This is meant to be humorous. I am a fan of both Gundam Wing and, especially, Sailor Moon. After reading this, you'll agree it's a good thing I don't own them. Well, please read and review! Flame me even! Enjoy.
Senseless
A girl in a very short skirt and high heels jumps out from behind a bush and strikes a pose before a giant mecha.
"On behalf of the Moon, I will vanquish you!" She makes a few odd hand gestures. Heero runs over to see what the baka is doing to his gundam. Four other girls run up behind their leader.
"I didn't think she knew that big a word," Sailor Mars says.
"I heard that! At least I can actually outrun a turtle unlike some other people. You're always the last to come!" A fight follows between Moon and Mars. Heero rolls his eyes and shoots his gun at no one in particular, but manages to take out one of Rei's heels. She yells in surprise and falls. Duo runs out now, wondering what's going on and thinking maybe he'll get to save Heero for once. Jupiter sees Duo first. She gets hearts in her eyes.
"He looks just like my old boyfriend!" She runs after Duo who turns tail and flees, hiding out in his gundam.
"This time I will succeed!" Jupiter yells and calls out her attack. Smoke fills the air and the Deathscythe falls forward, unmoving. Jupiter tears the door off and drags a terrified Duo out. They leave, never to be seen again, though Duo's cries for help are always there. Heero doesn't even glance in his direction. He decides to take out the odango blond first. There is that saying, "you always hurt the ones you love." He is just about to shoot when a rose cuts through the gun. Glaring now, Heero throws the thing behind him, it goes off. Some innocent bystander screams. Wait, make that a not-so-innocent bystander, it was a politician. Anyway, all the G-boys (except Duo, of course) come out to see if they get to kill someone and stop dead at the sight of four girls showing a lot of leg. However, seeing the destroyed gundam affects them more. Two seconds later, there are three additional gundams out.
Heero continues to stand and glare at Tuxedo Mask, who is sharpening his roses. Moon and Mars stop fighting to face the new threat. Fire doesn't affect gundams. Moon pretends she's at the arcade and uses them for tiara practice, but only manages to dent the tiara. Venus has one of the gundams in her love chain and is trying to pull it over, like an ant pulling down an elephant. Mercury begins to wish Jupiter would come back and short-circuit a few more gundams with her electricity. She busies herself making a computer virus. As for Quatra, Trowa, and the chauvinist-pig ninja boy, they just look around for a mecha to fight, not being used to fighting pedestrians, let a lone a bunch of girls. Mercury sends her virus out and takes down ninja boy. Seeing they're going to lose, Quatra opens his gundam.
"We shouldn't be fighting at all!" Everyone ceases battling to think awe, ain't he cute! Mercury looks at her computer, then to Quatra, and throws the thing behind her. She begins to count on her fingers.
"Hey wait! There are four of them and four of us!" She holds up her fingers triumphantly. All the girls get hearts in their eyes. The G-boys back up in fear.
"I get him!" Sailor Moon says, pointing to Heero.
"What about me…and Rini!" Tuxedo mask asks plaintively.
"Rini's a brat," Moon yells behind her as she dodges Heero's bullets and chases him down. She corners him like a cat to a mouse.
"But I'm a prince!" Tux whines after his not-so-beloved. Ralena pops up next to him.
"A Prince, um good. We will ensure peace by making political alliances through marriage. Guess what, I used to be queen of the world, we'll make a great couple!" She grabs him by the collar and they go.
In the meantime, Venus had hog-tied Trowa in her chain. Mercury had Quatra following her in a daze after a conversation that was way over his head. Moon had more trouble with Heero. She triped as she was going after him and he managed to reach his gundam. Heero blasted her with the heavy artillery. Moon was knocked into a tree. She's a little crispy, but gets up.
"That hurt!!! Waaahhhhhh!!!" Her wail goes off the decibel system and cracks Heero's gundam– and the earth, which brakes into five conveniental pieces. Relena takes Tux to an out-of-the-way colony where they build their own civilization and have trouble with all those dumb mechanical problems machines have. Moon takes Heero away. All the sailors take one piece to rule as their kingdom. They're the only ones who live happily ever after. Rini is never born…hhhmmmm…then again if she's not born…then EVERYONE lives happily ever after.
The End.