Tap. Tap. Tap.
"God dammit."
Grimmjow gave up and groaned loudly. Pressing his face against his hand, he sighed again and then straightened up immediately, determined not to give up.
I will not lose, I will not lose, I will not fucking lose! Don't fucking…shit.
Grimmjow slammed his head against his desk and growled, pounding it with his fist once or twice.
He would not give up on writing, dammit!
It was the only thing he was good at…or so he thought. Maybe he really wasn't as good as he thought. Yeah, he probably sucked. Those were the thoughts coursing through Grimmjow's brain as he sat in front of the computer, glaring at the document open on the screen.
Most people probably would have found it ridiculous that someone like Grimmjow Jaegerjaques was writing stories. But it was a thing he was born with. Even when he was little he would make up stories in his head, but most of them—to his embarrassment—had been stupid fluffy crap.
His mother had liked it though. His father had found it cute as well as ridiculous that his son was writing. His father had believed that writing was girly, so Grimmjow had stopped for a while out of embarrassment.
And now here he was, sixteen years old, glaring at his screen, pondering what to write. His ambition was to become a writer he knew that now…or he thought he had.
"Ah fuck it all." And Grimmjow stood up and lay down on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes and letting out a long sigh. Every time he tried to write, he would find everything else more interesting. He would be into it one day and then not into the idea the next day. He had started looking down on himself, he had started losing focus.
Maybe he was tired?
Maybe he was just not into writing anymore?
He had no damn clue.
He had been stressed out for a while, for two years, since his mother died so maybe that was it? Maybe he wasn't reading enough? Maybe he just needed something else in his life, something exciting?
Whatever.
He no longer had any answers to his questions.
He had thought getting out would make it better. He was obviously wrong.
Grimmjow was sitting in the park on a bench staring into his lap, his hands clenched tightly together. His sighed and closed his eyes, running his hand through his teal hair.
Maybe he was trying too hard?
"I should just fucking stop." Grimmjow growled through clenched teeth, kicking the ground with his toe.
Grimmjow stared hard at his laptop sitting next to him and then sighed and shut it. He stood up, tucking his hands into his pockets as he gazed around the park.
He was just about to leave when, without any warning at all, someone ran by and grabbed his laptop! Grimmjow turned around with a yell of shock as the orange haired teen ran off with it. "Hey you piece of shit!" Grimmjow tore after him, racing as fast as he could after the orange haired thief.
And then something collided with him and he fell, seizing whoever it was by the neck as he fell down and causing the person to fall right on top of him.
Grimmjow's eyes opened and he felt his heart beat increase when he saw a pair of emerald eyes staring into his. Grimmjow shrieked and pushed whoever it was in the chest. "Sorry, are you alright?" the voice asked.
"Hell n—!" he broke off in shocked silence when he saw the person's face.
It was a man, not much older than himself.
And god damn he was hot!
He had pure white skin and slightly messy ebony hair, the only color there was on him were his eyes. His eyes were a beautiful shade of emerald. In any other situation Grimmjow would have noted how emo the guy looked but really, he found he could hardly care.
He was wearing a green shirt with black jeans that fit snugly on him Grimmjow noted. Damn, he looked so fucking doable! The man seemed to notice Grimmjow was staring at him and he obviously felt uncomfortable by his stare because he cleared his throat and said, "Sir, your stare is making me uneasy." And Grimmjow snapped out of his daze and said, "Uh…" his mind had just shut down completely.
Behind a set of bushes some ways ahead, fifteen year old Ichigo was watching with Renji, Rukia and Chad, all of them were sniggering. Nnoitra peered over the bushes with Neliel at his side and said, "What the fuck'r you—what the shit?"
"Oh how cute!" Neliel said in a whisper and Ichigo simply sighed and said tiredly, "I am never going out of my way like that for a friend again!" before he laid the laptop on the ground next to the bush and hastily beckoned his friends away.
The plan; to get Ulquiorra out of his lonely misery by finding someone equally more miserable looking and pairing them together.
Operation successful.
