You Were With Me Through The Night
A/N: Yes, I realize that the one-shot is a little confusing at times. But if you follow the storyline like a good reader, you should get it. And the "ancient belief" at the end is real. And one more thing... the first part of the story takes place in the really early AM time, and the last parts are when the sun has risen. This means that nothing involving the nighttime has occurred. So my story title is incorrect, you say? Well, not exactly. The title itself has a special meaning so that when I say "you were with me through the night" it doesn't have to mean PM but something dark and bad... ah, you get it now? This was BETA-ed by the wonderful Belezza (Ashley). Okay, enough nonsense. On with the story!
Something was calling her to wake. She didn't want to, but at the same time she no longer felt sleepy. She then opened her eyes and realized that all hell had come that night on her bed.
Hermione's eyelids fluttered a little, though they still remained open. She felt a crushing weight on her chest and throughout the rest of her body. She could only summon enough energy to keep on breathing, the only sound to break the silence of that night.
Her cheeks were burning and her entire body seemed to be encased in flames. She managed to whimper a little, which brought a reaction from the body lying next to her.
"You're awake?" Draco Malfoy whispered.
Hermione, who only managed to whimper before, could not have possibly answered him with any words in the crushing feeling she had all over.
Draco detected the tiniest hint of a nod from the girl next to him, and he asked if something was wrong. When he softly brushed her cheek with his finger, he realized what the matter was."Your cheeks feel like they're on fire. I think you have a fever."
Hermione whimpered in agreement.
It was then Draco knew that he had brought this down on Hermione himself. Trying to conceal some of his anger, he said, "And why do you think you'd get sick?"
She knew this was coming.
"I told you that you shouldn't concentrate on your schoolwork just now, and that you should get a good amount of rest just in case anything happens. But you feel like you have to go to bed at one in the morning, just because you think that some things are supposed to be fussed over."
Hermione looked at him tiredly, trying to hide her surprise that he knew.
"If it's hard for you to fall asleep because you're so worried about me, then don't think about it." He looked down at her, and at that moment, he wondered where his anger had come from, and who he was really mad at.
She closed her eyes. It was quiet for a long time.
Draco studied her current state. From the way she was sweating, the way her lips were a striking red, and the way her cheeks were flushed all over, he knew her fever was bad. Maybe he shouldn't have told her outright, maybe he should have saved it for another time. He couldn't help exploding about it, impatient as he was, but he knew that it was a delicate topic that she took seriously. However she didn't know that he wasn't only yelling at her.
As time stretched on, his anger began to cool down. He saw her swallow, and summoned her water. She thirstily gulped down the cupful.
Once she had finished he said softly, "Try to speak."
She tried to clear the lump in her throat, failed, and whispered hoarsely, "Something's wrong."
She was always the type who needed answers, and would not rest until she found a solution she considered acceptable. Right now she was trying to reach out to him and ask him for an answer to why they had to be fighting this war, to why the Burrow had had to have protection tripled every few weeks, to why she was warned to stay home whenever she wanted to go outside, even for a brief walk, and to why she had to worry about Draco every second. But he didn't know the answer; he didn't know a single thing to say to keep her quiet for one second. After all, he had chosen to come over to the good side just as the end of his redemption was drawing near. Perhaps that was one reason why she liked him – because she wanted to discover exactly what made Draco Malfoy turn. But what else did he know? Turning at the last possible second didn't mean he had a solution to everything. And here was this girl, who had believed in him and who had loved him. All she wanted was an answer, an answer as to why there are so many unanswered questions in this world. But he had to be honest; he had to tell her something.
Draco piled more covers on top of Hermione and said quietly, "If something's wrong you fix it."
She seemed to accept that. "It's so hot under the covers." she managed to say in a soft voice after a while.
"If you kick them off I will hex you."
She smiled a little as he tucked in the covers snugly around her. She would never have had the energy to kick off the blankets even if she wanted to.
"That only makes it feel hotter."
He held her hand tightly, and for a moment, she looked scared.
"I can hardly feel your hand Draco."
"When you're sick, you get a little numb. It's normal."
What Hermione said next worried Draco, "I think knives are ripping me apart."
Draco had no answer to this question, and instead whispered, "It hurts?"
