Anime: Naruto
Characters: Gaara, Naruto and Sasuke (no pairing)
Genre: Humor
~I don't own Naruto or anything except for this stupid idea! XD
Ramen, Cactuses and chap stick?
In the far away land of Konoha the all powerful red head Kazekage has yet again been called for a meeting the princess of evil herself the damn Hokage, Tsunade. He didn't exactly hate these meetings with the hard headed woman, well not anymore anyway. It probably had something to do with the fact that the villagers no longer hid from him at the very sight of him nor did the ninjas reach for their kunai. Well that's not entirely accurate since some things never change… Neji. But at least every time he came over Naruto and Sasuke would be there to hang out… well sort of if that's what you'd call it. Anyway our story starts with Gaara as he makes his way towards the village gates of Konoha.
"W-welcome back Kazekage sama" Izumo stuttered out from his usual spot by the gate. His ever present brunette partner sat beside him staring forward stunned at what the scary looking teenager was carrying in his arms.
"Ah… Gaara sama what are you carrying?" Kotetsu asked as he finally snapped out of his stupor standing up from his seat. Izumo sweat dropped as he pulled his curious friend down urging him to shut up if he valued his life.
Gaara nodded in acknowledgment as he finally neared the gate patrol station not really noticing the expressions the two patrollers wore. When the question the chunin asked finally reached him he raised a nonexistent eyebrow and stared down. In his arms he held a peculiarly shaped object wrapped in bright reds, oranges and yellows. He frowned at remembering what it was for and grunted making both guards shiver and look away in fear.
"S-sorry about asking Kazekage-" the bandaged ninja quickly started only to be interrupted by a loud annoying blonde who flew in out of nowhere.
"Gaaaaaaaaaaara!" Naruto screamed out in his usual loud stupid sounding voice. As he got closer to landing he extended his legs before him aiming at Gaara's head. Gaara however barely speared him a glance as he shifted the package lifting the newly freed hand making a sand wall appear in record timing.
Naruto's eyes visibly widened as he saw the wall take shape but before he could react a round house kick threw him out of the way from the impending danger below. Saliva was sent flying out of his mouth as he turned around trying to see who the person was. A hit of black was all he saw before seeing the prince of emo himself, Uchiha Sasuke.
Gaara smirked as he swiped his hand disbanding the wall he'd made. It had been a while since he'd been back with all the work the damn elders had given him and the random crap Kankuro managed to do that increased the paperwork load. It was good to see that at least some things just never change.
"Dude what the hell was that for? Is that how you treat a friend who came all the way here to welcome you?" Naruto yelled out as he tried to get up. Sasuke stood beside the blonde smirking his usual cocky smirk that made me want to throw him at the damn hokage monument.
"Hnn your reflex needs some work" Gaara responded before he set down the brightly colored package in his arm and straightened out his jacket wiping away stray sand grains.
"It does not need work!" Naruto's eyes widened as he spotted the package and he gasped happily. "Whoa what's that? A present?"
Sasuke's eyes wandered over to package as well raising an eyebrow as he looked back at Gaara. 'Present? For who?'
"Hnn… it's a present" Gaara replied as he picked the package up again. Nodding towards the guards who were staring at the newcomers. Upon noticing them the other two turned and waved.
"Hey guys you should probably get going to your missions or leave. You're blocking up the gate." Izumo stated as he turned towards the arriving ninjas at the gate.
"Yeah yeah we were just leaving" Naruto replied sticking out his tongue at the chunins before getting back the mysterious object Gaara possessed.
"So what is it you have there?" Sasuke asked as he began to walk away with Naruto and Gaara following behind him. No one noticed but close beside them hid Hinata behind a bush.
"It's a present for Tsunade for her birthday" the irritated red head replied as he glared at Naruto who began to poke at the gift.
"Ow! Gaara what the hell did you get her? That hurt" Naruto cried as he retracted his finger putting it in his mouth.
"A cactus" a blush crept up on the Kazekage's cheeks as he remembered how he came to the decision of getting her the plant.
~Flashback of four days ago~
"Gaara… hey little bro!" Temari called as she entered the office from her trip from Konoha as an ambassador.
"You didn't knock" he replied not looking up from the paper he was reading.
"Yeah and? So anyway do you know what is in four days?" Temari replied as she tried to push the calendar towards her grumpy younger brother.
"No and I don't care" he placed the paper in the finished pile and took another paper from the in pile. He had been stuck in his office since dawn trying to get negotiations and trading down by midnight so he'd be able to relax in the comfort of his room the next day. Unfortunately kami wasn't on the same page because the news Temari was about to give destroyed that plan.
"Well you should since its Tsunade's birthday and you need to get her something." Temari smiled pretending she hadn't heard her brother's previous response.
"No I don't have to and what is that?" sniffing the air he picked up the scent of strawberries and looked up.
"Got your attention now don't I?" Temari smirked as she placed the rather large box of strawberries on his desk. "I got these fresh from Konoha so if you agree to go wish Tsunade a happy birthday and give her a present you can have them all" Gaara glared at his sister angrily as she waved a strawberry before him. She knew his weakness.
"Fine but you have to help me get a gift" He reasoned getting up to open a window.
"No problem I already got one" Temari placed a brightly wrapped object on his desk tidying up the bow on the top.
"What is it?" Gaara curiously watched from the window wondering how she knew he'd crave so easily.
"A cactus! I thought it would be fitting coming from you so I got the prettiest one I could find" Temari chucked as she tossed Gaara a strawberry. "You'll have to leave soon it you want to get there on time.
