More crud by me, Kith! Greeting, human reviewers! I do not own anything
other than Kith and the twisted and painfully non-sensible dabblings that
the characters find themselves in. Everybody following? No? Good.
Read on!
The stars danced in a gentle circle above Dib, who sat on his roof with a radio. Earlier he had been listening for more signs of the Irkans, but tonight his heart just wasn't in it. His science-oriented brain was dabbling in areas it had hardly had any use for; Dib was sulking about his social status.
Dib was, of course, a genius, but he couldn't figure out why that made him so socially undesirable.
"People should be flocking to be my friends!" he muttered to himself.
"Shut up out there!" came the expected reply. Dib sighed. The only interesting thing that had happened the entire week was Zim getting hosed by a rogue drinking fountain at skool. Brian had managed to duck the spray; it was all his fault, really, but Zim was unlucky enough to be walking behind him at that moment. The Irkan had writhed in pain for a moment, and managed to run home smoking without seeing Dib. Dib wasn't actually there to see this minor victory; he had heard about it from Keef.
Suddenly a spark in the sky caught Dib's eye. Fumbling for his binoculars, he was able to twist his radio on for incoming radio waves. Shakily he raised the powerful 'nocs to his face and gasped.
Plain as anything he could see a tiny, blob-shaped structure heading into the Earth's atmosphere. Meteor or ship, it was news! Dib drew one hand away from the 'nocs and gently turned a knob on his radio, moving slowly to not miss anything.
He didn't need to worry.
A roar of engines sounded in his headphones, which, incidentally, where set on high. Gasping from the pain, Dib ripped them off and yelled down to Gaz to get up there.
"You're doing it again!!" she yelled back.
Dib nearly started to call her up again, but decided against it. If she wouldn't come up, she didn't deserve to know.
For about a minute and a half Dib tracked the ship across the sky, and concluded it would land in his general vicinity. Then, all of a sudden, it blinked out of sight.
"Damn!" exclaimed Dib rather angrily. "Well...I could just wait for skool tomorrow, actually. Most aliens do tend to show up there. And besides, I can always find a way to dig the information out of Zim...." He looked across his shoulder, where, several blocks away, the light of the Irkan's house glowed....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"GIR!! Come quickly!" Zim pounded his fists on the console of his computer. On the monitor was a heat-sensor view of an X-class Voot Runner, designated to high ranking Invaders and soldiers; assassins, important veterans, widows, and the like.
"Gir!! Where are you?!"
The little SIR slid down a tube and popped out, clutching a plush bee as if its life depended on it. ((Which it might very well have; I guess we'll never know.))
Gir saluted the seething Zim.
"Yes, my lord!"
"Gir, scan the surrounding area for any Irkan life signs. If and when you sight one, report to me immediately."
"Yes, my lord!" With that out of the way, Gir sat down on the floor and pulled a moose toy out of its head, and then proceeded to make the bee and moose duke it out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After checking his locker for cameras or stuff like that, Dib tracked down Zim in the halls.
"So, Zim!" he said, sidling up behind his nemesis. "Didja hear anything...out of the ordinary...on the radio last night? Or the TV? Anything...interesting?"
Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib. "What makes you think anything on your pathetic human television would interest Zim?" Then, as if by magick, he realized that Dib was referring to the SPECIAL TV. He allowed himself a small grin before turning back to Dib.
"Why, I'm surprised your sensors picked it up at all, Earth-stink!" he said somewhat quietly. "It was another...are ya ready for this? it was another ALIEN!!"
Dib's eyes widened as he caught the whispered words. "Really!?" he asked stoopidly.
"Of course!!" replied Zim, with an evil smirk on his green little face. "Maybe you should go investigate, and look for any of my Invader friends!"
Dib gave Zim a weird look, and went to sit down in his desk. Zim remained out side in the hall.
"Yes," he murmured to himself triumphantly, "Go and investigate! I'm sure that whoever it is will have no qualms about destroying you for me!!"
