Heads up. The content of this one is pretty much a classic recurring theme on pretty much any fics out there but I just needed to write it coz the feels just hit me so hard.
This was inspired from the fic, The Art of War by LadyOfTheMist27 from here. Its first four paragraphs totally killed me! And I just need to let it out.
To digimondestined, because I totally adore her for her encouraging words and enormous help. I don't think I wrote this well enough but I hope you'll like it. I hope that our budding friendship would last. Cheers!
Greed
27thSky
Kise Ryouta knows he's beautiful. And no, this not just him being vain. He isn't that kind of person. Okay, maybe a little. Just a tiny bit. In his defense though, as a part time model a little vanity is necessary. He's pretty contented with his looks. More than satisfied actually. Most of the time.
Who wouldn't want his looks after all? Natural blond locks that take the shade of gold when the sun hits it just right. Almond shaped eyes that reflected his half-lies and half-truths with the color of amber. A smile that sometimes people dubbed as 'million dollars' (don't believe this though, he does earn a pretty penny with his smile but he doesn't think its par to a million dollars yet). Height that qualified above the average of boys his age.
But aside from a little vanity, Kise Ryouta is also a little greedy so there are times when he wants something else. (Or maybe be someone else).
He sometimes wants teal colored hair, the shade between aquamarine and cyan instead of his honey locks. Round eyes full of innocence and depth with the color of cornflower instead of a precious topaz. A poker face that showed little emotion rather than his almost perpetual smile (he's not poor so he doesn't really need his 'million dollars' smile and modeling was just a hobby). He wants to be petite, huggable and cute not tall and fit.
And the times of greediness usually occur at moments when sun kissed hands ruffle the teal colored hair. Or when navy blue eyes, the shade of early night trails after the owner of the cornflower eyes. Or when a tanned player leans down slightly to accommodate the 20-centimeter difference in distance.
Yes, Kise Ryouta is vain about his looks but he sometimes would willingly trade them because of greed.
(No, it's not because of greed. It's actually because of love.)
Bouts of greed and vanity aside though, Kise Ryouta is content. He's alright with just watching from afar. From taking bits of attention during short but plenty one-on-ones. From keeping all the feelings to himself.
He knows he doesn't stand a chance anyway. The last nail in the coffin was their graduation in middle school. How fitting. Graduations were ceremonies of goodbye after all.
Kise was conflicted. He wants to say something to his teammates. Former, he corrects himself internally. He wants to say something to him. But the look on his friends face stops him. The look of apathy. The look of disinterest freezes him.
He had all the chance in the world to tell him everything a long time ago. When those navy blue eyes had the shade of night just after dusk not the shade of midnight when the moon is not out. Consequences be damned. But it turns out that he's not just vain and greedy after all. He's also a coward. So that day, he walks away without a word just like what his former teammates did. Just like what he did.
On the day of his high school graduation, Kise can't help but feel a little regretful. The same ceremony back in middle school but he wouldn't be there. It was the same feeling back on his first day of high school. Particularly when he was finished for the day and was lounging on his bed waiting for dinner. He realized he should've said something to him back then because in this new school, he wouldn't see him anymore. Not in the class next door. Not in the school rooftop. Much less in the gym for club activities. And his chances were long gone.
By a chance of fate though, he actually meets him that day. Kise's father was unable to attend his ceremony due to work so his family decided to have dinner instead, obliging Kise to travel from Kanagawa to Tokyo after the farewell party of his basketball club.
They were in better terms now, all the drama of their middle school angst behind them so the chance meeting wasn't very awkward. The duo found each other on a street a few blocks away from the station.
"Aominecchi! You have to congratulate me!" Kise cheerfully greeted the tanned ace.
"For what?" replied the navy haired, ever so crudely. Kise's signature pout makes its appearance. "I finally graduated high school, today!"
Aomine simply raises an eyebrow as he took in the blond's appearance, trying to find the truth in the statement.
Kise was wearing a dark blue semi-casual suit instead of his school uniform which was indeed supposed to be the standard attire for a graduation ceremony. "Oh, I had to change out of my uniform because we were going to have dinner with my family tonight and the restaurant has a dress code," hurriedly explained the blond.
As an afterthought, the blond added, "And my buttons were long gone before I even realized it so I had to change whether to I like it or not."
