A/N: Hello everyone! This is another birthday fic for SuicideMonday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUICIDEMONDAY!! She writes Russia/China, too. *hinthint* Go check out her stuff and write happy birthday in her reviews! =D Now, have fun reading and review if you feel like it, I love feedback!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers. All characters and the story belong to Hidekazu Himaruya (c). The countries... well, I assume they belong to themselves. Actually- no. All countries belong to Ivan Braginski AKA Russia! (sorry, sorry Russia-sama, don't hit me with that pipe, Russia-sama!!)
Scribbles on the Wall
„…Yao?"
The child-like voice bounced off the white-tiled walls, startling China into dropping the soap he had been using to wash his hands. This could not be happening.
Darting down to grab the soap, Yao placed it next to the sink again as nonchalantly as possible. In the mirror, the tall figure of Russia was visible by the door. China slowly turned, blushing furiously.
"This isn't what it looks like...", he started, feeling caught and horribly, horribly embarrassed.
"I don't know, Yao, but it seems quite clear to me", Ivan stated with a trace of his usual frightening amusement. "You are in the ladies' bathroom."
China buried his head in his hands, rubbing his cheeks to remove that stupid stupid blush. "I- look, Ivan, I don't usually do this-"
"I've seen you go in here after the last summit, too", Russia interrupted with a smile.
Yao gritted his teeth. Damn. "I can explain. It's just that... the gents' bathroom... it smells, don't you think? I simply- I simply can't stand going in there. And seeing as we don't have many women in our gatherings anyway, I... I guess I tend to use the ladies' instead."
Ivan's eyes were fixed on him with such an intense look that China felt like taking a step back, but his back was already touching the sink.
"You do have long hair... one could mistake you for a woman...", Ivan seemed to muse, tilting his head the side as he took in Yao's appearance.
"Excuse me?!" Yao's indignant anger made him disregard any possible danger to himself as he took a step forward. "Are you calling me effeminate?"
Russia's slow smile dampened Yao's anger and he felt fear settle in his mind, curling around his thoughts and sending a shiver down his spine.
"I might be..." Russia whispered, trailing violet eyes over China's face.
Flustered as he was, Yao could not even think of a comeback or of anything to defend his manly honour. He dared not break eye contact with the taller nation as Russia moved closer, making Yao retreat backward toward a stall.
He had nearly reached him and Yao's breath was becoming shallower with every second due to the oppressive stare he was receiving. He also couldn't help but glance furtively in the direction of the stall where he had written their names on one of the inner walls. If Russia turned his head just a little, he would see those little notes and drawings... he couldn't let that happen, he absolutely couldn't. Maybe if he distracted him? But Ivan smiled his slow, predatory smile, following his gaze.
"Yao has something to hide, da?" Abruptly, he turned to the left and entered the stall.
China's heart skipped a beat and in his mind, he was uttering a string of expletives. "No! Damn it, Ivan! Come back here! Don't go in there!"
A quiet, dark chuckle was heard. "Why ever not, dear Yao?
Yao strode forward with the bravery of the moment and adrenaline fuelling his actions. He threw open the door and grabbed hold of Russia's arm, tugging at him forcefully.
"Just. Come. Back. Out." He accentuated each word with a tug, which did not budge Russia an inch. His gaze was still fixed on the wall to the right.
Yao could have screamed in frustration. Ivan had seen the drawings! It was too late, too late, damn it damn it, damn it all!
A low chuckle drew his gaze to Russia again.
"You draw quite well... but I have to tell you that I am actually much taller than how you drew me, especially compared to you..."
China was blushing and just wanted to run away.
Ivan threw him a darkly amused look over his shoulder. "And I assure you, I would certainly not be giving you sunflowers..."
Yao had closed his eyes in denial.
"Oh! And a poem... just for me... Sitting here I wonder/Can he feel me yonder?/Will I ever take his hand and dare/If communism is all we share."
Echoing silence. The pounding of the blood in his ears was almost deafening.