Grimmjow scowled and said, "Come on dammit, I feel fine, stop pestering me!"
It was obvious the other guy felt guilty for knocking him down in the first place, but really why go to the bother of following him around?
Grimmjow searched amongst the bushes and finally kicked one of them. "Son of a fucking—my dad is going to have my hide for this!" Grimmjow exclaimed, sinking back onto the bench and putting his face in his hands.
"What are you looking for?" the pale teen asked.
"My dad's laptop—and no I am not still living with my dad!" Grimmjow lied immediately.
The boy's emerald eyes narrowed. "Right."
"No, I'm not!" Grimmjow denied heatedly.
"I don't see why it matters."
The teen in front of Grimmjow looked ahead of them before saying, "Did you see what direction they went in?"
"The direction I was heading now before I despaired!" Grimmjow responded moodily, his fingers curling in his teal hair as frustration coursed through him.
He heard soft footsteps and looked up in time to see the boy walking up the path a little further. "Well whatever you do, despairing isn't really going to help, is it?"
Grimmjow only managed a snarl as he fought back a scream of annoyance and felt his stress mounting to a whole new level.
"Just forget it! I shouldn't have brought it out here anyway! I was stupid to think for one damn minute that my problems would go away! I should just give—!"
"You're having problems?"
"Yes!" Grimmjow said, pressing his hands harder against his eyes.
"I see. So maybe if you really think it's a bad idea I shouldn't give you your laptop?"
"No—wait, what?" and Grimmjow looked up and gasped when he saw what the boy held clasped in front of his chest.
Grimmjow seized the laptop from him and just stared at him, wide-eyed. "Where was it?"
"Over there, just a little further up the path, it wasn't very far from where we are now."
Grimmjow just gaped at him, his mouth hanging open. The boy almost smiled at his expression.
Grimmjow took his laptop and put it in his bag and sighed. "Well that's one worry off my chest." He muttered. Then he returned his gaze to the boy in front of him and managed a grin, "Alright, I got it! Your coming with me." And he grabbed the boy's arm and began to drag him away up the street.
"Where are you taking me?" the boy inquired a little suspiciously and Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Oh I'm only taking you to my house where I'm going to do a little bit of this and that—I'm taking you to get food! Anyway, you've helped me, I'll help you I guess…it's only fair that way, right?" Grimmjow said somewhat moodily.
The boy frowned and said, "If you don't expect me to be suspicious of you now after that comment then your—"
"Oh c'mon! I'm not going to rape you or anything!"
When Grimmjow saw him flinch he said, "Okay, okay, okay…you don't have to go…"
"No, I'll go. I'm hungry anyway."
"Hang on; I'm not taking just anybody to lunch. What's your name?"
"Ulquiorra Shiffer."
"Ulquiorra…Ulquiorra…" Grimmjow said, testing the name on his tongue before he grinned and said, "Grimmjow Jaegerjaques."
Ulquiorra nodded and said, "I see. Nice to meet you, Grimmjow."
And they both walked off together towards their destination.
And the funny thing was Grimmjow completely forgot his depression.
In a small café, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow sat in silence across from each other.
Then Ulquiorra stood up and Grimmjow's chain of thought momentarily snapped. "Huh, you're leaving?"
"No, I'm going to be back in a second." And Ulquiorra walked away, his hands tucked into his jean pockets. Grimmjow momentarily kept his eyes on Ulquiorra's ass before he realized he was staring and looked away a little heatedly. Either the guy wasn't aware of how good looking he was or he just didn't care.
Several girls began talking about him and Grimmjow listened to their discussion for a moment, a strange feeling of possessiveness in his chest. "God I'm stupid." Grimmjow muttered, shaking his head. "I haven't even known the guy for a day!"
Feeling bored, Grimmjow pulled out his laptop and opened it. He opened up a document on the computer and stared blankly at it; he scowled heavily and tried to remember what he had wanted to write about.
Grimmjow scowled and slammed his hand down on the keyboard and watched the random letters spill across the digital paper. "I give up…" he was feeling depressed again.
