Hello my Little Loves! Lovely to be back. I missed fanficiton, and all of you. So I'm giving it one more go because- who cares! This story focuses a lot on mental health and overcoming obstacles in life. I've been drafting this for forever now and I'm happy and a little proud of myself for typing it out. I feel like there are a few things missing in YYH fan fiction that I want to see more of,

Overcoming grief - Like...how could any of the main characters not have struggled with any PTSD after all they went through

Queer representation - It's about time dammit

Characters of Color - BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TIME DAMMIT!

Not to say that there isn't beautiful fan fiction out there that already has these, I'm merely hoping I can add to the small collection.(also if you have a favorite fanfic that addresses some of these things, send it over to me!) I know where I'm going in this story, but not too sure when I'll be posting again. I do hope love it. I'll try to post again soon.

TINI

Something was up. Yusuke could sense it. He wasn't book-smart like Kurama, optimistic like Kuwabara, or stealthy like Hiei. But he was street smart, and that was a skill all of its own. He had a urban intuition that put all scientific intel to shame.

There was something wrong with his neighbor. His sarcastic, aloof , dog loving, weirdo of a neighbor.

Although Yusuke came off as a friendly, save the day type of guy, Yusuke was not a people person. He had trust issues; even though the years as a Spirit Detective had taught him to see the good in everyone, his fragile inner psyche was always closed off to the idea of meeting new people..And as of late, the prospect of being friendly to anyone was an immediate pass. So, Yusuke loved not having neighbors.

He was fortunate that his new apartment complex had very few tenants; and those who were occupying the building were either old or reclusive, which made perfect neighbors for a young man who didn't want others knowing his business. Or his raging emotions for that matter.

Two years after the first Demon Unification Tournament when Yusuke returned to the human realm he had decided to relocate across town, leaving his mother in his old apartment as he recently preferred to live on his own and in a neighborhood that wasn't as high class and as fancy. Kurama had told him he didn't have to move; the fox also informed him of his massive wealth from Tourin, as well as offering him a place to stay within his own apartment. But, Yusuke was never a man who wanted or needed to be doted on. He was the one that always cared for others before himself. The idea of being watched or looked after left a sour taste in his mouth. And, on top of that, he hated accepting favors from others. The money he was making at the midnight ramen stand for wayward demons was more than enough to afford a modest one bedroom apartment in a semi-safe part of town. This new apartment building had six units, two on each floor. The neighbors above and below him were old and kept to themselves. And no one lived in the unit next to Yusukes. It was great. He could live in peace without worry of prying eyes.

Yusuke just wanted to be alone. Things were different now. Everyone had lives. Everyone had moved on. Everyone except him. Kuwabara was doing great things. He finished high school at the top of his class and was enrolled in a medical university; he would make a great doctor one day. Kurama had gone off to work for his father's company. He didn't even go to college. His mother was shocked at first, but once her husband's tech company received a positive quarterly sales revenue everyone's minds were put at ease. Even Hiei had a life- well, patrol duty and living under Mukuro's wrath wasn't much of a life but point being everyone was settling into their own lives. Even through all of their trials and tribulations; the near death experiences, it didn't phase them. They all got on with it. Everyone had just, moved on. Everyone was happy (even Hiei). Everyone except Yusuke.

For Yusuke, life was at a standstill. And as the world and the people in his life moved on to normalcy, everything for him became a blur. It started with nightmares; the terrors of his soul leaving his body, his friends dying in front of him and Keiko, one of the greatest things that had happened to him, clinging to life in his arms. He would jolt awake, covered in sweat and clasping the bedsheets until they were nothing but tattered rags. Then the nightmares slipped into daytime. There were moments when all would be well and then his body would freeze. His blood would begin to rush through his veins; he'd break into a sweat and his breath would be unable to leave his lips. It was like dying all over again. And nothing could stop it except running into a secluded room and cowering in the corner.

Yusuke. Winner of the Dark Tournament. Former Detective of the Spirit Realm. Defender of Human and Demon World. A King! Now cowering in a dark corner trying to fend off his own impulsive imagination.

