No One Knows

by mojobelle98

Ellie was a cutter. This is a is how she feels, almost a diary of how it felt for her as a cutter. Why, if, and now that she stops if she still could, would she?

No one knows

I feel the cuts along my arms the scars that will always be their. The blade will haunt me; I may always want to cut myself. My name is Ellie Nash, I stared to cut myself after my dad left for Afghanistan and my mother drank. No one knows why I hurt myself though. Maybe it is because I hated my life so much I hated myself some times thinking I'm so stupid, maybe because I could make myself hurt like my mom hurt me I could only cut if I wanted, I could control it. I don't really know why I used to cut myself. Their still are many times I wish I could cut but I know I can't. Now it doesn't just hurt me, but my friends and family. I hate these ugly scars but I wish I could make more. I know their is some thing wrong with me if I want to hurt myself. Some days life is good but some days I just make it though with out cutting. No one knows how good it feels to cut, no one knows how much I miss it, and no one knows that if things would have been different, no one knows I am scared.