DISCLAIMER: It's Paramount's galaxy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: C/7. Set in AU#5 established in fanfiction stories "Alternatives" and "The River of Time." Picks up at the end of "Alternatives" and follows Kellin's reintegration into Voyager's crew, her revelation about her best friend, Seven of Nine, and what she does about it.
So, I chose this AU next because scifiromance listed it first in her final review of "Healing Wounds," and Laura Schiller also highlighted it in her review of the original "Alternatives" story. No other specific votes came in, so that decided it. I never did intend to write "the rest of the story" (particularly for this one) and am unsure I came up with a convincing plot and resolution. Here goes nothing, and forgive me if it goes astray.
Reviews, as always, are welcome.
#
THE THIRD PATH
Stardate 57817.5 (AU#5)
# Chapter 1 - Reset
…
The Tracer was the first to comprehend the meaning of her statement. "I won't stop. I'm not going back without you."
Seven stepped forward and handed Kellin the Tracer weapon. "It will be hard to find me," she said to the Tracer, "after we erase your ships databases and you don't even remember me or why you are so far from home."
She raised the weapon and pointed it at the Tracer. He turned, but there was nowhere to go in the holding cell. Chakotay immediately realized her intention and turned off the force field. Soon after the Tracer weapon discharged, Chakotay stunned the Tracer with his phasor. He then turned to Kellin. "You had me going there. I thought for sure you didn't remember me."
Kellin let the Tracer weapon fall to the ground, and stared at the Tracer slumped in the holding cell. "I don't remember you," she whispered. "I've just severed my link to Ramura. To everything I can remember. All I'm going on is the advice from a friend. My… best friend."
Chakotay looked at Seven, and then back to Kellin. "You do remember Seven?"
Kellin nodded. "After a fashion. I suppose it might be those Borg nanoprobes she injected into me in sickbay. Seven reminded me that I must have had some pretty good reasons for staying that first time, five years ago. She convinced me that it's worth figuring out what those reasons are a second time around."
Chakotay hesitated at first, but then moved forward to embrace Kellin. She returned his hug, and then backed away. "Let's take this slow, OK? We'll see."
Chakotay's heart sank, but to the side, Seven's heart soared. She knew she had done the correct thing, for both her friends. To have acted otherwise would have been unthinkable. The future was still to be written. Who knows what might happen…
#
Nearly every instinct Kellin had was telling her to get as far away from these aliens as she could and return to Ramura. The time lost was like a great emptiness in her mind that she couldn't wrap her hands around. She had inflicted this same fate on others of her species, when she had been a Tracer herself. Ironically, these were some of her last clear memories she could recall from before awakening in Voyager's sickbay. The chase, and then the capture and reconditioning of the runaway. But to lose five years! She had never had to do that. Those memories seemed far off and indistinct, as if she viewed them over a chasm which was the hole in her mind. The situation was intolerable.
Kellin couldn't look at Chakotay any longer. Although he was a stranger to her, he was obviously hurting, and she knew it was her indifference to him that was causing his pain. For all she knew, she would fall in love with him again, and get married again, and the two of them would be together. But how could she think of those things right now? What she needed was some space and time to think. She pushed all of this out of her mind and turned to Seven. There was something queer in the way her friend was looking at her and Chakotay. She'd have to figure that out later. "We need to talk," Kellin said and motioned towards the corridor outside for privacy.
Kellin and Seven stepped out of the brig and walked in silence for a few steps until they were alone. Kellin looked about and realized just how unfamiliar everything was. When she had raced down with Seven from sickbay just moments ago, she hadn't really been paying attention to her surroundings, still in a bit of a daze. Trying to make sense of what was going on; she had clung to Seven as an anchor in a storm. The corridor in which they now walked looked sterile and alien, nothing like her Ramuran ship. Where her ship was now, she had no idea. Seven had told her a few facts on their way down from sickbay. Presumably, she had been a member of this crew for the past five years. She had helped them integrate Ramuran cloaking technology and develop a way to counteract the pheromones which usually made the memories of Ramurans disappear in other species. In that time she had also befriended Seven and fallen in love with Chakotay. She regarded Seven out of the corner of her eye. All those memories were now gone, but somehow Seven's Borg nanoprobes had retained in her a deep trust and familiarity towards her friend. As she tried to think of why she felt that way, she was frustrated and couldn't isolate anything specific. It made her very uncomfortable, and worse, she felt vulnerable. The xenophobic training of her people was attempting to bubble to the surface. There were a lot of things to work out, but perhaps most pressing and immediate were her living arrangements.
"Seven," she finally said. "I'm overwhelmed, to say the least. I need a place to stay to sort things out, and the only one I know or trust is you." She laughed, a little too close to hysteria for her liking, and so she stopped to calm herself for a moment. "Don't get me started to try and explain why. I don't know if I could. What did you do to me?"
