WARNING !!! I OWN ZERO RIGHTS TO THIS GAME SO PLEASE DONT ASK LOL

Hope yall enjoy

Rough Day

Today was fine until we had roll call with our lieutenant Simeon Ghost riley. Captain Mactavish and Captain Price on the other hand was coming late. Last time i heard mactavish had paperwork to attend to.

Ghost: You bloody yanks better pay attention. Captain Mactavish and Captain Price should be joining us in a bit. As of right now i need to make sure that all of you bloody muppets are here. So listen up for your names.

Ghost: Scarecrow ?

Scarecrow: Here sir.

Ghost: Ozone ?

Ozone: Here sir.

Ghost: Toad ?

Toad: Yes sir. I mean here sir.

Ghost: hmm ... are you sure you belong here mate ??

Toad: What do you mean sir ??

Ghost: "A solider with that kind of name belongs in a pond.

Everyone laughed

Ghost: " Oi. You bloody yanks names aren't any better. Like roach for example. What kind of pest like yourself doing in the task force anyways ?? he asked.

Roach: The name is Gary Sanderson.

Ghost: Right. And its Sir to you bug.

Roach: Sir. he said getting annoyed.

Ghost countined calling the soldiers name until he heard mactavish and price coming up from behind him.

Mactavish: "Wow ghost. Didnt think you'd be able to pull something like this off.

Ghost: Ya.Well your just lucky these muppets showed up on time.

Price: To right mate.

Mactavish: Ok ladies you know the drill. Head over to the shooting range. I'll be testing you on your shooting today. Dont worry its not timed so you'll be fine. Whatever you do dont aim down your sights at ghost. he laughed.

Ghost: You heard Soap.. i mean the Captain. he nudge mactavish as he passed him with a smile on his face.

Mactavish: "Cheeky bastard.

After 2 hrs had passed and the testing was done the 141 members headed towards the mess hall for some chow.

Meat: Hey Bug!! he said tapping roach on the shoulder.

Roach: What is it Meat ?

Meat: When was the last time you had sex ??

Everyone froze including roach. He even choked on a piece of meat that he was eating. As usual Ghost, Mactavish and Price were listening but not paying attention.

Roach: What ?? he choked out.

Meat: " I said when was the last time you had sex ? he said again widely grinning.

Roach:" None of your damn business meat. Leave me alone.

Meat: " Aw cmon man i was just kidding. he chuckled.

Royce: He's probably still a virgin. he said laughing with meat joining him in laughter.

Roach: "Fuck you guys.

Archer: " Dont pay them no attention Roach.

Toad: "Yea roach who needs em.

Peasant: I've got an idea. How about we play a game ?

Meat: " And what game is that ? Hide your mothers panties. meat and royce broke into laughter once again.

Peasant: How about who ever catches the meat and cooks him first ? he said with a smirk on his face.

Roach: "You guys are really weird.

Meat: "The first fucker that touches me will get Sucker punched.

Peasant: I wonder by whom.

Meat: By me asshole.

Peasant: Oh im sooo scared. he laughed.

Royce: Give it a break peasant.

Scarecrow: Sometimes i wonder if you two are banging each other by the way your always up each other asses 24/7.

Meat: Is that why you and archer are always working together ?

They laughed

Royce: Fuck you Scarecrow. Why dont you go back to your corn field.

Scarecrow: Aww did your feelings get hurt ??

Archer: " I'd bet money on that one scarecrow. And for your information meat. We are scout snipers. We dont be up each others asses 24/7 Like you two.

Peasant: Royce how does meat's shit smell ?

They laughed

Chemo: Someone should shove a stick up their asses so they can walk straighter.

Royce: Fuck you Chemo. Peasant go back to being a chauffeur or a waitress you fucking dick.

Meat: Chemo you look a turd that crawled out the pit of someones ass.

Laughter

Chemo: And you look like something i ate last night.

Meat : Oh yea ? and whats that ?

Chemo: A pussy.

They all laughed again

Price: Alright. Enough of that you two.

Meat: He started it first Sir.

Chemo: Just finishing what you started meat.

Mactavish on the other hand was getting annoyed. But the 141 members kept on going.

Peasant: Royce you look so ugly that your mother decided to give you up at birth.

Laughter

Royce: Peasant no wonder your parents put you up for adoption.

Chemo: Royce your so dumb that when the captain told you to read out loud you started burping out the Alphabet.

laughter

Mactavish: I can hear you guys you know. he said irriated.

Chemo: Sorry sir. I had to throw that one out there. he smiled.

Toad : Whats wrong meat ? your looking a little pinkish. he laughed.

Ozone: How about we throw him on the grill ?

Archer: Maybe add some seasoning for flavor.

Laughter

Meat: Fuck you guys.

Peasant: What about filling up a plastic bag with some shit and throwing it at their windows ?

Scarecrow: Fuck yeah man. Lets do it.

Mactavish: No your not.

Peasant: It was a joke Sir.

Mactavish just hummed in agreement.

Roach: You guys are fucking sick. he said chuckling.

Chemo: Hey. They asked for it Roach.

Meat: All of you can kiss my Pink ass.

Chemo: That's never gonna happen Meaty. he laughed

Peasant: Yeah you wish.

Royce : How about you two just Shut the fuck up already. Im sick of your shit.

Chemo: Whatever, get the fuck over it you fucking pussy.

Royce: HEY FUCK YOU !!

Mactavish: ENOUGH !!

Everyone was quiet.

Mactavish: Shouldnt you guys be outside doing anything besides annoy me all day.

Silence

Mactavish: You lots have nothing better to do besides tell stupid bloody jokes on each other. Well guess what lads ? i have a little something that all of you will enjoy. he smiled.

Silence.

Mactavish: Roach and Archer you can clean the bathrooms. Toad , Ozone and Chemo can clean the vehicles. Peasant and Scarecrow move the ammo crates and set up new target sheets in the shooting range. Meat and Royce you guys can go help Nikolai with the pavelow. By the way thats a big fucking plane. Are there any questions ?

Silence

Mactavish: Excellent !!! Your all Dismissed.

With that he left the mess hall leaving the group speechless on what had just happened.

Archer: Well shit. Lets get started then eh Roach ?

Roach: Alright. It was getting pretty boring in here anyways.

Meat: Thanks alot chemo. You fucking ass. You got us all in trouble.

Chemo: Hey its not my fault you wouldnt shut up Meat.

Royce : Drop it you guys. Come on Meat we gotta go help Nikolai.

Meat : Fuck...Fine.

Ozone: I guess we got the the vechicles right Chemo ?

Chemo : Yea man. Lets go before Mactavish comes back.

Scarecrow: Well see you guys later. Were off to the shooting range.

Peasant: Right behind you Scarecrow.

Not A good day for the 141