At this point, Zim realized that he was no longer whispering. He was in his 'I'll-rule-you-all-with-an-iron-fist!' pose, and to top it off everyone within forty feet of him was staring silently in his direction.
"He's yelling to himself again," Brian whispered loudly to Zita.
Zim coughed embarassedly ((A/N: is that a word? It is now)) and went to take his seat.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
Late that night Dib snuck out of the house to find the crash site. Actually, it was more like he just walked out the door and yelled to Gaz that he would either prove to the world aliens existed or be blown up.
"I hope you do!!" she screeched back at him. Dib wasn't sure which one she meant.
Halfway down the block, Dib came into view of Zim's base, still a ways away. To his astonishment, there was another house like it, two houses down!
"Only Zim's actually looks like an alien's house," pondered Dib. "This one looks almost like...normal!"
The house in question was a tannish color, with wrought iron gates waist- high, and it was actually square in shape.... "Or at least not tilting, like Zim's." thought Dib.
Staying in the shadows, Dib ran sneakily up to the new house...thing. From behind a tree across the street, he pulled out a tiny camera and flicked it on.
"October 16th, 2002. I'm at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim. In my opinion, I--AHHHHH!!" Dib's surveillance was interrupted as something sniffed his leg.
"MiKi, leave that alone! You have no idea where that's been!"
Dib jumped up, ready to throw an insult right back at that--that beautiful girl....
She was wearing a maroon shirt that hung down below her waist, and said 'NNY' on it. Her shoulder-length hair was black on top, and gradually grew light as it went down. Her black trench came to her knees and had patches on the shoulders: one was an embroidered 'K' and on the other was an Irkan symbol.
Wait--an Irkan symbol.
Hey! An Irkan symbol!
"AHHH!!" Dib leapt back from the girl and stood pointing and shivering and gasping.
"You're one of-- of them!!"
The dog at the end of the girl's leash growled at Dib.
"MiKi, sit." The dog sat down.
"Where did you get those patches?" Dib gasped.
"I don't believe that's any of your business," she replied coldly. Her purple eyes flashed in annoyance.
"But," stammered Dib, "Your house looks like Zim's!"
A shadow crossed the girl's face. "Zim," she murmured.
Dib looked up hopefully. "You know him?" he asked.
"Know him?!" she yelled. "I have been sentenced to life with him!!" Then, as she realized she had dropped her guard, she turned on her heel and marched into her house. Some one greeted her at the door, but she just shoved past them and slammed the door on their hand.
Dib stared after her for a moment, and then made up his mind to take action. He ordered a pizza.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*15 minutes later*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Here. Thank you for eating Bloaty's Pizza."
Dib took the pizza and walked up to Zim's house. The gnomes turned to look at him. Quickly Dib knocked quietly on the door. Gir opened it.
"I'll give you this pizza if you let me talk to your master." he said cajolingly.
"Hmmm...okay!" The SIR took the pizza and dragged Dib through the door. The laser fire from four gnomes hit against the door.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Master, the human with the big head wants to talk to you, just talk."
"You let him in?! We don't want to let him in!!"
"He want to talk about our neighbor."
Zim stopped his ranting. "Our...neighbor?"
"Mmmmyep."
Zim stepped into an elevator thing and zoomed upstairs.
When he came flying out of the trashcan, Dib turned to look at him. To his utmost surprise, Zim had not bothered with his pathetic disguise. He stood, in all his alien glory, glaring at Dib.
"What neighbor do you speak of, Dib-monkey?" he demanded.
With out saying a word, Dib popped his surveillance disk into the DVD slot.
"October 16th, 2002. I am at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim," said the TV. Zim stared hard at the house on the screen.
"Definitely Irkan technology," he muttered to himself. When the camera focused on the new girl, Zim shrieked and jumped on top of the couch.
Dib laughed and smirked at Zim.
"You know her, I presume."
Zim's green face was minty pale. ((A/N: Mmm...minty....)) His bug eyes were open three inches further than eyes should ever open.
"Know her!" her screamed. "That's Invader Kith!"
"Am I supposed to know who that is?" asked Dib dryly.
