Not Much Skin
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"Naegi's hands were ugly… because I made them like that." Set post-game in a universe where they're fighting against despair. Written in Kirigiri's POV.
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It was a small price to pay for survival. So then why do I feel like it cost more?
We were trapped in a collapsing building. There wasn't a statement that would more accurately describe our predicament. In mere minutes, the building was falling into ruins. However, this was not the time nor the place to panic. At the moment, I cannot pinpoint the source but I can only assume that our coordinates were leaked. Despair was now claiming us. More and more of its heretics were barging in and were imprinting on everything whatever meaning of despair each had. They were thorough for a chaotic amalgam of people. And it was quite unfortunate that I thought of this but I could only believe in facts.
All I could see were humans but no humanity.
But it was also for this fact that I knew that I just had to do it.
"I'll handle the data." I calmly announced and I broke into a run shortly after.
Footsteps followed me, looking back, it was my partner running out of breath. I expected no less from him to pursue me. "No way! That's too dangerous!"
"My life is not worth more than the lives of humanity." I simply stated.
He sighed or at least did something akin to one can possibly do while running. "I can't talk you out of this, right?"
"I'm certain that it would prove fruitless." I answered.
"Alright." He said more to himself than to me, then he quickly matched my pace of running just so we could make eye contact. "Up until now, Kirigiri has always made the right decisions. Because unlike you, I don't really think things through. I've made up my mind too. I'm coming with you."
"That's not necessary. I can take care of myself." I was not weak nor am I the type who needed protection.
"But I want to. That's because we're friends." He grinned. "Friends stay by each other's sides."
He reached out his hand toward me. And I did what any other person would do.
I gave him a high five.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
There was only the two of us in the room.
Thankfully, we were able to detect the intruders early so the top floors were still unaffected. We were fast and lucky enough to reach the Data Room without any conflicts. It would seem that everyone else in the floors we've passed through have already evacuated. It may be better this way since we could lessen the number of casualties.
Our goal was to save all the data in an encrypted storage device and erase all of its traces in the database. Only two persons know how to handle the data system and one person just so happened to be out on the job. I, being the other person, had taken this role while Naegi was to back me up. It would only take ten minutes. Ten grueling minutes too long. And while I was not the SHSL Programmer of our batch, I have tediously memorized all the necessary commands and contingency plans in regards to our computer network. For the whole duration, I would do continuous precise coding. I could only place my faith in Naegi that he could protect the both of us the whole time.
I should have known that I was asking too much.
With the override key inserted, I immediately went to work. Naegi had electronically locked the doors and jammed them with objects as well. He quickly went to working on a barricade and collecting whatever he could use for defending.
We expected the despair to come barging in on us any minute now but the last thing we expected was them ignoring the doors.
And come from the walls.
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Being robbed of sight was a blessing and a curse.
All of my concentration was channeled into encoding so I zoned out of the battlefield. There were the occasional shouts and grunts which were sometimes Naegi's and sometimes someone else's. Explosions were far off and I could only assume that they were grenades tossed back to them. Particles of dust were scattered everywhere. Wood snapped and splinters flew all over. Metal clanged as they miss their targets. And when they did not miss, the sounds were honestly unpleasant.
Any blunt object struck upon the human body sounded awful with a thud. Even more displeasing was the sound of bones breaking. There were the other types of objects which came into contact with skin like those that cut and slice. And then there were the finer things in life such as shrapnel embedding themselves into bodies. It was not humanly possible to hear all of that while encoding but the aftermath was crisp and clear. The screams muffled by masks were evidences enough. They all sounded the same. Pain.
Everyone in our organization was trained for this. Even Naegi. So a portion of my mind is at ease while he was out there. And while some of us were better than others, we could only be assigned to a branch and participate in actual operations when deemed prepared enough. Fighting skills were one of the basics: both defensive and offensive. But there were things in life that the human body could never champion over.
Things such as guns which were being fired in the room.
Even so, I carried on with my task undisturbed. Some may find it impossible to not feel threatened in this situation but that was not the case for me. I would not go so far as to say that I was at peace but it was the closest feeling to it given the situation. In truth, I was very much afraid. But fear would only hinder me and Naegi's efforts would have been all in vain. Fear was not an option.
Despair was not an option.
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Getting too comfortable led to my downfall.
Nine minutes into the job and the noises died down half a minute ago. It was going more smoothly than expected but this was based on the assumption that Naegi was holding well on his own. That was a grave mistake. If only I had been the slightest bit considerate of him then I should have dodged the moment that I recognized something of a metallic yellow bat coming right at me at a great speed.
Naegi took the hit for me.
No, it would be more accurate to say that he rushed in alarmed by my assailant and narrowly caught the attack with his two hands. Droplets sprayed over my face. I had recklessly assumed it was blood.
It would have been better if it really was his blood.
There was just something odd about the masked assailant. Maybe it was the way he was overpowering Naegi with just one hand holding the bat. Or was it the way that the bat glistened under the room's lights? Glistened?
Upon further examination, I noticed that the bat was wet. It was covered with a thin colorless sheen.
But that was not entirely correct. The liquid languidly dripped only to reveal a horrendous fact of life.
The bat was metallic silver.
There were only a number of translucent yellow liquids that it could possibly have been. And the assailant's other hand was still suspiciously out of my field of vision. Out of the corner of my eyes, something glistened aside from the bat. A shout was about to escape my lips but it never did.
Naegi's scream had beat me to it.
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It was the most frightening sound I've heard.
Light travels faster than sound but even having seen the bat burst and his hands into flames had not prepared me for the spine-chilling scream that ripped through his throat.
For a moment, I froze.
In the next, I abandoned my duty and went to assist him. Sliding, I kicked the assailant and knocked him off his feet. The bat flung to underneath a desk. I took it and gave him back what was his.
Again. Again and again.
To his torso. To his limbs. To his face.
To his hands.
Again. Again and again.
A part of me wanted that to have happened.
It never did. For a moment, I froze. In the next, I continued where I left off.
Naegi's life was not worth more than the lives of humanity.
And yet, my eyes would still sometimes wander offscreen.
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"It's done. Let's go." I instinctively tried to grab his hand but thought otherwise.
I don't think he heard me either. He was panting heavily with this lost look in his eyes. He managed to incapacitate the assailant moments before I finished. But not without effort. The trauma obviously took a toll on his body and with the piled stress from previously fighting against the all the other attackers, he looked like was about to collapse with the building.
Hesitantly, I took hold of the burnt ends of one of his sleeves and gave it a light tug. I was careful not to cause him any further discomfort. I knew all too well the pain that he's been through and I understood that we did not have the resources nor the time to give him first aid. As much as I wanted him to rest and to treat him, we had to keep moving.
I whispered. "Stay with me, Naegi." Stay by my side.
His body was on auto-pilot mode. His steps were heavier than it should have been and it felt like I was almost dragging him. His mind was clearly not in the greatest of conditions but the adrenaline in him and his instincts made it easier for him to run while I led him around.
Running did not require the use of his throbbing red and severely burnt hands.
His meek voice almost startled me. It sounded so weak, so vulnerable. "Did we do it? No, don't answer that. We're going out so that means that of course, we did it." He chuckled softly. It seemed that he was at least making some sense of his surroundings.
Even when delusional, he was as optimistic as ever.
"We made the right decision. I'm so happy that I came with you. Aren't you glad too?"
I never replied. I never looked back. And I would like to think that I never cried.
After that, I aggressively protected my friend.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
I didn't think there would be scars that I would hate more than mine.
Affected members of the assault on the main building were relocated to our different branches. Security was augmented the following days and everyone was instructed to stay alert. It was a tough blow on our organization but we were recovering. That's because we had hope on our side. As long as each of us carried that with us, we could overcome any hurdle such as this event.
After our narrow escape, Naegi immediately received medical attention. I never saw him again after. It has been weeks since then. It would be inaccurate to say that I did not try.
I did. A lot of times.
And I was rejected each and every time.
"There's no point in coming here. Go back."
It was only natural that I would not be the only who wished to see him. It was also only natural that even Togami would be here. However, I had somewhat half-expected that my presence was unwanted but Togami said it rather bluntly. Then again, blunt was not the right word. His tongue was sharp, inconsiderate of feelings, and it minced whatever self-esteem one may have. Sadly enough, I have grown accustomed to this.
"I didn't know he can't accept visitors."
"Oh, visitors are allowed." Then he looked down on me like he would on anyone else. "It's just you he can't stand."
I calculated the odds that this was true. They were pretty unfavorable to me.
"I see. Very well, I shall take my leave." With that, I left for that day.
Only to come back the next day.
"He can't see you today, either."
And the next.
"Try your luck another day."
And the next.
"It's a bit too soon for you to come back again."
And the next.
"You're annoying. Go home."
And the next.
"Oh? Is your talent now the SHSL Persistent?"
Again and again.
"I thought I made it clear that I was asked to tell you to not bother coming here for a while."
Even I had to accept Togami's authority on this but I still checked every day.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
I wanted to hold his hands.
