Forever Is a Long Time – by Darlin
A/N – Another old story I tweaked a bit. I started this one in June 2004 and reworked it in 2006, kind of explaining why Ororo did what she did back then. Also, Nienna if you read this please excuse the mistakes, unless they're glaring. I'm just trying to get all my stories up without having to do a lot of editing.
Disclaimer – I don't own or profit from writing X-Men stories. As always just having fun.
-xox-
"I'm tired of telling you not to smoke in the house, Logan!" Jean said with some irritation as she snatched Logan's cigar out of his mouth.
"Hey! I just walked in the flamin' door! Ya didn't even give me a chance to put it out!" Logan snapped back and threw a glare at both Jean and Ororo, the latter who was trying not to laugh.
"You know the rules – that's what the ashtrays outside are for. It's a horrible example for impressionable kids, Logan. You know that. Please don't tell me I'm going to be treating you like a little boy forever! You're supposed to know better than . . ."
"Forever's a real long time, Jeannie," Logan interrupted her and then he scooped the miffed red head into his arms, dipped her as if they were tangoing and laid a hot and heavy kiss on her. Any amusement that Ororo felt was quickly turned into irritation and she left them to their antics, wondering all the while just what was it with him and Jean? Jean was getting married and Logan still had to flirt. It was as if he had no respect for Scott at all and Ororo knew that wasn't quite true.
All Ororo cared about was that everyone should try to get along and respect each other. She wanted Scott to be happy, Jean to be content and she wanted Logan to settle down. She laughed. Logan settling down wasn't something she could picture.
"What's so funny darlin'?" Logan asked as he sauntered into the kitchen, cigar still stuffed between his lips.
"I thought she was actually going to win that one for a moment."
"Who, Jeanie? Not in a million years. I know exactly how to handle her."
"So I saw."
Logan looked at Ororo curiously. She was obviously upset. He didn't like seeing her that way.
"You all right, Ro?"
"I'm fine. Excuse me," she said and headed for the door.
Ororo wasn't in the mood to put up with Logan's cocky bragging and she wasn't in the mood to put up with Jean's odd behavior. It just didn't sit well with Ororo for the two of them to be carrying on while Scott was acting peculiar around Emma. Her instincts, biased as they were towards Emma, told her something was wrong and Logan flirting with Jean surely couldn't help matters.
"So, you wanna tell me what's goin' on?" Logan asked as he trotted up behind Ororo.
"There is nothing to tell that you don't already know, Logan."
"So that's it, you disapprove of me kissin' Mrs. Summers, eh?" he asked then laughed.
He dismissed the look that she gave him and put an arm around her waist. She stopped mid stride and looked at him as if he'd lost his mind.
"You know she would've lectured me from now till midnight. It's the only way I know ta shut her up but if it'll make you feel any better I'm willin' ta share my favors."
Ororo removed his arm. "You might want to remember who you're talking to, Logan," she said and turned to go upstairs.
"Oh, how could I forget who I was talkin' to? The sun rises an' sets with you," he said as he followed her up.
"What did you just say?"
"You heard me."
Ororo rolled her eyes and continued determinedly up the steps.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Logan yelled. He caught her by the arm then jaunted past her so that he was blocking her path.
Standing a step above Ororo he was now eye level with her. Ororo was in no mood to play games. She didn't mind his teasing most of the time but now was not the time. When he grinned and took her into his arms she balked and shoved him back.
"I do not feel like tasting Jean," she said and quickly slipped past him.
Logan watched her run all the way up the stairs. He didn't like it when Ororo acted strange like that. It was almost as if she were jealous. Almost. He knew she would never be jealous of Jean. He couldn't see why she'd ever be jealous of any one actually. He wasn't kidding when he'd said the sun rose and set with her. She was like a breath of fresh air and when she made an entrance you always perked up. You were happier in her presence and when she left it was like darkness setting in.
"Maybe that stogie got to my brain! I'm thinkin' too much," he muttered to the empty house.
With a deep sigh Ororo reluctantly closed her bedroom door. She'd rather face Logan than Jean when Jean was in a mood but there was Jean, sitting on the window seat, clutching her knees to her chest. She seemed as if she was almost as agitated as Ororo was.
"Ororo, can we talk?"
"I suppose," Ororo replied although she really hoped Jean would notice her reluctance and choose another day for a conversation Ororo didn't want to have.
"That man is so infuriating. He rejects me and then he's kissing me months later."
"He did it to make you shut up," Ororo offered happily.
Jean sighed. "I know but when he kisses me it always makes me think about what might have been and how things are so messed up now – with Scott and . . . He's such a good kisser – Logan – isn't he?"
