She sat in the silence of the night, her back pressed against the cold wall's corner as the darkness crept over her like a thick blanket, bringing with it, a sense of loneness and fear. Fear of being alone, fear of admitting to it and giving into it, but it was there. It crept through her tiny body like a virus, reaching every muscle and joint within her. Threatening to consume her. It was his fault; everything was his fault because she knew that he would not come. He was the only one who could save her from this fear, but he did not even realize this. No, he was too busy with her, too busy giving her his attention and his love, something she should have, but never would. Why would he love her?
'I am just a contract.' C.C told herself as she pulled her knees up to her chest and bowed her head to the floor. Her long green hair falling over her face and hiding most of her now tear stained face. She shivered against the cold light blue wall. Her eyes lifted up ever so slightly as if it was too much effort to move them and she scanned her spacious bedroom weakly. Her double bed lay untouched as the golden sheets were spread smoothly and neatly across the bed and her feathered pillows showed no signs of ever being occupied. Her maroon curtains were pushed to one side and tied up against the wall, leaving the light of the moon to shine freely into the room. The dark wooden desk was pushed into the one corner of the room and was occupied by over flowing paperwork as always, but none of this interested the green haired girl, none of it except for the small golden frame that was just visible amongst all the papers. The blacked haired boy in the photo smiled back at her and she frowned as the memories she shared with him raced through her mind. She tried to push them out, tried to think of something else, anything, but the recollections were determined to torture her once again. To remind her of happier times, times when she had meant something to him and when he had maybe perhaps even really cared for her. This thought brought a slight smile to her face, but it quickly faded when she heard their laughter and she knew that they had returned from yet another date. C.C shut her eyes tightly in an attempt to block out the laughter, but their happiness pierced through her heart like a knife, living a bitter taste in her mouth. She could no longer control her tears as she pushed herself off the cold surface and leaned against the wall for support. She felt angry towards him, angry and frustrated that he could have such an effect on her. An effect that made her feel helpless and weak. His happiness ensuring her sorrow and every laughter of his bringing yet another tear down her cheek without him even knowing. C.C stumbled forward a few feet, pressing against the closed window which was the only source of light in the room. She looked down and saw Kallen's face, that face she had come to hate because Kallen had everything C.C wanted, everything she needed…especially Lelouch. He had promised. He had sworn, but it was as if he had forgotten it all the day Kallen had kissed him. That fateful day that lead to him finally killing his father and taking his rightful place as the new Emperor of Britannia. That day that was so joyful for everyone, everyone except her. It was the day that she had lost Lelouch.
'No more!' C.C decided as she turned her back to the window, her hair swinging behind her. It was decided, no more hesitations, she had to do it, she had no choice. To go through the pain everyday was near to suicide and pointless. It could easily all just disappear. It was now or never.
-
'Good morning C.C!' Lelouch said happily as he burst into her room the morning after his date with Kallen. He waited to hear her sweet voice fill the room, but after a few moments of silence, he scanned her room with confusion, noticing for the first time that her bed lay untouched. Her curtains were opened, allowing the sun to shine through and her paper work remained on her table in a messy pile. Lelouch moved closer towards her closed bathroom door, expecting to hear running water, assuming her to be there, but the room remained silent as if it had never experienced her presence.
'Nunually!' He shouted without thinking as he turned his back to C.C's room, 'Nunually!'
'Yes Lelouch.' Her sweet voice eventually answered as she stepped out from her room while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
'Have you seen C.C at all?' Lelouch asked as his sister shook her head drowsily.
'Not since last night at dinner.' She replied with a confused expression.
'Why?' She asked suspiciously as Lelouch shrugged.
'Just wondering.' He muttered as he quickly walked away from his sleepy sister, into the hallway where he allowed his thoughts to take over his mind. It was so unlike C.C to go out without telling him. It irritated him. She never did anything without his consent and never went out without him. Lelouch did not like not knowing what was happening and so he could not help, but greet his teeth out of frustration. C.C was acting irresponsibly.
