Disclaimer: I do not own 'Death Note'.
"Rotten" - Speech
'Rotten' – Thoughts.
Rotten - Showing the past
Warnings: Elements of abuse, mentions of drug use, elements of sociopaths/psychopaths, murder, mental health illness, mental insatiability, questionable morales, hints of animal cruelty, and male/male.
Trigger warnings for abuse. It's barely shown though.
I've been gone a long time haven't I? Well, I'm back now and feeling a lot better about this year than the last. I'm positive, energized and ready to face the future. Starting this year off with a bang, I'm going to re-write this ENTIRE story from start to finish because holy crap my writing was horrible. Hopefully I can breathe some sense and realism into this mess.
If you've already read this story, then know that what you're about to read is different from the original. Be warned.
If you haven't read this story, I hope you enjoy what's in store! By the way, my OC is not a Stan Sue. If he begins to resemble one, TELL ME! (:
Edited: 23. 01. 18 [thank you SS for point out I was writing in odd past/present tenses]
._._._.
"There were a billion lights out there on the horizon and I knew that all of them put together weren't enough to light the darkness in the hearts of some men."
― Michael Connelly, The Scarecrow
._._._.
Kai flicks his cigarette over the windowsill. Watching as the red ember of the bud slowly dies out against the heavy rain. 'How fitting,' Kai thinks.
Thud.
"Get up!"
He sighs and leans against the windowsill, listening to the wind rattle trees. Leaves scraping against each other and branches creak and scratch the side of his house. He shivers when spits of rain begin hitting his pale skin.
Digging into his pocket, he brings out a packet of cigarettes and bumps one up to the top. Places it in his mouth and fishes for his zippo lighter.
"I come home after six years and find out you've been fucking other men?! For money?!"
"What else could I have done! Get a normal job? Ha! You have a reputation in Japan, nobody would hire me!"
For a moment he thinks that maybe he should call Yagami-san, that's what a good person would do when their Tou-san is beating their Kaa-san, but he quickly decides against it. It would only cause more issues to arise, like why he didn't call the police the moment his Tou-san showed up on the doorstep when he was supposed to be 100 yards away. Why he didn't call them the second his fist hit his Kaa-san - or when he heard the first scream.
He could. He could call the police right now, and when they ask those questions he could just spin them some pretty lies.
Kai takes out his lighter and flicks it on.
Then again…
"You worthless bitch!"
…his Tou-san's anger wasn't being directed at him right now. If he went in to stop him, then he'd get injured.
Kai couldn't have that. If someone lashes out at him right now, he doesn't know if he could stop himself from doing permanent damage. It would be a major set back in all the self-control he's been practicing.
"Gomen, Kaa-san," Kai says softly when he hears a terrible little whimper in the next room. He feels nothing. "You must understand though." She doesn't, he knows it. She's never understood him. She never understood his fascination with death, with blood, why pain makes him feel so very alive. She thought he was a freak. A monster.
Well…she's not wrong with the monster front. He's certainly not naïve.
He is a monster. A very violent one, at that – but he's learning how to contain that dark side of him. Learning how to manage his urges. Having rules to keep him appearing normal, to keep him from being a slave to his compulsions.
It was just unlucky, he supposed, that tonight of all nights Tou-san came back from prison knowing how unfaithful his wife was.
How unlucky.
Kai smirks.
._._._.
When Kai was young, he liked to watch people.
He found it interesting, how they were different from him. Normal. And tried to imitate them – Am I normal now? Kaa-san, am I normal now? Is this better? Will you love me now? - it never worked. Being normal wasn't in his nature. Soon enough, he found himself envying the people around him. Why could they be so open and not judged? Why was he so different? In the end he blended into the crowd, became the outsider, a freak in his own right. Alone.
Then he saw him.
Yagami Light.
On orientation day of Junior High, Kai saw a wolf in sheep's clothing.
The way he smiled, talked, complimented and laughed. It was all so fake. Fake fake FAKE. The mask the child wore was covered in perfection; there were no cracks or weak points. It was a mask Kai wasn't able to make.
He wanted to break it.
._._._.
He pretends to not notice the bruises next morning at breakfast. Pretends to not notice broken glass in the bin, how there is one lamp in the room instead of two.
"How's Tou-san?" He asks calmly as he ate his rice.
It was suddenly very quiet.
Kaa-san's eyes fly to his. Her body coiled and unmoving, resembling a cornered animal. He loved it.
"You…" She whispers, eyes showing a rush of understanding. "You told him about my job…"
"Hmm, maybe," Kai says softly, head tilted in mock concentration. "Who knows?"
Tears leaked in her ugly bruised eyes. "Why?" She chokes, as though the action pained her. 'It might have,' Kai thinks, 'who knows what Tou-san did to her.' She looked beaten and withered, as though she had come back from a war. "Why would you do that? You know how he is! He could have ki – " She lets out another terrible whimper, shoulders trembling as she remembered last night. His anger, his shouting, the accusations. Her mouth rambles, unintelligible words pouring into the room as Kai continues to eat.
