Title: If You Are Prepared
Rating: PG? It's not graphic, but maybe a bit icky.
Notes: A sun is a traditional Japanese length measure, approximately 1.2 inches or 3 cm.

He has made a promise never to forget her, but her sword is the only thing he has to remember her by. He takes it with him everywhere, even sleeps with it. And that's when the dreams begin.

In some of the dreams, the good ones, he is sitting out in the fields with her. A warm breeze blows, the crickets chirp, and he can hear her voice in his ear. "Kaname," she says. "I want to make this a better world, with justice for everyone. Will you help me?"

And every time he says, "Yes," as he always has and always will.

-----

Other nights, though, her voice is ragged and fading. She repeats the same words again and again: "The blood, Kaname, so much blood." He is her, in these dreams; he feels the sharp pain as her husband yanks her by her hair, shudders in time with the knife stabbing her over and over, hears the small high-pitched sounds she makes as she slumps to the floor. Feels her sticky life's blood pouring down her robes.

"Never again," he tells her, fighting not to retch, and "I'm sorry," and if he's fortunate it's over before dawn.

-----

The Shinigami Academy is both more and less than Kaname expected. Hard work and natural talent hold him in good stead, though, and his only serious competition for the highest marks is a Seireitei noble nearly as driven as he.

The good dreams continue, but the crickets in the fields grow louder and louder, until they almost drown out her voice. He starts to hear them even when he's awake. And one day, in the middle of training, he finally understands what they are saying. "Nake, Suzumushi," he says, for the very first time, and everyone in the training hall slumps to the floor.

"They're… asleep?" he asks. In the back of his mind he can hear her laugh.

"Never again, Kaname," she tells him. "After all, isn't that what we promised?"

-----

And yet the bad dreams continue. If anything, they are becoming worse. He starts to see the blood, though he has never seen anything in his life. It envelops him, hot and heavy, while all around there is a great humming. Is he in the field? Is he dying? Is she dying?

Until one night, she says something different. "I've been trying so hard, Kaname. I've looked as far as I could, but I can't keep our promise. Kaname, there must always be blood."

She says this every night for three months, while Kaname considers the situation. He can see no other way out, and so finally, for the first and last time, he bends. "So be it. But if we must shed blood, then we will do so as little as possible."

"Thank you," she whispers, and nothing more.

-----

After that, the dreams fade into each other, until one night he stands alone in an open field, similar to the places where they'd sat so many lifetimes ago. Using something that might be sight, he perceives that the ground here is covered in blood, rotting and fetid. It sucks at his sandals when he tries to move. In some places there is only a sprinkling, the grass sticking up normally, but in others it pools several sun deep. The sky is pitch black.

"Welcome, Kaname," she hums.

"What next?" he asks her.

"I can't see it clearly. But I know its direction."

He asks even though he already anticipates the answer. "And?"

"We must reach bankai."

-----

And then one day everything is suddenly made clear. Once again he returns to the field soaked in blood, the place he now knows to be his own inner world. Though he has yet to fully master his sword, he is learning to control her, and he materializes in a patch that is almost dry.

"Kaname," she says. The crickets chirp more quickly; she knows why he is here. "Have you found the path we must take? Can you see it, Kaname?"

He smiles. "I can."