The Haunted Farm
MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!
Our 1500th visitor, AlleyCat, requested as her prize that we write a story with all the Digidestined and Evil Cows and Evil Chickens in our usual style. SOOO, here it is!!
One day, all of the Digidestined and Armadillomon were at Ken's house playing various board games. All the Digimon had been captured by Leomon except for Armadillomon because Leomon for some strange reason had just decided not to capture him.
Taichi, Yamato and Koushiro were playing Chutes and Ladders.
Sora, Mimi, Hikari and Michael were playing, of course, The Phonics Game.
Iori, Armadillomon, Daisuke, Miyako, Takeru and Wallace were playing Pictionary.
Jyou was playing Monopoly.
Ken just wasn't there quite yet despite the fact that everyone was at his house.
"Crap!" Taichi said as he tossed his game piece. "I've landed on that SAME slide four times!"
"Pass me the spinner, it's my turn." Said Yamato, reaching for the spinner.
"Why do I always have to be stuck with the girl in a wheelchair as my game piece?" asked Koushiro. "Can I once and a while be that boy?"
"YAY!!" said Sora, Mimi, Hikari and Michael as they played the BROWN Phonics Game.
"When is Ken going to get back?" sighed Takeru.
"We can't continue until he gets back from the 'Little genius' room'." Added Iori.
"How about we switch to checkers?" asked Armadillomon. "We can use my shell as the board."
"I'm going to look at this card if he doesn't come back in one minute." Declared Wallace.
"You can't look at his card!" yelled Miyako because she was on Ken's team. "Because then you'll know what it is!"
"And besides, you can't really just LOOK at his card since we're sitting right here…" started Daisuke but the door suddenly swung open and Ken was standing there with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Guess what I found everyone?!" he said, walking over. "It's a will. SAM'S will."
"Really…" said no one in particular.
"Yup." Ken said. "It says right here that on top of a bunch of other stuff, Sam left me his…FARM!! I didn't even know that Sam HAD a farm!"
"And even if he did, don't you think that the rest of your family would own it too?" asked Koushiro.
"No," Ken said obliviously. Then he looked at the will again. "But I have to go and claim it or else Carl will take it. And to claim it, we have to spend a night."
"Wait, wait, wait." Said Yamato, standing up. "How come all of a sudden, you're saying 'we'?"
"You're all coming with me right?" asked Ken.
"SURE we are Ken!!" said Hikari standing up and looking like a moron. Mimi, Sora and Michael stood up as well.
"I'm definitely not going now." Said Taichi.
"I'll come and help too." Said Daisuke. "I mean, you wouldn't want to be stuck with Mimi, Sora, Hikari and Michael all by yourself on a farm."
"Well if Daisuke is going then I'm going to!" declared Takeru, not wanting to be topped by Daisuke.
"Count me in!" said Miyako.
Wallace decided to go because what would he do without everyone else since he can't play Pictionary alone?
"You three not coming?" asked Ken, looking at The Rugged Camping Men who were all crossing their arms and facing the other direction with little rain clouds over their heads. Then they scoffed like Fox and turned around.
"Fine, we've decided to come." Sighed Koushiro.
Ken looked over at Iori who was just kind of standing there with a disgruntled looking Armadillomon behind him. Then Armadillomon was captured by Leomon because Leomon didn't know WHY he didn't capture him before.
"Well, looks like Iori CONTINUES to hate me, here it goes…"
thought Ken."Looks like Ken still thinks I hate him just because I haven't said anything yet. Well, here he comes…"
thought Iori."Iori, do you think you're going to come to?" asked Ken.
"Better humor him…"
thought Iori. Then he smiled. "Arigatou Ichijouji-san, I would love to come to your FARM!!" he said in an English accent and in a deep voice while talking at about a gazillion million trillion miles an hour.Ken was a little freaked out with this weird voice so he took a step backwards but he soon got over it since Iori wasn't the most normal boy in the whole world. "Okay, great." He said finally. Then he turned to everyone else who were just standing there in silence. "Well, let's go!"
"Now?" asked Takeru.
"Yeah, I've got a bus outside." Ken replied, leading them outside to the front yard.
"This kind of disturbs me because you obviously EXPECTED us to come with you because you got this huge bus." Observed Iori. Ken shrugged and nodded.
"All right, who here knows how to drive?" Ken asked, clapping his hands together with a huge smile plastered on his face.
"Okay, so you have a bus but you don't have a driver?" Wallace asked.
"No one's perfect!" Ken defended.
TWO HOURS LATER!!
"You're reading the map upside down!" Daisuke yelled, turning the map that Michael had in his hands upside up. "Who's idea was it to let Michael read the map?!"
All of a sudden, the bus came to a slow stop after a few putter-putters. Everyone looked at each other.
"All right Miyako, what did you do?!" demanded Yamato, coming up to the wheel. "I KNEW we shouldn't have let her drive!"
"I didn't do anything!" Miyako yelled. "I was just driving!"
"This could be the problem," said Koushiro, pointing to the gas moderator thingy. "There's no gas left."
"Don't worry, there's a town up ahead." Ken said, pointing to a little town in the distance. "We'll go down there, ask for directions, get gas and then we'll be on our way to the farm."
So they shrugged, said whatever, grabbed their stuff and started walking towards the town which they reached in about a second. When they got there, they were greeted by this man and woman that looked…
"AMISH?!" groaned Takeru. "So, Ken, where do you think they keep their GAS?"