"Are you bragging, pretty boy?" Aomine asked frowning.
"Of course not, Aominecchi! It's annoying if you ask me. I was almost naked by the time my fans were done with me. It was a good thing that Kasamatsu-senpai pulled me out of the mess," narrated the blond almost annoyed.
Unknown to the blond, his statement soured the tanned ace's mood even more. "Well, congratulations then. Good for you. Ours will be held next week and it's a pain so I just want to get over with," countered Aomine with a tone of exasperation.
Did I make him mad even more? Geez, Ryouta. You and your blabbing mouth.
"Thank you, Aominecchi. I'll try to be there for your ceremony," the blond replied a smile still plastered to his face as if he wasn't aware of the fuming navy haired.
"Oh, do you want to come with me? To our dinner? I'm sure my parents won't mind it and I would really like it if Aominecchi's there," asked the blond trying to mask the imploring tone with enthusiasm. Internally, Kise was already berating himself for pushing his limits. Stupid! Stupid Ryouta!
"Well, I would love to," started the navy haired. Kise immediately looked up to the tanned ace, stars shining in his eyes. "But I already had dinner with Tetsu. It was also Seirin's ceremony today," finished Aomine, rubbing his nape sheepishly.
Kise's hope crashed and burned as fast as it rose. Tetsu. Of course, he'd be with Kurokocchi. Kise had to bite the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood to keep himself from bursting into tears in front of his first love.
"Oh, I didn't know that Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi's ceremony was also today. I should send them a message later and maybe a gift," replied the blond as he turned facing away from Aomine.
"Never mind my invitation then, Aominecchi. I'll see you around. Congratulations in advance on your graduation." Kise continued to walk away in hope of not hearing the navy haired's reply.
Kise fervently prayed that he delivered his reply casually enough to fool Aomine. It would've been too embarrassing if Aomine caught that the blond was actually hoping too much for his presence when they were nowhere as close as they were before. Stupid Ryouta. Nothing has changed. You're still nowhere as important as Kurokocchi. As it has always been. Ryouta loves Kurokocchi with all his heart but he's only human. He can't help but be jealous at times. Well, that's nothing new. I guess.
"Wait, Kise. Maybe, I –I " Kise ringing phone cut off whatever the tanned ace was going to say.
"Nee-san? Oh, yeah. I'm on my way. I'll see you soon." Kise hanged up and looked back to Aomine. He was glad he was able to put a considerable distance from the tanned ace and the darkness of night partially concealed his countenance or else his defenses would've crumbled if his amber eyes met the midnight blue eyes that regularly occupied his dreams. "I gotta go, Aominecchi. Bye!" Goodbye. Kise waved at Aomine from a distance, a half smile gracing his lips but his eyes were telling a different story. They were sad and accepting. This time Kise didn't even attempt to put up his half-truths and half-lies. He's just tired. And disappointed. At himself. For being vain yet discontent. For wanting so much to the point of greediness yet too much of a coward to take an action.
This time though, Kise thought, it would be a goodbye. And he'll make sure to make full use of the good in the goodbye even if it kills him so he won't cry even when his inside cheeks was bleeding from biting it too hard. He won't go back to give Aomine the second button that was resting in his pocket even now. He won't stop walking away from the one he wants the most even if every part of his being wants to go towards him instead of away. He won't look back even when he can hear Aomine calling his name.
"Kise, wait!" Kise heard his name being called by Aomine's gruff voice. He was convinced that he imagined the panic that he heard in the tone. And Aomine was closing in which prompted Kise to break into a run. Kise was full time crying now. Sometime in his supposed good bye, his control broke.
"Wait! Oi, stupid Kise! Wait!" Aomine continued to call but Kise did not heed it. He can't allow Aomine to see him like this because once he sees him this way, the questions will come. And Kise Ryouta was too much of a coward to give him the answers so he did the only thing he could do. Run. Away from him with all his might.
Unfortunately for Kise, Aomine was and has always been the better athlete. Aomine caught him just as he was turning towards a children's park. Tanned hands forcefully yanked him back making him stumble back. The sudden momentum forced him to stand on unsteady feet which resulted into falling back on a hard rock chest. Upon feeling Aomine's warmth at his back, Kise immediately scrambled to his feet. Aomine though, was quick to stop him, forcing him to down on the hard ground. By the time their struggle was over, Kise was trapped. He was lying on his back with strong arms bracing at his side and as he looked up, amber orbs met furious navy ones.
