen," Foreman said, dismissive as ever. "Are you sure that's what Pat said?"

"Yes, it is," said Chase, slightly annoyed. "She told me during my lunch break."

The four of them pondered this one. Patricia George was one of the nurses assigned to the team's current patient and had a reputation for being Princeton Plainsboro's local authority on gossip – in Hollywood as well as among the hospital staff. And her information was usually pretty close to the truth.

"Well, I think she's wrong," Foreman finally announced. "House would never kiss Cuddy! It would involve him telling her that he likes her. Which – correct me if I'm wrong – he has worked most of his career to avoid."

"It's unlikely," allowed Chase. "But I don't know. Pat was pretty adamant."

"It's not that unlikely," Thirteen put in unexpectedly. "Think about it. They've known each other for years; they flirt with each other in front of us; Cuddy allows him pretty much free reign around here. If there's any person in this hospital House would be even remotely attracted to, it would be Cuddy."

"He smashed her toilet with a sledge-hammer," Taub said wryly. "Yup, that definitely spells out attraction to me."

Thirteen remained unfazed. "Do you really think House would go for a conventional gesture of affection?" she asked. "Even if he smashed her toilet, he did let her share his office last year."

"He also interrupted her phone calls and publicly insulted her," Foreman reminded her. "And she responded by dropping hydrogen peroxide on the office floor."

"That's basically the adult version of pulling on her pigtails and chasing her around the playground," said Thirteen matter-of-factly. "He has a thing for her. It wouldn't surprise me if they decided to try out a personal relationship."

"You weren't here when he tried to go for Stacy," said Foreman.

"God, that was a nightmare," Chase groaned, his head briefly going into his hands.

"What happened?" asked Taub.

"Oh, the usual," said Chase, making a face. "He would get manic and drive us crazy at the differentials. He answered his phone even less than usual. One night, he walked into the office singing."

"So what's your point?" asked Thirteen.

"The point is, we've seen House trying to chase women," said Chase. "And this thing with Cuddy doesn't fit with what we've seen. Both House and Cuddy are the same as they've ever been. We'd know if he was in a relationship with Cuddy – and it wouldn't be through Pat's gossip. Besides," he continued, suddenly remembering something, "a few months ago, when I was in the downstairs lounge, some private investigator told me he was dating Cuddy."

"A private investigator?" Foreman considered this. "Like the one he got for spying on Wilson?"

"House tried to spy on Wilson with a private investigator?" Chase's interest was instantly piqued.

"Yeah, right after Amber died and Wilson tried to leave," said Thirteen. "His name was Lucas, right?"

Now Taub's interest was piqued, something like comprehension dawning on his face.

"Wait," he said. "Wait…I have a friend on the nursing staff—"

"Of course you do," remarked Thirteen with a smirk.

"—and she told me something about that," Taub went on, ignoring her. "Lucas was dating Cuddy…and Hannah said he proposed to her last month."

"Last month?" Foreman looked astonished. "I never saw a ring."

"Are you sure Hannah would know?" asked Chase.

"I'm positive," said Taub, nodding. "Hannah's friends with him – she met him when she was trying to figure out if her ex-boyfriend was cheating on her."

"So, if Hannah was right, and Lucas proposed, why doesn't Cuddy have a ring?" asked Chase. "And why would Cuddy kiss House in the lobby – allegedly?"

"Maybe Cuddy said no," guessed Thirteen.

"Why, to date House?" Foreman snorted. "If she could let a relationship with Lucas get to the point of an engagement, why would she break it off for House?"

"I didn't say it was for House," said Thirteen.

"But if they did kiss in the lobby, then it would have to be because she said no to Lucas," said Foreman. "Because I have a hard time believing Cuddy would cheat on her husband for House."

"Stacy did," Chase pointed out.

"But Stacy and Cuddy are completely different people – and the circumstances were different," Foreman insisted. "Stacy and House had had a thing before, so it was…I don't know, closure for them. Cuddy has never had a personal relationship with House besides dealing with the crap he pulls at the hospital. So she really doesn't have much to cheat for."

"True," admitted Thirteen. "But maybe she did say no to Lucas. Like you said, Foreman, we haven't seen a ring. So then it all makes sense. She said no to Lucas and said yes to House. And that's why Pat saw them kissing in the lobby."

"That's if we're working under the assumption that Pat really did see them kissing in the lobby," said Foreman.

"So what assumption should we be working under?" asked Chase. "Either they kissed or they didn't. If they did, it's because she broke up with Lucas and they're both dating – which doesn't make sense because neither of them is acting any different. And if they didn't, Pat is an idiot and this whole conversation was a waste of time."

"They could just be acting," suggested Thirteen. "Maybe they are dating, but for reasons like…oh, I don't know, gossiping employees…they don't want anyone to know."

"No one's that good," said Foreman knowledgably. "We would know. House loves flaunting things in our faces."

"Some things," Thirteen corrected him.

"Either way, we'd know," insisted Foreman. "Nothing's going on between them. I'm pretty much sure of it."

"You know, you're right, Pat probably just got it wrong," said Chase at last. "House and Cuddy would never be in a relationship. I mean, they're always sniping at each other. And she's his boss."

"Oh, of course," said Thirteen with mock-seriousness. "House always upholds social boundary lines and would never dream of dating someone off-limits."