"Prettiest?" Gaara caught the strawberry and began nibbling on it. 'Great now I have to go to Konoha'
"Yeah just give it to her okay?" Temari waved as she left through the door.
~end of flashback~
"Whoa wait its Tsunade's birthday?" Naruto screamed out surprising both Sasuke and Gaara who have been off in their own worlds.
"Yeah. Sakura reminded you yesterday Dobe did you forget already?" Sasuke thumped Naruto's forehead as he continued on his way.
"Where are we going anyway?" Gaara asked noticing that they've been walking around for a while.
"Ichiraku's of course!" Naruto cheered pointing at the ramen stand before them. I guess even that doesn't change.
"N-Naruto kun hi" Hinata's shy stuttering voice came from behind them. Everyone turned to see Hinata standing there poking her index fingers together.
"Hi Hinata chan. Wanna join us for ramen?" Sasuke stared at the small kunoichi wondering how long she'd been behind them.
"S-sure" she smiled shyly trying not to faint.
All of the ninjas walked into the sand ordering a normal serving of their ramen that is except for Naruto who order nine bowls. No one bothered to tell him to hold it with the ramen since it was just a waste of time.
"S-so did you all get Tsunade a gift?" Hinata asked as she spotted the bright gift Gaara had near him. Naruto stopped eating at that question and chuckled nervously. 'I know he'd forget'
"Yeah but I'm not telling you guys what I got" Sasuke replied in his cocky ass voice. Everyone turned to the black haired ninja raising an eyebrow (except Gaara for obvious reasons) and simultaneously nodded.
"Really now? You won't tell us?" Naruto asked suspiciously counting to five in his head.
"Get him!" Gaara, Naruto and Hinata yelled at the same time. At that moment everyone jumped on Sasuke searching his clothes and pockets for the gift he'd bought her.
"Quit it now!"
"Look in his kunai holster too"
"Hey stop. Get off you're heavy"
Hinata let out a light "Aha" and snaked out a small tube from Sasuke's kunai holster. Naruto leaned in towards her to try and get a glance as to what the gift could be. Gaara on the other hand was holding Sasuke off from trying to attack the others.
"Chap stick? You got her chap stick?" Naruto began laughing hysterically as he held up the chap stick.
"Shut up at least I got her a gift!" Sasuke yelled as he dusted himself off.
"Hmmm" Naruto turned around and glanced at his stacks of plates before a light bulb lit up. He let out a loud "Aha" before smiling his usual goofy smile. "I have an idea"
Rolling his eyes Sasuke sighed and shook his head. "You can't be serious can you?"
Both Gaara and Hinata face palmed as they watched Naruto order a bowl of ramen to go. They both shouldn't have been surprised after knowing the blonde for so long but even sometimes Naruto was just that stupid.
After that everyone slowly made their way to the Kazekage's building ignoring the strange looks they were getting from the villagers. Once they got into the building they hid their chakra and quietly sneaked up on the door. They heard the whispers of Tsunade and Kakashi inside the office and so they waited outside the door a safe distance away. It didn't take long before Kakashi sprinted out of the door successfully escaping a hundred kunai sailing towards him.
"How dare you think giving me this book of disgusting immature filth was an appropriate gift" Tsunade yelled chasing after the white haired ninja. She stopped upon noticing the blank faces of the teenagers huddled away from the door and cleared her throat.
"What brings you guys here?" She asked before the brightness of Gaara's gift caught her eye.
"W-w-we wanted to give you o-our presents for your b-birthday" Hinata stuttered out as she recovered from the shock.
"Oh really? Very well then I'll accept them just come in and take a seat" Tsunade opened the door a fraction wider and ushered the teens in. She let a smirk grace her lips as a sense of pride and excitement filled up inside her.
"So who's first?" Tsunade asked as she took her seat in front of everyone.
"Me! Me, me, me, me, me chose me!" Naruto yelled raising his hands like a school child.
"Okay Naruto I'll open your gift first" Tsunade opened the box Naruto had brought the ramen and sweat dropped before taking it out and placing out on her desk.
"That was very… you Naruto. Thank you I'll eat it later" Tsunade then turned to Gaara who stared back at her as he placed the cactus on her desk with a loud reverberating thud. This made Tsunade a little worried so she carefully ripped the wrappers away to reveal a medium sized cactus with a lone orange flower in it. The petals were vibrantly shaded and smelled very sweet. Tsunade smiled as she smelled it and thanked the young Kazekage for the gift. She only received a low "hnn" from the red head but decided it'll do.
She then looked over to Sasuke who nodded and placed the pink wrapped tube onto her desk. She looked down and raised an eyebrow. She carefully opened it and gasped as she opened the Chap Stick.
"How did you know that I ran out of my favorite chap stick?" Tsunade exclaimed as she applied it to her chapped lips.
"In a way that you'll never find out" muttered Sasuke as he began to blush.
"What was that?"
"Nothing" he quickly responded before nudging Hinata who stepped forward.
"Ah T-Tsunade sama I-I bought you this" Hinata blushed and passed her a scroll.
"What is this?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow as she noticed the mist village sign on the scroll.
"I b-bought it during the last m-mission… the m-man said it w-was a s-strong jutsu" Hinata explained blushing madly. Chuckling at Hinata's shyness Tsunade opened the scroll only to have a huge wave explode out and flood the office knocking everyone off their feet.
Happy Birthday Tsunade!