"What the hell, Kise! Why did you run? Shit, I think I scraped my knee. You're such a pain," ranted the ace, panting. As he took in his captive's appearance, the navy haired finally noted an unmistakable detail. "Are you crying? Did you get hurt?" frantically asked Aomine.
"I'm sorry, I tackled you. You wouldn't stop and I panicked," continued Aomine, navy eyes scanning Kise's form.
Kise sighed loudly. No use in running away. "Why did you chase me, Aominecchi?"
The navy haired was slightly taken aback with the blond's question. "You looked weird earlier," explained Aomine. "I –I felt that I'd lose my chance altogether if I let you go," continued the ace as he sat up on his butt, bracing a single hand at the side.
"Chance?" Kise asked as he too sat up while inching a bit away from the tanned ace. If Aomine noticed the action, he did not give anything away.
"As I've told you. I was with Tetsu today," started Aomine. Kise can't help the tiny stab he felt upon hearing his friend's name from Aomine's lips. "He was angry at me. He was mad that I was there instead of being in Kanagawa."
A frown marred Kise's face as Aomine's words registered in his mind. "Why would he want you to be in Kanagawa?"
"Who else could be in Kanagawa, you dumb blondie?" replied Aomine, hand automatically rubbing his nape.
"Me? Why would –you" His statement was cut off by Aomine's interruption, "Because it's your graduation, idiot. And you're the type to make a big deal of showing support and attending shit like that. I was actually on my way to the station when I ran into you."
Aomine's explanation only confused Kise even more. "Kurokocchi wants you to attend my graduation?"
"Yes! Idiot Kise! Geez, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I had everything planned out," Aomine stood up and began pacing in front of Kise. "Well, not really everything but I planned what I was going to say at least. Shit!"
Kise in turn, also stood up silently observing the obviously agitated ace. After a half a minute of pacing, Aomine took a deep breath and looked at Kise.
Kise was surprised with the sheer intensity he saw in Aomine's navy orbs. The determination that he saw there was familiar to Kise. It was the same look Aomine had back when he wasn't 'the super scorer' that everyone called him by. Back when there was still opponents strong enough to challenge him.
Tanned arms found themselves in the blond's shoulders while confused amber orbs and intense midnight blue. "Kise, you know that we're friends, right?"
Confusion was still evident in the blond's face but he answered, "Of course, Aominecchi."
The next words uttered by the ace sent a pain so sharp in the blond's heart that his breath was momentarily knocked out and it spread inside him which rendered him speechless. The seriousness and sincerity found in the ace's voice and eyes were unmistakable. Aomine meant every word, registered Kise's mind.
"Well, I don't want to be friends with you anymore."
The blond shook Aomine's hands off his shoulders and turned away. The tears that silently fell from amber eyes went ignored by the owner. Kise simply didn't care anymore if Aomine saw them. How much worse could his situation get after all? Friendship was the only connection he has with the ace and he doesn't have even that anymore. Kise didn't even spare a thought on what he might have done to merit such an action from Aomine.
Kise was about to walk away but strong hands grabbed him for the second time in the night. "Wait, why are you crying?" asked the ace, panic and distress painting his voice.
"Let go, Aomine." The blond's tone was so foreign to Aomine that he reflexively let go of the arm he held. Kise on the other hand, immediately walked away upon his release.
"Wait, Kise," continued by the ace but his words were unheeded by the blond. "Shit," sharply cursed Aomine. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Tetsu said –"
As soon as Kise heard the teal-haired's name, he snapped. Anger he didn't know he kept just bubbled out. He turned so abruptly, even Aomine stepped back in surprise.
"Just, stop this Aomine! I love Kurokocchi with all my heart but –," Kise shouted initially but he caught himself and let out a tired sigh. "But aren't I the one with you right now?" asked Kise, looking straight to Aomine's eyes. "Can't it just be me? Even just for this moment?" Kise internally cursed the imploring tone he was using. Just how low can you really get Kise Ryouta?