"What are you doing?" and Grimmjow saw that Ulquiorra was back, holding a wrapped something in his hand.
"Breaking the laptop." Grimmjow said coldly.
"I see." was the calm reply as Ulquiorra seated himself in front of Grimmjow. Grimmjow smelled something sweet and looked over in interest. Ulquiorra was un-wrapping a brownie with peanut butter and chocolate in it. Ulquiorra took a bite of it and then continued to eat very fast and Grimmjow watched in amusement.
"Heh, you got a sweet tooth then?"
Ulquiorra quickly glanced up and said, "Want some?" but it was pretty obvious he wanted to eat the whole thing. Grimmjow chuckled. "Nah, go on. I'll watch."
Ulquiorra gave him a odd look that said 'your weird' before he continued eating.
Grimmjow returned his gaze to the screen and randomly wrote 'the guy I am with right now likes chocolate. That's fucking cute.'
And Grimmjow blinked at what he just wrote before he quickly wrote 'and by 'the guy I am with' I don't mean we're dating or shit…'
I wish I could write something serious.
And a random idea came to him! And he quickly tired to write about something short and serious but ended up punching the keyboard.
"You look like a fool." Ulquiorra pointed out mildly and Grimmjow realized Ulquiorra was standing behind him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay!" Grimmjow said angrily, slamming the laptop shut and putting his face in his arms.
Ulquiorra watched him in interest before he said softly, "Are you experiencing writer's block?" and Grimmjow looked up sharply. "How do you know?" he asked.
"Have you experienced it before?"
"I've never written anything unless I have too. I've experienced artist block before, I don't know if it's the same thing."
"It sounds the same!" Grimmjow snapped, tapping his laptop moodily.
"Maybe it is who knows? Here's some advice though, just sit down and write whatever's on your mind. It doesn't matter what it is, just write it down, don't even read it, don't show it to anyone, just write it down."
"What—how is that supposed to help?" Grimmjow asked incredulously and Ulquiorra sighed. "I don't know if it will help or not, but it may relieve stress."
"This has been going on for two years…it's not going to go away!" Grimmjow said and Ulquiorra heard something in his tone apart from anger, something sad.
"If you believe that, then it really won't go away. Whatever. What you do and don't do is none of my concern." Ulquiorra said dismissively, pocketing his pale hands before he turned to leave the café and Grimmjow looked up and said, "You're leaving?"
The pale teen nodded, saying softly, "I have to get home; the sitter I left my brothers with is going nuts." And Grimmjow grinned at the thought of tiny little Ulquiorra's. "Hey, wait a sec." Grimmjow said, crossing over to him and putting his hand on the door, stopping it from opening.
"Give me your cell number."
"Why?" Ulquiorra inquired suspiciously, turning his head to look at the taller man behind him.
"What, is it so wrong I want to keep in touch?" Grimmjow asked, smiling a little widely.
"You seem like the type to call someone just to annoy them." Ulquiorra said and Grimmjow frowned. "I won't do it…okay?"
Ulquiorra pulled out his phone—Grimmjow grinned wider when he saw that the phone was green— and said, "Give me your number first."
"Alright 1212-555-6474." And Ulquiorra added it.
"Yours?" Grimmjow asked, pulling out his blue phone.
And they both parted ways after that, Grimmjow in higher spirits than before as he pulled out his phone and found Ulquiorra in his contact list. Grimmjow pressed 'call' and grinned, looking over his shoulder.
Only a few feet behind Grimmjow, Ulquiorra stopped as his phone rang. He sighed.
"Idiot." But he answered the call anyway.
Grimmjow was surprised the following day when Ulquiorra turned up in his school, Grimmjow had gaped for a few moments until Ulquiorra sat down beside him and Grimmjow whispered to him.
"Dude, what are you doing here?"
"What do you mean? I've been here the whole time." Ulquiorra replied, surprised. Grimmjow momentarily made note of how cute he looked when he was surprised before he said, "N-no you haven't!"
"Yes I have." Ulquiorra replied, putting his books under his desk.
