Changing or Staying?

I'm changing.

Changing my mind, that is.

If one can call it 'changing a mind.'

Or, actually, I'm staying, the same I mean.

Every one else is moving on, making something of their lives'.

I'm staying.

My mind is changing, but I'm staying.

I'm also staying at Kurama's house.

Or is it Yusuke's?

Botan's?

Genkai's?

The oaf's?

I don't remember.

I do know that wherever I'm staying, it has good liquor.

Very good liquor.

One reason why I'm staying but changing.

I have a very good alcohol tolerance; I would have to drink two bars dry to get tipsy.

Take that, Atsuko Urameshi.

But, if you had met me a year ago, I would have told you that I refused to drink.

Now, I do.

Everyday, for that matter.

I am rarely seen without a bottle in my hand.

Doesn't matter what the drink is; I woke up once to see that I was clutching a red wine bottle to my chest.

I never liked wine.

At the moment, good old sake.

I take another drink, the sour taste burning slightly, but it dulls... everything.

I don't even know what I am trying to dull anymore.

It started, for some reason, I know.

But do I want it to end?

Probably not.

I look around, slightly realizing that I am on the floor, the side of my head resting on the table.

Another drink.

I think of my... 'friends.'

They have changed, for the best, I think.

Yusuke and Kayko have married, finally.

They are expecting their first child... whenever.

Kurama still lives with Shiori, still is single, and still is a smart-ass.

The oaf is engaged to Yukina.

I'm not so happy about that, but I want her to be happy.

Another drink.

Genkai has opened a school, fighting of course.

Botan is also engaged, to Koenma.

I wasn't the only one who was surprised when they announced it.

Or maybe it was the beer...?

I don't remember.

I do that a lot, not remembering.

But, remembering isn't important, right?

Another drink.

I am certain I am in Yusuke's house now; no one in all of Tokyo has this much liquor.

At the moment, Atsuko and me have a lot in common.

I salute her; that human also has a good alcohol tolerance.

See I am changing.

Saluting a human. Ha!

That's a good laugh...

But, I'm still staying.

Another drink.

I would like to move on.

But I can't.

For some one as fast as me not moving on and watching everything else fly by, is sad.

Very sad.

And it is here when my 'host' opens the door.

Botan?

Well, she has very good taste in liquor; I'll give her that.

Another drink.

She rushes over, blue hair whipping about.

"Hiei, I told you not to drink!"

I look at her quizzically, shaking that bottle of sake in my hands.

"You did?"

She seems surprised that I am coherent.

I feel the same way.

"Why do you do this?"

Another drink.

Botan kneels besides me, pink eyes worried.

I turned away, looking straight into the wood of the table.

What a pretty sight.

"Why do you drink? You drink more then Atsuko!"

"I know. Me and her just happen to like sake."

"She likes sake; you live off of it. See the difference?"

"No, not really."

Another drink.

She sighs, and reaches out to take the bottle away.

I don't struggle.

Botan lifts it up to her nose and takes a whiff.

Her lip curls in distaste as she gets up to pour the sake out.

Foolish, she knows I always get more.

She comes back, this time with a towel.

"Why d'you got that... thing...?"

"Can't remember what it's called? It's a towel, Hiei. And I'm going to use it to cover you up."

I frowned.

"Am I that embarrassing?"

Botan smiled, the first time I have seen her do so since her engagement.

"Look down, wise guy."

I do so and find that I am in what humans call 'boxers'.

Plaid green ones.

Wow.

I probably got them from Yusuke.

"They're not that bad," I argue, not moving from my spot on the kitchen room floor.

My head's still on the table.

With grace I never thought that she had, she wrapped the 'towel' around my waist.

She knelt down beside me once more.

"Are you drunk?"

I look away from the... interesting wood and scowl.

"Do I sound drunk?"

"No. But you demons are hard to figure out."

I nod, crimson eyes drooping slightly.

"Where do you think we go today," Botan said as she shook me slightly.

"I don't know. Where?"

"Kayko's baby shower! Don't tell me you forgot?"

I probably did.

"Can't you see that I have a hangover, Botan? I can go next week. Or next year, which ever comes first."

Now she frowned.

"You have a hangover, yet you drank half a bottle of sake!"

"Yeah."

Man, I sounded proud.

Was I?

She slapped me.

Hard.

My head rammed into the table and I slumped to the floor with a loud thud.

Was there blood?

Oh, yeah.

"I can't believe you," Botan whispered darkly as she helped me up.

I was slightly aware of the red liquid dripping down my temple.

"Can't believe what?"

She sighed, leaving me once more to go get something to wipe the blood away.

I think it was one of the first times she caused pain on someone.

Or blood at least.

Botan came back, with a light blue wash cloth and the frown still on her face.

"I can't believe that you do this to yourself. All you do these days is drink; even Atsuko did more then that."

I sighed as she dabbed the wound at my temple, not too gently.

"For some reason, Botan, I highly doubt that."

And at that statement, she made sure to give me a hard jab in the head, or more accurately, on the wound.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!"

"For acting like a jackass. Get ready, we'll be leaving in ten minutes."

Botan stood up, scowl still in place as she moved towards her bedchamber to get ready.

I stayed where I was, on the tiled floor of the kitchen, reeking of alcohol and slightly bleeding.

"Can't I wear this to the... baby shower thing? Yusuke's worn worse."

She smiled slightly before shaking her head.

"No."

That's not new, I get denied a lot these days.

At least that's not changing.