Amber and navy blue stared at one another for a few seconds lapsing into a quasi-eternity for both parties but neither one was aware of the mutual experience. Kise was the first one to turn away. He saw a lot in the navy orbs but he cannot make sense of them. He was probably being delusional. Yes, that was it. Because how could he possibly see the familiar emotion reflected in Aomine's face. The emotion that Kise had to live with from the moment a stray basketball hit his head. How could it be there and see himself the object of it?
"It was always you."
The words were whispered so softly Kise would've missed it if it weren't for their current proximity. All he could the next moment was to look up at Aomine with a questioning gaze.
"It was always you," repeated Aomine in a much louder voice this time. "How could you ask that of me when it has always been you."
Kise's breath was caught in his throat when the ace continued, "How could it be possibly be anybody else when my eyes have been following you? When it was your blond hair that caught my attention the first day of school!? It was like a goddamn halo! I mean, how could someone have blond hair that shines like gold?"
Aomine's hand roughly runs through his hair in agitation and looked away. "That day wasn't an accident," finished Aomine.
The words from the ace was making Kise's head hurt. Thousand thoughts were running in his head. He wanted to take the words as they were but he is too much of a coward to accept the implications. Kise reflexively answered Aomine's statement, "What day?"
"Our first meeting. Have you ever thought how I could've possibly lose a ball like that?" Kise's eyes widened upon registering the words. "Yeah," Aomine continued, the familiar gesture of rubbing his nape present in action. "I hurled it towards you to get your attention. And then you were finally looking at me. Not to those fake girls that surrounded you day in and out."
"Your honey eyes were finally meeting mine and I realized it was a bad idea." Kise looked up in askance. "It was a bad idea because when our eyes met I knew it wouldn't be enough and I should've known it too. I'm a selfish and greedy bastard after all." Aomine let out a sigh but a faint smile was visible in his face.
"Because when I saw those eyes directed at me, I saw the walls in there. I realized that you're good at hiding at that one must be close enough to actually see what's behind your secrets. And I badly want to be the one. To know."
Kise heard Aomine chuckle softly. "I'm not being myself, I know. It's not like me to talk about things like this but shit, Kise," Aomnie ran his hands on his face and looked straight to Kise's eyes. "This is almost five years of unrequited love."
Kise was helpless to stop the onslaught of tears that overwhelmed him. He almost tackled Aomine to the ground as he glomped him burying his face at the other's shoulder. Almost shaking hands were clutching Aomine's front shirt. "What does Aominecchi love about me then?" Kise shamelessly asked.
He wouldn't question this anymore. He'll take everything as they are. He wouldn't question Aomine anymore. Not when they finally reached their meeting point.
"There's so many that I don't know where to start," Aomine answered as his hands circled in the blond's waist. The way their bodies melded was so natural, it felt that they have always meant to fit like this.
"Tell me anyway. Your favorites, maybe?" came Kise's muffled reply. Kise felt warm hands gently brushing his hair. "This then. As I told you, it was your hair that led me to you from the start."
Tanned fingertips then ran in the side of Kise's face leaving trails of warmth in their wake until they rested to his chin. A gentle push tilted his head up enough to meet the navy orbs that reflected himself in a way he never saw. Aomine's eyes have always been Kise's favorite shade of blue but Kise decided right then that the exact color of Aomine's eyes that moment was the most beautiful he has ever seen. Kise saw the burning emotion that Aomine felt and he understood that what he wanted was a tall order. The emotions are bursting and that no matter what Aomine tell him in that moment wouldn't be enough to convey everything.
"It shines like gold. Like the glint of my mom's wedding ring when I played with it back as a child. And don't get me started with your eyes. As I've told you, I want to discover everything you hide from them," Aomine softly told him. Kise felt strong arms pull him closer as Aomine continued, "Just now, I know you let your mask down for me but I don't want to see them down that way. Ever." The strong protest Kise heard in the ace's voice clenched his heart tightly. "I don't want to be the recipient of your sadness especially one where I'm the cause of it," Aomine quietly pleaded leaning down to touch his forehead with the blond. "I also like the three centimeter distance between us. The shorter it is the faster I can reach you." Kise found himself smiling on this one. He has never been glad in that moment that he was born tall. He has to thank his father for the good genes.