After a minute, his fingers twitch around the chopsticks.
Her whining was quickly getting on Kai's nerves.
"I know exactly what he's like, dear Kaa-san," he interrupts with an icy stare. "Or have you forgotten how he punished me as a child, how you stood to the side and did nothing!" Slamming his fists on the table, Kai shoots up from his seat. Eyes burning the woman opposite him. "Maybe I did call Tou-san one evening to tell him about your escorting job, or maybe I didn't. But you have to ask yourself this, my dear Kaa-san." He leans forwards on his hands, towering over her with a vicious smile. And Kai purrs: "What are you planning to do tonight when he comes back?" When her skin turns a satisfying white, Kai pushes away and loops his backpack over a shoulder, walking out.
Hopefully the rest of the day won't be as irritating.
._._._.
He watches Yagami for weeks. He couldn't stop himself. The more he observed the more he found himself interested in the other boy. That perfect smile and attitude, it both aggravated and fascinated Kai.
He watches, and waits. Waiting for the boy to slip up, to prove that he wasn't perfect. That was just as broken and irretrievably twisted as he was.
He follows him everywhere. He knows where he goes, what he does, who he talks to, what he eats, his allergies...he wanted to know what made the Yagami Light tick. He wanted to know if he was like himself.
It was when he witnessed Yagami Light butcher a stray dog, that Kai knew for sure…
He wasn't alone.
._._._.
Before Kai could even press the doorbell the door is ripped open. Startled, Kai jumps back as he's hit with the weight of a child. He stumbles a bit and looks down to see Sayu.
"Maa, Sayu-chan~" He moans, trying to peel her off by the shoulders. It was when he hears something resembling a sob that Kai pauses.
He stares at her, amazed at his misfortune. First Kaa-san and now Sayu. Why was everyone crying today?
Quickly, Kai pulls on his happy smile. For some reason, seeing children upset unsettled him. Maybe it was their unfathomable innocence or their genuine personality. That they believe everyone is good, even the monsters.
"Hey, now, what's wrong? Did Light refuse to do your math homework again?" This gets him a chocked laugh out of her.
"Otou-san got a call today from the Police station saying that man got released from prison last night! And when you didn't arrive here on time we all thought something – that he might have - " Her voice cracks and tears well up in her eyes. Kai mentally curses, fluttering his hands awkwardly around the child.
"Sayu! Behave yourself."
Kai looks up to see Yagami Sachiko rushing over, a worried look glazed over in her eyes as she stares at him. For a terrified second he thinks she's about to hug him as well, but she just stands there in the doorway. Gaze pinning him to the spot. Taking him in.
It takes a moment for him to realize she's checking for any injuries.
"Morning, Okaa-san." He says the same time Sayu cries out, "But Okaa-san ~ that man's back and Kai-nii is – "
"Enough, Sayu." The woman shushes her quickly, and with the ease of somebody who's done it a thousand times, peels Sayu from Kai's body like she was a misbehaving kitten. "We're not going to talk about that man any more. Think about how Kaito-kun must be feeling right now."
Sayu's eyes bug. "Oh."
"Aah," Kai pats the guilty looking girl on the head. "I'm fine. Sayu-chan was just concerned. Knowing she was was worried about me makes me all warm and tingly inside." To prove his point he indulgently hugs Sayu, sending his best smile to Sachiko. He's gotten better at displaying physical affection since he's met Light.
It seems he was convincing enough as the woman presses her lips into a thin line, trying to hide her amusement at seeing an indignantly squealing Sayu.
"Oi! Why are you hugging me?! I'm the one that should be hugging you. You're the sad one!"
"Maa, who says I'm sad?"
"I can see it! I know these things Kai-kun – Gah! Stop hugging me!"
After letting Sayu struggle some more, Kai releases her and makes sure to laugh at the disgruntled expression.
"Well, Sayu I hope you're feeling better." Sachiko tells the huffing girl. "And Kaito-kun, have you eaten? Light will be down in a short second if you'd like to wait in the kitchen."
Translation: he doesn't have any choice in the matter.
The woman eyes him like a Military General until he says, "aah, I already had breakfast with Kaa-san but since it's cold out it'd be nice to sit in a cozy room for a while. Thank you."
Sachiko puffs up. "Nonsense." Waving him inside, Kai slips his shoes off at the doorway and steps into the slippers the Yagami's keep for him.
Once at the table, Sachiko pours him some tea which Kai gratefully accepts. Blowing on the tea, Kai mindfully ignores their burning stares. 'Honestly,' he thinks, 'I feel like I'm about to be interrogated for a crime I didn't commit.'
"Why's Light taking so long?" Kai finally asks, "I'm late and he's still not ready."
Sayu lets out an obnoxiously loud groan. "He stayed up late last night studying. Again."
"That boy." Sachiko mutters with a fond smile. "Always working hard." Her head suddenly snaps to Sayu with an accusing stare. "You should take a note or two from your Nii-chan. Always sitting in front of the television watching that drama of yours with that awful Idol actor."
