Title: Saying Goodbye
Author: Steph aka CaptainSwanLuver
Rating: M
Pairing: Hook/Emma
Category: Drama/Romance/Smuff
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Just a general one from the upcoming episode 4x08. Already spoiled in the promo.
Summary: In order to rid herself of her uncontrollable powers, Emma must leave Storybrooke. But before she goes, she must say goodbye to Hook. This leads to some developments in their relationship.
Note: For the purposes of this fic, Hook never made a deal with Rumple. The show seems to have forgotten about it anyway, so I figured why can't I? I hope you enjoy it! ~Steph
-Saying Goodbye: Part 1/1-
Hook sat on the couch in his room above Granny's, staring at a picture of Emma on his phone. Henry had shown him how to use the camera, so now he could do more than just press the 'Emma button'. He ran his thumb across her face, his lips curling into a sad smile at the sight of her in a rare, unguarded moment. Her head was thrown back and she was laughing. He couldn't remember what she was laughing about, but he knew that he wanted to capture it. He loved the way her eyes lit up in that moment.
He sighed heavily, wondering if he would ever get to see her laugh or smile again. He had a knot in his stomach that kept growing. It took up residence there the moment she said she had caused the damage to the sheriff's station. And then when she ran from her family, ran from him, it intensified. He couldn't shake this feeling of impending doom. Hook hadn't seen Emma since and he was worried she might do something she would regret.
He ran his hand down his tired face, then picked up his bottle of rum and took a long swig. The rum could usually make things better, if only for a little while. It could usually make him forget the pain or the anger for a while, but this time it did nothing to dull the ache he felt.
He heard a knock on the door and set the bottle down. He walked to the door and threw it open.
Hook's eyes widened at the sight of Emma before him. He immediately rushed forward and pulled her into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her.
"Emma," he breathed, his warm breath tickling her ear.
Emma stiffened for a moment, but then allowed her body to relax into his. She buried her face into the crook of his neck and snaked her arms around his shoulders, inhaling his scent. She allowed the familiar warmth of his body to comfort her. Emma swallowed hard, knowing this would be the last time she would feel his arms around her. The mere thought broke her heart.
"I'm so glad you're alright, love," he whispered into her hair, reveling in the feel of her in his arms again. "I was so worried. We all were."
Emma slowly pulled back and met his eyes. "I'm sorry I worried you."
He smiled gently and cupped her cheek. "No apologies necessary. I'm just glad you're here now."
Emma dropped her gaze and stepped back from him, breaking all contact. She walked past him and he closed the door behind her.
She licked at her lips, as he came to stand before her. She still couldn't meet his eyes. This was going to be hard enough without having to watch the pain slowly enter them.
"I came here to say goodbye," she said softly.
A look of confusion flickered across his face.
"Goodbye? Are you going on a journey?"
She gathered the courage and forced her gaze to meet his. "I'm leaving Storybrooke."
Hook felt like he had been punched in the gut. He literally felt the air leave his lungs.
He shook his head back and forth. "What are you talking about?"
Emma inhaled sharply. "I went to see Rumple for help and-..."
Hook shook his head. "You must realize no good can come from seeking assistance from the Dark One, Emma."
"I was desperate. I asked him to help me get rid of my powers," she admitted, her voice emerging shakily.
Hook's eyes grew wide. "Emma, please tell me you are not serious. Love, you can't rid yourself of your powers. They make you who you are. "
"I have to," she said, nodding emphatically. "I can't control them and I won't risk endangering the lives of those I love. I could've killed my father the other day. I could've killed you, Killian."
He took a step closer to her. "I'm fine, love. It wasn't your doing."
"That's my point. I am unpredictable. If I can't control my powers, then I am just as dangerous as any villain that Storybrooke has ever encountered."
"Don't say that, Emma."
"It's the truth, Killian," she said, as tears filled her eyes.
Hook took a deep breath. If he had a prayer of getting through to her, then he had to remain calm.
"Start at the beginning. Tell me what happened with the Dark One."
