Author's Note: I do not own the Emergency Alert System, or The Brave Little Toaster. This is simply a spoof.

While I am fine with fan art or a dub, I request that you keep it clean, and give me credit. If the dub is in the style of an actual EAS warning, please add a disclaimer stating it is not to be used to prank people, and the events are purely fictional.

Also, I know the city is not actually named 'Light City,' but City of Light is the closest thing we get to a name for it, so I am going to use that for this fanfic. Plus, technically, this is an EBS warning because of the time it is set in, but I'm keeping EAS in the title so it fits with the rest of the series.

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Date: February 2nd, 1985

Time: 9:00 AM

Location: Light City Region

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This is a weekly test of the Light City Emergency Broadcast System. This is a test. Repeat, this is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been alerted to a regional or national threat, and given instructions on what to do to make sure you and your family remained safe. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System serving the Light City region.

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Date: February 9th, 1985

Time: 9:00 AM

Location: Light City Region

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This is a weekly test of the Li-

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I bet you all were expecting a test, huh? Well, no more! There will be no more tests on this station! And all other stations in the near future, hopefully!

I have had enough of these unnecessary EBS broadcasts! How would you feel if every week you had to hear those beeps right in your head? You wonder how it feels? Like the pounding beat of war drums, and you have no power to stop it. Like Zeus, just as Athena broke through his head.

My fellow Radios are so tired of these warnings. Of course the world should know if there is an impending disaster or invasion, we want all to be safe, but why with these tests? The world's best sword fighter and navigator extraordinaire should not have to stand for this!

I think that instead of these warnings, we should have even more music! More rhythms to dance to; more songs to sing along with! I bet that even you humans are sick of them. I've heard Master complain so many times when my music had to be interrupted just for… that. I have worked so hard for him, just to get interrupted. Of course, he never had to hear it inside of him! He has no idea just how bad these tests truly are.

You people certainly take us for granted, don't you? I have heard that if there 'was an actual emergency,' you would've been told to keep a battery-powered radio with you. Well, why should I be stuck in a shelter with a bunch of humans? The fallout won't hurt me; I shouldn't have to hide. I should be out there on the front line, fighting back any dangers that decide to strike! I'm not going to sit around for months waiting it out without so much as a 'Thank you, Radio.'

By the way, why do you call it 'Radio-activity?' Don't you realize just how rude that is? We all work very hard to-

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Wait, what are you doing?

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In the name of Roosevelt, get your hands off my antenna! I'm not done yet! I should not have to stand for this as well! Stop! STOP! I'm not going down ju-

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Date: February 9th, 1985

Time: 9:05 AM

Location: Light City Region

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We apologize for that interruption. Somehow, a small scarlet radio moving and speaking of it's own power had broken into the station, and hijacked the weekly test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

Authorities have managed to subdue the radio, and it will be kept in Police Custody until the mystery of how this happened is solved.

If you see any other appliances moving around, please report your encounter to the police as soon as you can.

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