This isn't happening. This cannot be happening. It's a bad dream, bad dream, bad dream-
"Hmm and what does it say here..." Russia seemed to thoroughly enjoy torturing him. "Russia x China: The Communist Couple..." A dark and unrestrained laugh echoed through the bathroom.
Yao wanted the tiled floor to open up and swallow him, to take him away from the embarrassment, that horrible, awkward feeling. His eyes were squeezed shut. Why, oh why did Russia have to come into the bathroom looking for him? He would probably kill him now... then and there, with that pipe of his...
Yao's eyes snapped open when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. Fearful brown eyes met gleaming violet.
"Sit", Russia ordered, gesturing to the closed toilet.
Trembling, Yao sat down, feeling even smaller compared to the towering nation in front of him. His eyes searched the powerful nation's face, but his features betrayed no anger.
Then, Russia did something that surprise Yao greatly. He crouched down in front of Yao. Their eyes were on the same level and Ivan glanced to the embarrassing scribbles momentarily before returning questioning eyes to Yao.
"The Communist Couple... You- You want me?"
Yao felt frozen with fear and attempted searching Ivan's eyes to gauge what he wanted to hear.
"Don't say what I want to hear. Speak your own mind." Ivan's gaze intensified. It looked as though Yao's next words would change something in him, something fundamental and basic in his fragile mind. Yao could almost feel Russia teetering at the edge between madness and sanity, the decision which he would embrace depending on China's answer.
Beads of cold sweat gathered on his forehead. This was it.
"Y-yes. I do, I mean, I do- want you, that is." Red stained his cheeks, as he watched Russia's expression with bated breath.
A sense of barely-tamed excitement surfaced in those amethyst eyes, a wondrous kind of hope slowly awakening.
"But... why? What have I done to..." Ivan seemed at a loss for words. Confusion was evident, but the hope shone through his otherwise emotionless exterior.
Yao felt something tug at his heart. The look in Russia's eyes made China want to console him, reassure him, bring a true smile to his face. It felt like he was taking a step off a high cliff, but Yao was prepared to fall.
"There are so many reasons, Ivan. I can't tell you all. But I- I have felt this way for many, many years. I love the way you smile when your army wins a battle against Germany. I love the way even your boss cringes away from your pipe. I love the way you smile when you see sunflowers. I love how you manage to draw everyone's attention with a mere word. I love how you make me smile when I'm lonely with one of your frightening comments about the demise of my enemies. Your weaknesses make me want to protect you from harm, and your strength... it makes me want to curl up in your arms to be protected by you in turn."
Yao cast down his eyes.
A hand squeezed his shoulder and Yao looked up to meet Ivan's eyes. They were so very close now.
"Do you truly feel that way?" Russia asked, something akin to fear tinting his voice.
Yao swallowed and forced his faltering voice to speak. "I meant every word I said."
Ivan shook his head. "I don't deserve your love, Yao. Go love someone else."
Russia stood abruptly, throwing Yao a last look, in which Yao saw shattered hopes and a broken mind.
It couldn't end this way. Yao stumbled to his feet and out of the stall, sprinted across the bathroom and tackled Russia's retreating figure from behind. His small body did not cause Ivan to fall over, but Russia did stop without turning.
Yao clung to Ivan's back, embracing the taller nation from behind, wrapping his arms around the man's middle and pressing himself close.
"Don't go..."
"Yao-"
"Don't go, I said!" Yao's voice sounded higher-pitched than usual, but he didn't care.
"This is for the best. Let me go. I don't want to hurt you." Russia sounded conflicted and pained. Yao could feel his right arm twitching around the pipe in his coat. Yao did not loosen his hold.
"Hurt me, then. Hurt me until you can hurt me no more and then have me, have all of me, I give it willingly."
The twitching stopped and Ivan no longer tried to free himself. He simply stood there, rooted to the spot.
"Yao... You would...?"
"Yes, Ivan, I know what I am agreeing to. If this is the only way- the only way you will have me, I will take it, take it all."
Russia hesitated. "You'd become one with me, just to be with me?"
Yao knew he was giving away his life, his very soul. "Yes."