Emma sighed. "I asked him to help me get rid of my powers. He said he could, but only if I left Storybrooke."
Hook's jaw clenched. "You can't trust him, Emma. You know the Dark One doesn't do anything without receiving something in return."
"He said that he could only take my powers after I crossed the Storybrooke town line. Now that the ice wall is finally gone that is possible again."
Hook shrugged his shoulders. "Not that I support this plan, but once your powers are taken, then you can simply cross back over into Storybrooke."
Emma shook her head, as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Hook nearly closed the distance between them, catching the tear with his thumb and gently swiping it away.
"I can't," she breathed. "Rumple said if I cross back over, then my powers will be restored, but they will be even more uncontrollable than before."
Hook's tongue lashed at his lips. "There has to be another way. You can't leave, Emma. This is your home. This town needs you. Your family is here." He paused and then added softly. "I'm here."
Emma squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. "Don't you think this is killing me, Killian? This is the last thing I want to do, but I am the savior and my job is to protect Storybrooke and its inhabitants. I just never thought I'd have to protect them from me." She paused, swallowing hard. The thought of leaving my parents, my brother, my son...you...it's tearing me apart inside. But I don't have a choice."
"You always have a choice. There must be another way." Hook paused and then nodded. "And if there isn't, then your family and I will go with you."
Emma smiled sadly at him and shook her head. "You can't. Rumple said if anyone crosses over with me, then they will lose all of their memories of me. I will be a stranger to them." She paused and then added, "Besides, this town needs my parents. My mother is mayor and my father will have to be sheriff by himself now. They need to lead this town and Storybrooke will need them more than ever once I'm gone. I can't take Henry away from Regina either. And, Killian, this is your home now, too."
Hook came closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her body to his, as he met her eyes. "There's nothing in this town for me without you, Emma. You are my home. Wherever you are is home to me."
He then pressed his lips to hers, his hand coming to the back of her head. The kiss was needy and desperate and passionate all at once.
Emma finally pulled back and met his eyes. "But if you cross over with me, then you won't remember me so how you feel about me won't matter anymore."
"But you'll remember me," he said.
She nodded. "Yes."
He took her hand in his and brought it to his chest, placing it above his heart. "I will always know you in my heart, Emma."
She smiled at him through her tears.
He went on. "I will get to know you all over again. It's far better than living without you, love. I've done that before and I have no intention of repeating it." A slow smile pulled at his lips. "Plus, how many men get the chance to fall in love with the woman of their dreams twice in a lifetime. I'd say I'm one fortunate man."
Emma felt her breath catch in her chest at his use of the word 'love'.
He noticed and smiled. "Yes, Emma, I know I've done an extremely good job of concealing it, but I am in love with you. Hopelessly and completely. I love you just the way you are and I'd follow you anywhere."
Emma smiled widely at him. "I knew," she whispered. "I've known for a long time."
Hook dropped his gaze. "I...I don't expect you to say it in return just because I did. While I hope you reciprocate, I don't want you to feel obligated. I've wanted to tell you that for a long time. And I needed to tell you now. But I don't expect anything so it's-..."
"I love you, too, Killian," she said so softly, he was sure he'd imagined it.
He slowly met her eyes. "What did you say?"
She offered him a smile that reached her eyes and lit up her face. "I said I love you, too."
Hook felt his heart begin to race and a grin overtook his face. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips.
When he pulled back, he arched his eyebrow. "Wait, love, you're not just saying that because you know I'll forget all about it once we cross over, are you?"
Emma laughed softly and shook her head. "No, I said it because I meant it."
His eyes brightened and he kissed her again, then said, "Well, that's certainly a relief."
He looked into her eyes, but found they had filled with tears again. "Love?"
"You're not coming with me, Killian," she said softly.
He inhaled sharply. "We just discussed this. You're all I have, Emma. You're all I need."
"I need you to stay and help take care of my family."
He shook his head. "I belong with you."