"Don't worry about it," Ken said, looking around. "We shouldn't be all THAT far away from the farm since most farms are in Amish communities aren't they…?"
"EXCUSE me my good man!!" said Michael stupidly, walking up to the man who was standing there with a pitchfork looking unhappy. "Do you happen to know where the Gomamondigivolvestoikkakumon Farm is?!"
The man first looked surprised and then looked shocked. He turned around and through cupped hands he yelled, "ROUND UP!!" he yelled. Then all of a sudden, about fifty little Amish people came swarming up. The first Amish guy looked at them. "He seeks the Gomamondigivolvestoikkakumon Farm," he whispered.
There were murmurs and whispers among the crowd of people.
"BEWARE!!" some old crusty lady yelled as she grabbed onto Ken's arm and held it tightly. "BEWARE THE GOMAMONDIGIVOLVESTOIKKAKU-MON FARM!!"
"Uh…lady…" said Ken, trying to shake her off. He was afraid of shaking her to hard or her arm would come off and pretty soon she would fall into a trillion little pieces. Finally he wrenched himself from her grip. "We just want to know where it is, that's all."
"BEWARE!!!" she shrieked.
"BEWARE OF THE FARM!!" they all chimed while pointing in unison to the right or the left or whichever direction YOU, the reader, want it to be in. There was a crash of lightning and a boom of thunder as everyone looked at a farmhouse not to far in the distance.
"Oh, okay thanks!!" said everyone as they walked off to the farmhouse.
"BEWARE!!!" yelled all of the people.
"A complete town of nuts." Said Daisuke.
As they approached the farm, they noticed that there were two houses: the living house in which they would be staying and the farmhouse in which the animals would be staying. Simple? There were about five chickens pecking away at some seeds that had magically appeared there and then there were three cows grazing in the field and mooing.
"A farm with five chickens and three cows." Said Yamato. "How nice of Sam to leave it to you."
"I want chicken wings and a hamburger tonight." Said Hikari stupidly.
Everyone ignored her and opened the door to the house in which they would be living in. There were about fifteen chickens flying around and clucking loudly as the door opened. About seven cows turned around and mooed loudly at them as if telling them to go away.
"Nice." Said Iori, looking around. "Glad I came."
"Come on, it's not going to be THAT bad…" said Ken. "All we have to do is make them go outside."
They all looked at each other.
"What are you waiting for, Ken, go for it!!" said Taichi, pushing Ken forward.
"Me?" Ken shrieked like a little girl as he turned around. (And since his hair is so LONG, he even LOOKED like a little girl too!!) "By myself?!"
Everyone shrugged. "It's YOUR farm." Said Yamato.
Everyone turned around to see all the cows and chickens had VANISHED!!!!
"That makes sense…" said Miyako as a gust of wind blew the curtains and some evil laughing could be heard. They all stood in silence for a minute as the evil laughing continued. When the evil laughing finally stopped, Takeru put his hand on Ken's shoulder.
"Ken, we wish you the best of luck with your farm." He said. They all nodded quickly and turned around but when they tried to open the door, they found it stuck.
"Anybody got a chainsaw handy…?" Wallace asked, turning around. Everyone else did too but when they faced the door again, they didn't really SEE a door. It was just a blank wall.
"Now that makes even more sense." Said Miyako.
"I DON'T LIKE IT IN HERE!!" shrieked Mimi. "I'M SCARED!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
"Sora, if you get scared you can hold my hand, okay?!" Taichi said.
"No thanks, I want my hand to be free just in case Yamato wants to hold it." Sora said stupidly.
"All right Taichi, pay up," Yamato said.
"No, I said that she'd want to hold your hand more." Taichi said.
"No way, you said that she would want to hold YOUR hand." Yamato replied. Taichi sighed and looked defeated as he pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and handed it to Yamato.
"Hey, let's try doing the same thing to Hikari," Daisuke whispered to Takeru. Takeru nodded and they both started rubbing their hands together diabolically. They turned around to pull the same thing on Hikari when they noticed that she wasn't there.
"Hey, where'd Hikari go?" asked Takeru.
Everyone looked around and started counting heads. "You're right!" said Iori suddenly, looking around. "There are twelve of us here! Since there are THIRTEEN Digidestined, that means we're missing ONE person!!!"
"And that one person is Hikari." Said Wallace.
"She probably just went to the bathroom or something." Said Ken.
"Or went to search for the farm supply of the Phonics Game." Taichi added.
"THIS FARM HAS THE PHONICS GAME?!" shrieked Michael, Mimi and Sora as they ran off. "WAIT FOR US HIKARI!!!!"
Everyone shrugged.
"Wait a second you guys." Said Koushiro. "I mean, a couple of REALLY strange things have been happening. First there was the disappearing cows and chickens, then the gust of wind without the open window, the evil laughing and then the door that disappeared. And now suddenly Hikari turned up missing. What if…"
"Are you implying that you think my brother's FARM is haunted?" Ken asked. Koushiro shrugged and nodded. "Come on, if you're going to haunt something, you don't haunt a farm. Only losers haut farms. They always go for mansions or crickity houses with an old couple living in them. But not a FARM."
