A/N: Just a small idea that came to mind; not one of my best by far. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to Love Live! School Idol Project
The Divide
When she smiles at you, you cannot stop yourself from smiling back.
There are few things in this pane of existence that you enjoy, and sometimes you cannot help but wonder what it would be like if you could stretch out a hand to her more often. Perhaps it is the lead you feel in your feet when she stares directly into your eyes, or maybe it is because you wait for her to extend to you first.
When she reaches out for you, you make sure to reciprocate without a word.
Your knees are weak at the sight of her hand, but you stand firm because she does. She cannot know that you are weak when you are all she has.
No one knows her better than you do. You have always been close to her, and she vents to you whenever she is frustrated or feeling at her worst. It has never been easy for you to understand how she could sob so much when you know how brilliant she can be.
When she cries, you cry.
There are days when she looks at you with nothing short of disgust. It upsets you, but there is nothing much you can do, and in these moments you begin to wonder whether or not she will ever like you at all.
Who would dare let such a wonderful girl feel this way?
You want to hug her when no one else will, but she can barely be near you for more than a minute when she feels like this. Asking questions is something you could never bring yourself to do, and you can only hope that she opens up eventually. There is no one that she can trust more than you, after all, and you are a perfect listener.
It is a shame that she has hurt you before, sometimes shattering you in a way that only ends up causing her more pain. On occasion, she will try to help, and you both end up fixing the cracks together. But, most times, you both end up walking away.
However, that is okay. You know you will see her again, even if she does not want to see you.
She is never sure of herself. You can see it in the way that she covers her chest or in the way her hands become restless when she is nervous, and her habits rub off on you easily. She paces, telling herself that she is better than "this" – whatever "this" may be – and you agree wholeheartedly as you pace alongside her. She is indeed enough for this amazing stage of a life, no doubt about it.
She is what you cherish in the light and miss in the dark.
Being girly is not so bad. It is only with her that you enjoy shopping for clothes or trying on make-up; you would never do any of these things by yourself. Getting ready together is always fun, and sometimes you feel as though you live most for these moments with her. It is strange to see her transform from beauty to radiance with the aid of some accessories or cosmetics, but you are glad that you can watch it happen and that you can experience it together. But these are only rare snapshots of what should be.
Perhaps the bigger picture will develop one day when she finds something, perhaps someone, worth smiling for.
You know you are not enough – not yet.
The way that she strikes her signature pose is adorable, and you like to encourage her by imitating the way her hands raise and the way her excitement pours through her movement. She works on it every day, and you are unsure if you could ever fathom the existence of anyone more ambitious than her.
She really is a super idol, whether anyone else believes it or not.
At night, you can do nothing but think about how parallel she can be to you and the darkness that seeps into her mind, and it hurts you to think that she can be so toxic toward herself. The side of her that you see is the part of her that no one else has witnessed, and every so often you debate whether you are the lucky one or not. It is exhausting to watch her insecurities eat her away, and sometimes you are left wondering if there will ever be a day where you will never see her again.
The mere thought of that being a possibility is horrifying.
But she is better than that. She may hate everything around her, including herself, but there is an unbridled passion within her that cannot be mirrored so easily. When you share a smile with her, you know that hope exists for the both of you. There are better days to come, boundaries to break, and leaps to take.
You sigh as she does, knowing that there are days where she can look at you without disdain, and you yearn for the day that she loves you the way that you love her.
Each time you reach out to her, you pray that the glass will break.
But this is the curse of a silent reflection.