Lost Angel

A coat, a scarf, a bonnet, a pair of snow boots, a couple of gloves and my own arms were supposed to keep me warm. But they didn't reach their goal; not even close.

I was walking around, my feet petrified by the snow that tightened with every step I took, and my face frozen by the cold wind that viciously tried to make me fall. Every time I managed to turn my head, the only thing I saw was white, little snowflakes that hit and stuck onto my body like hail.

I was lost. Lost on a mountain. A high, snowy mountain. I was surprised by the fact I didn't face the lack of oxygen… yet.

It was all Cree's fault. Missy Lincoln thought setting up a base on a mountain like this was a good plan, because "those KNDorks would never be able to even find us in this cold, let alone start a fight." The problem was… neither did I.

About ten minutes, or maybe it was half an hour, I don't know, my teammates got lost from my sight, and I got lost from theirs. I had shouted their names a few times, but the noisy wind had prevented them from hearing me.

And so I had turned up here, in the middle of a snowstorm, trying to find back the camp.

I soon noticed I had to hurry; the storm didn't seem to fall, only grow stronger. If I didn't find a place to hide soon, not only my feet but my complete body would be frozen.

"I'm not going to die," I told myself. "I won't let myself die here, like this."

I lowered my head, because opening my mouth had resulted at least ten snowflakes to penetrate the only warm place on my face. The worst thing was the cold that precluded the ice-cubes from melting, which caused also my mouth to freeze.

"D-Dammit," I muttered, "dammit. If I ever see Cree again, I'll…" I'll… what?

I wasn't able to think anymore, let alone think straight in this cold. I had lost my ability to plan violent things, even though I used it all the time. To destroy the Kids Next Door…

At that moment my eyes caught something different from all the white around me. Something big… something dark… a cave. I could shelter there until the storm was over. That was probably the best solution; staying in the middle of this white disaster would only increase my chance of dying.

Laboriously I tried to pull myself to the cave, but after an eternity I managed to enter the snowless room. Now I only saw darkness, but that was better than the pouring snow.

I pressed myself against the rough wall and moved down, softly landing on the ground. Dang, it felt so cold. But at least less cold than outside. Curse you, outside. All hail inside. Inside good, outside bad.

I glanced at bad outside. Bad outside was blurry. Shit.

I turned my head away, back to heavenly inside. Also blurry. Why, inside? Why did you betray me…?

I knew it was no use to use my B.R.A. and try to fly through the storm. The metal suit was way too badly protected against the twenty degrees below zero in the first place, but now my sight was also starting to worsen. Was I really unable to survive this…?

"S-Screw this," I told the darkness. Surprisingly, I was able to hear myself, despite the wind that was still blowing a few metres away from me. "Screw this whole plan." Screw Cree, screw my teammates, who let me down like this. Screw the KND; it's all your fault, you little brats.

I thought back about my times in the organisation.

'Congratulations, Chad Dickson, you're finally part of the Kids Next Door. You'll stand by our side as Numbuh Two-Seventy-Four.'

I could still hear my own victorious yell I cried out after this announcement. Back then, I would've never thought I'd end up fighting the Kids Next Door, let alone being in a situation like this.

I liked the Kids Next Door, no; I loved it. I loved fighting adults, I loved those cookie-breaks, I loved being admired… And now that's all gone. Just a memory. In fact, I was fighting that memory, ever since those KNDorks betrayed me. They say I was the one that betrayed them, but it's the opposite. How could they let go of me so easily, after all the adventures, all the missions we'd went through, together?

If I didn't watch out, it soon wouldn't matter anymore. For no one, and especially not for me. If the storm wouldn't fall down soon, I had to make up a plan to survive.

At that moment I noticed my body was shivering all over. My skin was covered with Goosebumps. My teeth were busy chattering. I hadn't noticed any of that, I was lost in thought. Warmth… I needed warmth.

I weakly turned my head, toward the deepening emptiness of the cave. I wondered if there was anything in there. Was I alone, or was something spying on me? What if it was someone? What if it were my teammates playing a trick on me?

"I know you're there," I mumbled rhetorically before eyeing the ground in front of myself again. I knew I was turning insane. I wasn't myself; I was changing into someone else… Someone who desperately tried to overcome the power of the vicious cold that surrounded him. All I wanted was some goddamn warmth; was that too much to ask?!

Apparently not.

Barely five seconds after speaking the wind outside changed. It didn't leave, but it still changed. The noise it was making sounded… different. The way of blowing was… slow, revealing. After a brief moment it blew away the snow and revealed something that made my eyes widen.