Everyone laughed at Koushiro and patted him on the back and wiped tears from their eyes. None of them actually stopped for a second to think about the fact that the disappearing door was actually very weird.
So after they had all calmed down, they seemed to forget all about the fact that the doors disappeared and the fact that it had suddenly turned dark and thundering and lightninging outside. They also didn't seem to notice and or care about the fact that Michael, Hikari, Mimi and Sora had been missing for quite some time now. But that could work in their favor.
Thought, they DID notice the fact that the clocks had suddenly chimed midnight.
Wallace looked at his watch. "Funny," he said, shaking his watch. "My watch says that it's only three in the afternoon."
"Well, your watch must be defective." Said Ken, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I say we go upstairs and find some rooms to stay in for the night."
Then they all figured WHY THE HELL NOT?! And went upstairs to find one bathroom and three bedrooms. So then they split up into three groups only to find that there was NOTHING in the rooms so they had to roll out sleeping bags.
"Okay, run this by me again." Yamato said as he laid out his sleeping bag. "We're at Ken's brother's farm with cows and chickens. We have no mode of transportation home and the way we got here…Miyako drove us all here in a big bus. Now, we're sleeping on the floor."
"Yeah and you forgot to mention all the weird stuff that's been going on around this place." Koushiro said.
"What weird stuff?" Taichi asked. Koushiro looked annoyed. "Oh, you mean the disappearing door and that kind of stuff? Well, I don't think that was all THAT weird. I mean, we've had an entire mansion disappear on us."
"But I still find it a little odd…" Koushiro continued.
"Just forget about it." Yamato said. "Nothing's happened in a while. Maybe it was just the whole…being in a new atmosphere thing."
MEANWHILE!!!
Iori was laying out his sleeping bag which was more of a square than a rectangle. It looked EXTRA small next to Miyako's sleeping bag of course. Wallace, well, he didn't really know why he was in this group to begin with but he had a crush on Miyako so he laid his sleeping bag down right next to hers.
They were just about to go to sleep when they heard a loud 'MOO!!' The three looked up to see a cow looming over them while mooing loudly like a knave.
"Great, there's a COW in our room." Miyako said, sitting up and looking more than slightly annoyed.
"I swear, that cow was NOT there before." said Iori.
"I hope there's a cow in everyone else's room." Sighed Wallace. Then they closed their eyes because they're not really all that intelligent so they didn't try to make the cow go away. If they had stayed awake for any longer, they would have noticed the light from the candle flicker a red tint in the cow's eyes. And, if they had listened closer they would have heard more than 'moo'. They would have heard 'Moowa ha ha ha ha!'
MEANWHILE!!!
"It sure was nice of Sam to leave me this farm!" said Ken. "And once I get it all fixed up, it'll actually be usable."
"And maybe you'll get some less psychotic animals." Said Takeru, looking out the window at a bunch of cows and chickens clucking and mooing and running around in circles as if they were chasing their tales.
"They're not psychotic!" said Ken, looking out the window as well and observing the cows and chickens. "Well…maybe they are."
All of a sudden, very loud clucks were heard as the window was engulfed with chicken feathers. Now, even though Ken, Takeru and Daisuke all have reasonable normal voices, when they jumped back and screamed they sounded like little school girls.
"Okay, that was pretty scary." Said Takeru, reaching for the curtain and closing it as the chickens continued to bombard the window.
HOURS LATER!!!
"I'm just not tired." Said Yamato, sitting up. "I've been lying here with my eyes wide open for hours but I still don't feel as though it's the middle of the night."
"You know I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say anything." Said Taichi.
"And now…" started Koushiro as he sat up but only to bump into a giant cow that was standing over him. Koushiro yelped and kicked himself out of his sleeping bag and scooted over into the corner, breathing deeply.
"That cow was not there before." said Yamato as if the cow standing there was normal.
"No really?!" Koushiro gasped.
"Come on, it couldn't have been THAT scary." Said Taichi.
"Well you weren't the one waking up with a cow in your face!" Koushiro HOLL-ered. "Why didn't you tell me that I was sleeping under a cow?!"
"Well, I didn't notice the cow was there until you sat up and yelped." Said Yamato. "In fact, I could have SWORN that there was NO cow over you before that. But, I could have just been imagining it."
MEANWHILE!!!
"MOOWA HA HA HA HA HA!!" laughed the evil cow that was in Iori, Miyako and Wallace's room.
"I don't know about you guys but that cow is starting to scare me." said Iori, pointing to the cow.
"Oh Iori, you're just young that's all." Said Wallace. "You shouldn't let these things scare you. Just a trick of the wind, that's all!"
"Actually Wallace, this cow is scaring me a lot." Said Miyako as the cow continued to laugh at them. "And I've also noticed that its eyes have gotten all red and…"
"Don't worry about it, you just THINK you hear the cow laughing diabolically but it really isn't." Wallace said. "You just want to hear it because you're so convinced. But if you really listen, you'll see that there is no diabolic laughter. It's just mooing."
"You know, I used to think you were smart, Wallace." Said Miyako. "But now I just think you're insane. I bet you're working with that cow to take over the world."
"The cow is NOT evil." Said Wallace.
"Um…look at its eyes and LISTEN to it laugh at us!" Miyako practically yelled while pointing to the cow. Wallace turned and looked where Miyako was pointing.
"Uh…what cow?" he said, looking around. Miyako looked around.