Zim glared down at Dib from his perch on top of the couch. "She is one of the most revered assassins in the Irkan Empire. That's the only reason she ever became well-known."
"And why is that so unheard of?" questioned Dib.
"Because she's shorter than I am!!"
Dib stared blankly at Zim while Gir rolled around on the floor scraffing.
"And?"
"ARGH!! Kith is shorter than I am! Meaning that by all rights I should be a higher rank than she is!!"
DING DONG
Zim stared dumbly at the door. "Huh? Who uses the door bell?"
Gir ran to open the door.
Standing at the door was Kith. Beside her was a silver-and-chrome SIR.
((A/N: Psag!!)) Zim squealed and jumped into the trashcan, leaving Dib to deal with Kith.
She cocked an eyebrow at the trashcan. "That's one way to do it, I suppose...." Then she turned her attention back to Dib. "What are you doing here, Earthenoid? I require a talk with Zim."
Dib nodded mutely and pointed at the trashcan. As Kith stepped over to go in, a flurry of red and green erupted out in her face. Zim landed neatly on the couch, hands on his hips, disguise in place.
"I am ZIM!! Now, what do you want with the amazing me?" he demanded.
The girl sighed and shook her head. "Still referring to yourself in the third person?" she asked in a tired voice. "No, never mind. I need to talk to you, by order of the Tallest." She looked pointedly at Dib. "You can leave now."
"Nuh-uh! You couldn't get me out of here for all the--"
THUMP
"--stars in the Andromeda galaxy," he finished, sitting outside on the doorstep. Confused, he looked around. They had dropped him out the door. Jumping up and dodging the gnomes, Dib ran home as fast as he could.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once at home, Dib frantically set up his radio/high-powered listener-thing. Carefully he tuned it in until Zim's voice could be heard.
"--and I WILL NOT tolerate having to share my conquest with you!!"
"Do you POSSIBLY think I WANT to be here? You height exceeds your intelligence!!"
"I--hey! Wait a second--you're here for my bee, aren't you?!"
"No. I'm not here for your bee. I want my Invader status back, and the only way to do that is to conquer the planet I was sentenced to!!" The voice of Kith grew sweet and cajoling. "There is a Megadoomer in it for you if you help...."
Silence for a moment. Dib strained to hear. Finally he heard a low chuckle.
"Yes, I know what you're thinking. No, I really do! I know you're gonna help me...you know why the Tallest sent you here, don't you?" Kith asked rather evilly.
"They knew I was a worthy and trusted Invader worthy of a secret planet worthy of conquest!"
"Heh heh heh...I'm going to let you think that....Hey. Did you know that we're being listened to?"
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I hear the big-headed human's thoughts, and he's listening to the whole conversation."
Dib bolted upright. He switched the radio off and pulled out the recording disk. In an instant he and the radio were safely inside, and the disk was hidden safely away.
"Gaz! GAZ!! IwaslisteningtoZimontheradioandthere'sanotheralienwho'sanassassinandthey'reg onnadestroythe-EarthunlessIdosomething!"
His sister looked at him and cracked a knuckle.
"You're doing that TALKING thing again, you know."
Dib kicked the coffee table in exasperation. "Why does no one listen to me?!" Then he sighed. Only one thing to do.
Dib ran to his room and pulled out a padded envelope. He slipped the audio disk and a videotape in, then sat down to write a letter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Class. Today we have yet another helpless soul to add to the grossly overpopulated population of this classroom. Say hi to Kit."
Nobody said anything. Zim smirked and drummed his fingers on his desk. Dib looked around in a panic. He raised a hand. Mrs. Bitters called on him.
"Are you--"
"No, I'm not an alien, Dib," smiled 'Kit.' "But if you happen to see Bigfoot, tell him I said hi."
Everyone jeered and laughed at Dib, who slouched in his desk and frowned.
"Everybody shut up!" yelled Mrs. Bitters. "Kit, take your seat."