' Emperor Lelouch.' A voice suddenly said as he was snapped back to reality and he saw Oagi standing before him.
'Suzuka was wondering if he must send the military out for a test flight today.' Oagi said as Lelouch shook his head uninterestedly, his thoughts still focused on C.C.
'No, we have not scheduled one for today and we do not want to frighten the people.' Lelouch replied, 'I will have one scheduled for next week.'
'As you wish.' Oagi muttered with a nod as he turned to walk away, but Lelouch stopped him.
'Better yet, have C.C organize a press conference, I shall announce it then.' He added as Oagi nodded once again.
'I will see to it.' Oagi said before walking away and disappearing around the corner, leaving Lelouch to his thoughts once again. It bothered him that he did know C.C's whereabouts, but had to convince himself that she was off doing work as his personal assistant. After all he had too much work and duties to attend to, giving him no time to search for his green haired friend.
'You really do have C.C do a lot of work.' A familiar voice said as Lelouch turned around with a smile, knowing the voice perfectly well.
'She enjoys it.' He told a bright looking Kallen as he closed the distance between them and gently kissed her.
'I never get tired of that.' He added as Kallen laughed and nodded in agreement.
'Would you like to join me for a walk in the gardens?' She asked sweetly as Lelouch's smile disappeared.
'I wish I could, but I have a lot of paper work to do and C.C will kill me if I do not get them all done in time.' He answered as Kallen frowned when he looked away.
'But I will try come visit you later.' Lelouch added before quickly kissing her cheek and walking away towards his office as Kallen watched him. She tried to smile, not wanting the thought to creep into her mind once again, but it was there before she could stop it. The thought that C.C was really the only woman, (besides his sister) who Lelouch cared about. After all, he was forever referring to her, always finding some way to sneak her into their conversations and she was the only female who was not related to Lelouch who stayed in the main Palace. Her room being the closest to Lelouch's room. In fact they had been sharing a room up until a few months ago and Kallen had been his girlfriend for over a year and a half now. But still she felt second best compared to C.C as if C.C held a bigger place in Lelouch's heart and this concerned Kallen. After all C.C understood Lelouch like no one else, even though Kallen tried her hardest to be the one to know what he needed and wanted, but C.C was always one step ahead of her. She knew exactly how Lelouch's moods worked and what to do in certain situations. Situations when he would remember his father's betrayal or how he had almost turned everyone he loved against him. C.C was the only one who could truly comfort Lelouch during those times; she knew this very well even though Lelouch would come to Kallen first. She knew that after seeing her he would go straight to C.C and spent hours talking to her, sometimes staying up all night. They shared similar interests and whatever book C.C recommended, Lelouch would read it without fail. He depended on her and trusted her every word, more than Kallen could ever hope to achieve. Sometimes Kallen was able to convince herself that she was over reacting and it seemed silly for just a moment, but then she would see how he smiled when she entered a room or how he made sure that she was always by his side. If he went out, C.C was right behind him. If he wanted something, C.C would see to it that he got it. At times she thought C.C was his everything.
-
'Ok Oagi let us call it a day.' Suzuka said through the intercom as Oagi landed the new knightmare back on the ground after a long day of testing out the new machine.
'Send my regards to Villia and the kids.' He added before taking off his earphones and falling back into his chair. He threw the black headphones onto his messy desk as he glanced over at his clock with a heavy sigh. It was already six in the evening and he had not managed to finish his paperwork. He rubbed his eyes languidly as the thought of leaving it till the morning seemed tempting, but he knew that it would just create more work for him the next day. Suzuka leaned forward as he grabbed the pile of papers and started to scan through them, stopping every now and then to scribble something across a page.
'I am assuming it was a long and tiresome day.' A voice said from behind as Suzuka spun around and smiled.
'Not as tiring as yours, I am sure.' Suzuka answered his good friend as Lelouch smiled and eyed the new knightmare frame.
'It is a beauty.' He whispered as Suzuka watched him curiously with a slight nod.