At fist he was great at hiding it; anytime his energy spiked he would make up excuses. He had errands to run, a business call from the Spirit Realm, a piss to take in the bathroom. Then, as things got harder, and his friends grew wiser he ran out of lies to tell. Errands became I'm busy, and trips to the bathroom became piss off. Daily meetings became weekly, then monthly, or nothing at all. Yusuke began to withdraw from his friends; he had a habit of surrounding himself with some of the most intuitive people, and they could all easily read through his 'I'm fine' charade. Even Keiko.

Damnit, Keiko.

Shortly after Yusuke returned he and Keiko officially dated, but even in their perfect, happy little world he managed to distance himself from her. Keiko had grown up as well. And she eventually needed space of her own.

"You made me wait all these years to finally be with you. Can you wait a few more for me?" She had asked him as she handed over the acceptance letter. Tokyo University. A full scholarship nonetheless. They were lucky to have her.

"You sure you don't want to find yourself a nice man in the big city?" Was his answer; the words just fell out of his mouth. She looked devastated. He was such a fuck up. He loved her, but for now he had to push her away. Just like everyone else.

His days were all the same.

Wake up at dusk.

Check his answering machine with no intention to return any calls. Delete all of them.

Go to the ramen shop.

Make ramen.

Run errands for demons.

Make more ramen.

Close at dawn.

Come home, and go right back to bed to stare at the ceiling in hopes to fall asleep.

To him. This was the life. Everything was fine. Then, everything changed.

She showed up.

She, being the worst neighbor in all three realms.

It was a normal morning and Yusuke was just returning from a late night at work; he didn't know what day it was as all of the days were beginning to blur into a never-ending loop. Work was average, there were no requests that were too bizarre from demons that would give Yusuke pause, just the usual run of the mill requests; fake id's, passports, documents, and the occasional ramen bowl. The worlds were in a unprecedented time of peace; it was so bizarre not have to fear and fight for your own life everyday. Yusuke kind of missed it.

As he walked up the stairs towards his unit floor he paused as he saw the door next to his own wide open. There were boxes outside on their shared porch. Music was playing. Loud, pulsating music that carried no succinct rhythm that caused the ex-detective's brain to become fuzzy. He cautiously took steps forwards until he was standing in the doorway to the once vacant apartment. There were more boxes, a couch, the windows were open; there was even a dog bowl and pile of food. All the signs of life were present in this apartment. Damn, he was getting a new neighbor. And they had a pet.

"Yo, peeping tom are you?"

Her voice nearly startled him. He turned to see a young woman staring directly at him; A vase wrapped in newspaper was nuzzled in her arms. She meet Yusuke in his height, meaning that her piercing hazel eyes stared directly at him, even to the point of where she was looking into his soul rather than his face. Was she a demon? No, she didn't look it. She had no extra appendages. They looked more similar than different; she looked about the same age as Yusuke, maybe a few years older. And she bore a similar look on her face that read both intrigue and 'don't ask too many questions'. She brown skin and short black hair that was curly and tied into a short bun at the back of her head. Her body was dressed in an oversized gray sweater and black jogger pants. He couldn't accurately tell how big or thin she was. She definitely wasn't from here. That was certain.

She continued to stare at him with eyes void of all emotion before speaking, "You know the last neighbor I had was real creep. You wanna know what happened to him?"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow, "Sure, enlighten me."

She leaned in towards his direction, her eyes suspiciously looking around before plainly stating, "He died...no really, he had a heart attack, it was very sad-his family was devastated."

Yusuke gave her a perplexed look. That deadpan, monotonous, void of emotion tone of voice sounded so eerily familiar. You and Hiei would be best friends. "Was that...supposed to scare me?"

"I dunno, I'm not your emotions." With that she rolled back on her feet and walked into her apartment, using her hips to push the door closed behind her. Yusuke stood in silence before the faint sound of music began to pulse through the wooden door. Eventually he walked backwards and retreated into his own home.

The next three days were pure hell. They kept bumping into each other. It was one thing to have a neighbor, it was another to have one that you kept seeing over and over. The woman had an odd schedule just like him. She would wake up early in the morning, and be leaving her apartment just as Yusuke was heading home from a long night at work. The first day he bumped into her was when she was heading out on one of her morning walks. She always dressed in the same baggy athletic wear; this time she had a duffel bag strapped to her body and her dog close to her side. Her dog was just as weird as she was! Yusuke watched her pick up the pooch, which was a very large, Siberian Husky, and carry her down the steps of the apartment. When she passed Yusuke she glanced at him before stating, "She's afraid of stairs."

