Super Homer-o
By Beachchickrules
Homer, wearing the clothes of Super Mario, which are blue overalls, a red shirt, and a red cap with an "H" instead of an "M," jumps up into the blue sky.
"It's-a me-a, Homer-o!" he exclaims.
Bart, looking like Toad with a vest on and a red-spotted mushroom head, approaches Homer-o.
Bart informs Homer-o nonchalantly, "Homer-o, Bowser Burns has kidnapped Princess Marge again."
"D'oh!" cries Homer, and he jumps away.
Homer stands at the bottom of a huge, spooky gray castle.
"Wow, that was a tough 200 levels we just beat," he says to Bart.
"You said it. It's a shame I don't have time to thank you personally for saving me each of those 100 times."
"Well, Toad, if you weren't so wimpy, you could actually help me fight! Actually, if you weren't wimpy at all, I wouldn't have to save Princess Marge all the time and I could get back to work fixing my toilet!"
The scene cuts to Homer's bathroom at The Simpsons' house. Water is spewing out of the toilet's pipes and the floor is covered in water. Santa's Little Helper enters, takes a sniff, and faints.
The scene cuts back to Homer and Bart.
"Oh yeah?" Bart challenges. "Well, if you weren't so fat from eating all those mushrooms and fire flowers, you'd fit into those overalls!"
Homer's Mario-style overalls tear and snap and his huge gut pours out.
"Why you little!" Homer begins to strangle Bart. Yoshi, the green dinosaur, approaches.
"Hey guys, don't fight!" Yoshi urges. "Eat some fruit from my Super Happy Tree!"
Yoshi hands Homer and Bart one piece of fruit each. Homer gulps his down.
"Mmm… happiness."
Homer mounts Yoshi and they ride across the castle's drawbridge, Bart following behind.
Homer, Bart, and Yoshi are inside the castle. Candles are mounted onto the walls, casting shadows with their eerie glow. Marge is tied to a chair, wearing a pink dress. She is wearing her hair down with wings on the sides like Princess Peach's, whose hair looks similar to Farrah Fawcett's.
"Enough with the references," Homer cajoles the author, "just get to the part where I save Princess Marge and she bakes me a delicious cake! Mmm… cake…" Homer drools.
Bowser Burns, who is C. Montgomery Burns inside of a spiky turtle shell, enters the room. He is laughing maniacally.
"No offense, Bowser Burns, but you're scrawny," observes Bart.
"Even I think you look pathetic!" Marge says.
"Oh stop your blabbering nonsense! Aren't you supposed to be gagged, you daft layabout of a woman? I'm going to put an end to this numbskullery!"
Bowser Burns pushes a button that reads THE HOUNDS. Seven hounds come in the room, wearing turtle shells. Their hair is styled like the seven Koopa kids.
"Iggy, Morton, Lemmy, Ludwig, Roy, Wendy, and Larry, claw that fat plumber and that minute spotted slugabed to their pitiful deaths!"
Homer was too busy eating a large plateful of pasta to hear what Bowser Burns had just said.
"What's he going to do?" Homer asks.
"Ooh, you are the epitome of insolence, you impertinent glut!" Burns shouts with disgust. "Dogs! -I mean Koopas- get him!"
The dogs surrounded Bart.
"D'oh!" exclaim Burns and Homer-o simultaneously.
"I have to save him again!" Homer whines.
"That's it, if I can't rely on my own Koopa kids, I'll have to dirty my own hands. Charge!"
Bowser Burns turns around and backs his spiky shell towards "Homer-o", but is too weak and frail to do any damage. His spikes barely graze Homer-o's overalls.
"Wow, that was pathetic, you feeble old man. Now to jump on your head and punch you!"
Yoshi runs up to Homer, carrying a KeroKeroCola.
"Here, Homer-o, drink this!" Yoshi says. "It will make you invincible compared to Bowser Burns!"
"You're right!" observes Homer. Homer gulps the cola from its frog-shaped cup. He immediately becomes drunk.
"Come here, Bowser Burnsie!" Homer-o taunts.
"What are you going to do, attempt to clobber me with your fists?" Burns asks, slightly mocking the Mario style of fighting.
"I could do a lot of things if I had some money…" Homer swings his fist at Burns' face and collapses to the floor. Bart is still trying to fend off the "Koopa kids." Marge is watching the whole spectacle from her chair, still tied up.
"I'll just have to save myself," Marge sighs.
Marge's hairspray loses its effectiveness and her hair shoots straight up, back to her usual beehive hairdo. She stands up with the chair tied to her and jumps over to Toad Bart, using her hair to whack the Koopa hounds.
"Thanks Princess Marge!" says Bart.
"I really should hire a bodyguard better than Toad…" Marge mumbles to herself. Toad Bart unties Marge from the chair.
"Well, well, it appears that my blue-haired captive is trying to escape!" detects Burns. "I'll just fix that-"
"No you won't! Hi-yah!" Princess Marge clouts Bowser Burns with her hair. "I never thought I'd ever say this, but it's a good thing I used my weakest hairspray!"
"You said it." Bart utters with a bit of apathy.
Homer-o wakes up. "Huh? What happened?" He starts to panic. "What's going on?"
"Don't worry, brave Homer-o, I defeated Bowser Burns and his seven Koopa hounds using my hairstyle," Marge informs him.
"Yeah, she could be the next Dixie Kong!" Bart remarks.
"Um, I believe Tiny Kong was the next Dixie Kong," says Yoshi.
"Well, anyway, we beat them," Marge says.
"Thank goodness!" Homer says with relief. "I'm going to Moe's."
"You don't need to go to Moe's," informs Yoshi. "It turns out that someone had added vodka to the KeroKeroCola you drank."
"Did you buy it from the tadpoles?" asks Homer.
"Yes."
"That's where you bought yours from in Super Mario RPG, Homer-o! No wonder you fell asleep fighting Culex!" Bart jests.
"If all the KeroKeroCola from the tadpoles has vodka in it, then how did I beat Smithy?" Homer wonders.
"One word: Geno." Bart replies without hesitation.
"Hey, have some respect for Homer-o," pleads Marge.
Homer shakes his fist in air. "Respect me…"
Homer-o, Princess Marge, and Toad Bart had just thrown Bowser Burns' and the Koopa hounds' corpses into the moat when Homer's brother Herb shows up in Luigi clothes, minus the green hat.
"I'm here, brother!" Herb calls out. "It's-a me-a, Herbigi!" Herb says, attempting an Italian accent.
"You're late," Homer notifies him.
"Yeah, we're done," Marge says.
"We already killed Bowser Burns," says Bart. "You missed all the action, just like you did in all the other games."
"Hey, I starred in Mario Is Missing and Luigi's Mansion!" Herb defends.
"Yuck! Those games were awful!" Homer exclaims.
"Yeah, but I hosted the instruction manual for Super Mario RPG!" Herb says frantically.
"Yeah, MY best game! Which you weren't in! Ha ha! I'm better than you! You're not even wearing a plumber hat!"
"That's because I have more than three strands of hair!"
"Don't mock my baldness!" Homer says, crying.
Ignoring Homer-o, Marge says, "You could go to Sarasaland and save my sisters, Princess Patty and Princess Selma!"
"Do I have to?" Herb shudders.