'I am sure that that is not the reason you have come to see me.' He pointed out and at this Lelouch nodded.
'The castle is quiet with Nunually out on her date with Rolo, so I decided to come see how the training was going.' Lelouch informed his friend, 'But I see I am too late.'
'Ah yes, I did not want to overdo the new machine on its first run.' Suzuka explained to the young Emperor as Lelouch nodded in agreement.
'Smart decision.' He muttered, 'And that is why I trust you as the head of my military.'
'And I am honored to have such a high ranking.' Suzuka said as he gave a deep bow, but Lelouch shook it off.
'Suzuka you are my friend and I will not have any of this bowing nonsense.' Lelouch reminded him as he grabbed his friend by the shoulder and smiled, which Suzuka immediately returned. Lelouch, being pleased with his friend's response, stepped away from Suzuka and noticed his pile of paperwork for the first time.
'I too have much paperwork and should probably attend to it.' He added reluctantly as Suzuka sighed.
'It is a nuisance, but must be done.' He muttered as Lelouch nodded.
'All a part of the job.' Lelouch agreed as he turned towards the open door, but stopped half way to look at Suzuka once more.
'Oh did Oagi ask you to get C.C to organize a press conference for next week?' Lelouch asked curiously as Suzuka nodded.
'Yes he did.' He replied, 'This morning.'
'Has she done it?' The emperor questioned as his friend shook his head.
'No, she did not come in today.' Suzuka answered, 'I assumed she was with you.'
'No, I have not seen her the whole day.' Lelouch informed his friend with a frown.
'That is unlike C.C.' Suzuka muttered.
'She is probably out eating pizza. You know how she cannot resist that.' He added optimistically after a moment of silence as Lelouch gave a weak nod.
'Probably.' He muttered as he left Suzuka's office without another word spoken, a doubtful expression visible on his face. Suzuka frowned as he turned his back to the open door and grabbed his paperwork in an attempt to distract his mind. He tried to write the word approved at the bottom of the page that stared back at him, but the first letter to form on the sheet was a K and he knew that his thoughts had taken over him. He wondered why Lelouch depended so much on C.C when he had a wonderful girlfriend.
'No, do not think like that! She belongs to Lelouch!' He told himself as he threw his paperwork onto the desk and slammed his fist against the table. He started to remember the long nights he had spent with her during the war and how they would share everything with each other. It was back when he had a chance, but foolishly never took it.
'It is your own fault.' He sighed as he looked at the picture on his desk of him and Lelouch. It was taken the day Lelouch was crowned Emperor, 'So you cannot blame him.'
-
Lelouch sat on C.C's bed as he tapped his fingers against his right knee impatiently. He looked over at the bed clock for the tenth time in the past two minutes. Ten p.m. It was late and still there had been no sign of the green haired girl. He had spent the past two hours searching the castle and calling her phone, but the castle walls remained untouched by her presence and her phone just rang. Lelouch knew that he should not allow her absence to bother him so much, but he cared for her. She was a dear friend to him and they had shared many special moments together. He trusted her with his deepest secrets and even with his life. He always turned to her for comfort and advice, knowing that she would always be there to willingly give it. Her presence eased him during trying and difficult times and calmed him when important decisions were to be made. But now he felt unsettled and troubled without her by his side.
'She still has not returned?' A gentle voice asked as Lelouch turned towards the open doors and saw Nunually in her dressing gown.
'No.' He muttered bitterly as he turned to look out the window to try hide his emotion. Nunually watched her brother compassionately as she slowly walked over to C.C's bed and sat beside him. She noticed the dark rings under his eyes and how the moon's light highlighted her brother's pale expression due to lack of sleep. This caused her to gently touch her brother's shoulder and to smile at him kindly when he turned to look down at her.
'Lelouch, you should go get some sleep.' Nunually suggested compassionately, 'You need it.'
'No, I can wait.' He protested as his sister frowned.
'Brother, you cannot carry on like this. There is much to be done and you need your sleep so that you can rule our country.' Nunually reminded her brother as he clutched his fists.