"Now, I KNOW there used to be a cow standing there laughing diabolically at us." Miyako said, standing up.
"Well, I know the cow used to be there but it wasn't laughing diabolically." Wallace said.
"What do you think Iori?" asked Miyako. But then she looked around to see nothing of Iori, just his little square sleeping bag. Miyako gasped. "THE COW KIDNAPPED IORI!!" she screamed. "BECAUSE HE'S SMALL AND EASY TO CAPTURE!!"
"Calm down!" Wallace said, standing up and grabbing Miyako's arm. "He probably just went to the bathroom!"
MEANWHILE!!!
"Okay, now there's ANOTHING chicken." Said Takeru. "Where do you think THIS one came from?"
"I don't know." Daisuke replied. "How many is that now?"
"No, Takeru, I think you just counted that one twice." Ken observed. "Because I'm only counting thirteen."
"I've got fifteen here." Takeru said. Ken recounted.
"Hm…sixteen…" he muttered.
"Where do you think all these chickens are coming from?" asked Daisuke. "Are you still with your theroy that there's an open window in our room when there are NO open windows?"
"No, maybe there's a hole in the wall." Ken said.
"Or maybe the chickens are just reproducing really quickly." Takeru sighed. All of a sudden, the door slammed open and Miyako and Wallace were standing there.
"THE COW KIDNAPPED IORI!!!" Miyako screamed.
"That's ridiculous." Ken said. "Why would a COW kidnap Iori? HOW would a cow kidnap Iori? You have to think about these kinds of things before you just spit them out."
"We found this note!!" Wallace declared, handing Ken a folded up piece of paper. Ken opened it.
"Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moowa ha ha ha ha ha." Ken read out loud. He looked back at Wallace and Miyako. "What is this?" he asked, kind of annoyed.
"It's the note the cow left us!!" Miyako explained.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Do you think they fell for the note?" asked Taichi. They all sat there in the middle of the floor laughing because they had just been listening to Wallace and Miyako's conversation through their door and left a note just to scare them. It had obviously worked because Miyako and Wallace had come running out of their room screaming seconds later.
"That was kind of mean of us." Said Koushiro.
"You're just saying that because you were attacked by a cow." Said Yamato. Then they looked over at the cow who was just standing there swaying back and forth and occasionally saying 'moo'.
"I wish that cow wasn't there." Said Taichi.
"And I JUST noticed that chicken on his back." Said Yamato.
"That chicken was definitely not there a minute ago." Koushiro said with an all-too-freaked out look on his face.
"Come on, Koushiro, you just didn't notice it." Said Taichi.
"Do you have some kind of phobia of farms or something?" asked Yamato. "You CLAIM all of these things are appearing out of nowhere and all these WEIRD things are happening but you can't prove any of it."
"So…you don't see the cow and the chicken?" Koushiro said, pointing to the cow and the chicken.
"Yeah we see them, we just don't think it's weird." Said Taichi. "I mean, this IS a farm house after all."
So after a moment of silence there was a suddenly 'moo' and 'cluck' cut short as they turned around to see nothing but a few feathers floating to the ground where the cow and chicken used to be.
"But I admit that was kind of weird…" Taichi said, pointing to the spot where they used to be.
The three looked at each other and then simultaneously stood up and ran to the door. Pretty soon, they were in the room where Miyako, Wallace, Ken, Takeru and Daisuke were in.
"There's a disappearing cow in our room!" they all managed to say.
"THE COW KIDNAPPED IORI!!" Miyako shrieked.
"And more and more chickens just keep showing up in our room!" Takeru said, gesturing to the chickens that where now extremely numerous by this time.
"I say we get out of here!" said Daisuke. Everyone easily agreed and turned around to open the door but…there was no door there. Only a blank wall.
They all turned around to see not only about twenty chickens and about three cows standing in their room.
"I'M NOT LIKING THIS!!!" Miyako yelled at the top of her lungs as she wrapped her arms around Ken's neck and squeezed him so hard that his face started turning red within seconds. Ken pushed her away and hacked and wheezed like a crumbly old man. "Oh…sorry about that."
"Hurry, we have to find a way out of here!" said Wallace as he started feeling around on the wall. Takeru soon joined in until suddenly, they pulled some kind of chicken statue or something and a trap door opened underneath them. They were suspended in midair for a second.
"Crap." Said Takeru. "This is all your fault!"
"It is NOT!" Wallace argued. "It was YOUR idea to pull the statue!!" And then they fell down to their doom but didn't die.
"Uh…" said everyone else.
"Okay, so how many of us are left?" Koushiro said, turning around and counting heads. "Me, Yamato, Taichi, Ken, Miyako, Daisuke…that's it."
"So that means we lost HOW many people?!" sighed Taichi.
"TO THE WINDOW!!!" Daisuke declared, pointing to the window. They all looked over to see it not there. "WHY IS EVERYTHING JUST DISAPPEARING?!" Then he looked around for something else that he hoped wouldn't disappear. "TO THE VENT!!" he yelled dramatically, pointing towards the air vent in the wall. They all ran over and unscrewed the thingy and stared at it.
"Ladies first!" said Yamato.
"I think it would be nicer and very COURTIOUS for someone else to go first since I'm a lady and I'm fragile!" Miyako said, crossing her arms. "And besides…DAISUKE IS SMALLER THAN ME!!"