"No you haven't!" Grimmjow replied, getting annoyed.
"I have, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said impatience in his tone.
"No you haven't!"
"Yes I have."
"No, you have not!" Grimmjow said angrily.
"I have."
"Ahem!" and pieces of chalk hit them. "Mr. Jaegerjaques and Mr. Shiffer, please be quiet while I'm giving my lesson." Said the teacher politely, but her tone was dangerous.
People in the classroom started sniggering and Grimmjow didn't see what was so funny until he leaned back in his chair and realized that the way the teacher said it sounded like they were a married couple.
As the days went by Grimmjow became a better writer, it took slow progress but slowly he began to go a little easier on himself. He hadn't started writing about how he felt but instead he had spent more time with Ulquiorra. More ideas had been popping into his head lately and sometimes he either wrote them down, typed them down, or he even told Ulquiorra about a few of them.
He had a feeling that Ulquiorra thought some of his ideas were a bit odd, but if he did he kept his thoughts to himself and Grimmjow was grateful for that. But what he liked most of all was that Ulquiorra, although he didn't say much, listened. He was a good listener.
But there was one thing that bothered Grimmjow, he told Ulquiorra almost everything about himself already and yet Ulquiorra never once told him anything about himself. There was something mysterious about him, something almost sad.
Grimmjow knew some of Ulquiorra's friends, there was a guy named Chad, Renji and Nnoitra and Uryuu and there was a girl named Rukia. There was also supposed to be another guy called Ichigo but for some reason he was never around when Grimmjow was with them.
From what he could tell, Ulquiorra didn't tell them much about himself either. It didn't seem like he was very close to them and Grimmjow took some pride in knowing that Ulquiorra spent more time with him then he did with them.
So since it seemed like Ulquiorra wasn't going to make the first move, Grimmjow did.
"Hey, Ulquiorra?"
"Hm?"
"What's your ambition?" Grimmjow asked stretching out in the grass beside Ulquiorra.
Ulquiorra took a moment to respond, apparently pondering his answer.
"I…I don't know." And Grimmjow frowned and turned over onto his stomach to stare at the other man properly, catching his eye. "How can you not know that? You told me once that you had artist block so what—?"
"I don't really care but if I were to choose anything I think it would be drawing." Ulquiorra responded softly.
"Ah, you can draw huh? Show me."
"No."
"Oh c'mon, I've told you some of my ideas now you show me your drawing skills." Grimmjow whined.
"You act like a child." Ulquiorra pointed out honestly, glancing over at him.
"At least I don't look emo." Grimmjow said defensively.
"Whatever." Ulquiorra responded and he turned his gaze towards the sky. The sky had gone from blue to gray and Ulquiorra frowned as he felt raindrops starting to fall.
"I better go." Ulquiorra stood up and he heard Grimmjow curse lightly as he got up. They both hastily made their way up the path but the rain had already gotten harder and Grimmjow growled, shivering.
Ulquiorra looked around the park and quickly felt himself getting drenched. Grimmjow scowled and said softly, "Hang on let me think…"
Grimmjow reached out and ruffled his hair, grinning at the somewhat flustered reaction he got. Grimmjow took off his jacket and said, "Come here." And Ulquiorra obeyed and walked closer to him, but not close enough.
Grimmjow rolled his eyes and put his arm around Ulquiorra's shoulders and pulled him against himself. Grimmjow took off his jacket and threw it over both their shoulders. "It's not going to last long…fuck I don't think it'll even last a second but it's better than nothing, right?" Grimmjow said and Ulquiorra nodded.
And as they walked Ulquiorra noticed something that took him somewhat by surprise. Grimmjow's cheeks were flushed. Grimmjow jumped slightly when he heard Ulquiorra chuckle very softly. "W-what?" he said impatiently, looking down at Ulquiorra.
"I didn't know you were capable of blushing."
Grimmjow's ears turned red. "Shut it." He growled threateningly, closing his eyes.
And Ulquiorra found that he was enjoying himself, though it wasn't entirely comfortable to slouch he felt oddly comfortable.
