"Ouch!" Yelled Dovekit. "Ivykit is horrible and rotten!"

"Why?" Asked Ivykit happily.

"She spanked me, mother. Charlie spanked my finger!" Yelled Dovekit.
"No no no!" Cried Ivykit. "You say this: Charlie bit my finger!"

"But you're Charlie!" Said Dovekit in some confusion. "You can't bite your own finger!"
"Oh yeah?! Watch me!" Threatened Ivykit.

Later..

"Are you still mad at me?" Grumbled Dovekit. "Yes!" Stated Ivykit trimly.
"It was your choice to bite your own finger!" Screeched Dovekit.

Five Days Later...

Crookedkit was visiting ThunderClan camp. "I." Stated Crookedkit. "Am a snake."
"For the last time!" Bellowed Mistystar, who was also visiting. "Drop the Transylvanian accent!"

Nooo." Said Crookedkit in his wretched accent. "I like it!" Said Dovekit. "I'll join TransylvaniaClan!" "Yay! New recruits!" Yelled Transylvanian Crookedkit.

"I'll join too!" Said Jaykit, Lionkit, Hollykit, Bluekit, and Ivykit in unison.
"Squeak!" Said Firekit, who had just recently been reborn.

"Great!" Said Crookedkit. "Now all we need is to convince Blackit!" So they headed off to ShadowClan.

ShadowClan screamed when it saw TransylvaniaClan racing towards them. "All to arms!" Exulted Blackit.

"Wait." Said Tawnypelt, interrupting the storyteller. "Why is a kit the leader of our Clan?"

"Common logic," said Bluekit. Crookedkit stopped at the top of the hill facing Blackit.
"Now you listen up!" He yelled insanely. "I'm a snaaake! Snakes like dirt! So there! StarClan, make me a snake!"

"Great Starks!" Said Blackit. "Don't listen, StarClan! It will be the end of us all!"

Sadly, Yellowfang was drunk.

So was Spottedleaf.

So was Sunstar.

"We get the idea!" Dovekit yelled in the storyteller's ear.

In two point eight zero one five nine nine nine nine nine eight nine one nueve uno seconds, Crookedkit was a snaaaake. "I'm a snaaaaaaaaaàáâäæãåāke." He exclaimed in his Transylvanian accent.

"Yes, we know!" Said Dovekit. Crookedkit the snake inched over to Blackit.
"Guess what?" Whispered the mental "snake". "I KNOOOW YOUR WEEAAKNESS!"

"Oh yeah?" Said Blackit suspiciously. "You don't like donuts at daytime hours!" Exclaimed Crookedkit. "Oh my goshness! How did you know?!" Squealed Blackit in horror.

Crookedkit slithered up to Mistystar. "I know your weaknesssss!" He said in his favorite accent. Mistystar shrieked and ran away. Her weakness was Transylvanian accents.

"I loooove HoHo's!" Said Dovekit. "NOW I know your weaaaknesseseseseseseseses!" Said Crookedkit in false triumph. "You bother me," said Dovekit. "I'm going to bite you like Charlie bit her finger!"

"Nooooo!" Yelled Crookedkit in happiness. "Us snaaaaakes, we grow when we get bitten, we grow all the way to the size of the world's freshest tomato!"

Meanwhile and all of a sudden, Yellowfang from StarClan appeared right on top of Crookedkit the snake. "Ouch! I have been bitten!" Crookedkit yelled. "What a lie," said Dovekit. "He only fell on you! I'll show you a real bite!" She screamed.

"Go aheaaad, I dare you!" Howled Crookedkit. Dovekit's teeth sunk into his tail.

"Ouch!" Yelled Crookedkit. "I have been bitten!" "What a lie, she only fell on you!" Said Ivykit.

"No, really!" Yelled Crookedkit. He began to grow. No one knew what StarClan had in mind. "Yikes!" Screamed Yellowfang. "What am I seeing?!" "Something very bad," said Bluekit.

Dovekit was persistent. She just kept biting! Crookedkit grew so big that she fell off! He grew as big as an airplane! "I'm growing up, mother!" He said happily. Crookedkit grew so big!

Eventually, in two months, he shrunk down again. Yellowfang finally got to go to her home, although she was scarred for life.

"This story was never resolved," said Dovekit as she listened to the story. "By now!"
"Yeah," said Bluekit. "Go do whatever you pointless Twolegs do next while we train to be warriors!"