'But C.C…' Lelouch started to say as Nunually smiled.
'…Is alright.' She assured her troubled looking brother, 'You know what C.C is like. I am sure she has just been caught up in an important affair and has forgotten to inform you.'
'And what if that is not true, what if she is hurt or in trouble?' Lelouch demanded to know, 'And I am just sitting her, doing nothing.'
'C.C is a strong girl who can take care of herself.' Nunually reminded him as he relaxed slightly.
'After all our sweet C.C always comes back to you.' She added as Lelouch hesitated before sighing in defeat.
'Alright.' He muttered as he stood up.
'I will go sleep.' He added reluctantly as he glanced out of the window, hoping to see C.C, but frowned before feebly walking towards the doors. Nunually watched half heartedly as her brother disappeared into the darkness of the hallway, frowning to herself when he was no longer visible. She turned and slowly brushed her hand over C.C's bed that had remained untouched that entire day and she softly bowed her head to the floor, her eyes falling upon the white carpet. She so badly wanted to believe her own words, to be sure of them and confident that the green haired girl would walk into her room at any moment, apologizing for worrying them. But even as the words slipped through her lips, she knew that she was lying to her brother and that there was little hope that she would be back the next morning. Yet even with all her doubt, she managed to push a little of it out so that she had room for a slight amount of optimism.
'Oh C.C.' Nunually muttered as she pulled her hand away and slowly stood up, taking a moment to glance over the spacious room before heading towards the doors and closing them behind her.
-
'C.C!' Lelouch shouted as he burst into her room the next morning, not even bothering to change before doing so. The suspense of knowing whether she had returned or not had kept him awake nearly the entire night and it occupied his mind like a disease. He scanned the room, making sure that he covered the entire space, not missing a single part of it.
'No.' He muttered as C.C's room remained the way he had left it the night before and was still empty of her company. He ran to her open bathroom, covering the space between him and the door within a few steps. He pulled the shower curtain open, not caring if she would be in there or not, but his hands dropped weakly to his sides as he stared into the empty space and ran his right hand through his hair apprehensively. For a moment he stood tentatively, unsure how to feel or react, but it quickly passed over as he pushed away from the empty shower and crossed the room swiftly.
'Guards!' Lelouch shouted as he turned his back to the room and within a few minutes the ground started to rumble slightly as numerous guards came running in response to their emperor's call.
'You called my…' The one guard started to say as they bowed, but Lelouch cut him off.
'I want a full search done for C.C. She is missing and I want her found today! Have the press announce it! Have guards at all of the exits out of the country. I want pictures of her put up everywhere. I want road blocks, the works!' Lelouch ordered as the head guard looked uncertain.
'Your majesty, perhaps we should not use such great measures, it might alarm the people or frighten off visitors.' He suggested as Lelouch glared at him.
'I do not care! Turn this country upside down if you have to, just find her!' He shouted as his voice echoed throughout the hallway and the guard bowed stiffly.
'Right away your majesty.' He said as he turned towards the other guards and started to shout orders to them just as Nunually's door crept open.
'What is happening?' She asked with a yawn as she rubbed her sleepy eyes.
'I am having a search done for C.C.' Lelouch explained as Nunually frowned.
'C.C has not returned.' She said with a concerned expression and Lelouch shook his head, 'Oh Lelouch what will we do? She could be anywhere!'
'I know, but I will find her Nunually.' He told her with a determined expression across his face.
'I have to.' He muttered under his breath as he followed the guards down the hallway, followed closely by his anxious looking sister, not knowing that behind one of the many hallway pillars, stood a troubled looking Kallen. She stepped away from the pillar once the hallway was empty, leaving behind a tear stained maroon carpet where she stood just moments ago.
-
C.C pulled the black cloak further over her face in an attempt to hide from the public as she sat at a corner booth in a small Café, the same Café she had visited many times with Nunually. The young princess she had thought would one day be her sister, but now another would take that title. Kallen would. The name was like poison in C.C's mouth and she quickly took a sip of her tea in an attempt to wash it away, but the reality was that it would always be there.
