A/N: was seriously going to update Sideshow but I got distracted by tumblr when someone mentioned something about fail sex and I… had to. Title from the Postal Service song… but don't read too much into it.
Warnings: smut, language, humor
Pairing: 2x3
The flight was delayed for another hour.
Which was fine, Duo assured himself as he crunched down on the last potato chip from the way too expensive, stupidly tiny bag he had purchased an hour ago and doled out to himself over that same amount of time.
Perfectly fine.
It wasn't like he had anywhere to be.
Wasn't like he was flying across the country for a job interview.
Wasn't like he needed to be there on time.
He forced himself to relax, forced his knee to stop bouncing and he drew in a deep breath and made himself stop glaring at the flight attendants standing at the US Airways counter.
It wasn't their fault, and it wasn't like they could do anything about this - they couldn't go out there and repair the damn plane. Well, maybe they could. Duo shouldn't be so quick to judge. Perhaps they had years of mechanical engineering under their belts but had taken these cushy jobs dealing with angry passengers instead because it paid better. Then again, he was pretty sure the mechanics still had a solid union and probably they were paid just as well, and didn't have to deal with the angry passengers at all.
Duo realized he was rambling, in his own head, and he sighed.
He should probably look over his presentation, should make sure he had everything in order and check over his itinerary - but he had already done that three times, and he drew the line at quadruple checking things. He wasn't that OCD.
Maybe one last time, just in case.
As he pulled out his laptop he noticed someone watching him.
It was the tall, sexy, green eyed man who had been in line ahead of Duo at Starbucks three hours ago, when this tragicomedy began and the flight had first been delayed while a new pilot was called in to replace the old one who had apparently spent half of the last flight vomiting while his co-pilot flew the plane to LAX.
Trowa, Duo remembered his name, remembered the barista arching an eyebrow at the name and the green eyed man arching one in return.
Trowa noticed Duo watching him, but he didn't look away, instead he merely looked amused.
"How many times have you looked over that?" Trowa asked, nodding at the folder Duo had pulled out of his battered leather briefcase.
"A few," Duo admitted.
Trowa nodded.
"How many times has it changed?"
Duo gave him a look and Trowa smirked.
"Not as often as our departure time," Duo muttered and Trowa chuckled.
Duo held out his hand.
"Duo Maxwell."
"Trowa Barton."
His grip was firm and warm and he released Duo's hand after only a brief squeeze.
"Heading to New York?" Duo asked him.
"That was the original plan," Trowa muttered.
"Work?" Duo asked, looking over Trowa's suit.
Trowa nodded.
"I have a meeting with a prospective client. Of course, at this rate I won't have a meeting and the client won't be a prospective."
Duo winced.
"I feel you."
Trowa arched an eyebrow.
"I'm on my way to an interview at Fordham. I'm supposed to be there in time to give a presentation this afternoon…"
"But we were also supposed to be landing in an hour," Trowa pointed out.
Duo nodded in agreement.
"And instead we're stuck here and I'm looking over my itinerary for the fourth time."
"Just think what we could be doing with our time instead," Trowa murmured.
Duo didn't think he imagined Trowa's voice dropping lower, didn't think he imagined the tilt of his lips and the glimmer of lust in his eyes.
"Like what?" Duo had to ask, because really?
Trowa smirked and glanced over Duo's shoulder and Duo followed his gaze to the Family Bathroom sign.
Holy shit. Really.
Trowa got up and picked up his bag and Duo found himself doing the same, not quite believing he was actually about to hook up with a complete stranger in an airport bathroom.
Duo followed him into the bathroom and Trowa locked the door.
Duo licked his lips, feeling nervous and way out of his depth. The only other time he had done something like this had been back in college, when he had hooked up with a stranger at a party and that - well, Duo had ended up dating the guy for four months. He didn't see this going in a similar direction.
Trowa dropped his bag to the ground and Duo did the same.
"So… come here often?" He asked.
Trowa snorted in amusement and then tugged Duo closer, hooking one finger under the waistband of Duo's trousers and pulling.
Duo bumped against him, mashing their noses together and they both scowled and rubbed at their faces.
"Sorry," Duo muttered.
"It's fine. Nothing's broken," Trowa said.