"Please, Killian, I need you to do this for me. This is going to be hard enough, but if I know you're here to help them with whatever comes their way, then it will make it a little easier." She swallowed roughly. "Last time I was forced to leave Storybrooke, my memories were taken from me. I spent a year not knowing that I had a family out there, people out there who loved me and were missing me. And they had to live with the belief that they would never see me again. I can't imagine how hard that was."
"It was torture," he whispered.
"But now I am on the other side of it. I will remember everything and everyone, but I will have to find a way to live without them. The only way I can do that is if I know you're here to help them. To look after Henry and keep him safe. To help defeat whatever villain of the month shows up. I trust you, Killian, and I need you to do this for me."
"And what if I won't," he whispered.
She brought her hand up and caressed his cheek. "I know you will because you love me."
He swallowed, his throat burning. "That I do."
She closed the distance between them and placed her head on his shoulder. "Please, Killian."
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ward off his tears. "I'd do anything for you, love."
Emma smiled, even though her heart was breaking, knowing she would never see him again after today, knowing she would never feel him again.
She pulled back and locked eyes with him. "Thank you." She then paused and dropped her eyes shyly. "Did you mean what you said?"
"Mean what?"
"That you'd do anything for me."
"Aye."
She brought her hands up to his chest and met his gaze. "Then make love to me, Killian," she whispered.
Hook's eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. He had dreamt of those words leaving her lips a thousand times, but he had never imagined it happening like this.
"Emma."
"Please," she said, her tone nearly desperate. "I need to feel you, Killian. The memory has to last me a lifetime. It has to last us."
"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this? But if we do this, then it will only make it that much harder to say goodbye, Emma."
Hook nearly choked on the word 'goodbye'. He couldn't fathom never seeing her again. He had lived with that reality for a year and it had killed him. Knowing she was out there somewhere, but not being able to get to her, having to accept he would never see her again, had driven him mad. And that was when they had only shared one kiss and he didn't even know if his feelings were reciprocated. He didn't think he could do it all again. Living without her had been too hard the first time. Living with the memory of them becoming one, but knowing he would never experience it again, would push him over the edge.
"Emma, we can't."
She cupped his face in her hands and whispered into his lips. "It's the only way I can say goodbye to you."
His eyes searched hers for a long moment and then he saw it: love. She had said the words and now he saw evidence of it.
He groaned. "Bloody hell, I've never been able to deny you anything."
She smiled, as his lips crashed into hers. His hook clawed at her hip, dragging her body to his. His hand found her ass and he squeezed it. Emma entwined her fingers in his hair, bringing him closer to her to deepen the kiss. His tongue swept into her mouth and she sucked on it.
They both felt their hearts racing, as they finally were doing what they had only dreamt of. The fact that it would be their first and last time weighed heavily on them, but they were determined to make the most of their night together and to keep the memory close to their hearts.
Emma clawed at Hook's back, desperate to feel his skin against hers. He brought his lips to the column of her throat and began trailing kisses down it. Emma threw her head back and moaned, as she gripped his vest tightly.
Hook pulled back and then placed his hook and hand under her bottom, lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and encircled his neck with her arms, as she brought her lips back to his. He managed to walk them the short distance to the bed and placed her on it. She knelt in front of him on the bed, bringing her hand down to cup his arousal.
He squeezed his eyes closed and let out a groan, as she began to stroke him through his leather pants. Hook brought his hand and hook up to her shirt. The hook dipped below the shirt and he ran the metal along her stomach. She inhaled sharply at the feel of the cold metal against her heated skin. Slowly, he used the hook to lift the shirt up and remove it from her body.
Hook looked at her upper body appreciatively, his eyes lidded with desire. She wore a black lace bra that just barely covered her breasts. He brought his hand up and cupped her right breast, as his hook cupped the other. He palmed the breast, rubbing the nipple through the fabric and smiling when it stood at attention. He did the same with the other. Emma let out a sigh and bit at her lip.