A shade was staring at me, with glowing eyes. Eyes that were piercing right into my own. I spotted long hair blowing along with the wind, and I could recognise that familiar shape anywhere; it was a kid.

A kid? Here? In the middle of a murdering snowstorm? With me…?

This was impossible. I had to be hallucinating; there wasn't another explanation. Now I was seriously growing mad; I was imagining to be in front of a kid. Even worse, in front of a girl. I bet it was a KND operative, too; since it was my obsession to destroy them. To destroy her…

And no matter how comforting the thought of their doom sounded, the thought of her coming to save me… was more comforting. She was the only living creature in my sight. I… seemed to need her. No, I was forced to need her. And I liked it.

I held out my hand, as if I would manage to reach her that way. But she was standing metres away from me, petrified. And at the same time moving. Probably to make me clear she wasn't frozen, yet.

"Hey," I managed to bring out. My voice sounded rusty; the snowflakes had only half melted by now.

She didn't reply. Goddamn vocal cords. Fucking stuck up throat.

"Hey," I repeated, a bit louder. At least it sounded like to my ears. But my body was half frozen; them probably too. Or not.

I watched her move for real: her legs started to grip in the snow, stepping closer to me. Soon she was only one metre away from me.

My arm was still held out, starting to paralyse. That didn't come as surprising; it was half outside the cafe. She felt so close… and yet so far. I was able to touch her, and at the same time I was not. My hand was empty, or was it actually holding her coat?

She stopped to walk. Her pearly eyes were still glancing right through mine. She raised her hand, waved; a smile,… and she was gone. Blown away. Gone with the wind, literally.

I stared at the place she had just been standing, my eyes widened even more. The wind had regained its normal state, again blowing snow. The shade was nowhere to be seen.

Where'd she go?! Was she really just a hallucination? Nothing more than a fallacy…?

I leaned forward, pulling back my hand. As I went to sit on my knees, my face toward the storm, I glanced at the empty glove. Of which I thought it had been holding something five seconds ago. Something… precious.

I placed my hand on the ground, beside the other one, to slowly peek outside the cave. I carefully looked around to see if she was there. But my narrowed eyes didn't spot a thing. Just snow, snow, and uh… What do you call it? Oh yeah; snow.

In disappointment I pulled back my head and moved back to my original position: my back pressed against the wall and my butt squeezed onto the ground.

I looked down, trying to understand what just happened. The problem was that it all happened so fast… The one moment she was there, smiling at me, and the other moment… she was gone. Then I realized something. While I was staring at her, nor during my attempt to find her between thousands of snowflakes, my sight was blurry… Which means I didn't hallucinate. But, could that mean… that she was real?

At that moment I noticed something near and looked in direction of the darkness beside me. On the ground. Wooden planks. A whole bunch of wooden planks. They weren't here before. Then how'd they get here…?

For some reason my brain didn't care anymore. All it thought about was what these planks could give me: fire. And fire is warmth. Warmth is Chad no freezing. Smart boy.

Hastily I took some of the smallest planks I could find between the pile, noticing my skin was shivering again. My clumsy hands started to rub the wood against one another, and soon there was a little flame that turned into a blaze a few minutes later.

I sat close to the fire and felt my body melt; slow and sure. I watched the Goosebumps fade away and sighed in relief at my silent teeth. I was saved, for now.

Suddenly I heard something, which meant my ears were working again. I spotted some movement from deeper inside the cave. A few seconds later followed by growling. This wasn't good. "Hello…?"

A gasp, a yell, and I jumped up my feet. A snow-white bear was staring at me with dark-red eyes, glaring. When it growled twice as loudly as just now I realized I had to do something if I didn't want to get eaten. Too bad I wasn't frozen; it could've ruined its appetite.

My first thought was to use my B.R.A. to attack that beast, but I knew I still wasn't able to stand a chance against that bloody cold from outside. And inside too, since it double-crossed me. Thanks a lot. Then my eye caught the fire and my hand got a hold of one of the burning planks.

"Back off!" I snapped, my voice raising. I knew it was because of the cold and my fear and not because of my urge to scare it away, and apparently the bear sensed that too as it slowly approached me, ready to attack and tear me apart.

"Back off!" I repeated upset. I started to wave the plank in front of me like a mad man, which I knew I was. But I had to get away from the bear somehow; I was not planning to die here, remember?

Apparently, the bear didn't care about what I was thinking, nor it turned scared by the fire. It continued to walk closer to me, every step signing that I had to get out of here. I wouldn't be able to win with fire only; even if I succeeded to scare away the bear now, it'd come back sooner or later. And unless that mysterious shade from before returned within the next ten seconds and this time did try to save me, all I had to do was wait for my life to end. I couldn't let that happen. Rather freeze to death than being eaten to death.