It doesn't matter who goes first. I'm not going to make any of you kidnapped by this air vent because I have a plan for all of you later. Hoo-wa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
"That's not very reassuring, Narrator." Said Taichi.
JUST SHUT UP AND GO!!!!!
So everyone shrugged and one by one, all crawled through the air vent. (Just in case it pops up {you know it will because I'm telling you}, this is the order in which they are in: Koushiro, Ken, Daisuke, Taichi, Yamato, Miyako.)
"I'm glad I'm not first." Miyako practically sang to herself.
"Uh oh…" said Taichi suddenly.
"What?" asked Daisuke, looking behind him.
"I think I'm stuck." Taichi replied.
"I'm glad I'm not last." Koushiro said.
"Great," Yamato said. "I'm stuck in a cramped little air vent with evil cows and evil chickens chasing me around and now I've got to look at your ass for an extended period of time. So either you get UN-stuck or Miyako, you start going backwards."
"Lur," said Ken since he couldn't think of anything to say for the first time in his life.
"Was this your stupid plan, Narrator?" demanded Yamato.
No. I accidentally wrote myself into a corner. I HAVE AN IDEA!!!!
Taichi suddenly disappeared, never to be seen or heard from again until maybe later. All that was heard was "MOOWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"I thought you said nobody was going to be captured!" whined Miyako.
I lied.
"That's MEAN though!" said Daisuke.
I know. I'm the Narrator and I can do that if I want to.
SO ANYHOO!! Everyone eventually got to the end of the air vent without anyone else being captured or getting stuck.
"We STILL seem to be inside…" Koushiro said out loud/to himself as he climbed out of the vent and was followed shortly by Ken. One by one they all exited the vent.
"Where are we?" wondered Ken.
Then they all turned around to see about a thousand chickens and cows with glowing red eyes while they chanted "MOO!!" and "CLUCK!!"
"I say we go BACK into the vent!" declared Miyako.
"Me too, I LIKED the vent!" commented Daisuke. They turned around to see the vent NOT THERE!! WOW!!
"LOOK!!" Ken yelled. "A DOOR!!" Then they all ran over to the door before it could disappear. They pinned themselves up against the wall as they pondered on what they should do next.
"Anybody got an idea?" breathed Koushiro. "I don't for once."
"I've got it ALL figured out!" Ken declared. "I know how to beat them as long as you listen to EVERYTHING I say and don't do anything differently. Okay…"
But then he stopped suddenly when there was the sound 'DONG!!' "Ouch!" he said as he fell down onto the ground. Everyone noticed a little cowbell lying on the ground next to Ken's head. Then they looked up to see a chicken with glowing red eyes looking over the top of the barn with an evil sideways twisted smile that DIDN'T look the bomb even though they usually do but this one didn't.
"DAMN YOU CHICKEN!!" Yamato yelled.
"Hurry Yamato!" said Koushiro, bending down and picking up Ken and pushing him at Yamato. "Carry Ken!!"
"Me?! Why do I have to?!" Yamato yelled, pushing Ken back at Koushiro.
"Because you're the biggest!" Koushiro pointed out, giving Ken another push.
"I am not!" Yamato argued. But then he looked around for a minute only to realize that out of the people that were standing there, he had a good four inches on all of them. "Crap!"
"So carry him!" Koushiro said finally.
Yamato turned to Daisuke. "Come on, Daisuke!" he said. "You know Ken a lot better than I do! I feel really awkward about touching him especially carrying him around on my back!"
"I'll TRY!" Daisuke said, slinging Ken over onto his back. He started walking but slowly getting lower and lower to the ground. "I'm getting shorter!" he said as he went around the corner. Koushiro, Yamato and Miyako looked at each other, shrugged and then walked around the corner to see nothing. So they looked down just to see Ken lying there.
"Oh, THIS is good." Said Miyako. "Why did he walk around the corner anyway?!"
"Okay, so the evil cows and the evil chickens took Daisuke, our Ken carrier," Koushiro thought out loud. "But they left Ken here, the baggage. So guess what Yamato?! Looks like YOU have to carry him!"
"No, I'm not carrying him!"
"You carry him!"
"No you carry him!"
"NO YOU CARRY HIM!!"
"YOU CARRY HIM!!!" Yamato yelled. Koushiro jumped and cowered in the corner.
"Okay, fine, I'll carry him!" Koushiro said, putting his hands in front of his face. Then he looked down at Ken. "But he's bigger than me!" he whined.
"Daisuke managed just fine and Ken's a whole lot bigger than he is." Yamato pointed out.
"I don't see WHY you can't just do it!" Koushiro sighed.
"Because…I'M STUBBORN BEYOND ALL REASON!!" Yamato yelled.
"Well that's certainly obvious." Said Miyako who had just been being silent this whole time for no reason.
"Okay, so what exactly are we going to do?" asked Koushiro. "Just the four of us leave and pretend as though none of this ever happened?"
Yamato paused, and then shook his head. "No, they'll only be three of us."
"Who's not going to come back?" asked Miyako.
"Well, we're going to kill Ken for making us go through all of us." Yamato explained as if he had just DECIDED this. "And then we can go about our lives in peace."
"That sounds like a GOOD idea!" said Koushiro.
