Wow. So mad at myself. Literally, just deleted the first chapter of this story. Had to go back and try to get it back to normal. But, hey, change is good right? Don't worry former readers, I kept everything the same, plot wise. Whether you are new or old to the fandom hopefully you enjoy! Super sorry for having to rewrite this.

3.10.14

Hollow Existence (1)

Once In A While

"Bad days are like rotten fruit, they just flat-out stink,"

I'm different. Have I ever been able to accept it? No, never in my whole life. I can't accept who I am or what I am. Hating myself is how I've lived all these years. This yearning drives me insane. Honestly, it's so stupid to have to feel like this everyday. Every freaking hour its the same thing. I don't want it. It's a sure thing that I will never need it. I've made up my mind. Never. Hit replay. Never. Now repeat. Never. Say it again. Never. Think about Grandpa. Never. Are you sure? Never. I will never ever let it consume me.

Digging through the pantry was taking forever. Food was on my mind, like always. The white door to the pantry had paint chipping on the floor now. Sure, that needed to be fixed. Though, I don't have money. Not anymore. Being who I am, I'm not able to hold a job. It's not like I don't want to, I just can't. Feeling nothing in the very back of my pantry, I let out a sigh. Groceries, I needed groceries, before I completely lose my marbles. Sighing, I walked across the creaking wooden floors. The light from the windows made me squint. Sometimes, I really hated the sun. Then again, it made me feel alive in way. In a matter of minutes the sun disappeared under the gray clouds. They began to cascade snow on top of what was already on the ground.

Shaking my head, I managed to spot a cracker box on the counter. How the heck did I miss those? Oh right, dense Mikan right here. I rolled my eyes at myself. Being by myself made me this way. What I mean is, it made me secluded. I'm not like the others, never have been and that was the way things were going to stay. I guess most people would think time heals all wounds, but it really doesn't, not when you know you have possibly thousands of years to live. Over the years, I could say I've been pretty sad, though, I make the best out of everything. My grandfather died when I was thirteen. Three years ago, such a long time ago, yet I can remember it like yesterday. Of course, he died in the most peaceful manner I could imagine. Just in his sleep, old age I suppose. Grandpa was all I had, he was my everything, he taught me so much and in the end I've learned nothing. Not that he didn't give the best advice in the world, I just never applied what he said to anything in my life. I appreciate him always trying to help me with my inner struggles. My childhood was pretty amazing, I'm not complaining. Even without my parents around, my life was always happy with Grandpa.

Pulling on my snow boots I thought more about my life. I really had no idea what I was doing anymore. I'm not human. So, why am I here? What the heck is a vampire suppose to do with their life? As far as I'm aware we live for like what- ever? Something like that, maybe it was forever? I can't remember. All I know is that I am tired of living like this. Ever since I was young, I've been afraid of myself. I've always craved blood. Kind of like how a bee craves flowers? Ew, forget that one. I'm not good at similes. Probably should have forced myself to go to school after Grandpa passed. Sadly, I've never been able to do it. Growing up, Grandpa tutored me on his own curriculum. That was my school, just him and me. Now, I don't really do school, I just read my heart out about everything. I'm always wishing I could go to school. Making friends would be pretty awesome. I have friends from the places I go. Such as the grocery store or the fair. People tell me I'm super likeable, I usually smile and feel overjoyed. I've always been that cheerful and naïve girl. I still am, just not as much, the pain of Grandpa's death makes me whither down into sadness.

Inhaling the chilly air, I smiled widely. Today, should be pretty good. I took my usual route, the one right behind my house. Grandpa's house is located far out-of-town, deep in the woods where no one can find it. Surprisingly, it never scared me to be so secluded from everyone. Nature just got to me in a way. The path I take to town in really long, I get lost a lot. I have fun out here in the woods, so its not too bad. My favorite part of this path is that I can use one of my vampire advantages. What I'm talking about is my incredible speed. Now, I'm pretty rusty at these kinds of things, but I can manage pretty good with this stuff.

My body moved swiftly passed the trees. Every once in a while I would have to dodge a tree branch or a large root sticking out of the ground. Ha, everyday I'm getting better at this! Snow whirred past me, some of the flakes hit my face. Which left a tingling feeling on the tips of my skin. Twigs snapped under my feet with every other step; once again I was feeling so free. It reminds me of walking on a lovely cloud. Mere minutes later I was about into town. Funny- its funny how fast those ten miles went. Wow, I didn't even smell any animal blood on the way in. Maybe, I'm finally over this whole blood thing.

The blue letters glowed in the distance: Annie's Place. My stomach turned in knots when I saw the sign. I really needed human food, but I didn't want someone stopping me on my way in. Chatting was not in my agenda this morning. I didn't have time to explain why I was covered in mud and leaves once again. If I didn't get food soon, I might feel tempted to drink some blood. Not human blood, gosh no. Never have I touched my tongue to that stuff. Sometimes, I drink animal blood. I end up crying for hours after I do. All the thoughts flood my head, particularly the one: Monster. You are a monster. An ugly horrifying monster. You should just give up. Give up.

My shopping cart squeaked while the wheels moved. I groaned, great just more attention drawn to me. That's all I need! I glanced over at the familiar cashier. He smiled warmly: "Good morning, Mikan-chan! Haven't seen you in a long time. How's grandpa doing?"

A feel a pain in my chest, "H-he's just swell. How's work?"

Rei only smiles, "Happy to hear that! Oh you know, just the usual."