And so I ran for it. The plank on fire tight in my hand. My legs trying to get a grip through the cold and hard snow that was still covering the ground.

I could feel the bear had been following me ever since I left the cave: my only source of warmth. And the fire wouldn't be able to last long in the storm. Soon I'd return to how my nerve-racking position started. Don't think about that now! Don't think about it, Chad! You gotta get away from that bear now, that's all that counts!

It surely was everything that counts; the animal was still right behind me, but I couldn't see it nor hear it approach because of the snowstorm. I realized this would be the perfect chance for it to attack me because I couldn't even spot it.

At the moment I was aware of that I felt how my desperate thoughts didn't matter anymore.

I tripped.

I tripped because of the snow that had gripped onto my feet, just like before. And this time I couldn't get my foot out. Not only terror ran through my veins, but also pain as I heard a soft crack underneath my leg while I fell and landed in the snow. Damn, it was so cold…!

While my hands reached for my foot I let out a cry in pain that, to my surprise, managed to overwhelm the noise of the wind for a moment. I was doomed. I was certain I was doomed. The bear would attack any moment. And any moment meant now.

When I finally managed to spot it through my eye corner, it was less than a metre away from me. My eyes were widened; my voice was gone; my heart had stopped beating.

And yet I managed to roll away and escape from its claws, just in time. I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die…! flashed through my crazy mind.

Finally I found my voice back and felt my pride fade away. For the first time, ever since I joined the KND, I did something I'd never done before: I screamed for help. As hard as I could; even though that didn't sound hard at all.

But I knew it was useless. There was no one here, except for a cruel bear and a soon late me.

My body was yet again frozen, and I knew that even though my torch was still slightly burning, I was this time petrified by fear. I watched how the bear approached me like it had done in the cave: slowly and warning. But this time I couldn't even run anymore; my foot was sprained. And I was about to die. If not because of the bear, because of the tearing cold.

I had no choice but to go through the freezing arrows that penetrated and pointed right through my skin, ripping every part of my body. At first it didn't even hurt, but now I realized what real torture was. Please, make it stop! Let that bear kill me! For God's sake, stop that fucking pain!!

Before I even noticed, my wish got fulfilled. But not the way I expected it to.

Using half closed eyes I attempted to watch how the bear started to move in another direction, because my vision had turned blurry again. I couldn't believe what I saw; it was walking away. It was leaving. But why…?

Three seconds later I knew why. My sight of the bear soon blinded by a light, that to me came from nowhere. But since my eyes weren't functioning normally, it could be coming from right beside me. Or it wasn't even there.

A sudden warmth I felt proved me wrong. It entered my body, everywhere at the same time, and broke the deadly arrows. It melted the cold that had just been torturing me, gave me evidence I wasn't dead yet. Because so I felt.

And yet, my eyes were still narrowed. Even worse: they started to close. I fought against the warmth that made this happen. I didn't wanna close my eyes! I wanted to know what the hell was happening! What I from now owed for saving my life!

But struggling wouldn't help. The power was too strong. Soon I saw only black, still I was conscious. I tried to reopen my eyes, but I was unable to. Dammit!

"Dammit!" I verbalized my thoughts. "Knock it off!"

I didn't know who, or what the hell I was talking to. I didn't even completely know what was happening. I actually doubted if whatever was the cause of this mysterious event even heard my frustrated words, because – against my will, mind you – my voice sounded muffled like damn. I was surprised to be actually able to hear myself.

At that moment I felt the power that forced my eyes closed fade away, and so my eyelids spread wide open because I was still trying to resist. As well my mouth went wide open when I saw the shade from before, this time standing right beside me. Again that stare. Again that smile. Again that confusion…

"Y-you," I stumbled, staring back at her.

Her smile grew wider at my almost inaudible remark. She could hear anything, it seemed.

I tried to say more, even though I couldn't find the right words in my mind, when suddenly the warm feeling returned. I immediately understood what was going on: she was making this happen. She had scared away the bear, she had created the light, she had healed me from the painful cold, and now… now… wait… What was she doing?!

My fear came back when I noticed I wasn't only turning warm, but also tired. Soon she would make me lose consciousness… but why?

I held up my hand; begged her to stop, but all I could hear was myself breathe. Empty air without a sound. Great. Now she silenced me as well.

I desperately tried to keep myself awake, but soon my eyes closed again. And from that moment I wasn't able to resist anymore. My arm plumped down in the snow and felt paralysed, just like the rest of my body. My returned fear faded away again and replaced with calmness. I felt so tired… I couldn't resist… I wouldn't resist…

The last thing I heard was voices.