Sayu looks as though she had been slapped, "a-awful…?" Like a light was switched her expression turns murderous. Kai leans back and happily sipped his tea as the two playfully argued. All topics of his Tou-san gone from the table.
A minute or two pass before Kai hears footsteps enter the room.
Light sighs. "Are you two arguing about that Ryūga guy again?" Kai's ears perk up.
"Again?"
Light flops down in the seat next to him and snatches his tea. Taking a long sip before answering, "They've been at it since that damned drama started."
"When was that?"
"Three weeks ago." Kai notices the pained tone and flashes a charming smile. "You take pleasure in my pain don't you?"
"Immensely." Light snorts and finishes off Kai's tea. "We'll be off now, Okaa-san."
"You boys better stay warm now. I heard on the radio this morning that today will be a cold one."
"Hai."
._._._.
Kai watches Light - he's always watching Light - stares at the deceased dog in the alleyway, hands tainted red. He smirks and strolls out of his hiding place.
He's gotten what he needed.
"Aah," he sighs, startling Light from his crouched position. "You cut too deeply, blood's getting everywhere. I think I have some tissues in my backpack if you want to clean up?" Heading over to Light who was now quickly getting up, Kai reaches into his backpack and fumbles around for the packet of tissues.
"Wha – you…What are you doing here?" Light asks nervously, stumbling upright on his feet and looking around to check if anyone else was around. No point, it was just the two of them.
Kai had made sure of that.
Kai ignores him and cries in delight as he finds the packet. Ripping it open and handing Light a tissue. Hesitantly, the boy accepts it and wipes his hands. They were still red.
Blood doesn't clean so easily, Kai knows from experience.
"I didn't hurt it." Light insists. Tone filled with perfected sadness. How many times has Light practiced in the mirror? "It was like that when I found it."
"No need to lie, Light-kun~" Kai hums and jerks his head towards the dissected body of the dog. "I saw you do it." Slowly, Light turns to face him, and stills when their eyes meet. Soft brown meeting icy black. Different in colour but the same, somehow. It was unnerving. "I understand perfectly."
Light looks suspicious. "You do?"
"I can't help myself either." He smiles, it was a creepy little thing. All twisted and out of place. As though someone had carved it into his face. "We're the same, you and I." He leans in, "I've been watching you for some time and – "
"Wait," Light interrupts coolly, "you're my stalker?"
Kai hisses. Rearing back and bobbing on his heels.
"Stalking is such a strong word, don't you think?" Light stared. "Okay, so, yes I've been stalking you and I'm not convinced of your act. Not one bit."
The boy glares, mask dropping entirely. "Tell me then Stalker-san, why not?"
"Ooh~" Kai chuckles. "Not appreciating you've been found out, are you? Then, Light-kun~, you're not going to like what I have to say next," Light's eyes narrow. "I knew you weren't normal the day I saw you. I knew you were a monster like I am."
He knew it was coming the moment he spoke. Light pounces on him, hands wrapped around his neck and he pushes him against the alley wall. There's a tiny bit of pressure on his throat, not enough to kill or bruise, but enough to make him gag.
Kai laughs.
"I'm not a monster." Light growls. Feral.
Still laughing, Kai says, "oh but you are, Light-kun. If you weren't, you wouldn't have killed the dog." Among other things.
Light flashes him a textbook smile. "I told you, I found it like that."
"Aah, there you go again. Slipping up. You called the dog an 'it'. Normal people don't call dead animals an 'it', Light-kun~ They have empathy. Remember that next time you get curious about how an animal looks like on the inside and decide to play operation." Light jerks back, scowling at his mistakes being pointed out so clearly.
Kai, breathes, examining him closely. Stained hands, messy hair and furious eyes….he looked gorgeous. Kai loved it. He broke the fascade.
He's one step closer to ruining him.
"Fine!" Light throws his hands up. "I killed the stupid dog. But if you dare tell anyone I'll – "
"Oh trust me." Kai snickers at the implication. "I won't tell. As long as you won't tell on me, of course." He strides forward, shoving the tissue packet into Light's hands.
There's a pause of silence, and Kai could feel Light examining him like a scientist with a new specimen.
"Like me, eh?" The boy mutters, as though the thought were foreign. Never considered.
"Like you." Kai nods.
Another pause, and Light's shoulders relax.
"What's your name then, Stalker-san?"
Kai gives him his own textbook smile. A smile that should never be seen on a child.
"Hase Kaito. But you can call me, Kai."
._._._.
When they begin the trek to school, Light asks a question Kai knew he was aching to ask.
"Your Tou-san came last night didn't he? Like you expected he would."
Kai smiles big, crooked and all teeth. Light didn't like it when he wore the social mask they have both gotten accustomed to wearing.
"Maa, you're not wrong."
Light gives him a look. "Going by your reaction something good must have happened."
"Well, Karma is a bitch."
"...is your Kaa-san still breathing?"
"Last I checked."
"Shame."
"Aah."
._._._.
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