I went looking for some super angsty Loras/Renly stuff and upon finding very little that I fancied I decided to provide my own angst. This was written really late at night and I also haven't anything like this for at least two years so it might be a bit gawky. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, the tv series or the books. I am not affiliated with it in any way whatsoever apart from loving it to pieces. This drabble on the other hand does belong to me and use without my permission will result in Ramsay Bolton flaying you in your sleep.
The night air gusting through the open window cooled the sweat that had accumulated on the young knight's body as he slept. Loras stood at the window of his cell in The White Sword Tower and leaning forward ever so slowly, gently laid his head to rest against the bleached white window frame. Behind him the room was in darkness, but that hardly mattered, you wouldn't have needed much light to navigate by anyway. Gone were the days when the youngest Tyrell son lived in opulence, he gave that life up when he joined the Kingsguard and in doing so committed himself to a life of simplicity and servitude. Servitude to the brat king that had, in his own small way, help guide the dagger that murdered Renly Baratheon.
But bitterness towards Joffrey would do him no good now, it would not do to dwell on such thoughts as those. They might begin to seep out from the place where he kept them buried deep, deep inside and the consequences of that did not bear thinking about. Despite how empty he felt nowadays Loras still bore a powerful attachment to his head. Although at this moment he wouldn't mind getting rid of it for a while. His skull ached abominably, the metaphorical axe that was buried deep inside his cranium twitched with every beat of his heart.
He knew the reason for this headache, of course. This was the third night in a row where he'd been unable to sleep for some reason or other. The previous night it was due to His Grace, during a fit of paranoia, demanding that every available Kingsguard be called to his chambers at once. The night before that a commotion in another part of the tower. Tonight, nightmares.
It had begun how his dreams about Renly always began; in the summer, after some tournament or other. Loras had been busy winning glory and the smiles of maidens all day, the sunlight shining off his plate mail, his horse lathered and muscular beneath him. Renly would be watching, smiling and handsome in the summer sunlight. But all too soon the bright, hopefulness of the day would be gone and night would come. The two would return to Loras' tent, unfollowed and Renly would lightly caress his cheek and brush back his sweat soaked hair. They would kiss, gently at first, carefully and then altogether more urgently. A desperate kiss, a goodbye kiss. And then everything would change. The air would grow chill, losing the warm quality that summer nights posses and Loras' armour would transform, his cloak morphing from the swathe of knotted flowers into the silken medley of colours he wore as part of Renly's Rainbow Guard. And then it would be over, as quickly as it had begun and Renly's life blood would be spilling out between Loras' useless fingers. The jagged rent in the would-be-king's armour spewing the precious substance onto the floor.
Every time Loras closed his eyes the same images would flood to fill the void left by the sights of the waking world, his darling's blood congealing on the floor, the lifeless body that was once the man he loved. And in the waking hours, when he must appear whole and unbroken he shook within. For when the sun has set, no candle can replace it.
Well then, hope you liked it. I'm in the mood to write more now, so keep an eye out!