Zim hooked a leg behind Zita's chair and yanked it out from under her, gesturing for Kith to sit behind him. She shook her head, and he seemed to understand her. Instead, she walked up to Rob and bent down next to his ear. He nodded slowly and stood up, taking his stuff. In a trance, he walked to the back of the room and took a seat next to Willy. Kith sat down and smiled sweetly at Dib, who was thrashing in his seat. He looked over at Zim, who smiled evilly and held up a picture. Drawn in a sloppy hand on the paper was a picture of Dib lying on the ground drooling, while Zim and Kith stood on top of him, out of disguise, laughing. The Irkan flag of conquest was speared through his head. Dib clenched his fists and resolved to get even with them at lunch.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Lunch*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"This is called Glue. The humans serve it as nutrients," Zim explained to Kith. She nodded understandingly, and sniffed distastefully at her tray.
After poking their meals for several minutes, Zim and Kith threw their trays away and went outside. Dib followed stealthily.
As the Irkans sat on a bench discussing blue prints, they were interrupted by a shout. In the same instant they looked up, Dib shot a stream of water at them from a hose. Zim immediately proceeded to roll around on the ground shrieking as Kith hurriedly ran to the bathroom, also smoking. Dib laughed and dropped the hose. Slowly he sauntered over to the moaning alien. As Zim stood up, shaking a bit, Dib pulled out a squirt gun and held it to Zim's forehead. Just before he pulled the trigger, a whisp of conversation drifted past his ear.
"And that new kid Kith ran in, and guess what? She was sparking!"
"What do you mean?" said another voice.
"Like she was some kind of alien whose disguise is some sort of water- sensitive hologram that reacts negatively to water," the first voice replied.
"Heh! Like that could ever happen!" said the second voice with a laugh.
"Yeah, I know. Stoopid!" agreed the first girl.
Dib turned around and discovered that his quarry had escaped him. He allowed himself another laugh. It didn't matter. Oh no. It fit into his new plan perfectly.
'K! Done with chapter 2! Oh, I'm--
((MiKi interrupts)) --dancin' like a monkey!?
NOOO!!! I'm not dancin', like a monkey or otherwise! I was going to say I was proud!
MiKi: Ohhh....
Read on!
The stars danced in a gentle circle above Dib, who sat on his roof with a radio. Earlier he had been listening for more signs of the Irkans, but tonight his heart just wasn't in it. His science-oriented brain was dabbling in areas it had hardly had any use for; Dib was sulking about his social status.
Dib was, of course, a genius, but he couldn't figure out why that made him so socially undesirable.
"People should be flocking to be my friends!" he muttered to himself.
"Shut up out there!" came the expected reply. Dib sighed. The only interesting thing that had happened the entire week was Zim getting hosed by a rogue drinking fountain at skool. Brian had managed to duck the spray; it was all his fault, really, but Zim was unlucky enough to be walking behind him at that moment. The Irkan had writhed in pain for a moment, and managed to run home smoking without seeing Dib. Dib wasn't actually there to see this minor victory; he had heard about it from Keef.
Suddenly a spark in the sky caught Dib's eye. Fumbling for his binoculars, he was able to twist his radio on for incoming radio waves. Shakily he raised the powerful 'nocs to his face and gasped.
Plain as anything he could see a tiny, blob-shaped structure heading into the Earth's atmosphere. Meteor or ship, it was news! Dib drew one hand away from the 'nocs and gently turned a knob on his radio, moving slowly to not miss anything.
He didn't need to worry.
A roar of engines sounded in his headphones, which, incidentally, where set on high. Gasping from the pain, Dib ripped them off and yelled down to Gaz to get up there.
"You're doing it again!!" she yelled back.
Dib nearly started to call her up again, but decided against it. If she wouldn't come up, she didn't deserve to know.
For about a minute and a half Dib tracked the ship across the sky, and concluded it would land in his general vicinity. Then, all of a sudden, it blinked out of sight.
