WARNING: Major angst ahead! This is set after Caleb and Spencer break up, but none of the other stuff that happened in tonight's episode is relevant for this. Enjoy.

The Letters
(or Razors & Lace)

It's about 9am when Emily realises that something is wrong. She's been dialing Spencer's number for a least a half an hour with no answer, she's knows that's a bad sign. Spencer always answers her phone. With everything going on Emily imagines the worst, so she decides she needs to go find Spencer just to be sure things are alright (somehow she already knows they're not).

She gets into her car and turns the key, but before she pulls out of the driveway she spots something sticking out of her glove box. Leaning over she pulls out a folded piece of paper, she unfolds it and reads.

Dear Emily,

No matter what happens, I never want you to forget what really matters in life. Love her. Take care of her. And let her love you, the way I know she can. Be happy, be loved. Goodbye Em.

Forever yours,

S

It takes less that 3-seconds for Emily to turn into a sobbing mess. She's lost so much already, now she's lost Spencer too.

When Ali finally drags herself out of bed at 10am she hears her phone beeping and realises she has several missed calls from Emily, she picks up her phone to dial the number, but stops in her tracks when she sees the folded piece of paper on her nightstand.

She picks it up and unfolds it.

Dear Ali,

I'm sorry for everything, for not trusting you when it mattered most. I can never make it up to you, but I know there is someone out there who can. Don't let the past, or your own fear stand in the way. Love her Ali, and most of all let her love you.

Goodbye,

S

Ali lets out a deep sigh, her heart hurts, she hates that Spencer is gone, but she can't say she's surprised. When she reads the letter through again she realises that the best way to remember Spencer is to take her advice. She gets up and gets dressed quickly before heading to Emily's house.

Hanna's sitting in the brew, looking over her business plans when her phone rings. She picks it up on the first ring.

"Em? Is everything okay?"

Hanna can tell instantly that it's not.

"Em?"

"She's gone Hanna. She's gone."

Hanna feels her heart hammering in her chest.

"Who's gone? What's going on? I'm coming over there"

Hanna stands up and shoves her planner into her bag, and digs for her keys, Emily is still crying into the phone. Suddenly her hand closes on a folded piece of paper she doesn't remember putting there.

She unfolds it and reads the words just as Emily cries out "Spencer. She's gone"

Dear Hanna,

I'm sorry for everything, but you're so strong, I know you'll be okay.

Yours always,

S

Hanna stares open mouthed at the paper, she doesn't even realise that she hung up on a still crying Emily.

Ezra is flipping through the pages of their novel manuscript when he notices something odd, he doesn't remember putting that piece of paper there. He flips to the page that's marked, Aria's name is on the front of the paper but behind it one phrase is highlighted. Love her with all of your heart. Next to it is a tiny letter S.

When he hands the letter to Aria she unfolds it with trembling fingers and reads out-loud.

Dear Aria

You are the hardest one to leave behind. But you are always in my heart. I love you so much. Please be happy and be safe. Remember me and I will always be with you.

PS… Ezra, I may be gone but I will find a way to kick your ass if you hurt heri.

All my love,

S

Aria feels herself collapse, but right before she hits the floor Ezra reaches for her. He hits the floor on his knees as he gathers a sobbing Aria up in his arms. Her cries of "She's gone, she's gone" pierce though his heart.

Toby finds a note tucked in his desk as he's looking for some paperwork. He unfolds the paper and reads it.

Dear Toby,

All I've ever wanted was for you to be safe, and happy. I hope Yvonne gives that to you. You deserve everything in the world, every bit of happiness that life can offer. And as selfish as it is, I hope I will always hold a small piece of your heart, because you still hold a piece of mine. Don't look for me, and don't let them. I am gone. I choose this.

Love always,

S

After he finishes reading her note he slams his fist through his office wall, tears blurring his vision.

Caleb gets Aria's call first. It's unusual for her to call so he picks up despite the fact that he's driving. He's never heard her so furious and upset. The second she tells him Spencer's gone he slams on his breaks in the middle of the highway. He can't believe it.

The car behind him has to swerve to miss him. They honk and scream profanities out the window as they rush by him. He just sits there unmoving.

It only takes him 10 minutes to get back into Rosewood. He pulls up outside of Spencer's house, and immediately notices that her car is gone.

Just as he's about to get out of the car his phone rings again. Hanna this time. He lets it go to voicemail, he already knows what she's going to say, but he has to see for himself.

He walks up to the barn door and knocks, no answer. He tries the door, it's unlocked. His heart drops.

Stepping into the living room he's hit with a sense of nausea he only later realises its due to the heavy scent of blood that lingers in the air.

With slow steps he approaches the bedroom his heart aching, his eyes stinging.

He pushes the door open and his eyes immediately land on some scrapes of navy blue lace on the floor. He walks over and picks them up, he recognizes it, even in tatters, he'll never be able to forget. As he shuffles them in his hands something small and silver falls to the floor. His heart sinks a little more. Bending down he picks up his old razor, the one he'd kept in her bathroom, their bathroom, the blades and handle are covered in dried blood.

He looks away from the razor, but instead of getting away from the mess, he sees more. Drops of blood on the carpet, a trail really, leading into the bathroom. His heart is breaking, but he has to see everything, he has to. Taking a deep breath he stands up and walks towards the bathroom.

The sight that meets him churns his stomach. Blood on the sink, smeared on the mirror, dried drops staining the tile.

Caleb thinks he might be sick. He lets the razor and the lace fall to the floor.

He leans against the wall for support, tears starting to leak from his eyes.

As he reaches up to swipe them away he catches a glimpse of something on the bed.

On trembling legs he walks over to the bed and picks up a folded letter and the picture frame it's sitting on. He stares into his own face, which is gazing at Spencer like she's the only thing in the world. His eyes in the picture say it all, he loves this girl. But he's too late, she's gone, and it's his fault.

He sets it down gently and unfolds the paper with shaking hands.

Dear Caleb,

You showed me what it was like to be in love again.

You showed me what it was like to be broken by love again.

I will always love you, even if you never loved me.

I will always remember, but perhaps it's best if you forget.

Goodbye, forever.

S

I have written a prequel to this, I will post it sometime this week, it is Spencer's perspective before everyone finds their letters. Thanks for reading.