A/N: Please don't ask.
I'm just going to start by saying that I'm a fangirl.
I know that most people wouldn't expect it of me: Hermione Granger, Miss Bossy-Stuck-Up-Know-It-All, but I am more of a fangirl than anyone else I know.
Even at the somewhat-mature age of 23, I still have my (huge) obsessions with…well, you name it, I either write fanfics, cosplay, or have a very strong opinion on it.
But the thing that usually ends up with me in a coma from squealing?
Yaoi.
And not just any yaoi, either. I just so happen to ship my best friend with his worst enemy.
Yes. I, Hermione Granger, ship Drarry. Well, at least Harry's gay!
It was a normal Friday evening. I was in the middle of typing a new chapter for my latest fanfic (yes, I'm on , and yes, I had a mental breakdown when I found out I was "fictional." So what.) when my husband George walked in.
"Hey babe!" he said cheerfully, jogging over to give me a kiss. I grinned and kissed back. "How was your day, sweetie?"
"It was absolutely positively suckish! Although Harry did sell a couple of those old swamps…and we got a new employee!" George grabbed a bottle of butterbeer from the fridge.
"Really?" I air-clapped. "Who is it?"
He smirked and twisted off the lid. "Guess," he said, taking a long swig.
"No," I countered. "Tell me."
"Guess."
"Tell me!"
"Guess!"
"Tellll meeee!" I begged, pulling on his arm. He laughed. "Okay, whiner." I fist-pumped. "It's…Draco Malfoy."
A pause. "What?" I said breathlessly.
"Malfoy is Harry's new assistant…" he said, looking at me a bit strangely.
"Oh my God." I sank down into my chair, placing a hand over my mouth. "Oh…my…God."
"Babe? Are…are you okay?" I faintly heard. I nodded slowly. This was so amazing. This was better than any of my stories. This was…destiny. I jumped up, flew across the kitchen, tackling George. I knocked him over, and then jumped back up, squealing and bouncing on my toes.
"OW! Hermione! What the hell?" George yelled.
"THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!" I squealed. George sat on the floor awkwardly as I sprinted into the street, ran around in circles, and Apparated to Harry's house.
"Harryyyyyyy!" I screamed, appearing in his living room. I prayed he was at home, and strode into the kitchen, where he was sure to be. Luckily for me, he was.
"Hi, Mione! How—uh…" Harry stared at me, confused. I assumed it was because of my manic smile. I didn't let that deter me, and pulled him back into the living room. I made him sit down on the couch, and grabbed both of his hands. "So…how's Draco?
Harry sputtered. "Wh-what?"
I giggled. "Draco? Malfoy? Ex-prince of Slytherin? Your new coworker? How is he doing?"
Harry stared at me, confused. "Uh…he's fine, I guess…?"
I rolled my eyes. Men could be so stupid! "Yeah, but how is he in life? Is he living nearby? Is he happy? Is he married?"
"Hermione Jean! How am I supposed to know all this?" He crossed his arms. "I've only spoken to the man once after five years."
"Oh. Sorry," I said, feeling slightly dejected.
"But…" Harry said, grinning devilishly.
I perked up automatically. "But what?"
"I guess he's not married, because we're meeting for dinner tomorrow night!"
"OH MY FRUKING GOD REALLY?" I squealed. (Yes, Hetalia ships were necessary.)
"No," he said with a perfectly straight face. Actually, there was a furrowed brow there… "Hermione Jean Weasley, in case you haven't noticed, I have been dating Ron for the past six months."
My mouth dropped all the way open. I had never noticed. I had been too busy shipping Drarry to notice that my two best friends were in love…and now that I thought about it…THEY WERE ADORABLE TOGETHER!
"Harry, I'm so sorry I didn't notice, now I have to go write because I am mentally dying!" I said quickly, running to his fireplace to take the Floo.
When I arrived at home, I saw George lying on the ground shivering. I looked up and saw my open laptop with my latest lemon open. Crap. Now how was I going to write?! I have to worry about my husband. I sighed. Oh, to be a fangirl.