"Damn!" exclaimed Dib rather angrily. "Well...I could just wait for skool tomorrow, actually. Most aliens do tend to show up there. And besides, I can always find a way to dig the information out of Zim...." He looked across his shoulder, where, several blocks away, the light of the Irkan's house glowed....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"GIR!! Come quickly!" Zim pounded his fists on the console of his computer. On the monitor was a heat-sensor view of an X-class Voot Runner, designated to high ranking Invaders and soldiers; assassins, important veterans, widows, and the like.
"Gir!! Where are you?!"
The little SIR slid down a tube and popped out, clutching a plush bee as if its life depended on it. ((Which it might very well have; I guess we'll never know.))
Gir saluted the seething Zim.
"Yes, my lord!"
"Gir, scan the surrounding area for any Irkan life signs. If and when you sight one, report to me immediately."
"Yes, my lord!" With that out of the way, Gir sat down on the floor and pulled a moose toy out of its head, and then proceeded to make the bee and moose duke it out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After checking his locker for cameras or stuff like that, Dib tracked down Zim in the halls.
"So, Zim!" he said, sidling up behind his nemesis. "Didja hear anything...out of the ordinary...on the radio last night? Or the TV? Anything...interesting?"
Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib. "What makes you think anything on your pathetic human television would interest Zim?" Then, as if by magick, he realized that Dib was referring to the SPECIAL TV. He allowed himself a small grin before turning back to Dib.
"Why, I'm surprised your sensors picked it up at all, Earth-stink!" he said somewhat quietly. "It was another...are ya ready for this? it was another ALIEN!!"
Dib's eyes widened as he caught the whispered words. "Really!?" he asked stoopidly.
"Of course!!" replied Zim, with an evil smirk on his green little face. "Maybe you should go investigate, and look for any of my Invader friends!"
Dib gave Zim a weird look, and went to sit down in his desk. Zim remained out side in the hall.
"Yes," he murmured to himself triumphantly, "Go and investigate! I'm sure that whoever it is will have no qualms about destroying you for me!!"
At this point, Zim realized that he was no longer whispering. He was in his 'I'll-rule-you-all-with-an-iron-fist!' pose, and to top it off everyone within forty feet of him was staring silently in his direction.
"He's yelling to himself again," Brian whispered loudly to Zita.
Zim coughed embarassedly ((A/N: is that a word? It is now)) and went to take his seat.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
Late that night Dib snuck out of the house to find the crash site. Actually, it was more like he just walked out the door and yelled to Gaz that he would either prove to the world aliens existed or be blown up.
"I hope you do!!" she screeched back at him. Dib wasn't sure which one she meant.
Halfway down the block, Dib came into view of Zim's base, still a ways away. To his astonishment, there was another house like it, two houses down!
"Only Zim's actually looks like an alien's house," pondered Dib. "This one looks almost like...normal!"
The house in question was a tannish color, with wrought iron gates waist- high, and it was actually square in shape.... "Or at least not tilting, like Zim's." thought Dib.
Staying in the shadows, Dib ran sneakily up to the new house...thing. From behind a tree across the street, he pulled out a tiny camera and flicked it on.
"October 16th, 2002. I'm at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim. In my opinion, I--AHHHHH!!" Dib's surveillance was interrupted as something sniffed his leg.
"MiKi, leave that alone! You have no idea where that's been!"
Dib jumped up, ready to throw an insult right back at that--that beautiful girl....
She was wearing a maroon shirt that hung down below her waist, and said 'NNY' on it. Her shoulder-length hair was black on top, and gradually grew light as it went down. Her black trench came to her knees and had patches on the shoulders: one was an embroidered 'K' and on the other was an Irkan symbol.
Wait--an Irkan symbol.
Hey! An Irkan symbol!
"AHHH!!" Dib leapt back from the girl and stood pointing and shivering and gasping.
"You're one of-- of them!!"
The dog at the end of the girl's leash growled at Dib.
"MiKi, sit." The dog sat down.
"Where did you get those patches?" Dib gasped.
"I don't believe that's any of your business," she replied coldly. Her purple eyes flashed in annoyance.
"But," stammered Dib, "Your house looks like Zim's!"
A shadow crossed the girl's face. "Zim," she murmured.