-

"You think he's alright?"

"Dude, you saw his foot yet?"

"Yeah man, it's sprained like hell!"

"Would you guys shut it and leave? I already had enough fuss to make when I found him!"

I recognised… those voices… they become more and more clear… my… teammates… and the last one who spoke was…

"… Cree."

My eyes slowly fluttered open, meeting her face as result. She was looking back at me, in a both worried and curious way. I noticed she was wearing about the same outfit as me. Great. I wish it'd just been a dream. Thanks a lot for proving me wrong, Cree.

I noticed a few of our teammates beside her, all three making four pairs of eyes stare at me, along with Cree.

"Chad. You awake," she spoke, calmly.

No shit.

I sighed. "Where am I?"

"At the mountain camp. We started looking for you about two hours ago, and found you five minutes later. You've been out till now, you klutz," she snapped in the same calm tone.

Out…? For two whole hours…? There goes my reputation…

I started to turn my head, observing the tent walls, a bed and a cabinet beside it around me. I realized I was safe. Safe from the cold, safe from the bear… I survived. I didn't die. Wait until I tell 'em that. He-llo, welcome back reputation!

"I see," I simply replied as soon as I could feel their eyes stare into the back of my head. Not a pleasant feeling, I tell you.

I turned back my head toward them. I knew I had to ask them, no matter how much I wished I needn't. I sighed for the second time. "What's the damage?"

The teens grinned. My fists clenched. Luckily they were hidden under the blanket.

Cree smiled at me, sympathetically. I didn't like it. I preferred her victorious grin.

Then she replied. "You're quite lucky; only a sprained ankle. Your skin was all cold and blue when we found you. Why did you leave the group in the first place anyway?"

She spoke that question as if it was insane, and I knew she was right. I tried not to care, though, and answered her with a glare.

"For your information, you were the ones that lost me." I realized how stupid that sounded just three seconds later. Them, apparently, earlier. Now they were all grinning even more, including Cree.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and finally noticed my sprained ankle was covered with something. Probably bandage.

I reminded myself of how I had bothered to move through the storm, and how I had cursed every single one of my teammates. How I had promised myself I'd take revenge on Cree and her stupid plan, and how I then tried to figure out how… but at this moment… it didn't even matter anymore. I was safe. I wasn't dead. That's all what counted to me, for now.

I let my body relax and my head move back upon the pillow, half looking in front of me. The other half was still focussed on Cree and the others. "Can you leave me alone for a moment?"

"… What?"

"You heard me, Cree. Leave me alone. Get out. Now."

I felt like punching them in the face for staring at me like that. It should be a crime. I felt uncomfortable by the way they wouldn't stop looking at me. What was I? Some sort of alien?

Apparently so.

"Dude, are you serious?" one of the other teens, my friend Chuckie exclaimed, moving closer to me. To afford that he had to push Cree away from the bed, which he did. Thanks mate.

"You call that a way for thanking us?" …Piss off, mate.

"Yeah, I do," I replied without a sense of humour. This whole situation was the opposite of humorous in the first place anyway.

I noticed Chuckie was about to protest again, but Cree stopped him by pushing him back and returning to her original position, right beside me.

"No, it's okay," she told; I wasn't sure to whom she was directed. Apparently to me, because she was looking toward me as she spoke those words. "We'll leave you alone for a moment."

"… Thanks," I mumbled a bit surprised. Normally she would've stayed as long as possible, only to tease me. Luckily my painful position had changed her mind.

I watched her lead away the others from the bed while they weakly started to protest again, but luckily she knew how to handle them. In less than half a minute I had all the calmness and silence to think. …Silence to think? It was indeed stock-still. But that meant the storm was over. And that meant…that she was gone.

At least I knew for sure that she was real now, and that she hadn't been a hallucination. In fact, she had even saved me from dying, twice. Not only from the bear… but also from the cold. It was her who had provided that wood in the cave. I didn't know how… but I did know for sure. She'd been with me all along. And for some reason, I felt even now her presence.

I discovered that reason soon enough, when I saw a shadow behind the tent, as close to me as possible. Long hair, pearly eyes… She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"Thank you," I whispered.

She held out her hand, just like she'd done before, and again I did the same. Slow but sure, I managed to feel her now, for real. I even felt some sort of connection, as if she was trying to tell me… that she'd done this specially for me. A kid had saved my life, and neither of us actually minded. I could feel she didn't. And then, finally, as if I'd been waiting for an eternity, her mouth opened; and she spoke.

"You're welcome."