'Hey, turn the television up.' Someone suddenly shouted to the Café owner as C.C turned her attention to the television that was now broadcasting the afternoon news.
'And in further news, Emperor Lelouch has brought the country to a standstill as he is having a nationwide search for his personal assistant, C.C who apparently has been missing…' The news reporter started to say as C.C gasped and scanned the Café to assure that no one had recognized her, but they were all too absorbed in the latest, shocking news.
'I cannot believe she is missing.' Someone sitting nearby was saying to her companion as he listened and nodded in agreement.
'But C.C never leaves the Emperor's side.' Another voice echoed through C.C's ears as she frowned and pulled her cloak further down, almost covering her face completely. She dug in her pocket for money, throwing a few notes on the table before exiting the Café quickly and silently, hoping to go unnoticed. She felt a sense of relief as the cold air from outside rushed over her, thinking herself to be free, but it was short lived as she noticed the many guards walking the streets. They were stopping people to ask questions and to show a picture of C.C, one of them being Suzuka. She gasped a little as she noticed him look over at her and turn in her direction. C.C immediately turned on her heel and started to walk down the long street, hoping that Suzuka would not pursue her.
'Excuse me!' She heard Suzuka shout, but she pretended not to hear it and quickened her pace.
'Excuse me!' He shouted again as C.C turned her head slightly and noticed that Suzuka had picked up his pace and was gaining on her.
'Please no.' C.C thought to herself as she glanced back again and met his suspicious eyes.
'Hey stop!' Suzuka cried as C.C broke into a run, turning into a nearby alley just as the wind blew her cover off her head.
'C.C.' Suzuka muttered as he caught a glimpse of the long green hair falling from the girl's uncovered cloak just before she turned into the alleyway and he ran after her.
'C.C stop!' He shouted as he turned into the alleyway and saw her a few feet in front of him.
'Please stop!' Suzuka shouted as he jumped forward, just managing to wrap his hand tightly around her small arm and forcing her to come to a standstill.
'No! Let me go!' C.C screamed as she tried to fight against Suzuka, but his grip on her was too tight.
'C.C calm down.' He shouted above her screams as he tried to calm her down, but she refused to listen and continued to struggle against his hold.
'What has gotten into you? We have been looking everywhere for you! Why did you run like that?' He demanded to know as C.C suddenly stopped struggling against him and looked stunned.
'You said we. Do you mean to say that Lelouch is also out looking for me?' She asked with a note of hope in her voice as Suzuka bit his lip.
'Um, well no, but he ordered the search and…' He started to say, but stopped when C.C pulled away from him and frowned.
'Where is he?' She demanded to know as Suzuka hesitated.
'I do not…' He started to say.
'Tell me where he is!' C.C ordered with a fierce tone that not even Suzuka could disobey.
'It-It…it is his anniversary with Kallen, he is spending the day with her.' He answered reluctantly as C.C slowly turned away from him.
'But he does want to desperately find you and is very concerned.' Suzuka quickly added as silence fell upon the two when C.C did not respond and Suzuka watched her questionably, not knowing what she would do next. For a moment she stood very still, a look of disappointment and heartache visible on her face that changed when she turned to face the young captain again. Confusion growing when he saw her unexpected sanguine expression.
'Pretend as if you never found me.' She suddenly added eagerly as Suzuka looked shocked.
'What!' He cried, shaking his head fiercely as he grabbed both her arms, 'C.C you are talking madness.'
'Suzuka you must do this thing for me.' C.C said, 'I need you to.'
'I cannot do that.' Suzuka informed her, 'I have my orders.'
'Please Suzuka; you know what it is like.' C.C started to say as tears filled her eyes, 'To love someone with all your heart, but to not be able to be with that person. I cannot bear the pain anymore. I must run. To pretend as if I had never met him.'
