Nick and Jess entered the apartment laughing and loaded down with groceries.
"You gotta admit, Day, he was hot," Nick said, plopping a bag down on the island in the kitchen.
Jess made a face. "You want me to pass him a note in class and see if he wants a date with you, Nick?" she asked in one of her favorite silly voices.
Nick pulled a six-pack of beer out of a bag. "I just want to know if you'll be keeping him after class," he said, trying to keep his tone light, though it rankled him that she did not deny her new student was hot.
The image of Jess laughing with her very tall, very blonde, new adult learner kept running through Nick's mind. He had gone to pick up Jess after class, and there she was with Andrew, a guy who could only be described as the anti-Nick. He was all smiles and good posture, and all that Nick hated in everyone but Jess. She made it endearing.
He heard her talk to the anti-Nick in a voice he swore she reserved just for him. But big, beautiful Andrew was getting that now. As soon as the guy left, Nick had started in right away, joking with her about his god-like stature.
Nick and Jess had only been dating a couple of months. It was going great, and great was not Nick's thing. He kept waiting for everything to implode.
Jess put the milk in the fridge and turned to Nick with a slow smile. "I know what you are trying to do, Miller, and it won't work," she said. She leaped over to him, her small, colorful skirt dancing around her stocking-clad legs.
Nick threw up his hands in front of him and shrugged. "I don't know what you are talking about," he laughed with a levity he did not feel.
"THIS is about make-up sex," she declared, pointing her finger at Nick's chest.
"Whaaaaaaat?" Nick gave her his most inscrutable look. "Jess, what are you talking about?"
"This!" she gestured between them. "Admit it, Nick. You have been picking fights with me all week because you know that we have amazing make-up sex!"
Jess smiled triumphantly in the face of Nick's blank stare. Make up sex? he thought. He hadn't even been thinking about sex. But, of course, NOW he was. A smile crept across his lips. Jess moved in closer and gave him an over-the-top pout.
"I thinks you wants you some Jess," she drawled. The pout transformed into one of her magnificent smiles that took Nick's breath away. He hoped that smile was one that was just for him. When she looked at him like that, with so much emotion he could not name, it cut right to the heart of him. Nick could swear it felt like he was standing on a cliff, slipping toward some huge chasm. Part of him always wondered what it would be like to fall, while another part – the very Nick part – wanted to flee. That smile of hers slammed into him every time, cracking the imaginary shield he gripped. He blinked. If he lost that shield, there would be nothing to save him from the pain if she left. No wait, WHEN she left. It was bound to happen. Left him, maybe for a guy like Andrew.
He stepped back instinctively. "Hey, I just want you to admit you think Andrew is hot. I mean, come on, Jess. He's hooooot." He shrugged as Jess rolled her eyes.
"Geesh, Nick. You think I'm going to cheat on you with Mr. Floppy Hair? Seriously, he uses more hair product than Schmidt!"
Nick wanted to laugh it off, but it was there – that image of her with the anti-Nick. It felt real, especially the hole she would leave when she was gone. He retreated behind his shield of cynicism and surliness.
"Why not?" he asked quietly. "You cheated on Sam."
Jess blanched as though he had slapped her. Now she stepped back. "But I…that was you…I didn't," she stammered. The look of confused pain on her face jabbed Nick in the gut. He knew he had gone too far. He was the one who had kissed Jess with Sam only a few feet away in her bedroom. He was the one who had pulled her into his arms that night. He opened his mouth to take it back, but Jess had already turned and ran. Nick cringed as she slammed her door.
"Why, Miller?" he chided himself. Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head onto the counter. "Why can't you just be happy?"