He didn't know exactly why he said it, maybe it was to see how red Grimmjow's ears could turn, or maybe it was because he truly meant it.
"Thank you, Grimmjow."
He saw Grimmjow blink in surprise, saw the man's face redden. "What the hell, Ulquiorra? Stop being weird, it's freaky."
"How am I being weird?" Ulquiorra asked, looking over at the taller man.
"You just are, dammit!"
"You're being weird, if you ask me."
"Shut up!"
And they continued this banter until they parted ways.
Grimmjow pounded the keyboard several times before he gave up with a cry of annoyance. "Okay, screw this fucking shit!" and he began to pound the keyboard.
It was a day after their walk in the park and Ulquiorra was at Grimmjow's house watching the man trying to break his keyboard. "Grimmjow, you are being ridiculous."
"Shut up! You don't even know what the hell I am going through!" Grimmjow yelled, putting his face in his hands. "I fail to see how smashing the keyboard is going to make it better." Ulquiorra said but Grimmjow simply let out a moan and slumped against the desk, putting his face in his arms. "Fuck this…it's never going away, never. Why do I even bother it's just shit anyway! Nothing I write is ever going to be any fucking good! I don't know when I was stupid enough to decide I wanted to write!"
"Grimmjow—" Ulquiorra began but Grimmjow kept on talking. "I was so stupid! I mean c'mon! I'm so—!"
"Grimmjow would you listen to me?" Ulquiorra asked, trying to speak to him.
"What?" Grimmjow said, turning around. "Ulquiorra, how could you make it better? You don't even—you've never even wrote anything!"
"Grimmjow, it's written."
"I don't even care Ulquiorra! I just don't care! Whenever I try to write anything it turns out complete crap! My mind tells me it sucks! And my mind is right! Nothing—!"
"Grimmjow, I—"
But finally Ulquiorra realized that nothing he said was going to work, so instead he decided to use actions. He walked up to Grimmjow, who was now breathing heavily out of annoyance, his eyes closed tightly.
Ulquiorra reached out and took his chin in his hand and Grimmjow went silent as Ulquiorra moved closer to him, leaned down and pressed his lips against Grimmjow's.
Grimmjow felt his eyes fly open, felt his breath catch in his throat and for a moment he forgot how to think, his brain completely shut down. His hand went to Ulquiorra's chest and fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer. He felt his anger drain away and instead felt more relaxed than he had ever felt in ages.
Ulquiorra moved back and Grimmjow felt himself fall against Ulquiorra's chest. "That's better, you were too noisy." Grimmjow lightly hit his chest and he felt Ulquiorra's hand rest against the back of his head. "Speechless, huh?" Ulquiorra whispered and Grimmjow didn't speak, instead he found himself raising an arm to wrap around Ulquiorra's waist.
"I'll tell you something," whispered Ulquiorra. "If you suffering such severe writer's block that you're able to feel such frustration then you must have been working hard before. Very hard. Grimmjow, just give yourself sometime to recover."
"Yeah but—?"
"If writing is making this miserable then isn't it best to take a break? Writing should be something you do for fun, right?"
And when Grimmjow was silent, Ulquiorra continued, "If your mind can tell you that something is bad, then shouldn't you be able to counter and say that exact opposite? It's not a difficult thing to do; I think you could do it. I don't think that what you write is bad."
Grimmjow was now blushing furiously.
"Why…did you…?"
"Kiss you? I figured that words wouldn't get to you."
Grimmjow looked up at him and felt a smile tugging at his lips as he raised himself up higher and pulled Ulquiorra's closer to him. "Well wasn't that nice of you?" he murmured and Ulquiorra blinked. "You're back to normal already?"
"Shut up for a sec, will you?" Grimmjow breathed, pulling Ulquiorra against him, lifting his chin with his hand. Grimmjow leaned in and kissed Ulquiorra, his hand sliding through Ulquiorra's hair. It was just as soft as he thought it would be and he tasted better than Grimmjow had imagined, Grimmjow didn't think he would be able to move away. So he stood there with him, his arms wrapped tightly around him.