Abruptly, Russia broke through the hold Yao had on him, whirling around to face the smaller nation.
His eyes were narrow and his voice fierce. "I will never allow that."
"What-? Ivan?"
"I don't want you to become one with me, because you'll disappear."
"Ivan, but-"
"No, Yao." Russia advanced, taking hold of Yao's shoulders. "No, I will have you and I will never relinquish you to anyone else. You will be mine, but not part of me. I do not and cannot love myself- but I can try loving you. But be warned. I have never loved and I don't know if I can."
China lifted his hand, placing it on top of Russia's. "I am willing to take that risk." Their eyes were locked and suddenly, an amused gleam entered Yao's. The right corner of his lip was twitching. "Now take me, Communist-"
"-What did you call me?"
Yao rolled his eyes, grabbed Ivan's coat by the front and yanked him closer, employing some of the strength that was purely China. In his eyes swirled thousands of years of loneliness and want and when their lips met, Russia could feel the warmth of Chinese summers entering him and beginning to melt his cold emotions.
Russia was responding, his arms lifting from his sides to hesitantly wrap around Yao's smaller body, feeling every curve, relishing in the knowledge that Yao was his, his, his alone. When his arms fully enveloped China, Ivan tightened his arms, eliciting a shiver and a quiet moan from the older nation.
A hesitant tongue briefly touched his parted lips and as if a signal had been given, fire seemed to race through his body, setting him pleasurably aflame. One second, they were standing in the entrance of the bathroom, and the next, Russia was pinning China against the wall next to the mirrors, assaulting his lips with a fervour previously unknown to him.
The only thing Russia could compare the feeling consuming him to, was to the exhilaration of war, of doing battle, of fighting and winning, of fighting and losing, but not caring. He felt a certain urgency, a drive to press harder against Yao, to become one being, even if only for a moment, to make Yao his, to claim him, to take all he had to give.
And Yao was responding fiercely. Russia hazily thought that he made a worthy opponent on a battlefield such as this.
At one point, China backed him against the opposite wall and Russia let himself be dominated just for a moment, before taking control from Yao again. It was a heated battle of delirious desires and Russia was very taken aback when suddenly, Yao stepped away from him.
Panting and with swollen lips, Yao gestured at his watch. "We're late! The summit has begun already!"
Russia smiled. "They wouldn't dare begin without us."
-888-
And, true to Russia's prediction, they did not, in fact, dare to begin. The other nations were waiting for them in the conference room.
France took in their slightly dishevelled appearance and gave them both a look, grinning. "Do you two have something going on?"
England choked.
China thought wildly that maybe he should have smoothed down his hair or maybe his lips looked too red...
Russia threw Yao a burning look of reassurance, before stepping around him, blocking China from France's view.
"Quiet, France." Ivan smiled his most innocent of smiles. "Yao and I were merely discussing... our new foreign policies."
Turning slightly to gauge Yao's reaction, Ivan saw beneath the seemingly serious exterior the glimmer of laughter in his eyes, a glimpse of happiness caused by and reserved for him.
For the first time, Russia felt as though he might belong in this conference room, with these nations and especially with the nation next to him. He strode forward, pulled out his chair and motioned to China to sit next to him.
"Um, Ivan, that's Latvia's seat..."
Latvia trembled and threw Lithuania and Estonia frightened, pleading looks.
Not sparing the Baltic nations another thought, Russia quite simply took Latvia's miniature flag and, reaching over, placed it on China's previous seat, grasping China's miniature flag diagonally opposite of his seat and setting it down next to his.
"Come."
Latvia was hurrying, no, escaping around the table, sitting down in China's spot, Lithuania and Estonia immediately moving to pat his hand and calm the frightened nation down.
"But..." Yao trailed off, helplessly motioning to Latvia and then to the empty seat next to Ivan.
Russia got up and pulled out the chair for him, meeting Yao's hesitant gaze with fierce, amethyst eyes.
"Do not worry. This seat was forever meant to be yours."
-888-
*squeal* What do you think?