an: it is late, i am falling asleep. craziness ensues with this. it'll be posted when i'm awake so i can reread it tho! there's a line: because she doesn't know how to love anything, that is pretty much from skins. i just kind of twisted the words. timeline is off.
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i. we carve our names into each others hearts without even realising it.
Twinkling lights hang above them, casting a soft glow on Alison and Emily who are lying in Emily's bed, curled up underneath blankets and blankets. Alison is telling a story, a wonderful one (they're all wonderful, though) about a boy who's older and a little wiser and might just be in love with her. Emily isn't listening, her mind wondering to places like what would it be like to kiss Alison again? The memories still haunting her, day and night, night and day of their lips pressed together.
Emily drifts off to sleep first, into a paradise where Alison loves her back and her love for Alison wasn't a secret anymore. Everyone knew, including Alison. The blonde is soon to follow, shaking her head as she brushes Emily's hair softly. Presses a kiss to her forehead, you'll always be my favourite one, she'll whisper before everything turns dark and her mind is crowded of images of an older boy dotting upon her.
Hands end up intertwined, small smiles lifting upwards on their faces as they doze off into a peaceful state of sleep. Alison is the last to fall asleep, but she's the first to wake up. Traipsing carelessly across the room, but quietly of course. Fingers tracing over school books, picking up a photo frame of just the two of them, grinning up at the camera like idiots. There's another picture, one of all five girls. One she thinks they all have, she smiles sadly at it. She thinks she might love them, and that sort of scares her.
Because she doesn't know how to love anything.
Emily awakes soon after, rubbing her eyes as she sits up in the bed. Hair messy, face tired and she looks horrible. Alison lets out a laugh, settling herself down on a stool as she watches Emily wake up. Yawn, stretch a little, fall back to the bed, close eyes, reopen eyes, push covers off and stand up. Emily pokes her tongue out at Alison as the blonde laughs at her antics, a harsh insult rolling off of her tongue sending Emily back into a dark deep pit of despair where she realises that she's nothing to Alison. It takes a minute to forgive her after Alison showers her with compliments that the blonde doesn't even register she's saying.
The day is spent inside, chocolates being shared between the two of them. They're sans valentine's this year, which is quite a surprise. Alison has one, but he's a secret. She's not ready to share him with the world just let, later on they'll eat pie and beer and he'll go over her writing and she'll kiss him and he'll tell her she's too young but will kiss her back anyway. Ben is away for the weekend, off at his Grandma's or something and claims he doesn't wanna do it this year. Gone are the teddy bears that are twice her size, and chocolates and roses.
"To each other!" Alison proposes, pecking the brunette's cheek when she's not looking. Brushing her hand against Emily's as she leans in for a hug, it's the closest they'll ever get to anything. It's mean, she's teasing Em. Dangling something she can never have in front of her, but she can't stop. Their heads throw back with laughs, memories being passed between each other. An old photo album is dragged out, filled with photos from the years they've known each other.
Alison sweeps another chocolate in her mouth, falling on her back. Staring up at the roof, eyes filled with stars and her heart filled with happiness. The kind she hasn't felt in a long time. Emily wasn't listening to the tales of her mystery boy last night, but she knows that she's dreaming of him. She wonders if he goes to the same school as them. She wonders a lot of things about Alison, she doesn't know a lot about her.
"Ali!" Emily whines, flopping down beside her. Alison giggles, whacking Emily away from her. They fall into a peaceful silence, a totally comfortable silence. And all Emily wants to do is kiss her again, to taste strawberry lip gloss and be lifted up into the clouds again. Another chocolate is plucked, and placed in Emily's mouth. The day dies down, and Alison is soon making excuses to leave. The sun outside turning slightly darker, colder.
Emily lets her go, a final hug. Arms wrapped around her tightly, head buried in blonde curls. Alison wants to pull away, to escape from the trap that Emily has ensnared her in without either of them realising it. It's Emily's name carved in her heart, and it's her name carved in hers. They can't have that, it'll only end up in heartbreak.
"Bye Ems," Alison whispers before leaving. A final chocolate being pushed in her mouth before she's off to find her mystery man and listen to him come up with stupid verbs and adjectives and whatever. Suddenly she's not sure if she wants to see him anymore.
But she does anyway.
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ii. you were dead, and now you're alive and i've changed - we both have.
Alison DiLaurentis has risen from the dead, or she was never really dead to begin with. Emily hates her at first, and then she loves her, then she hates her some more, then loves her some more. Her feelings are confusing, are conflicted and Paige is left upset with Emily being unable to make up her mind. Unable to stop harbouring unrequited love for Ali.
"She tormented me!" Paige screams. A fight between the two lovers for all the neighbours to hear, both of them sobbing as they sit across from each other. Paige declaring this as the end, Emily sobbing right into the night. Why did she have to love Ali? She doesn't love her back and all she gets is a lifetime of misery for falling for a girl she should of known better to fall for.
"We were each others first loves," Alison whispers quietly, from the door frame. There's a faint trace of tears in her eye, memories of all the hurt she had caused Emily (and all the girls) haunting her. It's very rare she'll admit she was wrong, to anyone, including herself but she is a terrible person. Isn't she? She lied, and she hurt, and she ran and she faked her death.
"You're not a terrible person, Ali." Emily's voice snaps her out of it, curious eyes peering down at Emily. How did she know? Emily shrugs, a wicked grin forming on her lips as she looks out the window. At Paige disappearing for good, it was for the best. The girl did try and drown her after all, but instead she wants to curl up and cry. To forget that she's still in love with a girl who'll never love her back - wait, she said we were each others first loves. Emily looks back up at Alison, eyes wide as she tries to find a way to form the question playing on her mind.
But Alison is gone as quick as she came, a wind of blonde hair and blue eyes raising more questions than giving more answers. Leaving Emily more heartbroken than she was before.
Emily doesn't know who to fight for anymore, so she decides she should just fight for herself instead. Who cares about Paige and Alison, anyway? Who cares because they'll never stay and they'll never love her completely. Maybe Paige would, but that girl is never coming back. Everything is different now, everything is a mess, everything is in shambles.
So she decides to stay at Hanna's instead. But Alison is there when she gets there, and Hanna is no where to be found. Although, she can hear the shower running.
"Please don't leave," Alison whispers. Emily realises it's the first time she's seen her vulnerable, lip quivering and eyes sad. It makes her feel important, makes her feel loved, that she gets to see this side of Ali. Without thinking she shakes her head, no, and sits down next to Alison on the bed. They don't make eye contact but their fingers weave together, and similar smiles seem to take over their face.
A little note is pressed into Emily's hand, she picks it up gently. Looking at Alison curiously, who only shyly looks away. A first, that Emily's ever seen. She reads the words all while smiling, pretty cursive that she's missed: Be my valentine? The answer is a yes.
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an: i wrote this on valentine's day (night) and was gonna post it yesterday as said in my first an but i was at a friends last night so i didn't have time. kind of out of character, short and rushed. oops.