"I didn't ask." Yusuke grumbled while continuing forward.

"Not outwardly." Her comment made Yusuke stop in his tracks. The woman just continued, before setting her dog on the ground to begin their stroll.

On the second day, Yusuke decided to take some action. Before heading out to work at sunset he decided to knock on his neighbor's door. The woman answered, still dressed the same and with the same sour, emotionless look on her face.

"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot the other day. I wanted to introduce myself." Yusuke began while resting an elbow on the door frame. The woman looked unamused but stood around to listen. "I'm Urameshi. Yusuke Urameshi."

There. Now she knew his name. If she was a demon (which he was still on the fence with) then she would definitely know his name. And know that he was a demon not to be messed with or bothered as a neighbor.

The woman smirked while leaning her arm on the door frame, mimicking his pose, "Yeah well I'm Ve, with an E."

"Any last name to that?" Yusuke questioned.

Ve shrugged, "Just Ve. And that's my dog, Doofy."

Upon hearing her name. The husky skirted across the wooden floor into view, nearly tumbling over onto the floor. Doofy poked it's head up towards Yusuke, giving the man a confused look before trotting over to sniff at lick at his pants.

"Yeah, I originally named her Daisy, but I mean, look at her."

Yusuke glanced down at met eyes with the dog who was now staring at him agin. He didn't know a dog could look so awkward. Doofy's ears were flicked while she craned her neck, giving three layers of rolls to her fur. The tip of her tongue poked out of her mouth, adding a final layer of cuteness to her.

"Could you believe that no one wanted her at the pound? This poor little," Ve bent down and grabbed at the dog's cheeks, "beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in her own, Doofy looking way."

Yusuke watched as Doofy reveled in her masters praises by wagging her tail. Ve laughed before eyeing Yusuke, "Do you need anything else? I mean…we're kind of having a moment here." With that she pushed the door closed, once again shutting him out with a confused look on his face.

The third day was much different. While he was returning home from work Ve was there out on her usual morning stroll with Doofy. Again, she was carrying the dog in her arms as she walked down the stairs. Seriously? Who owns a dog who can't do steps when you live on the second floor of a walkup apartment?!

"Hey weirdo." She said casually while setting the husky down.

"You have no last name, you walk your dog down the steps and you're just…really, really creepy. But I'm the weirdo?"

She huffed while shrugging her shoulders, "Different strokes for different folks. By the way, there's someone waiting for you up there."

Yusuke's face turned red, "Huh? W-who?"

She continued walking, "I don't know your friends. C'mon Doofy."

Yusuke began to walk backwards, watching Ve as she walked into the crowds of people. Eventually he turned towards his apartment, and the reality he so desperately wanted to avoid.

"Urameshi. Where-"

"Hey, Kuwabara."

The orange haired man still towered over Yusuke. He hadn't changed much in the years they've been apart. Kuwabara traded his blue uniform for a pair of hospital scrubs, though they were still equally blue in their color. He even had a bit of a orange mustache growing below his nose. He adapted back into life perfectly while Yusuke was barely hanging on.

"Where have you been? I've tried calling you. I've left like a dozen voicemails."

And I've deleted every single one. "I know, I know. I'm just…super busy that's all."

"Too busy to see your friends?"

Yusuke dropped his eyes to the floor. Kuwabara took a step forward, "C'mon."

"Where are we going?"

"We need to talk. You look like you could use something to eat…and a shower. But I'm not giving you a bath! I do enough of that stuff at work." Kuwabara gave Yusuke the look that his decision was not up for discussion; he even slung his arms over his shoulders, literally giving him no room for escape.

Damnit.

They took a walk to a nearby diner. Kuwabara ordered breakfast for the two of them, even giving Yusuke extra coffee. He began rambling on about his life like there wasn't an awkward rift between the two of them. He talked about medical school, Yukina; apparently she was going to school as well. After Yusuke forged human documents for her a few years back she was quickly adapting to the human life. Shizuru was even dating someone. Life seemed pretty swell for his little family.