Ororo couldn't deny it.
"Sometimes I wish we'd never come back," Jean whispered.
"Because of Emma?" Ororo asked.
"Yes."
"I'm sure you and Scott will work things out, Jean."
"I don't know, Ororo. Things aren't the same between us any more."
There was no hope in Jean's voice. She sounded small and forlorn as if she were a scared child rather than one of the most powerful telepaths in the world. Ororo wished Logan hadn't sent Jean down this path of reflection and misery. It never made for a good evening. In fact, Ororo was glad she was just visiting for a few days before leaving on her next mission with the team she'd assembled a few years ago. Life at the mansion was too much of a soap opera of late and she hated soaps.
"There's no reason you and Scott can't work things out," Ororo said though her she wasn't confident of that.
"You don't believe that any more than I do or Emma or Logan do for that matter, Ororo."
"I don't know what Logan thinks but I think you should get your mind off him and concentrate on your husband."
"You think Scott might be jealous?"
"No – look, Jean, I don't know what he feels or thinks. I don't know what to tell you, Jean except what I've told you before – perhaps seeing a marriage counselor would help."
Again Jean sighed. She fell back onto the many pillows on the window seat. For a brief second her face was grim but then a wide smile spread across her face. "That man sure knows how to kiss."
Ororo closed her eyes, sighed then turned and left. She hoped she wouldn't have to run into any of the X-Men or students and since this was a weekend with most everyone in town she was guessing she had a pretty good chance. A few minutes later when she'd made it safely to her green house she let out a another sigh but one of relief this time.
The green trees and beautiful plants with their fragrant scents immediately eased her tension. Here was an oasis where there were no troubles. Here she was free and safe. And for a short minute she almost believed that. As she tread the winding gravel path to a small seating area by a gently gurgling fountain she was alarmed to see that Logan had beat her to her oasis.
"What are you doing here?" Ororo asked.
Logan, sitting on her lone wicker loveseat, grinned. Always the same exasperating grin, she thought.
"Sit down with me," he suggested.
Ororo stood above him, arms akimbo, shaking her head, not inclined to put up with his teasing.
"I just wanted to be alone for awhile," she said softly.
"Why? You've been alone most of your life even when you're with us, 'Roro."
Ororo was taken aback by his bluntness.
"Sit with me, darlin', we need ta talk."
"I'm not in the mood for talking, Logan."
"Neither am I," he said and leaning forward he pulled her down beside him.
Usually it was pleasant sitting beside her friend of so many years. With Logan she could always be herself. There was no need for words, no need for actions. He enjoyed sitting in the quiet humid greenery with only the sound of the small fountain pouring into the little pond as much as she did. Now he looked to be as relaxed as she'd felt a moment ago so she became less defensive. As time wore on she found herself relaxing. She finally closed her eyes and smiled. She felt just how she'd wanted to feel there in her little oasis, away from all worries. That is until he kissed her.
Stunned, she pulled back but he followed her and despite Ororo's desire not to kiss him she found herself giving in. He was indeed an excellent kisser. And he smelled good too, like a man should – fresh, clean and yet totally manly. She liked that about him. She liked the feel of his hands on her back and in her hair. She loved the way he nibbled at her lip then kissed her nose when he finished assaulting her lips.
"You sure know your stuff," he whispered.
"My stuff?"
"How to . . . well, kiss an' get a man worked up."
"And you are worked up?"
"Just like you," he said with a smile.
She leaned back against the cushions and slowed her breathing, intentionally trying not to make his words truths, and then she laughed. He did indeed speak the truth and she couldn't deny it. Why on this green earth did Logan have that affect on women? It just wasn't fair.
He watched her, enjoyed her smile and laughter, knowing she couldn't deny it.
"Bet you didn't taste Jean on me, eh?"
Ororo sat up and glared at him.
"Okay, maybe that wasn't the right thing ta say," he admitted as he pushed her back, afraid she might leave.
"I wish you'd leave Jean and Scott alone."
"No problemo, I ain't interested in Jeanie."
"Good," she said as he hovered closer to her than she cared for.
There wasn't much to say when he kissed her chin and then kissed her nose and then her forehead.
"Why is it we never got together?" he asked before he kissed her lips again.
His kiss was deep, deeper than before and it left her feeling a sense of longing. It was easy to wrap her arms around him and loose herself for a few seconds – minutes – there in his arms.
"Guess I never had the courage to go after what I wanted," he said, answering his own question.
"You can't be serious, Logan!"
He shrugged. "A guy like me an' a woman like you? You're sophistication itself. I'm lucky I got ya as a friend."