Dib looked up hopefully. "You know him?" he asked.
"Know him?!" she yelled. "I have been sentenced to life with him!!" Then, as she realized she had dropped her guard, she turned on her heel and marched into her house. Some one greeted her at the door, but she just shoved past them and slammed the door on their hand.
Dib stared after her for a moment, and then made up his mind to take action. He ordered a pizza.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*15 minutes later*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Here. Thank you for eating Bloaty's Pizza."
Dib took the pizza and walked up to Zim's house. The gnomes turned to look at him. Quickly Dib knocked quietly on the door. Gir opened it.
"I'll give you this pizza if you let me talk to your master." he said cajolingly.
"Hmmm...okay!" The SIR took the pizza and dragged Dib through the door. The laser fire from four gnomes hit against the door.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Master, the human with the big head wants to talk to you, just talk."
"You let him in?! We don't want to let him in!!"
"He want to talk about our neighbor."
Zim stopped his ranting. "Our...neighbor?"
"Mmmmyep."
Zim stepped into an elevator thing and zoomed upstairs.
When he came flying out of the trashcan, Dib turned to look at him. To his utmost surprise, Zim had not bothered with his pathetic disguise. He stood, in all his alien glory, glaring at Dib.
"What neighbor do you speak of, Dib-monkey?" he demanded.
With out saying a word, Dib popped his surveillance disk into the DVD slot.
"October 16th, 2002. I am at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim," said the TV. Zim stared hard at the house on the screen.
"Definitely Irkan technology," he muttered to himself. When the camera focused on the new girl, Zim shrieked and jumped on top of the couch.
Dib laughed and smirked at Zim.
"You know her, I presume."
Zim's green face was minty pale. ((A/N: Mmm...minty....)) His bug eyes were open three inches further than eyes should ever open.
"Know her!" her screamed. "That's Invader Kith!"
"Am I supposed to know who that is?" asked Dib dryly.
Zim glared down at Dib from his perch on top of the couch. "She is one of the most revered assassins in the Irkan Empire. That's the only reason she ever became well-known."
"And why is that so unheard of?" questioned Dib.
"Because she's shorter than I am!!"
Dib stared blankly at Zim while Gir rolled around on the floor scraffing.
"And?"
"ARGH!! Kith is shorter than I am! Meaning that by all rights I should be a higher rank than she is!!"
DING DONG
Zim stared dumbly at the door. "Huh? Who uses the door bell?"
Gir ran to open the door.
Standing at the door was Kith. Beside her was a silver-and-chrome SIR.
((A/N: Psag!!)) Zim squealed and jumped into the trashcan, leaving Dib to deal with Kith.
She cocked an eyebrow at the trashcan. "That's one way to do it, I suppose...." Then she turned her attention back to Dib. "What are you doing here, Earthenoid? I require a talk with Zim."
Dib nodded mutely and pointed at the trashcan. As Kith stepped over to go in, a flurry of red and green erupted out in her face. Zim landed neatly on the couch, hands on his hips, disguise in place.
"I am ZIM!! Now, what do you want with the amazing me?" he demanded.
The girl sighed and shook her head. "Still referring to yourself in the third person?" she asked in a tired voice. "No, never mind. I need to talk to you, by order of the Tallest." She looked pointedly at Dib. "You can leave now."
"Nuh-uh! You couldn't get me out of here for all the--"
THUMP
"--stars in the Andromeda galaxy," he finished, sitting outside on the doorstep. Confused, he looked around. They had dropped him out the door. Jumping up and dodging the gnomes, Dib ran home as fast as he could.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Once at home, Dib frantically set up his radio/high-powered listener-thing. Carefully he tuned it in until Zim's voice could be heard.
"--and I WILL NOT tolerate having to share my conquest with you!!"
"Do you POSSIBLY think I WANT to be here? You height exceeds your intelligence!!"
"I--hey! Wait a second--you're here for my bee, aren't you?!"