"I hear ya! Well, I got to get out of here before the storm gets any worse! See you around, Rei." I smile. A feel better than I did seconds ago. Man, Rei and I go way back. I've seen him around ever since I was ten. Whether it was around the town or working, he was always there. The guy made me happy whenever we talked, I don't know what it means, so I just go with it.

After grabbing a few items, which came to a total of forty dollars, I gathered up all my things and made my descend home. This time I didn't go through Rei's line. No, I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, the slight smell of blood was really getting to me. Knowing that he would try to talk to me some more I hopped over to a different line.

Anyway, the snow was harshly falling at this point. Groaning, I hooked the few bags around my left shoulder and took off at full speed. Did I mention how much I loved this? It really is amazing, the best feeling that I had ever experienced. The ground moved passed me roughly. The smile never left my face as I dashed with grace. I'm really grateful that it was snowing so hard today. If it wasn't I couldn't have started to run until I was about a mile into my run. Only because someone from the town could have spotted me running at such an incredible speed. Goo thing for me the snow was beginning to look like a blizzard.

The trees past by me at an alarming rate. I almost hit a tree at the smell of blood. Human blood that is. Almost drooling at the smell, I had to stop and savor it before I nearly killed myself running. Locating the smell was pretty easy. I don't know why it smelt so different this time. Really good, it smelt so good, I could just imagine myself sinking my teeth into- Wait, hold up. No, I'm not going to think like that. Rolling my eyes, I began to slowly walk along the path ahead of me. At this point I was hearing voices, two voices to be exact.

"Brother, I'm so hungry!" A little girl whined.

The teen stopped in his tracks, "And?"

"I need food! Onii-san, I'm already losing energy from the cold!"

"Will get food soon, okay?" The husky voice pierced the air.

"Okay, brother."

Listening in on the conversation was pretty entertaining to say the least. I was trying my best to stay as quiet as possible. For some reason these two were on my path. No one every wandered up here. The only places it led to was my house and more woods. So, the question was, what were they doing here? I didn't think anyone else knew about this path. Grandpa made sure I kept the path a secret. He would say: "We don't need anyone bothering us and possibly discovering our secret, Mikan." My only response was to nod at him. It was one of those times where he had made things clear. As a kid, I would forget about the dangers. The risks that are involved with being a vampire. How people cannot understand or even comprehend us.

While the two kept on talking ahead of me, I decided to do something utterly stupid. Using my full speed to get around the two without being detected failed. Their scents overwhelmed me so much. I lost my focus and hit a tree ahead. The crash I made sent the forest into chaos. The silence was completely gone. Echoes from my body coming in contact with the tree. Dizziness overwhelmed me while I heard little footsteps rushing towards me.

"Lady are you okay?" I found myself staring into small crimson red eyes.

"Huh?" I shook my head, "Yeah, I'm alright."

I huffed noticing all of my groceries had scattered around the path. The little girl drooled while looking around. It made me want to laugh. A sudden rhythm of feet dashing up caught my attention. I looked up at the breathing taking sight. A boy, about my age was jogging towards us. His raven hair flopped back and forth in the wind. He wore a thick black jacket with regular blue jeans that fit him very nicely. But, oh, his crimson red eyes really pulled his whole look together. I could smell his blood pumping though his veins. For some odd reason I could hear his heart beating. The interesting part was I had never experienced being able to hear someone's heart before. Heck, I wasn't even close to the guy. I don't know why these two smelt so good in particular, but I was really going crazy.

The boy turned and glared at us, "Aoi, don't you dare run off like that again!"

Aoi frowned, "But, brother! I smelt food and we need food!"

I stood up and dusted my clothes off. In a swift movement the boy pulled Aoi away from my range. I gave him a funny look; what was his problem? Now, the little raven haired girl stood behind the taller boy. He was so protective, it was almost strange. I didn't comment on Aoi's explanation for a minute while I grabbed the last of my groceries. Not caring if I mixed up my items. "You know, if you guys need a meal or maybe a warm place to stay I don't live to far up from here." Why was I feeling so giving? Was it their scent? I don't really know. Though, it felt good to offer them something. They looked desperate.

He scoffed, "Look, we don't have any money. So piss off."

My blood boiled, "No, you look here! I'm not running some bed and breakfast. I was offering it up for free."

"And why would you do that?" He glared, "Oh, let me guess, your out to get us too. This is just great!"

"Huh?" I was dazed for a moment. "Geez, all I'm trying to do is be nice. I mean it's suppose to get below twenty degrees tonight and from the looks of it you guys are pretty hungry."

"Uh-huh. C'mon Aoi, let's get out of here." He simply turned his back to me.

I reached out and tugged his arm, "Wait!" Of course the arrogant boy ripped his arm away from me and turned to face me. "Take these. If you won't accept my offer at least take some food. I mean, I know it's not much, but its all I can afford. Ha, ha." I held out my grocery bags to him while gently laughing and rubbing the back of my neck.

He raised an eyebrow and was silent for what seemed like minutes. Though, he didn't take the bags I was trying to give him. After a minute or so he spoke, "I don't want your groceries." He sighed as though debating with himself, "Oh hell, take us to your place before I change my mind."

A smile broke out on my face, "Really? Well, okay. I have to warn you it's still quite a walk."

The raven haired boy just made a funny noise: 'Hn'. While Aoi bounced up beside the teenage boy. We all slowly made our trek through the snow. Don't ask me why I made the choice to invite strangers up to my home. I guess I just felt for the two. What a life, no home, no food and the bitter cold. I couldn't imagine it.

.

..

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Damn, they smell so good. Oh so good.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe leave a review or some feedback?

Until next time,

August Passion. (: