This is a request for tumblr user arendellesque: "Can you write a rotbtd fic in which Jack and Flynn will not stop pranking everybody… until someone gets hurt?"
It's All Fun and Pranks
"You really don't want to look in the mirror."
"Are you absolutely positive?"
"Merida, I swear, if you do, somebody's going to die…although, somebody's been dyed."
"Astrid…what did you do?"
"It wasn't me, I'm telling you the truth here. Just…"
"Give me the mirror."
"Merida—"
"Give. Me. The. Mirror."
Astrid hesitates before handing the Scot the mirror.
"I'm gonna go duck for cover."
Astrid barely makes it out the door before she hears the mirror shattering against the bathroom floor. She jumps behind the couch and grabs the blanket, hoping Merida won't catch her there.
An enraged Merida bursts out of the bathroom, eyes narrowed, looking for Astrid. She pushes strands of her green hair from her face.
"Astrid, what did you do to my hair?!"
"It wasn't me! I swear to Odin!"
"Somebody touched Merida's hair?" Rapunzel asks, peeking into the room from the kitchen. Merida turns toward Rapunzel. The blonde girl covers her mouth to keep her amusement from showing.
"Did you do this, Punzie? Do you think this is a game?"
"It wasn't me," Rapunzel replies, raising her hands defensively. "And I know it wasn't Tooth, either. Astrid's denied any involvement, so who do you think it could be?"
Merida pales.
"They…they don't even live here. They live…"
"Next door," Astrid points out.
Merida pushes up her sleeves.
"Where are you going?" Rapunzel calls after her once she sees Merida grab her bow.
"I have some business to take care of."
Astrid and Rapunzel watch her slam the door behind her. Astrid arches an eyebrow.
"Should we go after her?"
"She brought the bow. I think we have to."
…
"JACKSON. OVERLAND. FROST."
There's a scuffling noise upstairs. Merida's eyes narrow again as she storms up the stairs of the boys' house. She sees Hiccup get pushed out of one of the rooms. A clicking noise sounds, and Hiccup fearfully turns toward the Scot.
"Merida, hi! Uh…didn't know you were here…"
"They left you to deal with me, didn't they?" Merida asks. Hiccup nods.
"I swear, I had nothing to do with your hair. I told them not to do it, but they said you wouldn't retaliate because you would be too busy trying to get your hair back to its normal color…please don't hurt me."
"It's not you I'm going to hurt," Merida snaps.
Merida goes up to bust down the door behind Hiccup when she hears the front door open.
"Hiccup, where's Merida?" Astrid calls up the stairs.
"About to break a door," Hiccup calls back.
"Well don't just stand there, stop her!"
"Honestly, I told them not to do it. They had this comi—"
"STOP HER!"
"Alright!"
Hiccup hesitates before her grabs Merida's arm and pulls her back. Merida glares, trying to wrench her arm from his grasp. Astrid thunders up the stairs and grabs Merida's other arm.
"Ugh, where are Punz and Tooth?" Astrid grunts, pulling Merida away from the door. Rapunzel and Toothiana come flying up the stairs.
"Let me at Flynn and Jack!" Merida protests. "They need to learn the consequences!"
"I told them there would be consequences," Hiccup mutters, helping Astrid to pull Merida back. Rapunzel takes the bow from Merida's hands while Toothiana takes Merida's arrows.
"These are for archery, not hurting people. How many times have we told you this?" Toothiana scolds.
"They touched my hair!" Merida shouts.
Jack Frost hesitantly opens the door. Flynn Rider pokes his head out.
"Are we missing something?" Jack asks with a smirk. "Oh, hey, Merida's hair magically transformed into seaweed, huh?"
"That's it!" Merida yells, managing to escape her restraints. She lunges at Jack. Hiccup and Astrid seize her arms again. Jack and Flynn pull the door shut, but they can't lock it before Merida yanks it back open.
"You touched my hair, Frosty!"
"He did too," Jack says, pointing at Flynn.
"It was his idea, though," Flynn says. Jack glares.
"Flynn!"
"Guys, maybe it'd be better if you stop pranking us. Merida especially," Rapunzel suggests. Jack arches an eyebrow.
"Stop pranking? I can't guarantee that…but we'll try our best to stay away from the sea monster."
"JACK!"
…
"Alright, Astrid is the only one home. How long do you think it'll take her to notice we switched the door?"
Jack watches from Merida's room. Flynn pokes his head out from Rapunzel's room.
"If she gets in her room and doesn't notice, I'd say we lock it and run. Once she hears the click she'll realize something is up."
"So when does she come into her room?"
"She won't stay away from her room too long. Her dash on Tumblr will fill up rapidly and then she'll have to sit there and scroll and it'll get slower, and she's got a lot of stuff to do today. I'd say give her a few more minutes."
"Astrid has a Tumblr?" Jack asks.
"Yes, and it's honey-hatchet-astrid. That's another prank for another day. But anyway, she'll be—"
"Oh, hush, I see her," Jack says. He pulls the door closed, leaving just a sliver to peer out of. An unassuming Astrid comes running up the stairs with a bowl of popcorn. She walks into her room and shuts the door behind her. Jack waits a few seconds before creeping out of Merida's room. Then, in one swift motion, he pushes the lock on the door and starts running downstairs. He motions for Flynn to follow him.
"Hey!" Astrid cries from the inside. "What the—JACK FROST AND FLYNN RIDER! YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO OPEN THIS DOOR!"
"Jack, should we let her out?"
"She's not as dangerous as Merida. What damage could she do?"
Jack lingers on the stairs.
"Five…four…"
"Jack, should we be concerned?"
"Nope."
"Three…two…"
"She sounds mad," Flynn says. Jack nods.
"Definitely."
"One."
Jack grimaces when he hears Astrid throw herself against the door. The door wobbles.
"Does she have anything potentially harmful up there with her?" Flynn asks.
"Just a baseball bat…that's metal."
Jack and Flynn exchange a glance when they hear Astrid throw herself against the door again.
"She can't possibly bust it open, can she?" Jack whispers.
"She and Merida are best friends, Jack. What do you think?"
"We should run."
The door busts open. Jack and Flynn take off running down the stairs and out the front door. Astrid follows closely behind, waving her baseball bat wildly.
"C'MERE!" she yells. "Let me teach you a little lesson about breaking and entering and then CHANGING SOMEONE'S DOOR!"
Jack and Flynn take off down the street, with Astrid hot on their heels.
…
"They locked you inside your room? How? The door doesn't even lock from the outside," Merida says to Astrid the next day. The archer fiddles with her hair – still tinted green – while she listens to Astrid explain what went down yesterday.
"Well, apparently, when I was outside, they managed to switch the door with another one – jeez, they work fast – and the door happened to lock on the outside. When I came inside I didn't hear them or see anything, and I had stuff to do, so I went into my room and shut the door. After a few seconds I heard a click, turned around, and saw that there was no lock on my side. I heard Jack and Flynn running down the stairs, and I ended up having to break down the door to get at them. I chased them five blocks before they lost me."
"I'm surprised they didn't jump into Flynn's car and drive downtown."
"They wouldn't have had time because before they got the engine going I would've busted their tires and smashed the windshield."
"Excuse me?" Toothiana interrupts, poking her head into the kitchen. Merida and Astrid lift their heads.
"Yeah, Tooth?"
"Has anyone seen my favorite dress?" Toothiana asks, wringing her hands. "I have something I need to do tonight and my dress is missing."
"The feathery one?" Merida questions. Toothiana nods.
"That's the one."
"Can't say I've seen it," Astrid says.
"Neither have I. Sorry, Tooth. Have you asked Punzie?" Merida says.
"She hasn't seen it."
"You all know what this means, right?" Astrid asks.
"We're off to interrogate Jack and Flynn, aren't we?" Tooth asks with a sigh. "Alright. Let's go. PUNZIE! WE'RE GOING TO THE BOYS' HOUSE!"
"Coming!"
…
"Oh. My. Gosh."
"Well, this is quite interesting, isn't it?"
"Toothiana…"
Toothiana doesn't say anything as she walks up to her dress. Astrid, Rapunzel, and Merida bite their lips. Toothiana looks at the now-gluey feathers. Some feathers lie scattered on the ground. Patches of black where the feathers would be polka-dot the dress.
"They made a bird sculpture from my dress."
"Ana…," Rapunzel says hesitantly.
Toothiana gently takes her dress from the bird sculpture and tosses it to Rapunzel.
"It's gonna take a lot of sewing and designing to get that thing to better than good-as-new. Bring it back home. I have some choice words for Flynn and Jack!"
"Tooth, don't do anything you'll regret," Merida advises.
"I've had enough of those two pranking us!" Toothiana shouts in exasperation.
"Now, Tooth, listen. Maybe tomorrow they'll stop. I have a feeling they'll stop tomorrow, so let's just wait and see what happens. It's not like them to prank the same person twice in one week, anyway. Let's just go home for now. We'll give them a piece of our minds later," Rapunzel says gently, placing a hand on Toothiana's shoulder. Toothiana sighs.
"Alright."
…
"You're really not going outside for your archery club until you've drained all of the hot water in the neighborhood?" Rapunzel asks. Merida inspects her hair in the mirror.
"Nope, not going outside. I need to get the green out of my hair. Then we need to think of how we can stop Jack and Flynn from pranking people."
"I know. Three days ago they colored your hair green, two days ago they changed the door on Astrid's room and locked her in while she was home alone – and now we need to pay for the repairs because she ended up breaking the door – and then yesterday they took Tooth's favorite feathery dress and made a bird sculpture out of it," Rapunzel agrees.
"I wonder what they'll be doing today. There is no way they're victimizing you. Flynn likes you too much and Jack is your best friend. They've already noted not to mess with me or Astrid, and pulling pranks on the same person two days in a row isn't their thing," Merida says.
"Merida, do you know who that leaves?"
Merida turns around.
"Hiccup. It leaves Hiccup."
"And you know what they'll probably go for, right?"
"His Night-Fury motorcycle."
Merida drops her hairbrush.
"That thing is his BABY!" she cries.
"Go get dressed, Merida," Rapunzel says. "We need to make sure Hiccup gets out of town before they can strike."
…
"Astrid, where's Hiccup and where's his bike?" Merida demands.
"I don't know, I—"
The four girls in the room stop when the phone rings.
Toothiana is the one who picks it up.
"Jack?"
"Tooth, it's Flynn and I."
"Jack, where's Hiccup?"
"That's actually what I called about…"
Toothiana looks at the other girls, worry etched into her face.
"Jack…what happened?" she asks slowly.
"There was a motorcycle crash…"
Toothiana drops the phone.
"Tooth! What is it?" Astrid asks.
"Motorcycle crash," Toothiana whispers.
"PICK UP THE PHONE AND KEEP TALKING TO JACK! YOU DON'T JUST DROP THE PHONE WITHOUT GETTING ALL OF THE INFORMATION!" Merida shouts. She storms over and grabs the phone from the floor.
"FROST, what the hell did you do?"
"We kind of messed a little bit with his cycle…"
"YOU TOUCHED HIS BABY, JACK."
"Yeah, I kind of realized a little too late. Listen to me, Hiccup's in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He's kind of hurt…"
"Kind of hurt! KIND OF HURT! What do you mean kind of hurt?!"
"His left leg. It's real messed up. Deep cuts. Lotta blood lost. It knocked Hic unconscious. Good thing, because he would've probably had a heart attack. Merida…the paramedics were saying that it would probably have to be amputated before he gets blood poisoning."
"Jack Frost, Flynn Rider, you two are idiots. You'll be lucky if I don't rip you to shreds on spot. We're on our way to the hospital now."
Merida slams the phone down on the receiver and tosses Astrid her car keys.
"Where are we going?" Astrid asks, eyes wide.
"The hospital. Step on it."
…
Flynn is the first person the girls see when they enter the hospital. He paces around the waiting room anxiously.
"Flynn!" Rapunzel calls, running up to him. "What's the word on Hiccup?"
"He's in surgery. Jack's beating himself up."
The group looks behind Flynn to see Jack, sitting in one of the chairs, head in his hands.
"Jack?"
Tooth is the first one to walk up to Jack. He lifts his head slowly. Tears run down his cheeks.
"Jack."
"This is all my fault. Nobody blame Flynn for this. This entire thing was my idea. He was just going along with it. Now, Hic's in surgery. They're definitely removing his leg from the knee down. He's gonna get a prosthetic. When he gets out of surgery, he's gonna kill me. I'm never gonna live this down."
"What were you thinking is what we want to know," Rapunzel says softly. "You were fully aware that Hiccup rides his motorcycle everywhere. Why would you even choose to mess with it? I thought you would've known it was dangerous."
"He checks his bike over every time he leaves. Like, full inspection. I thought he would do that this time, too, but he was in a hurry to get where he was going, and I guess he didn't check it over."
"Where would he be going that he would be in such a big hurry?" Merida asks. Flynn pulls a flier from his pocket.
"He realized a little bit late today that they were having the adoption thing today. He's been really wanting a dog. He had a ride-along attached on his motorcycle last week for the adoption event. He overslept and realized it would be almost over by the time he got there."
"He was going to get a dog…and you guys ruined that, too," Astrid says.
"No, I did. Flynn warned me…but then he gave up when he realized I wasn't stopping."
….
"So…how is he?" Toothiana is the one to ask the nurse.
"He's doing alright now. We almost lost him twice during surgery—"
"Twice?" Jack chokes.
"Yes, twice. He should stay here for about a week. He'll be getting his prosthetic soon, as early as tomorrow, even. He's asleep right now, and we'd like to keep it that way until tomorrow."
"They almost lost him twice…," Jack mumbles.
…
The next day, Jack wakes up earlier than everyone else. He throws on a pair of sweatpants and his sweatshirt and heads out the door. The group agreed to visit at ten, one hour after visiting hours started. Jack decided once that short meeting had concluded that he had to be there before everyone else. That meant waking up early and going at nine.
Jack takes his skateboard down to the hospital. He tucks it under his arm when he goes inside. He grabs a visitor's pass from the lady at the desk and goes up to Hiccup's room. He finds Hiccup still sleeping. Jack takes a seat in a chair in the corner of the room and leans his skateboard against the wall. Every once in a while, a nurse comes in to check on Hiccup. She nods toward Jack. Jack doesn't pay her much mind, other than one nod back the first time she comes in.
It's almost ten by the time there's movement from Hiccup's hospital bed. The teen blinks slowly, taking in the sights all at once. He jumps when he realizes he's not in his motorcycle in his t-shirt and sweatpants from yesterday, but rather in a thin hospital gown in a hospital bed.
"Jack, what happened? W-Why am I in the hospital?"
Jack sucks in his cheeks.
"Hic, you have to promise me you won't freak out."
"Freak out? Jack…what happened? I need to know. One minute I'm on my motorcycle on the way to the animal shelter and the next minute I'm in the hospital. And I ache everywhere. Tell me."
Jack sighs.
"The next person Flynn and I decided to prank was you. It was entirely my idea, and Flynn tried to stop me. I just messed with a few things on your motorcycle because I knew you always checked it over and then wonder what happened to the things. Nobody told me that yesterday was the adoption event, and you planned on getting a dog. I didn't realize you were running late and wouldn't check your motorcycle."
"Jack…you messed with my motorcycle?"
"I'm not finished. It gets worse."
"It gets worse? How—"
"Flynn and I were following you from a few cars behind when your bike just kind of…fell apart…sort of. You ended up hitting a telephone pole and knocking yourself out. The impact brought the pole down and smashed your bike. There was a lot of blood, Hic. You had to go in for surgery immediately…and they…they almost lost you. Twice."
"I almost died on the operating table twice?"
"There's something else you need to know."
Hiccup, slightly shaking, looks Jack in the eye.
"What else?"
"Your left leg got amputated from the knee down. You have to get a prosthetic."
"I have to get a prosthetic…," Hiccup whispers in shock. He lifts his blanket to see one of his legs bandaged at the knee.
"Jack…I have to get a prosthetic…my bike is totaled…and I never got a chance to get a dog…"
Hiccup's gaze becomes downcast.
"Because of you."
"I'm so sorry, Hiccup. I didn't realize that the one day I chose to mess with it, you wouldn't check it. If I had known—"
"Jack, that's not the point. I trusted you to never touch my stuff in the first place. You don't touch anyone's stuff without consent. Not Merida's shampoo treatment, not Astrid's door, not Tooth's dress, not my bike. You don't touch anyone's stuff. If you hadn't been pranking in the first place, none of this would've happened."
Jack's gaze falls to the floor.
"I really am sorry, Hic."
…
The next few months, Jack barely talked to anyone. He stayed in his room most of the day. The pranks stopped once Hiccup landed in the hospital. In that time, he learned of the lasting effects from his other pranks from those four days. Merida missed the meeting where everyone signed up for the archery tournament, and she ended up not being able to compete. Astrid was saving up for an expensive baseball camp, but ended up using most of that money to fix the door. Toothiana missed a very important meeting to get a job, and the position went off to someone else. Hiccup had to spend months in rehab, trying to get his leg to work again and the rest of his body to feel right. Flynn became the go-between for Jack and the rest of the world. He'd bring up food for Jack to eat, so he wouldn't starve, and updated him on Hiccup and the others. Jack barely acknowledged him.
It's today that it's not Flynn who comes up to his room, but rather, Hiccup.
"I'm not in the mood right now, Flynn," Jack mutters.
"It's not Flynn," Hiccup says softly. Jack turns to see the brunette standing in the doorway, leaning on a crutch.
"Oh, Hic," Jack mumbles. He waves him in. Hiccup wobbles slightly on his prosthetic as he makes his way over to Jack's bed. He sits down warily, looking over at his white-haired friend.
"Jack, are you alright?"
"Totally fine."
"No you're not, Jack. Stop beating yourself up over it. I can fix the bike and make some minor adjustments. I can go get a dog another time. Just stop blaming yourself."
"But your leg!" Jack shouts, slamming down his laptop and turning to face Hiccup. "You don't get another leg! You have a prosthetic and you can't even use it fully, all because of some stupid prank I pulled!"
"I know I told you it was your fault in the hospital, but that was a lot of information to take in, and I was scared…and I was just jittery. I really didn't mean that, Jack."
"But it is my fault! It was my idea to mess with your bike and I was the one who messed with it! Now you didn't get the dog, your bike is destroyed, and you lost a leg!"
"Like I said, Jack, I can fix the bike and get a dog. I'll get used to this leg eventually, and maybe even make some improvements to it. Just stop beating yourself up over this. Come out of your room, for crying out loud! Sure, Merida missed the archery. She'll get over it, and there's always next year. Astrid will find a way to get in to the baseball thing – she always does – and Toothiana will get an even better job than the one she wanted."
"But what about—"
"Jack, just stop asking the 'what-ifs.' It's done. Over with. Now, fine, if you still want to stay cooped up in your room, go ahead. I'm going downstairs."
Jack watches Hiccup leave the room. Frustrated, he turns back toward the computer.
"I just don't see how he's all nonchalant over this," Jack mutters. "I still feel bad. I need to make it up to him."
Jack jumps and grins widely.
"I have an idea."
…
Later that afternoon, Jack skates back into the driveway. He finds Hiccup in the garage, working on repairing his motorcycle.
"Hic?" he calls.
Hiccup turns around and sets down his screwdriver.
"Jack?"
"Hey. I still feel really bad about everything that happened. I wanted to make it up to you…"
"Um…I'm kind of crushing on Astrid and I'm not—"
"Oh good grief, Hic, not that! I meant that I got you something."
Jack steps to the side to show Hiccup a wagon he attached to the back of his skateboard. Hiccup's face breaks into a grin at the sight of the creature inside of the wagon.
"You got me a puppy," he says, standing up and grabbing his crutch. Jack nods. "A little black lab."
Hiccup bends down next to the wagon to pet the puppy when the puppy jumps out and up at Hiccup. Hiccup sits down on the pavement, and the puppy jumps up and begins licking his face.
"Jack, you got me a puppy!"
"I figured you haven't been able to get around much, and you were on your way to adopt a dog anyway…so here's how I'm making this up to you."
"He's so cute!" Hiccup says. "Thank you, Jack."