Hermione swallowed, her dry throat scraping even more dry insides. She bravely said, "No."
She was scaring Draco. She had to shut up. How could she be so selfish and make him worry about her fever when he had been on the run from Voldemort for the past 6 months?
Draco said a little sternly, "Tell me the truth."
She didn't want to tell him that she felt like she was suffocating, that something was crushing her inside which made her feel like she should just give up. No matter how deeply she looked, there would be no solution for this feeling of suffocation. She didn't want him to worry, however, and she wanted to make him believe everything was okay. Though, Draco could see through all her lies immediately, so she just twisted the truth.
"It… it feels like a battle is going on inside of me." In a way, it was true. Inside she felt her blood pumping a thousand miles a minute against the unknown intruder inside her body. Though, she had another battle going on too, one that didn't concern an intruder but instead Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, and herself.
For a moment Draco looked unsure. Then he laughed.
"Battles are going on inside of everyone, Hermione." He gazed into her eyes, "Just never let go."
Hermione didn't know what it was, but at that moment, at that time when she saw Draco's grey eyes look into hers so deeply, she broke down. How could everything be okay? How could she pretend to be something impossible?
Her unworried mask she had put on broke apart as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Hermione?" Draco said worriedly.
"Nothing," she said, trying to wipe away her tears. Somehow her crying seemed to hurt so much more than the burning she felt.
Still, he knew, and she knew he knew.
It's just that you've been in hiding for half a year and you could be dead in the blink of an eye. Death Eaters everywhere are after you and still you come here every night to be with me and to make sure nothing has happened to me. On top of that, now you have to care for me because I'm not brave enough to fight a battle I put myself in. You are one crazy ferret, do you know that?
Even though Hermione didn't speak any of this out loud, Draco heard it inside.
He looked at her, underneath all the covers, at her small flushed face peeking back at him, and he asked himself how he had managed to close himself from her during their six years at Hogwarts. All he had wanted, and all he had ever asked for was for someone to care, for someone to say that Draco Malfoy was not the git he had acted like all throughout school. Also, he failed to – no, not failed, but did not want to -- kill Dumbledore and that was proof of the fact that he still had some decency left. Because the Slytherin Prince was made of so much more than he ever let on.
That night when he had ran away with Snape, he had actually thought of her. When he and Snape had arrived at a sanctuary, he had had enough time alone to think of the past 24 hours and all he had done. He had thought, "If someone saw what happened back then, would they truly believe that that was the real Draco Malfoy and not a cowardly loser version of Potty or Weaselbee? I did what I knew I had to do, I didn't kill him, but would anyone care? Would anyone be willing to forgive Draco Malfoy for not having the courage to say no to the Dark Lord? How in bloody blazes does Potter even stand up to him? How come Longbottom can stand up to him and I can't? How come I can't even say the Dark Lord's name?"
Then something funny happened. All of a sudden, Hermione's voice had popped up in his head.
"Fear of name only increases fear of self."
Draco remembered that she said it back in second year in Flourish and Blotts, how he had scowled upon Hermione when she had said that. It was funny how four years later he had realized the truth in what she said.
Granger is righteous too, isn't she? She is a Mudblood, and she knows that she is a big target for the Dark Lord, yet she still runs along Potter's side. How does she do that when death is practically staring into her eyes?
Then, finally, Draco Malfoy knew what he had to do. Three long mornings in which he spent some good hours trying to convince himself after he and Snape had escaped Hogwarts, he Apparated to the Burrow. Of course, he hadn't passed his Apparition exam yet, so he was quite nervous what would happen, even though he had done fairly well during practice lessons. In addition to that, the Burrow was under so much protection he couldn't Apparate within 10 feet of the house, so he arrived at the edge of the neighborhood, a little shaken, but successful. Breathing a little sigh of relief, he looked around to see if anyone had spotted that little piece of magic. As he looked behind him, he realized how far he had come already. He peered ahead, and also realized that all it took for him to somehow amend for his mistakes was to lay one step at a time towards the Burrow. He wasn't afraid of going slowly, but he was afraid of standing still. He inhaled deeply and took a quick little step forward. It was really all it took, just one step in the right direction.
A couple of more quick steps, and he was there.
The Burrow.
What he did afterwards, he could never truly believe.