"That you can just kiss when ever you choose."
"Yep, it's got its perks," he said as he raked his hands down both her arms in long smooth light touches sending shivers down her spine. He kissed her throat then returned to her lips.
"You're too good," Logan said and she opened her eyes, surprised.
"Too good at what? Kissing?"
"Yeah, whatever," he mumbled.
He hadn't meant that at all. She was too good for the likes of him. He couldn't explain how she got to him like no one ever had before. He couldn't tell her he was afraid of her, that if he gave into his feelings for her he was afraid she would never return his feelings. How could she?
"I think that's enough," Ororo said as she collected herself "What did you think you were doing anyway?"
"Don't know. Didn't you like it?"
She gave a sigh of frustration. Like it? Was he crazy? She loved it. She could have stayed there all night with him just kissing. It wasn't like there was a line of men waiting to date her much less inundate her with kisses so hot she felt like she might explode. But she didn't get a chance to answer. Instead she jumped in her seat when she heard a sharp piercing voice calling her.
"Ororo, are you in here?"
It was Jean. Logan moved away from Ororo which she noticed angerily. He obviously didn't want his lovely red head to know he'd just been making out with her!
"Oh!" Jean exclaimed when she saw the pair. "What're you two doing?"
"Making out," Ororo offered.
The explosion of laughter surprised Ororo. It was as if Jean thought Logan couldn't possibly be interested in plain, mousy Ororo and that stunned her.
"I was trying to get her into bed," Logan added easily as he threw an arm around Ororo. "Can you give us some privacy?"
Shock and disbelief washed over Jean's pretty face and now it was Logan and Ororo's turn to laugh.
"Oh, you're just teasing me!" Jean said as she laughed again.
"Not really," Logan said.
Ororo looked at him, surprised.
"So what are you guys going to do tonight? Any plans? Oh, I know, there's this new Trivia Pursuit that's out and I'm dying to play it. How 'bout it?"
"I don't do board games and you know it. No one does board games anymore," Logan said.
"Not even if Ororo asks nicely?" Jean said with a pout that she thought was attractive though it was more childish than anything.
"You wanna play trivia games with me?" Logan asked Ororo and yanked her up as he got up. "Good, catch ya later, Red."
Ororo looked back to see Jean standing there looking confused. She couldn't help chuckling. She actually wished Logan would try to take her to bed. Of course what you wish for seldom comes true. He gave her another deep kiss when he dropped her hand once they were inside the school. And he kissed her again for a long moment until they heard someone at the door and then he took her by the hand and led her out of the foyer and into the first office he came to, the professor's.
"I said we needed to talk," he told her once he had her in his lap after sitting down on a large leather couch.
"I'm all ears," Ororo said and giggled.
Logan nodded. She smiled down at him and this time she took the initiative and kissed him. Logan wanted her and without thinking he picked her up, laid her on the couch and got on top of her. They kissed like teenagers afraid of being caught but hormones totally out of control. They heard voices out in the hall but neither of them paid any attention. And then the door opened and a light came on.
"Oh my . . . ! Oh my . . . I . . . I . . . I was just looking for you, Ororo. I wanted to talk. I . . . you're busy . . . I mean . . . uh . . . so I'll . . . I'll just go. I'm so sorry," Jean stammered. She stared at the two for a moment longer and then turned and ran out.
"Excuse us," Charles, who had been behind Jean, murmured. He gave a knowing nod and a pleased smile.
"That was unexpected," Ororo noted.
"Yep."
"They kind of ruined the . . . um, moment," Ororo said, testing the waters. Would he leave now?
"I guess I'm gonna hit the sack early," Logan found himself saying. It was the last thing he was wanted to do, the last thing he was thinking, but the interruption was a cold smack of reality hitting him hard in the face. What he wanted to do to Ororo he had no right to do. Ororo deserved a prince, a king, someone who could give her the world.
"I guess I will too," Ororo said, hurt.
"Alone?" he asked, out of the blue.
"The same every night."
"Shame."
"Yours or mine?"
He chuckled. "Mine. Yours. Both of ours," he said as he moved off of her and stood up.
"Chicken," she whispered knowing he would hear her. It did no good. That night she spent another lonely night in her room.
Many months passed. Jean died. Logan raged. Gone again. But like the Phoenix that she'd embodied before would she rise again? Neither Logan nor Ororo knew of course. They could only mourn her passing, a tiny ray of hope in the back of their minds. She'd come back before, perhaps she would return again. But how many lives did a Phoenix have?