So then they started running across the huge farm that seemed to have gotten bigger. Koushiro, after a short while, started lagging behind because with that extra body on his back, he's bound to go a little slower. "WAIT FOR ME!!" he called after Yamato and Miyako.
Then he sighed and dropped Ken down on the ground so he could take a little break. He looked up at the sky for a minute and then bent down to pick up Ken only to find him not lying there all of a sudden. "What the…?" he said to himself. Then he looked ahead of him to see if Ken might have regained consciousness and gotten up. But he didn't see anything except for a cow's back. He yelped with fear and fell over backwards.
"Moo," said the cow.
"Please don't kill me!" Koushiro cried as he put his hands up in front of his face and pleaded for his life like a coward.
The cow's eyes lit up with red for a minute.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Hold on, I think we're down a couple people…" Miyako said, turning around and looking back at the field. "Do you think Koushiro fell THAT far behind or do you think that they were both captured…?"
"Too bad and I REALLY wanted to kill Ken for this." Said Yamato with a sigh as if that was all he cared about. "Oh well. Looks like it's just you and me, Miyako." Then Yamato thought for a minute. "Miyako?! Why the hell is it you?! Of all the randomness!!"
Before Miyako could react, a sudden hoof popped out of the ground. Miyako and Yamato screamed and jumped back and Miyako fainted into Yamato's arms.
Yamato turned to the screen and you, the readers.
"No, this is not a Yamayako or Miyato or whatever the hell you readers call a Yamato/Miyako love story." He said. "It just kind of happened this way."
Then he went back to the story and looked scared as a cow emerged from the ground while mooing.
"Now that is just disturbing…" Yamato said. But then a chicken sneaked up behind him with a Kendo stick and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.
Hours later in a land far, far away…
Or in the basement of the farmhouse but STILL hours later…
Everyone who was unconscious or whatever woke up by this time to find themselves in a huge cage with all the other Digidestined people sitting there.
"Oh…so you're not all dead." Yamato said.
"It's about time you found out where we were." Said Iori with an annoyed expression on his face. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I was here with Hikari, Mimi, Sora and Michael for HOURS on end!"
"Wow, Iori, you must feel pretty special being kidnapped by a cow." Said Takeru. "I fell down a trap door."
"I know, I've heard that story a million times already." Iori said with a sigh.
"Let's all just talk about HOW we were captured until the evil cows and chickens come to kill us?!" suggested Daisuke.
"NO!!" Koushiro said immediately. "Uh…mine was all too traumatizing!"
"Okay, how about this?" Daisuke wondered out loud. "How many people were captured because of Ken being unconscious? Well, I was."
"It's not MY fault!" Ken argued. "They dropped a cowbell on my head!"
"I was too." Koushiro said.
"Technically, everyone who was captured after Ken was knocked unconscious would NOT have been captured if Ken wasn't knocked unconscious." Said Miyako. "Because he had said that he knew how to defeat the evil cows and chickens and we would have been able to escape."
"Oh right!" said Yamato. "Ken, what was you're idea?"
Ken thought for a minute and then grabbed his head. "I don't remember!!" he whined. "It's as if the blow to the head made me forget!"
"All right, here's another one." Said Daisuke "How many people were unconscious when they were captured?"
Everyone looked at each other and eventually, Ken, Miyako and Yamato raised their hands.
"I was hit in the head with a Kendo stick." Yamato said, looking down as if he was ashamed of it.
"I fainted because uh…I was scared…" Miyako said.
"And as you all know, a cowbell was dropped on my head from the roof of a barn." Ken said finally.
"Okay, who had THE MOST stupid capture?"
"Well…let's think for a second…" Wallace said, counting on his fingers. "The girls and Michael went off in search of the Phonics Game…" Miyako cleared her throat. "Oh…I mean…Mimi, Sora, Hikari and Michael went off in search of the Phonics Game. Iori kind of just…disappeared. Takeru and I fell down a trap door after Takeru so STUPIDLY pulled the chicken statue… I don't know the rest from there."
"Taichi got stuck in the vent and disappeared…" Koushiro continued. Taichi turned red. "That was kind of stupid…and then…a chicken dropped a cowbell on Ken's head."
"Yeah but you guys said that I wasn't captured at that time!" Ken said.
"Oh right." Koushiro said with a shrug. "And then Daisuke picked up Ken and felt he NEEDED to go around the corner that was out of our sight."
"I thought we were going over there!" Daisuke yelled.
"And then I so NICELY took Ken from there, Ken disappeared and then the cow captured me." Koushiro continued. Then he turned to Yamato. "Care to take it from there?"
"Yeah so anyway, that's when Miyako noticed that you two were missing." Yamato continued. "Then all of a sudden, this cow started emerging from the ground and Miyako fainted. Then all of a sudden, this chicken came out of nowhere and hit me over the head with a Kendo stick and I woke up here."
Then they all stared at each other for a minute.
"Okay so now…" started Daisuke.
"SHUT UP!!" yelled everyone.
"Okay, so we know that we were all captured by evil cows and chickens so if we ever escape this, we don't have to tell anyone." Said Taichi.
"But you will not escape," came a very deep voice from the darkness over in the corner. Everyone turned around to see where the voice was coming from to see a huge body builder hybrid chicken/cow type thing standing there.
"ARGH!!" yelled everyone.
