This is my first fanfic ever, so hopefully it's good. I hope I can get enough time to keep writing more chapters.

All characters are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

"Anesthetize"

I stared at the reflection of myself in the mirror in my bathroom and noted down every imperfection of my body. No, I'm not big boned – that excuse should be obvious by now. I'm an average 5'6" height for a sixteen year old, but I'm unfortunately a fatass. It never bothered me until middle school when I realized that no girl would ever want to get fucked by a gigantic blog of shit.

The other thing that makes me sick of my body is the scars that haven't faded away over the past few years. These scars were scattered around my wrists, stomach, and legs. Luckily, nobody really notices because nobody would expect me to turn out to be a suicidal freak.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door and a voice said, "Eric! You're supposed to be driving me to school! I don't want to be late, so hurry the fuck up!"

Ugh. It was that filthy jew that I promised to drive to school.

I could never understand Kyle. I attempt to offend him every single day of his life, but it's like it doesn't even bother him anymore. About two weeks ago he invited me over to spend the night and I wore my black shirt with a massively huge swastika on it. Not even that bothers him now. He had also gotten rid of the ushanka and wasn't afraid of showing off his hair. It seems like anything that once bothered him didn't mean anything anymore.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid jew", I shouted. "I can't take a shit without you annoying me can I?"

I grabbed my shirt off the floor, tossed it on, flushed the empty toilet, and opened the door to see the jew's eyes looking directly into mine. He stepped away from me and said, "Aren't you going to wash your hands?"

"No", I answered. "Only dirty jews like you need to keep themselves sanitary from the rest of us normal folks."

Kyle rolled his eyes and made his way down the hallway and I followed. When we got to the car I pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and blew the smoke in Kyle's face.

"What the fuck Eric", he said coughing dramatically. "Is that really necessary?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I felt like just tuning everything around me off and focusing on the road.

I had to park next to Clyde in the school parking lot. Everyone knew that Clyde was fucking Stan's ex-girlfriend Wendy, yet Stan would never succumb to that fact.

"Thanks for the ride", Kyle said stepping out of the car. "Can I get a ride home too?"

"No", I said slamming my hand against the steering wheel. "Fuck! Alright, fine."

Kyle looked strangely at me as I stepped out of my car grabbing my backpack. I swear that he looked like he saw a fucking Dinosaur. I slammed the car door shut and asked, "Who the fuck are you staring at jew?"

"Eric", he murmured. "Are you…doing ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sense when did you care?"

"It's just…never mind."

He started walking away from me and I looked down to notice that my shirt wasn't clearly hiding all of my cuts on my upper arms.

I shoved my hands into my pockets to grab a pack of my cigarettes out when Kenny appeared behind me saying, "Can I bum one?"

"Fuck off", I said. "Get a job you poor little fuck."

Kenny giggled a little bit as I pulled a cigarette out and he yanked it out of my hands.

"God dammit Kenny!"

I breathed heavily and got over it. It wasn't worth getting angry over.

Kenny's my best friend, even though we get in fights once a while. The only thing that bothered me about him was how he was able to get any girl in the school that he wanted. He's also the biggest stoner in the school. Yesterday he brought a guitar case here and shoved a bong in it and we ended up getting high as fuck in the school bathroom.

"Eric, look", he said pointing towards Stan who was just getting out of his truck. "I think he's got Wendy in the car too."

I looked over for a second to see Stan making out with that slut and turned my head away in disgust.

"Fucking sick", I spat on the ground. "He still cares about that whore?"

Kenny laughed as he started walking away from me. I caught up to him as we headed towards the high school. I studied the way he walked and the movements of his face as he yawned. It was turning me on. I know what you're thinking that it's sick to have a thing for your best friend. You don't have to tell me. I spent Saturday night wanking off to his pictures on facebook with a bucket of KFC next to me.

"Kenny", I said. "What's your opinion on suicide?"

He looked at me still smiling, "I don't care."

The conversation ended there.

School went by pretty fast until I reached English and we had a guest speaker. It was a shock to see that it was Mr. Mackey, the school counselor from my elementary school. I sat next to Stan as he was texting Wendy.

Mr. Mackey woke half the class up when he said, "I'm here to talk about something important, mkay?"

I laughed, pulling out a notebook and flipping to a random doodling of an iron cross I had shaded halfway in.

"How many of you know what sexual abuse is", Mackey asked. "Just raise your hands if you know, mkay?"

My pencil stopped as my eyes were looking directly at him. Shivers went down my body as I started to get frustrated. I picked up the pencil and kept shading in my iron cross, but this time used more pressure on the pencil.

"Ok, Well that's about almost every student", he said. "Does anyone have any ideas on how you could stop someone from getting sexually abused?"

The tip of the pencil broke off and I started biting my lip down. Stan blurted out, "The girl could just buy a chastity lock."

Half of the class laughed at the Jock's stupid joke. I didn't though. Actually, I more wanted to stand up, grab the desk and slam it into Stan's face.

I hated Stan. He always bothered me as if I wasn't there even though we sat together in lunch. He was more into football then me for sure. The thing was that Stan was a complete idiot. He had a crush on Wendy ever sense the fourth grade and no matter how many times she cheated on his ass he kept coming back to her for more.

"Anyone else", Mackey asked. "Don't be shy to speak up, mkay."

My hands were rattling and I needed to get the fuck out of that room.

I stood up, shoved my notebook in my backpack, through my backpack over my shoulders, and then told the teacher I needed to go the bathroom. I rushed my way out of that fucking room and made my way down the hallways. I couldn't get the fucking thoughts out of my head.

The school hallways were completely empty. I wanted to leave, but I remembered that I told that jew that I'd take him home. That's when I realized today was going to be a long day.

Next chapter will be longer and I'll show a darker side of Cartman that isn't shown in here. Hope you enjoy.