His fingertips traced the edge of the right cup and then he pulled it down, smiling as her breast was bared to him. His lips were immediately on it, his tongue licking at the peak. He sucked it into his mouth and took more of her in when she brought her hand to the back of his head and pressed him to her. He moved to the other cup and pulled it down with his teeth. He pressed his tongue to the nipple and then nipped at it gently, before sucking on it.
"Killian," she breathed.
She brought her hands up to his face and lifted his head, so she could kiss him. Then she brought her hands to his vest and made quick work of the buttons. She did the same with the shirt and tossed both on the floor. She smiled at the glorious sight of his chest. She dragged her fingernails down his abs and then brought her mouth to his chest, placing open-mouthed kisses all the way down to the button of his jeans. His hand swept into her hair and he let out a hiss, as she undid the button with her talented mouth, then pulled the zipper down with her teeth.
She pushed the pants down his hips and he kicked them off. She smiled at his lack of underwear and the impressive arousal that greeted her. She brought her hands to his member and began to stroke him, her thumb running over the tip. He threw his head back and let out a moan.
She continued to pump him, as he reached behind her and unclasped her bra. He deposited it on the floor and then massaged her breasts, his thumb flicking over the nipples. Emma moved her hands from him and brought them to her jeans. She removed them, as well as her boots, and sat back on her heels, bare except for matching black panties.
She met his eyes and his tongue lashed at his lips, as she hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and swept them off her body. He was on her in a flash, pressing her back into the mattress and eliciting a giggle from her. His hand skimmed down her side, causing her to shiver. It continued to her hip and then her mound. Emma inhaled sharply as he cupped her and then moaned as he slipped inside her.
He pumped his finger slowly and then added a second, lifting his eyes as he watched her arch her back and grip the sheets. He slowly removed his fingers and climbed back up her body, his lips meeting hers. His arousal poked at her folds. She brought her hands down and gripped his ass, a silent plea to enter her.
His eyes locked with hers, as he slowly entered her. She cried out as they were finally joined. He pumped into her slowly at first, wanting to savor every moment of their one and only time together. But he couldn't hold back and began to thrust into her harder, setting a steady pace.
"Killian," she breathed.
"Emma," he said, kissing her neck.
Her nails clawed at his back, leaving red marks that she was sure would remain even after she was gone. She smiled at the thought. Something to remember her by.
Suddenly, Hook flipped them over, so Emma was on top. She smiled, as she leaned forward, her hair falling over his chest and tickling him. She placed her lips on his and then pressed her breasts to his chest, loving the friction created by the soft hairs sprinkling his upper body.
She sat up then and gripped the headboard with both hands, as she began to move up and down on him. He groaned in pleasure, his hand on one hip and his hook on the other. His hand slowly trailed up her stomach until it reached her breast. He cupped it, as she rode him and arched her back, throwing her head back and opening her mouth in a silent scream. His thumb and forefinger played with the nipple until it stood erect. His hook found the other and he rubbed the cool metal against it until it did the same.
Hook pumped into her over and over again, until she cried his name and he knew that she had fallen over the edge. A moment later, he followed suit.
She collapsed on top of him, allowing her body to cover his. She rested her head on his chest and found his hand so she could entwine their fingers.
"I love you," he whispered, as he kissed her forehead.
"I love you, too," she replied, as the tears began to spill out.
"Please don't leave me," he said, his voice choked with emotion.
Emma lifted her head and placed her hand over his heart. "I'll always be with you. Right here, remember?"
He shook his head. "Not nearly good enough. I can't say goodbye to you again, Emma. I can't let you go."
Emma felt her heart shatter into a million pieces as she said the next words. "You have to."
She didn't see the tear slip out of his eye, as she returned her head to his chest and listened to the sound of his beating heart.
Hook felt Emma's tears wet his chest and he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist, as he tried in vain to blink back his own.
Neither could believe that they would never hold each other again, never kiss, never feel the other's skin against theirs, never make love. It didn't seem real, like some cruel joke. They had finally let down their walls enough to admit their love for one another. They had finally given into their pent up desires. And now it was all going away.
The memory of it would be all that remained.
...
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought. ~Steph
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