"No. I'm not here for your bee. I want my Invader status back, and the only way to do that is to conquer the planet I was sentenced to!!" The voice of Kith grew sweet and cajoling. "There is a Megadoomer in it for you if you help...."
Silence for a moment. Dib strained to hear. Finally he heard a low chuckle.
"Yes, I know what you're thinking. No, I really do! I know you're gonna help me...you know why the Tallest sent you here, don't you?" Kith asked rather evilly.
"They knew I was a worthy and trusted Invader worthy of a secret planet worthy of conquest!"
"Heh heh heh...I'm going to let you think that....Hey. Did you know that we're being listened to?"
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I hear the big-headed human's thoughts, and he's listening to the whole conversation."
Dib bolted upright. He switched the radio off and pulled out the recording disk. In an instant he and the radio were safely inside, and the disk was hidden safely away.
"Gaz! GAZ!! IwaslisteningtoZimontheradioandthere'sanotheralienwho'sanassassinandthey'reg onnadestroythe-EarthunlessIdosomething!"
His sister looked at him and cracked a knuckle.
"You're doing that TALKING thing again, you know."
Dib kicked the coffee table in exasperation. "Why does no one listen to me?!" Then he sighed. Only one thing to do.
Dib ran to his room and pulled out a padded envelope. He slipped the audio disk and a videotape in, then sat down to write a letter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Class. Today we have yet another helpless soul to add to the grossly overpopulated population of this classroom. Say hi to Kit."
Nobody said anything. Zim smirked and drummed his fingers on his desk. Dib looked around in a panic. He raised a hand. Mrs. Bitters called on him.
"Are you--"
"No, I'm not an alien, Dib," smiled 'Kit.' "But if you happen to see Bigfoot, tell him I said hi."
Everyone jeered and laughed at Dib, who slouched in his desk and frowned.
"Everybody shut up!" yelled Mrs. Bitters. "Kit, take your seat."
Zim hooked a leg behind Zita's chair and yanked it out from under her, gesturing for Kith to sit behind him. She shook her head, and he seemed to understand her. Instead, she walked up to Rob and bent down next to his ear. He nodded slowly and stood up, taking his stuff. In a trance, he walked to the back of the room and took a seat next to Willy. Kith sat down and smiled sweetly at Dib, who was thrashing in his seat. He looked over at Zim, who smiled evilly and held up a picture. Drawn in a sloppy hand on the paper was a picture of Dib lying on the ground drooling, while Zim and Kith stood on top of him, out of disguise, laughing. The Irkan flag of conquest was speared through his head. Dib clenched his fists and resolved to get even with them at lunch.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Lunch*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"This is called Glue. The humans serve it as nutrients," Zim explained to Kith. She nodded understandingly, and sniffed distastefully at her tray.
After poking their meals for several minutes, Zim and Kith threw their trays away and went outside. Dib followed stealthily.
As the Irkans sat on a bench discussing blue prints, they were interrupted by a shout. In the same instant they looked up, Dib shot a stream of water at them from a hose. Zim immediately proceeded to roll around on the ground shrieking as Kith hurriedly ran to the bathroom, also smoking. Dib laughed and dropped the hose. Slowly he sauntered over to the moaning alien. As Zim stood up, shaking a bit, Dib pulled out a squirt gun and held it to Zim's forehead. Just before he pulled the trigger, a whisp of conversation drifted past his ear.
"And that new kid Kith ran in, and guess what? She was sparking!"
"What do you mean?" said another voice.
"Like she was some kind of alien whose disguise is some sort of water- sensitive hologram that reacts negatively to water," the first voice replied.
"Heh! Like that could ever happen!" said the second voice with a laugh.
"Yeah, I know. Stoopid!" agreed the first girl.
Dib turned around and discovered that his quarry had escaped him. He allowed himself another laugh. It didn't matter. Oh no. It fit into his new plan perfectly.
'K! Done with chapter 2! Oh, I'm--
((MiKi interrupts)) --dancin' like a monkey!?
NOOO!!! I'm not dancin', like a monkey or otherwise! I was going to say I was proud!
MiKi: Ohhh....