Mass Effect in an oversized, deformed nutshell.
Disclaimer: Despite having constantly wished and focusing my energy to bend space and time, I do not own Mass Effect or any of it's characters. BioWare does. EA sucks.
The year was 2183. 35 years ago – that's 2145 for you lazy people, humanity discovered some dead race's ruins on a certain red planet. The technology they uncovered allowed people to move super fast in space and move things with their mind. Humanity called it 'A really cool thing'.
The other galactic people call it...
MASS EFFECT
DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN
Back in 2183, Captain David Anderson and Ambassador Donnel Udina were having a discussion on who should the Executive Officer aboard a supah cool ship called the Normandy – which was given to Anderson on his birthday.
The Normandy is a frigate specced with the most advanced in stealth systems. It was the first of it's kind in both design and function. It was also a ship of inter-species design. The turians helped. Turians being walking birds with face tattoos. Back to the point, Ambassador Udina eventually said the line that started it all...
"Well, what about Shepard?"
Commander Shepard was eavesdropping from the very beginning. Obviously, when he heard this, he was overjoyed. He jumped around outside the door. Suddenly, the camera crew came by. Shepard immediately looked out the nearest window he can find and tried to look all concentrated and focused.
Shepard is now Executive Officer (XO) of the Systems Alliance Space Vehicle Normandy Stealth Reconnaissance 1 (SSV Normandy SR-1). He walked around. Feeling amazing. He walked over to the Communications Room where Anderson and a turian Spectre (Special Tactics and Recon) were waiting for him.
Shepard was confused. This mission was supposed to be a shakedown run. Go to some colony full of dumb farmers and some mechanics, do some stuff, get out. That simple. Why would they bring a Spectre along? During this moment of intense thinking, a message came in. The helmsman, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau aka Best Goddamn Helmsman In The Entire Alliance Navy patched it in.
It was horrifiying. Broken up video feed showing gunfire and explosions on the colony of Eden Prime. People dying everywhere. This was obviously a distress call. Anderson however, saw something else. He rewinded the video and paused it at the right moment. And there it was. A massive ship that looked like some deranged lunatic threw a cuttlefish into a supersizing machine, painted it black and attached laser beams to its tentacles. Needless to say, it shocked the trio. Nihlus' mandibles were not the same ever again.
Shepard was finally told the truth; this was no ordinary shakedown run. "I knew it", Shepard thought. Apparently, the colonists have discovered a Prothean beacon. Protheans being the aforementioned dead race. The Protheans are believed to have invented mass effect technology, the mass relay system and the Citadel itself. But, 50,000 years ago, they vanished. Now, they (Anderson and other people) want to extract the beacon in hopes of learning more about the Protheans.
Shepard also learned that Nihlus was going to accompany him on this mission because Nihlus the Walking Bird was sent by the Citadel Council to assess Shepard's candidancy. That's right, Shepard was to be a Spectre. The first human Spectre.
Shepard and two others – Staff Lt. Kaidan Alenko and Corporal Richard Jenkins – touched down on Eden Prime. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into...