"I'll take everything else. The wide-eyed happiness. The quiet smile. The pouty one. Hell, even your whining one. I would take your smiles all for myself if I could but I know that I have to share you one way or another so as long as the one's directed to me are the true ones then I'll try my best to be satisfied. Though as I've told you before, I'm a greedy person. I guess I can also take the sad one along with its waterworks as long as I'm not the one causing it." A flash of pain was seen in Aomine's eyes for a moment but it was too fast for Kise to decipher it fully.
"I'm sorry, Ryouta." Kise's breath hitched for the nth time when he heard his name being called by the object of his affection. He always thought that he would only hear those words in his dreams. The involuntary tears that welled up in his eyes was unstoppable. This time though, they were one of happiness. "For whatever pain I caused you. For losing so much time together."
Kise felt gentle fingers brush the tears that cascaded down his face. "Don't cry, please." The last word was full of emotions that Kise felt choked up with the emotions it evoked. "This time it's because I'm happy Aominecchi," replied Kise almost whispering.
"I'm happy that I am me. I am happy that I have these blond locks," Kise continued gesturing to his hair. "I'm happy that I have amber eyes and that I grew up tall. And that my smile was able to catch the attention of the person I want the most."
"And you would always have it," whispered Aomine as he leaned down to close the almost scant distance between their lips. The moment their lips met, Kise felt weightless. Like he was as light as air and it was Aomine's warm lips that anchored him there. The warmth they shared from their lips spread through Kise making him almost giddy. "You're beautiful," whispered Aomine almost breathlessly as he broke the contact. Kise found himself smiling up towards the man that gave him happiness that he thought would always remain as a dream.
Then Aomine uttered the words that was the culmination of everything Kise dreamt and more and he was lost once more. "And I'm glad I fell in love with you."
This time it was Kise who pulled Aomine to close their distance. And Kise savored the taste that was pure Aomine. Of mint and warmth. And breathed the scent that was purely the ace. Of musk and sweat. They were both breathless when they separated. Warm breath fanned their faces and continued to breathe in each other's scent.
Aomine pulled Kise in a tight hug and rested his chin at the blond's head. They stayed at that position to soak in the emotions and the moment they shared. They both silently agreed that they could stay in that moment forever. Having one another's warmth was enough.
Kise was more than willing not to move from Aomine's warm embrace but his ringtone broke the moment. He reluctantly moved out of the warmth and pulled out his phone. His other hand clutched Aomine's hand. Their fingers entwining around one another.
"Mom. Yeah, I'll be right there. And I'll be bringing someone," Kise told his mom on the phone and he was sure that the smile in his voice was very much noticed by his mother. "Okay, see you."
Kise pulled Aomine by his hand towards his intended destination, a smile still plastered in his face. "Oi, Kise. Where are you taking me?" asked Aomine but he still allowed to be pulled by Kise.
"You're going to meet my family," replied the blond with mischief in his voice. The squeak he heard from Aomine was very telling of his panic which led Kise to laugh out loud. The sound of happiness echoing in the deserted streets. As they covered a longer distance, Kise can feel Aomine get heavier nd more reluctant with his steps.
Kise then stopped and looked back at the reluctant ace. His million dollars smile plastered in his face Kise spoke, "Oh by the way, Aominecchi." The blond paused as he pulled the other closer. Leaning in, he whispered, "I love you." And gave a peck to the stunned and speechless ace.
After that, Aomine was evidently more willing to be pulled along by the blond with locks of gold; eyes with the color of sweet honey and a smile that could light up a room. The blond whose value cannot be put into words and the one whom he'll treasure till the end of his tomorows. He'll hoard everything about this blond and keep them all to himself. He's a greedy person after all.
What did I do!? I don't know why this turned out this way. It became really light in the end even though I wanted to have more feels. Sorry for the sucky confession and the mess that came afterwards. I just can't get the right feels for everything here.
Why is it that the KnB fandom, particularly the AoKise shippers have sooooooo many awesome writers? I feel ashamed to line up my subpar work but for the love of AoKise, I'll bear it happily.
Leave me a review, please. (This is also found on my ao3 account under the same username. Feel free to pm me or hmu on tumblr if you don't like leaving a review in public. It really helps me to know what readers think of my works.)