Hermione was looking at Draco; still feeling like she had stepped in flames but the pain much subsided now. She gave a little smile, and closed her eyes, thinking back to just six months ago, when Mrs. Weasley had told her of the news.
"Of course we knew that a wizard was approaching. How could we possibly not, with the protection the Burrow has? Though, we never suspected that Draco Malfoy would just walk up to our doorstep and knock. Arthur wasn't home then, but Bill and Fleur were, and all three of us approached the door with our wands out. Bill opened the door and there stood Draco Malfoy, looking like the world had fallen for him and that he was just a ghost of the past. Then, Draco just… he just gave up his wand and said, 'I come in no harm.,' And he couldn't possibly think to live if he really meant harm, not when he had given up his wand and he had three wands pointed at him. We then told him to come in, and he said…"
Draco looked at Hermione, who seemed to be thinking, with a little smile playing on her lips. And even though she couldn't see, he smiled back.
Even now, looking back, he could still remember what he had said to the Weasleys (Fleur being one now too).
"What do you do when everything you believed in has turned against you, that people from every side are hunting you down right now?" he had begun softly. Then he looked at Bill, whom he felt would understand him most out of all three. "I am here right now not because I feel like I need a home, not because I ask for pity, but because I need to show others what Draco Malfoy can really be. I'm sorry, I have no information to offer on the Dark Lord, but I do know that you now have an able-bodied 16-year-old willing to fight for the good side. That's all I can give." he then stopped abruptly, not knowing where to go from there.
It was a big surprise when Mrs. Weasley said to him with so much strength in her voice that he had shivered, "Draco Malfoy, you're willing to show others who you really can be? Well, you better show them good so that they'll shut their mouths the next time they say you're good for nothing!"
He looked up, astonished that she would relent so easily. Then he saw Bill looking at him, long and hard, like he was reconsidering the idiot Draco Malfoy had acted out, and seeing the real him for the first time.
Fleur then said quietly, "Welcome to a new start."
Hermione opened her eyes again and looked at Draco. She said, "You've gotten so far."
He gave a little smile, "And who do I thank?"
She answered, "I only thought that I should give you a chance."
"Weasley certainly didn't think so and Potter didn't really trust me either."
"Well, now they know that they were wrong."
The following months had been very eventful. Neither Harry, Hermione, nor Ron were informed of Draco's change of heart until they had arrived at the Burrow for the summer. Hermione remembered Ron's first reaction very well.
He had blasted Draco away with his wand and screamed, "INCARCEROUS!"
Immediately ropes bonded and kept a struggling Draco in place.
Wand pointing threateningly at his heart, Ron thundered, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" He continued yelling at him using vulgar language.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Weasley rushed into the room when Ron had started using profanity. She gasped to see Draco all tied up and struggling on the floor, and immediately released the binds. "Ronald Weasley, how dare you treat Draco like that!"
Ron gaped at her. "Why are you calling him Draco?!"
Mrs. Weasley glared at her youngest son, "Apologize to him immediately!"
"Are you crazy?"
It was then that Hermione spoke up. "Ron… give Malfoy a chance."
Ron had just turned to gawk at her when Mrs. Weasley said, "You should hear his story first before attacking him like that! And lower your wand!"
Harry had remained silent all this time, but he pushed Ron's wand away.
Ron looked speechless for a moment until his fury brought back his words. "What has gotten into you people? Don't you remember? He was the one who tried to kill Dumbledore! He nearly had Katie killed too!"
"And he nearly killed you too," Hermione said. "But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't let others talk."
Ron shut up, although he did so only with a glare at Draco.
Harry spoke up quietly, "Mrs. Weasley, what exactly happened to Malfoy?"
Mrs. Weasley said, "Do you notice anything different about Draco?"
Hermione peered at the boy – now a young man – that had teased her endlessly about her looks and had been the first to call her a "Mudblood". She knew that, even the night he had ran away with Professor Snape, he had called her a Mudblood in front of their ex-headmaster. What could have been so different about Malfoy? How could he have changed in less than a month?
But when Hermione looked at him, she knew Mrs. Weasley was right – Malfoy seemed different from the unhappy lost boy that had run away less than a month ago.
Malfoy seemed – if only a little bit – happier, less troubled, and less tired. When he had still been in Hogwarts, he had had dark rings under his eyes and a gray tinge in his cheeks. Now, he didn't exactly look like he had been having the time of his life, but he certainly looked much healthier.
Even Harry had noticed. He said slowly, "I told you, I was there and saw everything that happened between the Death Eaters and Dumbledore." Hermione nodded, but Ron didn't say anything. Malfoy, who had now gotten up and appeared more composed, only looked at Harry in surprise.
"Well… Malfoy apparently didn't even try to kill Dumbledore, not even after he was cornered and wandless."
"We know that, Harry, but that still doesn't mean –"
"Ron, Dumbledore –" Hermione saw Harry swallow and start over. "Dumbledore said himself that Malfoy was innocent. I'm not saying I trust him, no, that would take much more, but do you really think that Dumbledore has ever judged someone wrong? Do you think that, after knowing us for 7 years, he wouldn't know who was evil and who wasn't?"
Hermione said softly, "Ron, if Harry could be gracious enough to speak about Malfoy like that, don't you think you should at least give Malfoy a chance?"
Everyone was quiet until Mrs. Weasley spoke up. "Ron, just two weeks ago Draco came to our doorstep and confessed that he wanted to be on our side. For the past two weeks, he's done nothing but help Bill, Fleur, and me. If he was evil, I think we would've known, or at least suspected something by now."
Even Hermione was shocked to hear that Draco had seemed to change so much.
Now Hermione would've laughed to see how the old her would react knowing that Draco was now the person she loved and cared for the most.
"Draco, did you think that I would forgive you so quickly?"
"No, but then again I didn't think anyone would ever forgive me."
After that, Mrs. Weasley had had a secret talk with Hermione, in which she told her in more detail exactly what had happened when Draco Malfoy turned to the good side. She also told Hermione that she did not need to ever forgive Draco, not with the way he had publicly insulted her by calling her such a low term like Mudblood. Though, Hermione had forgiven him, because she knew that kneeling down and begging to be accepted to the good side was not an easy thing to do, even if Draco had done it in a most ungracious manner.
It took her only half a month to start accepting Draco. It was on certain rare occasions that she found herself alone with him in the Burrow, but even then he had never uttered a single "Mudblood" to her ever again. Hermione appreciated it, even if no one who had manners would call her a name like that. Though, she knew that growing up with your mother and father ramming certain things down your throat, those words eventually make way to come out of your own mouth. In an entire summer, he had learned to change his biased ways and finally saw everyone as an equal, unless it was a Death Eater or Voldemort himself. Of course, he didn't all of a sudden become best friends with Ron or Harry, but they had learned to trust him.
"Draco, I think my fever just got a little worse." She knew this because she suddenly felt tired and some of the pain had returned.
Draco moved closer to her and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"It hurts," she blurted out unexpectedly.
Of course he knew that. "Don't let go. It's only a fever."
They both knew it wasn't only a fever. It was everything. Hermione had become so tired of the war between the light and the dark, and she had to juggle the fighting along with teaching herself using books (as she wasn't going to Hogwarts anymore) and trying to deal with just plain life. Still, she wasn't going to give up.
"Keep on fighting."
She closed her eyes and smiled., "Okay. I'll do it for you."
"One last thing," Draco said.
She felt her breath against his neck, and, at that moment, she knew everything would turn out okay at the end.
She heard a loud bang and awoke with a start. It was pitch black, and not even the streetlights outside were lit. Her eyes searched the room around her for a light source, and only then did she see the silvery-gray eyes staring intently into hers.
She screamed.
"Granger, be quiet!" Malfoy clamped a hand over her mouth.
Her breathing came out forced and ragged and he removed his hand. Slowly, her breathing went back to normal and she gazed at him in fear.
It had only been a month ago that she had forgiven him. It was too soon for him to betray her, to betray them all like that…
"Please don't tell me that you're going to kill me." she blurted out suddenly.
Malfoy gazed at her in wonder, "Why would I say that?"
"Because I d-don't want to believe that I was wrong about y-"
A bang from outside stopped her in mid-sentence, this one much louder than before.
"What was that?" she whispered, her eyes widening.