'Please do not make me go back.' She begged, taking Suzuka by surprise as he stared indecisively at the green haired girl who was now crying in his arms. He thought of the many times he had to watch the girl cry over the one she loved and remembered the many times he pained to see his love in the arms of another. Suzuka knew that the Emperor had always had a hold on C.C that she could never shatter no matter how hard she tried, but now she had finally found the strength to try break away from that, from him and the heartache that came with being around him. Could he really force her to return, knowing what waited there for her.
'Alright.' He eventually muttered as C.C stared up at him with a stunned expression.
'It will be as if we never saw each other.' Suzuka added hesitantly as C.C slowly smiled.
'Thank you.' She said kindheartedly as she gently kissed his cheek, allowing her lips to linger there as Suzuka closed his eyes in response to her soft touch, trying to remember it, knowing that he would never feel it again. He slowly opened his eyes when C.C stepped back to look up at him and he tried to paint the picture of the pale, green haired girl in his mind, wanting to memorize his friend just as she looked standing before him. He wanted to remember her gentle and beautiful face so that it could replace the many memories he had of her crying in his arms. She watched as he stared at her deeply and smiled, touching his cheek gently with her hand.
'Suzuka we will meet again.' She promised as he looked doubtful, but smiled none the less.
'I hope that we will.' He whispered as he took her hand into his and kissed it.
'May you find happiness wherever you may go.' Suzuka said gently as she pulled away from him and nodded softly.
'You too.' C.C whispered as she started to turn away from him, but suddenly stopped and jumped into his arms, squeezing him tightly, realizing that she was losing her closest friend.
'Goodbye my friend.' She added softly before finally turning away from Suzuka and walking down the dark alleyway, Suzuka watching her until he could no longer see her.
-
Suzuka walked through the castle hallways with his head guards behind him in two neat rows. He had a stern look on his face as maids and other guards jumped out of his way when they crossed his path. The two guards standing at the dining hall doors immediately pushed the two carved wooden doors open once seeing him approaching and without a word, Suzuka entered the dining hall with his guards following him closely. Sitting at the long glass table was the Emperor with Kallen and Nunually on either side of him. He was cutting through his piece of meat with a sharp knife, but he seemed to not give it any effort and looked like his thoughts were somewhere else. Upon seeing Suzuka, Lelouch jumped to his feet and a sense of hope flickered into his eyes, which made Suzuka's job even more difficult as he bowed his eyes to the floor and slowly shook his head.
'I-I am sorry.' Suzuka said as Lelouch lowered his head.
'I see.' He muttered as he sat back down on his cushioned chair, trying to hide his disappointment from those around him.
'Oh Lelouch.' Kallen whispered as she placed her hand over his hand in an attempt to comfort him, but he quickly pulled away from her, taking Kallen by surprise.
'It has been five days already.' Nunually said softly as tears filled her eyes and she slowly stood up, pushing her untouched plate away from her.
'Excuse me, but I am not very hungry.' She added as she curtsied slightly in her brother's direction before stepping away from the table and pushing passed Suzuka and his guards, followed by her maids. Suzuka turned to look away from her, unable to bear her grieved face. He started to regret his decision, believing that he had made a mistake to allow C.C to run. A part of him reprimanded him for what he had done and the pain that he was now coursing to those close to him, but then he remembered C.C's eyes, the desperation and agony that filled them. He could still hear her pleading voice ring clear in his head and feel her warm tears that fell onto his exposed arms. It was impossible for him to have forced her to return to Lelouch's side, not after the pain he saw.
'I am so very sorry.' Suzuka whispered to the princess, with his back to her, but Nunually continued to walk on, without a back glance.
-
C.C stood on a high hill that over looked the land she had come to know so well and had even called home. In the distance she could see the palace where she had lived with those who she loved dearly, but now it was soon to all become a distant blur in her memory. Everything she knew, everyone she loved dearly, all of it that was her life was to be forgotten. The friendships, the pain, the love and the broken promises. C.C would have to pretend as though it never happened as she stood at the start of Alment Route, the road that would lead her to her new beginning.
THE END