"Yeah, I made Kurama do a background check on this guy." Kuwabara said between mouthfuls, "He's seems pretty good. But he's gotta be a little crazy for wanting to date my sister."

"Yeah…" Yusuke added softly while stirring his coffee into a vortex. Even though there were only a few patrons with them in the cafe, Yusuke was beginning to feel suffocated. All the noise felt like a large echo's against his eardrums. He could hear the couple behind him grind their silverware against the plates while they dug into their food. There was a child sitting on a barstool rubbing a yellow ballon with his sticky little fingers. The sound was exhausting. All of it was exhausting. And having to listen to the normalcy of Kuwabara's seemingly perfect life,

now that was unbearable.

"So, what's going on with you?"

"Eh…"

"Hey." Kuwabara's tone turned serious, "I mean, what's really going on? You've been acting really off lately. It's hard to track you down. You haven't spoken to any of us in weeks, and were all getting worried-"

"I'm fine."

Kuwabara continued on, "Kurama told me you needed to work this out in your own time. But I can't just watch you whither away into nothing man. We all care about you, even Hiei."

Yusuke let out a dry laugh, "Even Hiei? I'm sure that little bastard's in knots over me." Yusuke contemplated drowning himself in his coffee cup. He was beginning to feel the temperature in the room raise, the sounds began to alter in their pitch; the spacious cafe began to feel smaller. He just wanted to leave.

"He does care you know. We all do-"

"I get it!" Yusuke spoke rather loudly, he was now gripping the table, "You all care. But I'm really fine. I just want to be alone-" His words caught in his throat as at thunderous roar filled the room.

"Aww honey, did you pop your ballon?"

Everything began to spin. Yusuke's dormant heart began pick up speed, thumping throughout his entire body. His throat began to tighten as if he was being strangled by his own breath. His palms began to sweat and the room felt like it was shaking. As he closed his eyes to calm himself he opened them to a familiar scene. The cafe had transformed into a cave, the chairs became boulders and the floor was now in waves of water and sand. Yusuke glanced down at himself; He was now shirtless, sitting there with a gaping hole in his chest. Then he heard it. That laugh. That cold malicious laugh. It was Sensui.

"Hey, Yusuke…Yusuke? Yusuke!"

The man blinked again, he was now staring at Kuwabara, who was now towering over him with a concerned look on his face. His large hands were on his shaking shoulders. The table in front of them was split into two and the cafe's glass windows were full of cracks.

"I have to go, now!" Yusuke leaped up and shoved his friend aside, knocking down the cafe doors as he barreled into the street. His brain was triggering each of the senses in his body, making his reality hard to decipher. With each blink the scenery around him turned into a cave, and back to the streets, and back to the cave. He needed to get out of here, fast. With every bit of his strength he stumbled forward and down the street back towards his apartment. With each step he felt his vision narrow as his world felt like it was collapsing on top of him. Climbing up the stairs he finally made it to his apartment, not bothering to unlock the door as he kicked it open. With his energy now waining he crawled into the bathroom and rolled his body into a ball against the tile flooring. Pinching his eyes closed he began to take a few deep breaths.

We're not dying. It's all in your head.

It's all in your head.

We're not dying.

It's all in your head.

"It's all in my head." He murmured between irregular breaths.

"Wanna join?"

Ve's monotonous voice jerked Yusuke's head from between his legs. From his defeated position he made eyes with the young woman who was currently soaking in the tub, her head was only visible while the rest of her was shielded by a thick layer of bubbles. She greeted him with a plain, unamused face while she puffed the air, splashing bubbles on the still shaking man.

"You seem out of sorts." She began.

"What are you doing naked in my house?!" Yusuke shouted.

She widened her eyes, "Your house?"

He glanced around' clean floors, green bath towels. Why did his home looks so, unfamiliar.

"Oh shit."

"You're gonna pay me back for the door." Ve said while reaching for her bar of soap, "But, first, you wanna talk about something?"

"Not really."

"C'mon. I love a good story with my bubble bath."

Yusuke sighed, the room was beginning to slow in it's rotations, and he, for the first time in the past fifteen minutes, felt sane. "You wouldn't even believe me if I told you."

Droplets of water splashed on his face, "Try me, tough guy?"

He took a long, deep breath, "When I was fourteen I was hit by a car…"