The Hybrid thing started walking towards them with cows and chickens following behind him. He was breathing deeply like Darth Vader. "Hello," he said stupidly. "I see you did not heed the warning of the pleasant Amish folk. Well, that is a mistake you will soon regret." Then he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Huge body builder cows that were standing on two legs walked in. "Do it boys."
The body builder cows walked over to the cage and ripped the door open. Everyone cowered in the corner like sissys. The body builders came over and grabbed Taichi since he was the biggest one there so they figured that he was probably the strongest.
They pinned Taichi up against a pole so that his face was pushed up against it. "Uh…this is a little uncomfortable," Taichi said after he tried to move his head back a little bit. But the cows didn't say anything, only pushed his face back up against the pole and started tying him up very tightly so that he could hardly move. When they finally let go of his head, he gasped for air as they strutted back over to the cage.
"How embarrassing…"
he thought as he thought what everyone else's facial expressions would be, seeing him standing there looking as though he was hugging the pole."HURRY UP YOU FOOLS!!" screamed the Hybrid Creature. "I don't have all day!! And if you take that long on each one then I'll just have to blow my top!!"
The cows looked worried so they decided to do three at a time. So they grabbed Yamato and Michael since they were the next biggest ones but then they figured that they might have been over taken if they had grabbed the next biggest person so they just grabbed Hikari since she is so small and weak.
"PLEASE anybody but Michael and Hikari!!" Yamato yelled as he tried to kick himself free of the evil cow's grip. But the cow that was holding him just clamped his hand over Yamato's mouth so that he couldn't say anything.
"Da-huck!" said Michael stupidly. "Where are we going?!"
The cow glanced at Michael with glowing red eyes.
Then the cow that was holding Hikari glanced at her as if daring her to say anything. But then she did. "You smell nice!" she said stupidly.
"SHUT THEM UP!!!" screamed the Hybrid Cow/Chicken thing.
(Okay, there are three Body Builder Cows: Ludwig, Bjorn and Henrich.)
Bjorn and Ludwig tied Yamato and Michael back to back and then up against the pole. Then they put Kari right in front of Yamato so her back was to Taichi.
"Face to face with her?!" Yamato yelled. "And I'm this close to Michael?! WHY?!"
Then Henrich slapped Yamato across the face.
Yamato first looked shocked. "You stupid cow!!" Yamato yelled out of sheer embarrassment because he was just slapped by a cow and it was actually VERY painful. "What kind of loser slaps someone?! Especially if that person who is slapping is OF THE MALE GENDER slapping someone who is ALSO OF THE MALE GENDER!!"
"You're hurting his feelings." Said Hikari stupidly.
"SHUT UP!!" Yamato yelled as he went to go and beat her up but then he realized that he was tied to Michael AND a pole so he only kicked her.
"OW!!" wailed Hikari. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
The Hybridy creature was getting annoyed and ordered all his enormous slaves to just tie 'em all up in a big cluster. So they did.
Nobody noticed Koushiro silently tip-toeing toward the door. Except for Sora.
"GO KOUSHIRO!! YOU CAN MAKE IT!!" she yelled. The body-builderish cows thundered over to Koushiro and enclosed him in their palms. Then they threw him against the cluster and tied him to that. They only really went around four times cause that was all the rope they had left.
Then all the cows, chickens and Hybrids ran out of the room to prepare the vat of acid that they would dip them in for absolutely no reason.
"Now what?" asked Wallace. "We're sitting here as a bunch of mutant farm animals slowly prepare our death. Yay."
"HOW CAN YOU BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS?!" shrieked Mimi.
"I was sarcastic." Said Wallace.
Koushiro turned his head around. "Hey, I'm HARDLY tied up, I could slip out of this and free you all." He said.
"YAY!!" said everyone. Now, Koushiro is smart so he knew to lift his arm first but since Michael was near him and so large, he just pushed Koushiro down into the ropes so that his head was in the rope area. From there, well, you know the rest from there. You DON'T?! Well okay then. He got stuck.
"I CAN'T GET OUT!!" came his muffled yells from inside the ropes.
Everyone would have slapped Michael like the cow body-builder had slapped Yamato but alas, they were EVER so tied up. *sniff*
"I hope you're all as uncomfortable as I am!!" Taichi declared. Everyone looked at Taichi and then decided that they didn't really have it as bad as he did but then Yamato piped in.
"OF COURSE I'M MORE UNCOMFORTABLE AS YOU ARE!!" he yelled. "I'VE GOT HIKARI IN MY FACE!!!" Hikari smiled stupidly.
"Lur," said Sora stupidly.
"I CAN'T BREATH!!" came Koushiro's voice.
"Ahuck!!" said Mimi stupidly.
"I guess I could have been okay if I wasn't tied to a pole about to be killed by some evil farm animals." Said Takeru.
"Shut up!" said Daisuke.
"Yamato, you're left cheek is all red." Said Hikari stupidly.
"REALLY?!" Yamato yelled in her face.
"I'm too YOUNG to die!!" Miyako cried.
"I can't touch the ground, I'm about three feet in the air." Said Iori, looking down.
"I wonder why Sam left me a farm with psychotic chickens and cows." wondered Ken.
"Buttered toast." Said Michael.
"So are we just calling it quits now?" asked Wallace.
All of a sudden, all the evil farm animals came back in pushing a giant bowl of acid. AHHHHHHH!!
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" everyone screamed cause they were scared. Who wouldn't be?!