Chase threw her a look. "I'm serious," he said. "Even if he doesn't care, she would. She's the Dean of Medicine!"

"I thought love knew no bounds," Thirteen teased back.

"Maybe love doesn't," said Chase. "But Cuddy does. She would never let it get that far. Insane medical procedures…fine. She can justify those often enough. But a relationship? That's way too risky. Plus, she's got a kid – and you can't tell me House is good father material."

"I'd pay to watch House baby-sit her," agreed Taub with a snort.

"I still don't think it's outside the realm of possibility, but whatever floats your boat," said Thirteen. Then she checked her watch and stood up.

"I think the lab results should be in now," she said. "I'm going to go find out. Feel free to speculate amongst yourselves – about the case or otherwise."

She smirked on her way out. The three remaining doctors exchanged glances with one another, indeed looking quite speculative.

"So the consensus is that Pat is wrong?" Chase double-checked.

"Definitely," said Foreman with a nod, standing as well. "Dating House is the last thing Cuddy would ever do. So she would never kiss him."

"You're probably right," said Taub. "Anyway, I think I'm going to go check on my test results too. I'm sure House will page us any minute asking us where they are."

Then Taub left the room, leaving only Chase and Foreman sitting in the lounge. They, too, exchanged glances before simultaneously getting up and leaving without another word.

Late that night, once almost all the doctors had left and the night-shift nurses were bustling about the patient rooms, Cuddy appeared at House's office door to find him talking rather animatedly to Patricia George, one of the nurses. Both of them were grinning and both of them turned when they heard her knock on the glass door.

"Hello Dr. Cuddy," said Pat, her smile mischievous and sly. "How are you?"

"Yes, how are you, Dr. Cuddy?" House inquired, mock-seriously. "Had a good day wiping runny noses and attending budget meetings?"

She grimaced at House, but told Pat, "I'm fine, thank you."

"Glad to hear it." Looking as though she might burst with giggles, Pat scurried out of the office and closed the door behind her, leaving House and Cuddy alone. Immediately, Cuddy's eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"With what?" House's eyes widened, his bright-blue irises the epitome of innocence.

"With that nurse," she said. "You're not usually in the habit of talking to them, unless you're flirting with them."

"I'm insulted," House announced. "And that nurse has a name, you know."

"Oh?" She couldn't help raising her eyebrows at this one.

"Her name is Pat," he informed her.

"Well, I'm glad you had such a nice talk with Pat," said Cuddy. "But the reason I came in was to ask you if you wanted to grab dinner or something. I convinced my baby-sitter to cover for me until eleven."

"We can do that," he said. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't care."

"So if I took you to a bar, you wouldn't care?" House smirked.

"No, I wouldn't," Cuddy retorted, even though she would.

"Fine," he said. "Then let's go to a bar. I know a good one. All the strippers go there."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, but she couldn't hide her smile. "Okay, okay," she said. "I give up. I want to go to that new Italian place on 67th Street. Do you mind?"

"A little," he admitted.

"Too bad," she said. "We'll go to the stripper-bar next time."

Now House smiled, and said, "I'm probably going to hold you to that."

"I would be insulted if you didn't." She smirked at him and the two of them left the office together. They didn't hold hands, but they stood close, bantering and smiling as though they had a secret. Who was to know that they did? The doctors were gone; the nurses had too much else to worry about. In all the ways that mattered, they were walking through an empty hospital.

But as they entered the parking lot, and House handed her his extra motorcycle helmet, Cuddy paused and said, "You still haven't told me what you and the nurse were talking about earlier."

"Who, Pat?"

"Yes," said Cuddy. "Pat. What was so funny?"

House grinned; he had been expecting this.

"Well," he said, strapping on his helmet and sitting on the bike. "As you are by now aware, we are in a relationship."

"I am indeed aware of this," Cuddy said, her face perfectly serious.

"And as you are also aware, my team is comprised of four overly-curious children who gossip about everything," he said.

Cuddy smirked. "I'll take your word for it."

"I bribed Pat to perform a particular service for me," said House. "She was telling me how it went."

"Am I allowed to know what she did?"

He couldn't contain himself. Like an eight-year-old bursting to talk about a surprise party, he told her, "I asked her to tell Chase that you and I kissed in the lobby. Then I asked her to tail the team so she could hear their speculations."

Despite having dated House for a month and knowing him for more than twenty years, Cuddy actually found herself surprised.

"Why?" she asked before she could stop herself.

House seemed to be enjoying her astonishment. "Because I wanted to know how my team felt about the possibility of us dating," he said simply.

She shot him a look, half exasperated and half amazed.

"And what was the result?" she asked, strapping on her own helmet and sitting behind him as he turned the key, the engine roaring to life. "How did they feel about it?"

"Everyone except Thirteen thought it was impossible." The humor was more than audible behind his bemused tone. "We weren't acting any different and you knew better than to get involved with me."

A smile played about the corners of Cuddy's mouth as House began to take the bike out of the parking spot.

"So I'm guessing you're not going to tell them any time soon," she said.

"Obviously not," agreed House. "They think I insult their intelligence enough during differentials."

And with this, he put his foot to the accelerator, speeding out of the hospital parking lot and onto the road, where the whipping wind and the other vehicles drowned out her laughter.

A/N: See? Just fun and silly. Maybe a little OOC in the second half, but whatever. I enjoyed writing it anyway. Hopefully you enjoyed reading it.

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