Once Upon a Joke

I hated fairy-tale meetings, they were the worst kind of meetings, it was practically high school – oh yeah, fairy-tale people had to go to school. The one rule I hated, like the meetings, I was classed as a freak, mainly because I appeared in the faerie kingdom with no story. That's right; I'm the no-story, no-class freak. My name's Jessamila, no last name, no one had last names in the faerie kingdom, rocks huh.

Anyway back to the reason I hated meetings, because I had the 'princesses' sitting right opposite me, they might seem nice in the stories, but trust me, those girls were horrible, they judged everyone who wasn't a princess or a prince. As soon as a princess found her Prince all the people that had helped her got pushed out the way. The seven dwarfs worked in a pub, Fairy-godmother was in jail for shoplifting for food, the step-sisters (they were actually really nice) were maids, the mermaids were all put in experiment labs, and etc, etc. Basically the 'little' people were pushed to the side.

Cinderella sat down across the brown wooden table from me, her blonde hair was in a high-pony tail and she was holding hands with 'Prince' Jeff, he wasn't really a prince and there wasn't really a ball, it was a school disco and Jeff's the team football captain. Cinder's was actually quite mean, she told the Grim Brothers her version of 'Cinderella', if her two step-sisters, Anastasia or Drusilla asked Cinder's the pass the salt or pass them a napkin she's tell the brothers that they were treating her like a slave. Fairy-godmother was flying by when she heard Cinder's whining about not having nothing to wear to the 'ball' –it was a disco! – And believed the rubbish she said about Annie and Dru – my two best friends! She didn't after, but then it was too late to reverse the spell.

"Jessa, still not got a story? Awww maybe no one was meant to love you," Snow White sneered in her sing-song voice.

Oh, Snow White, she was a living cow. Poor Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy and Grumpy –he wasn't actually grumpy he just saw through Snow's act – got evicted because Snow told everyone they sold drugs! They didn't, and when they asked her and her 'Prince' –again not a prince – Chip, she said no, she didn't want them cluttering up her house.

I opened my blue eyes and stared at the 'Princesses' and burst out laughing, I couldn't help it. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me.

"Jessa, calm down," Grandmother Willow whispered in hushed dramatic whispers at me – did I mention my legal guardian, Grandmother Willow, was a talking chipmunk?

The thing is the 'Princesses' were actually really pathetic, but that wasn't what I was laughing at, I had stayed up half the night watching 'The Ring' –which wasn't scary, but I was bored – and Snow White remained me of the girl, Samara. Snow starting touching her face thinking that I there was something on her face, when truth is told; it was her face I was laughing at. "Jessamila, get out of this meeting immediately!!!" The tall dude with a long white beard from the front said.

I stood up, pulled my fire-red hair out of its bun and smoothed down my black dress, and last of all pulled back on my trainers. Oh and pulled on my long, black leather jacket, which reached my ankles. I looked weird, the look I was always going for. I wasn't like the other non-princess girls, who kissed the princesses' feet, trying to be like them in everyway. I didn't see the point in kissing the feet of the people who mentally and physically kicked me. My hair fell into neat waves to my waist.

"Oh, Snow, watch 'The Ring' I think I found your long lost twin sister, she obviously got the looks in the family," I grinned, bittersweet, you either love me or you hate me. That was me, what you see is what you get.

"See ya' at home Grandma Will," I waved goodbye to my guardian and my friends.

"Don't get in trouble on the way home, Jessa." Grumpy warned, he was like a dad to me, I promised him and then I left the big building. Every single fairy tale creature was in that building, I had the whole town to my self. Wicked.

The first thing I did was run through the forest to my home, no I wasn't like Little Red Riding Hood – now fifteen year old rebel in an off-on relationship with the Big Bad Wolf, know commonly as bad – my best friend since nursery, now just called Red. I lived in the middle of the forest, right in the heart.

Grandmother Willow and I lived there, in a little yellow cottage, with talking flowers guarding the entrance. Covering our house was a giant tree, with a tree house sitting firmly in the middle. I didn't live in the cottage, not since the seven dwarfs had moved in, not enough room. So they helped me build a tree house, which I loved.

"Ola, Mother Rose," Mother Rose was the head of the flowers, the oldest one too. "Roses, Tulips, Daisy's, Sunflowers, Lily's, are you having a good sunbath?" I grinned sweetly, I loved the flowers, and they were wonderful.

"Yes, we are, Jessamila," Mother Rose was the only one who called me by my full name, no matter how many times I told her in was Jessa, apparently she wanted to call me by the name the faeries had chosen for me. "Now what have you done this time to get sent out of a meeting? I know for a fact the meeting isn't over yet, the sun is still firmly in the middle and the sunflowers haven't turned their heads yet." She sighed; she'd told me more than enough times that I shouldn't be so, rude or attitude-y as she put it.

"Snow White reminded me of this girl from a scary movie I saw last night, I'd think you'd like it, it's called the Ring. And when I saw her, I couldn't stop laughing. Sorry, Mother Rose." I shrugged. I had to say sorry, she thought she had control over me like the flowers, when she didn't. But I didn't want to be the one to crush her high and mighty flower dreams. I was a typical teenager, yes, evil, no.

"Well, don't do it again. And please stop getting into to trouble, Jessamila, its embarrassing hearing about all these successful teenagers, and you wasting your life away being…like you are." Mother Rose witted on.

By that time I had climbed up my tree and was packing my green bag, in it I placed, a book, a camera, lunch, a drink and a bottle of black nail vanish. I tied my hair up in a black ribbon –yeah, we actually did that – and walked over to my wardrobe.

I pulled out black skinny jeans, a green top and green dolly shoes. Once I got changed I pulled my hair out of its ribbon and brushed it into place, they pushing it back with a black hair band. I slung on my leather jacket and pulled my bag on my back. With a small jump I landed on the ground cat style, landing on my feet.

"Did you hear me, Jessamila, no trouble," Mother Rose warned, trying to be scary.

"Sure, Mother Rose, no trouble." I muttered before walking into the woods. After a ten minute I found my self under the tree Grandmother Willow had found me.

Truth is once your born the Faerie Kingdom decide your story, your parents choose your name. My parents named me, and placed me under a tree. With a letter in my basket, telling anyone who found me what my name was and when my birthday was. Luckily, Grandmother Willow found me before I died of frostbite. My parents abounded me, and even though I pretend not to care, deep inside I did. That's why every time I could came back to this tree and sat down and told it what I did, as if it was link to my parents.

"Hey," I whispered softly, "I got in trouble again, nothing big just commenting on Snow's face. Ya' know the usual. Did you have a good day; oh Mother Rose wants me to be goody-good-shoes. Ha, like that will be the day. I'm Satan's daughter, that's why you abounded me, well, that's what everyone says. Grandmother Willow tells me too ignore them, but it gets hard sometimes." I whispered under my breath. I knew that I was insane talking to a tree.

"Yeah, it must get hard." I male voice called back to me. "I can make it better though." Suddenly something grabbed my arm. There was a flash of light. And then darkness…