For a short while, nothing happened in the Smith house and then that nothing continued to happen for the duration of their time spent at the restaurant. Everyone in the family decided to go out for dinner one night and needless to say, everyone showed but Stan, who was late getting back from a secret assignment to assassinate a foreign dictator. He arrived eventually though.

"Stan", began Francine, "What happened?"

"I was lining up the shot and I was just about to kill that war criminal when Duper pushed me out of the way and took all the glory for himself. He cheated and now I won't be getting that raise we wanted."

Roger, also sitting at the table, said "I know how you feel. I had a rival once. His name was Hugo."

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"It was back on my home planet during the Planetary Civil War, a war between the two halves of the planet. I was on the side of the Planetary Unionists; we just wanted everyone to live in peace, no weapons, no countries and no factions too. Hugo was the general of the Planetary Legionaries; who wanted to control the planet and change things to suit their own agendas. They systematically conquered parts of the planet, civilians were made into slaves to work on their buildings and soldiers were forced to fight gladiator style. I was a high ranking soldier"

"So what happened between you and this Hugo alien?" asked Hayley.

"I captured him. The Legionaries surrendered and the war ended. I was declared a war hero and I won the Royal Medal for Outstanding Contribution to the War Effort', pretty much the best medal you can win.

"Roger, do you expect us to believe that garbage?" said Stan.

"It happened, I saved trillions of lives on my home planet before they sent me here as a crash test dummy."

Roger remembers he originally thought he was sent here to decide the planet's fate.

"How dare you compare yourself to some of our greatest heroes."

Upon return to the house, they were shocked to discover it was gone, nothing but a pile of rubble. The CIA crowded around the crater and director Avery Bullock came over to explain what had happened.

"It appears someone set a bomb while you were away. Someone tried to kill you but it went off at the wrong time and imploded the house. It's not nuclear, we don't know what it is but we suspect it's not from this world."

The family were taken to a motel to stay while the house would be repaired. Stan glared at Roger with a look of judgement.

"I don't know what you're looking at me for. It wasn't me."

"You're the only alien around here; it had to have been you"

"Stan, maybe it wasn't Roger."

"No, you're not getting away with it this time you waste of space. If we had never met you our lives would be so much better. Now, the CIA is going to discover you and we'll all get taken to Area 51 and dissected and it's all because of you!"

Steve spoke up, "Dad, you never liked Roger"

"Even more reason for him to just go away and – DIE!"

Roger looked hurt but he didn't want to endanger the family and had to leave to ensure they weren't found out. He didn't know where, he just walked off into the rain. Miles later, he became tired enough to stop at an old shack and attempt to stay the night and figure out how he would begin rebuilding his life. That night, he slept and thought about his time in the war.

Roger's platoon of a dozen aliens patrolled the harshest environments, they lugged around their heavy, cumbersome equipment though the acid mines when they were captured. Only he and his best friend and right-hand man were alive, the rest were killed trying to escape. Roger knew that it was a good thing, just not for him. In his cell, a nearby woman explained the situation. A captured soldier might be forced to build extensions to the prison, flying saucers or even supercannons to fire at your own troops across the planet. They also might be forced to be gladiators. Roger and his friend became that. Roger killed his best friend because the winner would face a fate worse than death and Roger wanted give him the easy way out and take the punishment himself.

Roger was forced to fight the Hell-Eater, a ten foot beast that can crush an alien's skull with the grip of its claw alone, or use its teeth to peel their skin off like an orange and digest them alive. Fortunately only a few aliens have ever suffered this fate and after Roger killed it with just an energy blade.

Roger escaped with just a plasma rifle and trekked across miles of frozen tundra to reach Unionist territory. He was forced to hunt creatures of the land and sky that were just as likely to hunt him. When he finally reached a relief centre, he was relived of duty so this would never happen again. But that wasn't good enough for Roger, who knew how much they needed him and joined the war again for a secret mission that would end the war only a day later.

Roger exited his hut to find that the Alien Task Force was sweeping the area and Roger would have to use all of his stealth training to sneak past them. Had he not bumped into Stan's old rival Duper. Roger ran as fast as he could and made it to the Langley Falls Hydroelectric Dam. Roger entered in though the tunnel and Duper closed the barricades, trapping them in. Roger escaped through the sewers where Duper followed. Roger reached a dead end, a sheer drop at the mouth of the tunnel. Duper came in,

"I know you can understand me, put your slimy hands on your head."

Roger complied. Duper pulled out handcuffs.

"Now turn around"

Roger stood at the edge of the dam and faced out to the largest drop in the town. Roger thought if Duper killed him then he couldn't confess that the Smith's held him.

"Down on your knees"

Roger tucked one leg under and wondered what the point of him being here anymore was. Duper put the handcuffs away and drew his gun, completely unbeknownst to Roger. Roger leaned forward as Duper cocked the gun and Roger used his bent leg to propel himself out and he dived into the unknown, through the mouth of the dam wall and into the water. Roger didn't even know if he cared if he came back up to the surface, but he did if only by the power of buoyancy and not from his own will to continue on.

Back on the banks and with a few minutes to escape, Roger drew out his multi-purpose device that he keeps hidden in his orifices and opted to call for his planet to bring him home, something he could always do but never wanted to until now.

"Who is it?" the voice answered "Is someone from Earth calling"

"It's me, Roger, the crash test dummy from the Delta sector"

"Roger? When was it you left again? 1947, Earth years wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm coming home, now"

"Alright, we'll send you a Space Lander to your position. We'll be here in about an Earth hour. See you soon"

The voice hung up.

"See you soon", Roger whispered in to the speaker.

Roger headed to a secluded clearing in the forest and waited. A large red dot appeared on the ground and several smaller dots circled it and closed in as the ship approached. The walkway lowered and Roger stepped closer to board but was stunned. As the CIA flashlights on the horizon became visible, the ship had to leave quickly. Roger lay limp on the ground and turned to see who stunned him. A figure stood in a jump suit similar to the one Roger wore in the war. But while his was turquoise and white like the Unionists, this one was maroon and black like a Legionary.

"Hello, Roger"

"Hugo?"

"Looks like nobody's coming to save you this time"

"Why?"

Hugo opened his jet pack and flew off as the CIA arrived. Duper stood over Roger and stomped on his head, knocking him out.

If you liked that, then you'll love part two. Let me know what you think and hopefully there'll be much more on the way.