The urge came to me with such intensity that it was bordering obsession. I could not apologize enough for what I have caused him nor will he accept it. Knowing him, he would merely dismiss it as his choice. That was what differentiated him from me. What happened was a situation.
It was a convenient truth.
Today also happened to be a convenient day.
"I can only stand to be in the same room with at most one commoner." He looked not the least bit interested in the affairs. Even if he was interested, he knew his boundaries.
"Thank you." I said. He has been dutifully waiting for me every day to tell me that Naegi was off limits. This act of may be the most considerate thing I'll ever see from him and he would never admit it.
"Do what you want." And with that, Togami quickly dismissed himself from his role and took off. The tapping of his pristine shoes soon faded away.
It was hard to admit it but Togami proved to be a friend as well.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
His hands were gone.
They were buried deeply underneath his blanket. That was to be expected. Even I took caution to not reveal mine. It's been weeks since I've last seen him and I was filled with relief. It would seem that all the other wounds of his were not that grave and some have already healed. But even I already knew this. Had it been otherwise then Togami would have let me in this room much sooner. So for what purpose was I here?
For comfort? Maybe. For whom then? For Naegi or for myself?
I did not want him to experience what I did. I wanted to at least make this more comfortable for him. It would be a difficult thing to adjust to at first but he would learn in time just as I have.
Where he lost his hands, I'll lend him mine.
"Kirigiri! I haven't seen you in a while. I'm glad that you're doing okay." He smiled easily. His smile was a mix of joy and relief. Leave it to Naegi to be worried about someone else when he himself was doing worse.
"Are you mad?"
"Huh?"
I blinked. "Sorry, that was an improper greeting." Composing myself, I thought of what was appropriate to say. "I too am relieved that you're doing well."
"Yeah, I think I can actually get back to work now." He then shook his head. "Enough about me. What were you saying about me being mad?"
"No, it was only a theory. You've been rather… distant with me these past weeks." I calmly spoke. "I thought that since I had a similar experience before, I could offer the most practical advices."
There was so much more that I could have told him but I restrained myself. Getting emotional was not in me. As for Naegi, he looked like he was in deep thought. He was analyzing things as he would usually do when something did not seem right. Then he spoke.
"I think there was a misunderstanding." He nodded to himself. "And his name is Togami."
I could only listen to what he had to say.
"Knowing him, he probably did what I asked of him only in Togami-vocabulary which isn't all that nice to hear. I couldn't ask anyone else though since he was the only person available." Tentatively, he asked. "Did you think that I didn't want to see you?"
I blinked. "The possibility came into mind."
"You've got that wrong." His smile now had a slight hint of amusement. "There's also another reason why I chose Togami." He shifted underneath his blanket and slowly, inch by inch, his arms were being revealed.
Naegi's hands are ugly… because I made them like that.
But when he showed me his hands, there were absolutely no traces of the scars.
They were gloved.
"Now your pair won't get lonely." He smiled smugly.
And all this nervousness and worry washed right off me. I had forgotten how exceeding simple his mind worked and at times, childish even. And to think that I was worked up over nothing, I must be more affected than I initially thought. To Naegi, scars were simply scars. Nothing more and nothing less. He was a person who does not move on but was ready to accept any burden for the sake of his friends. Things such as burnt hands did not bother him at all.
He was just too kind.
"For such a trifle reason, you kicked me out of visiting you. That's just mean." I could not stop the ghost of a smile that formed on my lips. "You should watch the company you keep. Togami might just be rubbing off on you."
He chuckled lightly. "I wanted to surprise you or something like that." He teased. "Besides, I honestly didn't think you'd worry over me like that."
"You think too lightly of me. Are you sure you're fine?"
"It's alright! They're just scarred not broken. I can still keep up with you."
"I'm not promising I'll give you any special treatment."
"Of course not. I want us to be on equal grounds."
And sometimes, he also says the kindest words.
"I look forward to continue working with you. Please take care of me."
He reached out his hand toward me. And I did what any other person would do.
Holding hands was not all about the skin to skin contact.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
Omake: TELLING OFF VISITORS
Togami: Naegi asked me to tell you something.
Kirigiri: What is it?
Togami: Isn't it obvious? Tell her Naegi!
Kirigiri: …
Togami: …
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Just like in my other fic. This would be a friendship multi-chapter fic. You could interpret it as romantic if you'd like. In the event that I do write a shipping chapter, I'll indicate it as so.
I am open to suggestions. HOWEVER NO SPOILERS PLEASE. NO SDR2 or DR0 SPOILERS.
Tell me what you think. If I know that people actually do read this and they're interested then hey who am I to not update faster?
Thanks for reading. Drop by a review because the traffic stats would tell me that you've been here. Upupupu!