Duo leaned close and brushed his lips over Trowa's. It felt good, even though Trowa's lips were a little chapped, a little rough - Duo was sure his were in a similar condition but it didn't seem to bother Trowa. The slightly taller man wrapped his hands around Duo's shoulders and pulled him closer when Duo traced his tongue over his mouth.
Duo ran his hands up Trowa's back and to the nape of his neck, tangling his fingers in Trowa's hair.
Trowa backed them up against the wall and Duo winced as the back of his skull hit the tile a little too hard.
"Ow," he said against Trowa's mouth.
"Sorry." Trowa eased them away from the wall, let Duo push him up against the opposite wall and then Trowa hissed in pain.
Duo pulled away and saw that he had backed Trowa into the hand dryer and he winced in sympathy.
"Sorry."
Trowa arched an eyebrow.
"This is a little more painful than I was bargaining for."
Duo nodded in agreement and gestured towards the sink counter.
"That area seems safe," he said.
Trowa's lips twitched into a smirk.
"It does," he agreed and they walked over to the counter.
Duo leaned back against it and pulled Trowa close and kissed him again, taking his time, easing into it, enjoying the slow build of arousal as he felt Trowa's firm body press into him.
Duo unbuttoned Trowa's suit jacket and ran his hands over Trowa's back, feeling the muscles through his dress shirt and digging in a little.
Trowa made a sound that sounded somewhere between a groan and a growl and he pushed at the hem of Duo's sweater, lifting it and then tugging at Duo's undershirt until he could fit his hand under and trace Duo's skin.
Duo reached down for Trowa's belt and started to unfasten it.
He tugged at the latch, trying to free it and Trowa broke free of their kiss and stepped back when Duo failed to release it.
He seemed amused as he unfastened it for Duo.
"Thanks."
"Anytime," Trowa said and then kissed him again.
Duo unzipped Trowa's trousers and reached inside, finding his hard cock and stroking it through the thin material of Trowa's boxers.
Trowa moaned into his mouth and Duo smirked at the sound.
Trowa's hands moved down to Duo's ass, squeezing his cheeks and Duo rocked back into the touch.
Which smashed Trowa's hands against the counter.
"Fuck," Trowa groaned and pulled away.
Duo winced.
"Shit. I'm sorry."
Trowa arched an eyebrow.
"This is going about as well as our flight," he said.
Duo frowned.
"Not that bad," he argued and reached for Trowa's cock again, stroking him until Trowa closed his eyes and his lips parted.
"Mhm, not that bad," Trowa agreed.
Duo smirked.
Trowa reached for him, unfastening Duo's belt with amazing dexterity and then shoving his trousers and boxers down his hips so that Duo's cock sprang free.
"Yeah," Duo grunted when Trowa wrapped his hand around his cock. "Not that bad at all."
They stood there stroking each other's cocks, thrusting their hips forward and their hands and their cocks rubbed together and Duo bit his lip. It felt really fucking good.
"Do you have a condom?" Duo asked.
"No, do you?"
"Shit. No."
They both glanced at the dispenser in the corner of the room.
"Do you have any change?"
Trowa frowned and they stepped apart and reached for their bags.
Duo managed to scrounge up a quarter and Trowa thankfully, after emptying half of his bag, found two quarters.
Trowa inserted the quarters into the machine and turned the knob. It refused to turn.
"You have got to be kidding me," Duo muttered.
Trowa glared at the machine and smacked the side of it and tried turning the knob again. Miraculously, the abuse seemed to do the trick and he was able to turn it.
Trowa pulled the condom out of the slot and turned to Duo triumphantly.
"Lube?"
"I have shaving cream," Trowa said.
Duo made a face.
"Same." He sighed. "Spit?"
Trowa snorted.
"This is the least sexy hook-up of all time."
"Hey," Duo poked his finger into Trowa's chest. "I'm plenty sexy."
Trowa smirked.
"Yes," he agreed and kissed Duo again, "you are. Now turn around and let me dribble spit all over your asshole."
Duo rolled his eyes.
"Now that - that was one hundred percent romance right there, Trowa. Make sure you save that line for your future husband."
"Will do," Trowa promised.
Duo turned around and braced his elbows on the sink counter while Trowa did his best to prepared Duo using only spit.
Duo winced at the pain and made a mental note to himself to start traveling with lube and a few condoms, just in case - and then he caught himself. Was he seriously going to start preparing for random airport sex?
"You okay?" Trowa asked, looking at Duo's expression in the mirror.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good," Duo assured him.
Trowa looked a little uncertain but Duo rocked back against him, rubbing his ass against Trowa's cock and Trowa glanced downwards, at Duo's ass and it looked like he was admiring the view.
"Go ahead," Duo told him.
He felt the blunt, slick head of Trowa's cock in the condom press against him and he spread his legs a little wider and drew in a deep breath.
Trowa pressed forward, just barely penetrating him and it burned a little, the stretch and Duo made a sound that had Trowa pulling back.
"We don't -"
"No, no, just get your cock inside and it'll feel better," Duo told him.
Trowa sighed but he followed Duo's instructions, easing his cock into Duo's ass slowly, cautiously, until Duo could feel Trowa's groin pressed against him.
"Okay?" Trowa asked.
Duo nodded.
"Yeah. Definitely okay." He smirked at Trowa in the mirror. "It'd be more okay if you started moving."
Trowa rolled his eyes.
"Make sure you warn your future husband that you're bossy as hell whenever there's a cock in your ass."
"Will do," Duo echoed Trowa's earlier words.
Trowa pulled out a little and then pushed back in and it felt good, the shallow thrust and Duo pressed back, eager for more. Trowa went a little deeper the next time and Duo groaned.
"Fuck. Yes. That feels great. Just like that."
"Bossy as hell," Trowa repeated, but he was smirking at Duo in the mirror.
Duo smirked back.
Trowa continued to fuck him, continued to thrust in deep enough that Duo rocked forward against the counter and it felt good, felt better than anything else had all day and -
"...now. Final boarding for Flight 283. This is the final boarding call for Flight 283."
Their eyes met in the mirror.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Duo growled.
That was their flight - and Duo had not heard them make an announcement for the first boarding call, let alone the last.
"We were supposed to be delayed another hour," Trowa sounded as though he was actually whining.
Duo groaned.
"Fucking hell. Just - you close?"
"No," Trowa was definitely whining.
"Well, I'm sorry, but I can't miss this flight."
Trowa pulled out and Duo watched him remove the condom and throw it into the trash with a disgusted face.
Duo had to laugh.
Trowa glared at him.
"Sorry. It's just… we tried?"
Trowa's lips tipped upwards.
"Yeah, I guess we did."
They righted their clothes, picked up their bags, and made it to the gate just as the attendants were preparing the close the door.
It turned out that they were seated at completely opposite ends of the plane - Trowa in first class and Duo all the way at the back of the plane, sandwiched between an old man and a pregnant woman - and he didn't see Trowa again until they landed at JFK.
He was surprised to see the tall man waiting for him by the gate.
"Hey."
"Hey," Trowa responded. "Did you want to split a cab?"
"Yeah, sure," Duo said.
"Any chance you want to have dinner tonight?" Trowa asked. "After your interview?"
Duo smirked.
"You just want to try fail sex in another bathroom, don't you?"
Trowa arched an eyebrow.
"Fail sex? That's what we're calling it?"
"Can you think of a better name?"
Trowa seemed to put serious thought into it.
"No," he admitted after a moment. "Fail sex." He shook his head. "But I'd honestly rather just have dinner with you."
Duo smiled and Trowa smiled back.
"I'd love to," Duo said, "but according to my quadruple checked itinerary I've got dinner with a few faculty members."
"Oh." Trowa nodded and his disappointment was obvious.
"But I could do drinks after? If you're interested? We can get a little drunk and wax poetic about that one magical time we had together in the LAX Family Bathroom."
"I think we'd have to get more than a little drunk to start waxing poetic about that," Trowa muttered.
"I'm willing to get as drunk as it takes," Duo said.
Trowa shook his head, but he was smirking.
"I suppose I'll do the same."
During the cab ride they traded numbers, and when the cab pulled up near Lincoln Center Trowa tugged on the back of Duo's neck until Duo leaned forward and kissed him.
"Good luck," Trowa told him.
Duo smirked.
"You too. See you tonight."
He watched the cab pull away and he couldn't help but feel a coil of excitement and anticipation - not just for his interview, but for the chance to see Trowa again later, to laugh about what had to be the worst sex Duo had ever experienced.