Missed chances and the smell of death weighed heavily on Logan's mind. Xavier was acting so out of character that Logan was seriously angry with the man. Scott was already sleeping with Emma. Logan wanted to rip out his guts and spoon feed them to Emma before he gutted her too. He and Ororo were dating but he never could bring himself to tell her how he felt. Ultimately he felt impotent and that impotence fueled his anger.
"There was a time when I thought everything wonderful in my life had ended," Ororo said, placing a hand on his shoulder as they stood in front of Jean's memorial.
He took her hand, held it a moment, and then led her down to the lake, away from the noise of the school.
"When haven't we all thought that?" he said as they walked.
"That's just it. We have all felt the depths of pain and wretchedness only to rise above it . . . like a Phoenix in all it's regal splendor. This too shall pass as they say."
"It ain't even that she's gone that's eatin' at me."
Ororo didn't ask him to elaborate and he was glad she didn't. They stood in the growing dusk. The lake occasionally rippling as a fish skimmed close to the surface.
"Ororo, I . . ." Logan's words trailed off and he shook his head.
"What were you going to say?"
"I-I love . . ." he stopped. He couldn't tell her he loved her. He couldn't take that risk and so he shook his head like a coward.
"I loved her too," Ororo said.
"I loved her, Ro but I didn't love her, least not like everyone thought."
"We were the best of friends. I should have been there for her. Instead I avoided her and dismissed her as if she were a little child. I gave her paltry advice and was irritated when she didn't take it."
"You did what you could. I just messed with her, gettin' on her nerves for the fun of it."
"She didn't mind half as much as you think. She probably loved you in her own way."
"Don't matter. It never really did after . . . well, she just wasn't the one."
"She wasn't for Scott either," Ororo said.
"Asshole."
"I suppose he can't help being a man."
"And what's that supposed to mean? Men are pigs? Think with their pricks instead of with their heads?"
"You said that, Logan not me."
"You think we don't feel and love like you women?"
"Do you? You seem to enjoy flirting more than anything, taking nothing serious – not realizing the hurt feelings you've caused."
"I never hurt Jean. Maybe got on her last nerve but . . ."
"What about me? Or any of the women you've been with and never stayed with?"
"Huh? What're you talkin' about? I never hurt you!"
"How would you even know? Did you think to ask? Did you think your kisses would mean nothing to me? Do you think I am as simple and careless as Jean was?"
The anger and hurt in Ororo's voice made Logan shudder. The weight of his guilt with Jean was nothing compared to this. He'd never tried to hurt Ororo – of all people he would never dream of hurting her.
"I never did anything to hurt you intentionally, Ro."
"I-I know you didn't and maybe that's why I'm angry. You never took the time to do anything to me. We go out, we have fun, we kiss but that's all."
"What're we talkin' about here?"
"Nothing."
"I can't know what you're talkin' about if you don't help me out a little. You just said I didn't ever ask, well now I'm askin'. What did I do that hurt you and what can I do ta fix it?"
"You could make love to me."
"W-wh . . . you serious?"
"And hold me and never leave me," she said in a voice so little that it sounded as if another person had spoken.
"Here?" he asked and he couldn't help but grin.
"Forever?"
He sighed. He knew she didn't mean it. She thought she did and she would hold out, she'd be with him for a while, maybe even more than a few years but he knew she wouldn't stick around for good. Forever was a very long time.
Ororo sighed. Of course she'd been foolish to ask such a thing, flat out proposing practically! She'd known his answer even as she'd asked. It was absurd to expect him to want to be with her and especially to want him to stay with her forever. Forever was a very long time.
As she left him he reached for her. He longed for her. He wanted to hold her and make love to her. Forever sounded so good to him. He almost stopped her. But instead he looked up at the night sky. There was only a sprinkling of bright stars out. He thought he could spot Mars. He wished Ororo would have stayed. He wished he could have finally found the courage to tell her how he felt. He wanted to offer her the world.
He wished he didn't love her. It would've been easy to promise her forever if he hadn't. It would've been easy for him to whisk her off to bed, a flirtation with benefits. Easy if he didn't love her the way he did. Easy if he could have been able to bear the thought of her leaving him because he knew in his heart that she would have left him eventually. Why would she have stayed? He knew he wasn't good enough for her and he knew he wouldn't be able to handle losing her so he never chanced it.
Not too long after that Ororo chose to stay in Africa after a mission there. A month after that she married a king, promising to love him forever. And though that hurt him he put on an act, told her he was happy for her. And Logan knew Ororo would keep her vows because she'd finally found a man worthy of her.
~ Finis ~
A/N – Ha ha ha ha ha! We all know how that ended but then I wrote this ages ago – lol! Yes, sucky ending but that was my 2006 mood and though I thought to change the ending I decided not to.