Seven looked troubled. "My intention was to use my Borg nanoprobes to halt the memory erasure caused by the weapon. It appears to have worked to a degree, but not as I anticipated. You remember our friendship, and believe me when I say we are good friends, but apparently no temporal details of our relationship."
"No temporal details at all," Kellin spat. She sighed and added, "I do believe you. Do you think that is all I'll remember?"
"I don't know." Seven appeared genuinely distressed.
"I still need a place to go to get away for a while," Kellin continued. "Is my ship intact?"
"Your ship was destroyed when you first came to us," Seven responded, and then considered further. "Actually, it was the second time you came to us. No one on Voyager remembers the instances of the first time."
"I don't remember the instances of either time!" Kellin snapped. She breathed in and exhaled slowly, trying again to calm herself. This wasn't Seven's fault. It was the fault of Ramura and their xenophobic doctrine. The resentments she felt from long ago she could remember clearly. They were all the more tangible given the five year gap now in her memory. "Could I then impose on you and stay with you in your quarters for a short time?"
Seven appeared to hesitate.
"What is it?" Kellin asked. "Is there no room in your quarters?"
Seven shook her head. "That's not it. I don't have quarters. The Borg alcoves required for my regeneration cycles are in the cargo bay. Icheb and I reside in there."
Kellin was confused. She knew Seven was a former Borg drone, but to live in a cargo bay? And who was Icheb? Despite feeling and knowing Seven was her friend, she knew next to nothing about her. "Is Icheb your husband?" she asked tentatively.
Seven's eyes widened. "No. Icheb is another Borg drone rescued by Voyager when he was an adolescent. He's grown into a young man, but as a drone, still requires regeneration of his Borg components as well."
Kellin nodded. It was obvious to her that she'd have to refamiliarize herself with the rest of the crew as soon as possible; another reason to get away and be alone for a time. It made her uneasy to think about how well the crew of Voyager all knew her and how little she knew of them. "It will have to do," she finally said. "Could you have someone remove all my things from Commander Chakotay's quarters and move them to the cargo bay?"
"So you do not intend to stay with Commander Chakotay?"
The anger that was so close beneath the surface suddenly came out. "How can you say that?" Kellin shouted. "I don't even know Commander Chakotay. I have no memory of my marriage with him, and so as far as I'm concerned, that marriage does not exist."
Seven looked thoughtful and then touched her comm badge. "Seven of Nine to Mister Neelix."
"Go ahead."
"I need a favor, and I need to have it done immediately. Do you have time?"
"Yes, what do you need?"
"Please arrange to have Kellin's personal items moved from her previous quarters to cargo bay two. We will need to requisition some partitions for privacy, a bed, and anything else you deem appropriate for an extended stay."
There was a hesitation on the other end, and then "of course. I will get right on it."
When the comm link was broken, Kellin asked "Who is Neelix?"
"He is a resourceful individual and holds many functions aboard ship. I have discovered that when you want to get something done quickly and efficiently, Neelix is the right person to go to."
They arrived at a turbo lift and the doors swished open. Standing inside and before them was an alien species Kellin didn't recognize. Superficially similar to humans and obviously from the alpha quadrant, he had dark skin, short black hair, and pointed ears.
Seven spoke first. "Kellin, this is Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. He's Voyager's tactical officer and head of security. You are assigned to his section as part of your duties."
Knowing her own background, Kellin realized the sense that assignment had been. Just how well she knew Tuvok, however, she had no idea. Tuvok stepped forward and handed Kellin a data PADD.
"I was just coming to find you" Tuvok said. "I took the liberty of preparing a refresher regarding all your duties here on Voyager. You are a valued and integral part of my tactical and security team. My desire is to have you back on duty as soon as possible."
Kellin looked down at the data PADD. She immediately recognized some of the topics, many related to Ramuran cloaking technology. Evidently she had indeed shared her knowledge with these people. She could have guessed as much, having been able to elude the Tracers for so long. What exactly had pushed her over the edge to defect to them she couldn't guess. Had it really been Chakotay, or something more? Those resentments towards Ramuran doctrine she had felt just moments ago echoed fresh in her mind. "I suppose we're good friends?" she asked sarcastically.
Tuvok nodded. "I would say that is an accurate assessment. I understand that you remember none of it, but in time, I am confident we will reestablish the same rapport we had before." Tuvok then exited the turbo lift to allow Kellin and Seven to enter.
Before the doors slid shut, Tuvok placed his hand into the lift to prevent the doors from closing. "There is one more thing I would like to offer," he said haltingly. "I am Vulcan. We have a telepathic ability to link minds with other individuals. When minds are linked in this way, they share thoughts. It is very intimate, and I do not offer this lightly. I am willing, however, to conduct this mind meld with you if you wish. It would thus be possible for you to gain knowledge of the years that are now missing from your memory, although from my perspective of course."