A chicken body builder hooked a hook onto the pole. The rope was draped over a pulley that was hanging over the big vat of acid.
"ARGH!!" yelled everyone.
"Why are you killing us?!" demanded Ken as the body builder chickens and body builder cows started pulling on the rope so that they were being hoisted up so they were hanging over the big vat.
"Um…BECAUSE!!!" yelled the Hybrid. All of a sudden, there was a pounding from outside. The Hybrid walked over to the window and looked out it to see a bunch of people with torches slamming a log up against the door. "Is it the pleasant Amish folk?" the Hybrid asked his minions. The minions tied the rope down and looked out the window and shook their heads.
"KILL THE BEAST!!!" chanted the people as they slammed the log up against the huge door again. "KILL THE BEAST!! KILL THE BEAST!!"
"IGNORE THEM!!!" The Hybrid yelled. "CONTINUE WITH THE DIPPING!!"
The body-builders ran over, untied the rope and started slowly lowering the Digidestined people in the vat of acid.
"Okay guys, this seems to be the end." Said Taichi. "Okay, I would like to leave my OTHER pair of goggles to…"
"Wait…I think I'm FALLING!!!" interrupted Koushiro as he slipped out of the ropes but grabbed onto the last loop of rope at the last second. He was dangling about a foot above the acid.
"HE'S FREE!!!" yelled everyone.
"HOW DID HE GET OUT?!" demanded the Hybrid. "Bring the pole back over here and retie him!!"
The body builder minions silently walked over and pulled the big clan of Digidestined back over so they were kind of hovering over solid ground. The minions made jumps for Koushiro's legs but he just squirmed and wiggled and tried not to let them grab him. Pretty soon, he devised this genius plan and started climbing up the big mass of rope until he was finally standing on top of Michael.
"That feels good!" said Michael stupidly.
"Hurry, untie us!" Ken yelled to Koushiro. All of a sudden, there was a loud BASH!! Koushiro wobbled a little bit and then fell right off Michael's head and landed in the big group of minions.
"NOOOO!!" Koushiro yelled as he curled up into a little ball as the minions dived on top of him.
All of a sudden, the door to the huge room that they were in swung open and a guy in a red shirt was standing there with about a million little people behind him. "KILL THE BEAST!!!" they all yelled. Then they charged at the Hybrid and the body builders and tossed them in the vat of acid.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled all the evil cows, evil chickens and the Hybrids.
After the little people helped Koushiro lower all the Digidestined people to the ground and untie them, the leader guy looked around. "Where's Belle?" he asked.
Everyone looked at each other and then pulled out their scripts.
"It says here that we were supposed to be saved by the pleasant Amish folk." Daisuke read.
"That's not us!" said the leader man. "We're supposed to be rescuing Belle from the beast and the evil household items! See, look at my script!"
"If you guys are here, where are the Amish people?" asked Iori.
FLASH!!
"WE'LL SAVE YOU CHILDREN!!!" Yelled a million little Amish men and women as they burst into the house, ran in the room and were attacked by many things such as candles, clocks, teapots and an evil stove.
FLASH!!
"Oh." Said Miyako.
"No, you weren't supposed to actually SEE that." Said the guy in red. (His name is Gaston if you haven't already figured it out.)
"Oh, oops." Said Miyako. "I STILL wonder where they are."
"HAW HAW HAW!!" laughed everyone merrily.
THE NEXT DAY!!!
"MOM, DAD, I WENT INTO THIS PLACE AND…" Taichi yelled as he ran into his house only to see his sister and parents ALREADY playing the Phonics Game. "Never mind."
MEANWHILE!!
"Where did that giant bruise come from?" asked Matt's Dad. "You didn't get in a fight with a hideously large cow did you?"
"Um…no, just… Taichi again." Said Yamato.
"Well, he beat you pretty bad this time." said Matt's Dad, still not moving. "It's practically engulfing half your face."
"No, I won like always."
MEANWHILE!!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Wufei. (Not the REAL one of course, just Sora's Mom who LOOKS like Wufei.)
"Hi Mom." Said Sora as she ran into her room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!!
"Mom, do you believe in psychotic cows and chickens trying to kill a bunch of random kids?" said Koushiro.
"Why NO Koushiro!! Cows and chickens are NICE!! You should like them because they provide us with eggs, milk and meat!" said Izzy's "Mom". Then she paused. "You should get over your phobia of farm animals. That incident happened YEARS ago and you're older now!"
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Mimi's retarded mother.
"Hi Mom." Said Mimi as she ran into her room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME BROTHER!!" screamed Jim.
"Hi Jim." Said Jyou as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed TK's Mom.
"Hi Mom." Said Takeru as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
Hikari was playing the Phonics Game.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Daisuke's Mom.
"Hi Mom." Said Daisuke as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Miyako's Mom.
"Hi Mom." Said Miyako as she ran into her room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Iori's Grandfather as he got the stupid lips.
"Hi grandfather." Said Iori as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME MASTER!!" screamed Wormmon.
"Hi Wormmon." Said Ken as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Michael's Mom.
"Hi Mom." Said Michael as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
MEANWHILE!!!
"WELCOME HOME HONEY!!" screamed Wallace's Mom.
"Hi Mom." Said Wallace as he ran into his room never to be seen or heard from again.
THE END!!