"I don't know. I woke up before hearing some strange noises and I stepped out into the hall. Potter was there too and he looked at me a little weirdly. Then he said something about looking out for the others and he crept downstairs. I figured that, well, I should go to you first, because, you know, Mudbl-" he stopped abruptly.
She smiled in spite of herself. She hadn't been wrong about him, and, on the plus side, he was really trying to stop calling her that name, Mudblood.
"Go on." she prodded gently.
He could hardly meet her eyes as he continued softly, "Because his supporters are after… you know, witches and wizards of Muggle parentage. I thought I should check on you, just to make sure you're okay. I wouldn't have wanted anything to happen to you..." He trailed off, looking very uncomfortable.
It was then that she gave him her first genuine smile.
Hermione remembered that time so well… and everything had turned out okay with Draco by her side. Just like now.
"One last thing," he said.
"What is it, Draco?"
"Don't worry about me. Just for tonight, don't think that the next day you'll never see me again or that I'll never come back."
She suddenly felt tears pushing against the back of her eyes, and she squeezed both her eyes tight. He didn't know how much this meant to her.
"I'll always be with you, no matter what."
Underneath the covers, she reached for his hand and she held it tight. She smiled but didn't say anything, because she wasn't worrying. Even if Draco really had to leave her one day, he would still watch over her no matter what.
Someone was calling her to wake again. She opened her eyes. This time she felt no burning, no crushing pain inside. She felt okay.
"Hermione?" There was a soft voice floating near her ears.
"Draco?" she said.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Draco."
"Yes?"
"I won the war."
He smiled, "I think I know that."
She smiled back.
"There's something I need to show you."
She asked, "What is it?"
He said, "Grab some blankets with you. I want to bring you outside."
Hermione couldn't believe her eyes. Everything around her was white. Nothing but pure white, and it all mirrored how she felt inside. "When did this happen?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," Draco said with a smile, "But I think it was around the time earlier this morning when you woke up with a fever."
"How did you know that it snowed?" she asked. There were no windows in her room.
Draco shrugged. Sometimes he didn't need to answer her questions, because knowing the answers didn't matter all the time. Hermione accepted that with a laugh.
"Do you know what that means?"
"What?"
"When someone is in trouble and it snows… that means they're forgiven."
She smiled, "Did you make that up?"
"No," he said, taking her into his arms. "It's an ancient belief."
The two stood, surrounded by whiteness everywhere. Ice glittered on trees, and snow was sprinkled on top of all the houses like it was confetti thrown. The sky was a fading blue, and a little patch of sun broke out between the clouds. The sun was not shining enough to make all the snow melt, but it was bright enough, and strong enough to look like a little ray of hope.
"We were both in trouble this morning, weren't we? We've been in trouble all along." Hermione whispered.
"Yes," Draco replied. "But now everything is forgiven. You're pure again."
Hermione snorted, which Draco discovered didn't break any of the innocence they felt standing there. "Again? What do you mean again? I've never been pure, have I?"
Draco gave a little smile. "It's something that only I probably understand."
Hermione watched him, and she couldn't help but smile along. "You're a crazy ferret."
"You get changed into a ferret once and that nickname stays with you for life." Hermione giggled. "You remind me of something too."
"What?"
"A Phoenix."
"Because I burned in fire this morning but came out alive?" she teased.
"You can put it that way, but, brightest in the year, and interpretation skills are so low. Looks like I'm going to dethrone you."
"What I meant was you kept my ashes together, Draco, when they were falling apart, and so a new baby Phoenix emerged."
"And you came out pure again." Draco said. "Well, I can always settle for brightest wizard."
This time, she understood. She knew that she still had many more questions, but she also had a few answers now too.
Hermione looked into his deep silver gray eyes, the ones that had watched over her for so many nights now.
I love you.
She wanted to say that to Draco, but she knew of another way to phrase it.
"Even when the other Phoenix was dirty, you loved it with all your heart."
And she had a sudden flashback to just earlier that morning, when Draco had said:
"I'll always be with you, no matter what."
THE END
A/N: So how'd you like it? Feedback would be much appreciated, don't be afraid of criticism (just not too harsh please). One more thing, that quote "He wasn't afraid of going slowly, but he was afraid of standing still" is an edited form of another quote by someone else, who just so happens to be unknown. I'm not lying! It said so in my journal. ;)