Kellin glanced at Seven to gauge her reaction, but Seven showed none. Not quite sure what to say, Kellin replied "I will give it some thought, thank you."
"You once told me how your brother never seemed the same after he was recaptured and the memory of his time off your world erased. Unlike him, however, you have the entire crew of Voyager here to help you recover from this. Rest assured that we will do everything we can to reintegrate you back into the crew."
Kellin was taken aback. "I told you of Jovin?"
"Yes. We spent several months trying to devise a defense against the Ramuran mind erasure weapon. You spoke of him often."
"I guess we were close friends after all," Kellin said thoughtfully. She knew Tuvok meant well, but the more she thought about her lost years of memory, the more frustrated she became. "Honestly, I'm not too happy with the idea of someone else mucking with my memory." She lifted the PADD and added, "I'll take a look at this, and then we can discuss my duties and get to know each other again without the mind link."
"Very well," Tuvok said and removed his arm. The turbo lift's doors slid shut.
Kellin sighed heavily, and then she felt Seven's hand on her shoulder. Anger welled up inside her again and she was about to yell some profanities, but then stopped herself. There was nothing she could do about the memory loss now, and anger would not solve anything. Besides, she knew that Seven was only trying to comfort her, as any friend would in an untenable situation such as this.
"Deck six," Seven said and the turbo lift started moving silently.
"Where are we going?"
"Our… quarters."
"Are there logs that I can read to bring myself up to speed on what's happened these past five years?"
"Of course," Seven replied. "I will arrange to make them available."
The turbo lift stopped and the doors opened. Two humans stood waiting to enter. Kellin flinched thinking she would be bombarded with another round of friendly hellos from strangers who knew her better than herself. Fortunately they entered the turbo lift without saying a word and so she followed Seven out and down the corridor.
They entered the cargo bay and Neelix turned to greet them. Kellin was pleasantly surprised she recognized him as a Talaxian, another species native to the delta quadrant like herself. At least she wouldn't be the only one on board. He had obviously wasted no time in getting the area ready for her. Several people were unloading containers and beginning to assemble partitions to separate various parts of the cargo bay into living quarters and another group was moving a sonic shower into place. Kellin was aghast at the thought that Seven and Icheb called this area their home. She felt she must have protested about this before and would have to speak to Seven further. One way or another, they would get proper quarters for themselves.
"Funny enough," Neelix began, "all the supplies needed were right here in the cargo bay. I grabbed a group from the mess hall and we came right over. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of choosing the color choice for the partitions."
Kellin now noticed the color, a deep blue, the very color of the Ramuran sky in winter. It reminded her of long walks with her brother through the snow covered valley near their home. She had always loved that color, but seeing it now made her angry yet again. It seemed she was having difficulty controlling her emotions. Neelix was probably just trying to be nice, so she stopped herself. "I know you must know everything about me," she said. "My favorite color, the foods I like to eat, the exact date of my Ascension. I would appreciate it if you not assume anything about me from this point forward."
Neelix stepped back. "I can have it changed to whatever you like," he said sheepishly. "These were already available and I thought a rich tuliberry blue would brighten the place up a bit."
"Tuliberry blue?" Kellin regarded the partitions again. She had no idea what a tuliberry was, although it was apparently the same color as the Ramuran winter sky. "This is tuliberry blue?"
"Yes. But it can be made to whatever color you'd prefer. That might take a little more time though." Neelix looked distressed at having offended Kellin.
"So you had no idea that it was my favorite color?"
"No. But I apologize. I will definitely consult with you regarding any other decorating ideas I have."
"Wait. Let me get this straight. We are not good friends and you don't already know everything about my tastes and inclinations?"
"Ah. I would hope to be able to say we are friends, but I must admit I don't know you very well." Neelix stroked his sideburns and fidgeted nervously.
Kellin finally relaxed. It was the first good news she had heard all day. Not everyone on Voyager knew more about her than she knew about herself after all. She went up and hugged Neelix and he jumped in surprise. "You don't know how happy that makes me feel," she said. "I look forward to getting to know you Neelix, and for you to get to know me better."
Neelix smiled back, and Kellin turned and placed her arm around Seven who was standing next to her. Perhaps this could work after all. She was beginning to feel optimistic, and wasn't about to question her change in mood. It was better than the panic she had been feeling welling up inside her before that. Keep close to Seven, she thought, and you'll be just fine. "Neelix," Kellin said. "We need a favor, and we need to have it done immediately. Do you think it would be possible to have proper quarters, complete with Borg alcoves, outfitted for Icheb, Seven, and myself."
Neelix stroked his sideburns again. "The power requirements for the alcoves might make that tricky."
Kellin patted Neelix on the back, trying to let her newfound optimism sink in. "A resourceful individual like yourself? I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out."