Grimmjow moved back for a moment and saw Ulquiorra frown. "Nice reaction, Ulquiorra…" Grimmjow said before he was pulled down again for another kiss.
Grimmjow's heart speed up as he felt Ulquiorra kissing him back and Grimmjow held his face in his hands, smiling slightly when he felt Ulquiorra's arms tighten around him, clenching in his shirt. They seemed to have stayed like that forever, neither willing to move away until Grimmjow moved back, resting his forehead against Ulquiorra's.
"You're more talkative than I thought you could be." He murmured, trailing kisses down his neck. He felt Ulquiorra shiver slightly and he said, "I felt that you needed some sense knocked into you before you did something stupid."
Ulquiorra leaned Grimmjow's chest, nuzzling his shoulder. "Are you going to follow my advice and give yourself a break, or did I do all that talking for nothing?"
Grimmjow hesitated. "I guess I could beat up some of those assholes that live down the street," and then he added. "Or I could spend a little more time with you. I think I'll do both."
"Whatever you want."
Grimmjow frowned and looked down at him and said, "Does that mean I'll get to spend my break with you?" he asked.
"Let me think about that." Ulquiorra said, turning away and smirking when he heard Grimmjow growled and he was seized and turned around to look Grimmjow in the face. "I'm not giving you a choice in that matter, Ulquiorra!"
Ulquiorra's lips twitched slightly and he said, "Alright then, it's decided." And he leaned in to kiss Grimmjow briefly. Grimmjow held him fast by the hips to make sure he couldn't leave yet and Ulquiorra couldn't say he was in a hurry to leave anyway so he didn't complain.
Grimmjow gently pushed him onto the couch and Ulquiorra could tell that there were a hundred perverted thoughts going through his head.
"If your father spots me here like this I doubt he'll agree, Grimmjow."
"Ah fuck it. He wouldn't care if a Bull ran through the house as long as the T.V. wasn't damaged. So I highly doubt he'll care as long as we don't somehow find a way to break the—"
Ulquiorra pushed himself up and said, "At any rate I have to get home." And Grimmjow frowned again and Ulquiorra fought back a smirk. "Keep doing that, Grimmjow, and people would think that you couldn't bear to have me leave your side."
Grimmjow's frown changed to a glare. "Screw you." Ulquiorra slid off the couch and tucked his hands into his pockets. "You said you wanted to spend more time with me. Any place you have in mind?"
"Uh…" Grimmjow eagerly accompanied him to the door and opened it, stepping outside with him. "How about that café we went to? That place is nice, not overly fancy and weird and…shit."
"What?"
"Uh...this isn't a date right?"
He and Grimmjow were silent, both feeling embarrassed. Ulquiorra began to walk away, saying, "Bye, Grimmjow."
Grimmjow just stood there, sputtering, his face red as he thought about what he had just said.
And partly because of the embarrassment he called out loudly after the pale teen, "It's not a date!"
Grimmjow didn't see the genuine smile that lingered on Ulquiorra's face as he disappeared from sight amongst the crowd.
I wanted to write a story like this for a few days. This story is pretty much based off of my writing problems at the moment. So pretty much everything said by Grimmjow in this story is related to how I feel about my writing. xP
However I feel pleased with how this was written and I actually smiled a bit writing it, picturing Grimmjow's expressions was fun too. xD
I think the scene I like the most is the meeting between Grimmjow and Ulquiorra and then the cafe scene along with the ending of course. :)
So I enjoyed writing this. I also apologize for any OOC-ness and rushed this fic may have been. I took not breaks while writing this...unless you count sulking over the fanfic for a moment as taking a break...oh and walking the doggies. :P I rewrote the end scene because after a while I got upset with the direction the fanfic went in so I am now happy with the way it ends. Especially Grimmjow's last line and Ulqui's smile! x3
Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading this!
I was happy to write another Grimmjow and Ulquiorra centered fanfic! *squees silently*
Reviews are welcome! :)