Cruel Angel Thesis
warnings: implied slash, possible OOCness (because of the alternate viewpoint) spoilers (for 24; then again if you know who Kaworu is I imagine you know what happens in 24), random use of Japanese quotes (but I translated it just for you :D ((seriously, it was in kanji on my computer)))
description: An alternate view on Kaworu's motives for dying (the idea of death motives always makes me laugh). Drabble-ish, one-shot, Kaworu POV (somehow in 3rd person). Um... unlike me, it's generally serious.
disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, nor do I claim to understand it XD; And I'm not making any profit off this, or I would be a lot happier (since I just spent my last 20 bucks on CoM; )
author's note: I'm a huge Kaworu/Shinji fan (puts on flame retardant), and I always thought since I first watched ep. 24, there are two ways to look at Kaworu: The kindest of all the angels, or the most cunningly devious. I'd rather have liked to write a fic with a happy lovey Kaworu -laugh-, but I'm afraid happy romance is just not my genre... So here's my theory on the "cruelty" of the angel Kaworu... (blatent title reffing)
The heavy steel doors decompressed, and he floated, rather than walked, across the threshold. It didn't seem that he needed the floor's resistance to stand, and he did so lightly, airily, like an angel. Kaworu smiled. It begun as a devilish smirk, but in a second it was a heavenly grin, one couldn't even suspect that malice lay hidden just behind the blood-coloured irises.
Even if it was plain to see, Shinji would never have guessed. He was far too easy to fool, since he did most of the work himself. How convenient. If this unstable, clingy boy was the only one Kaworu had to handle, the job would be easier than he'd thought.
-boku wa kimi ni au tame ni umaretekita no kamo shirenai- ("Maybe I was born just to meet you.")
It was only party a lie - a little string of a lie to wrap around his fingers and draw him closer. A touch of their hands put one around his neck. It would be easy to pull now.
Everything Shinji had had been given to him by Kaworu, he could take it all back in a heartbeat, and it would be so much better than killing him. That's what he had over those stupid, mindless monsters that had come before him. Evolution makes one cunning, and death is all too easy and much too quick. No... What Shinji would get would be far more permanent. Perpetuating, faultless. It would eat away at his soul.
The thought made Kaworu even more impatient, though on the outside he retained perfectly his calm, reassuring facade which continued to tighten it's hold on Shinji's shattered psyche. The glue he used to mend it was weak, it would make the boy's whole heart brittle as it set. He smiled. Shinji saw and blushed, it had been a happy, kind smile. There was no doubt in his mind.
Thinking of the others before him, he couldn't help but wonder why it had taken so long to figure out one boy's weakness. One who hates so strongly will crumble easily before those that he loves. In the end, even careful Shinji had been easily deceived. Now was the time for the final stroke.
Kaworu couldn't kill Shinji, no. That would make a martyr for all of NERV. He'd give them what they wanted for now. Shinji could do much more damage than he could. He'd let the poor fool kill him, but it wouldn't end there. The love struck child would do the dirty work for him, in his name!
-kaworu-kun ga… kare no hou ga ii datta no ni…- ("Kaworu-kun… Although he was better than me…")
It was entirely his fault. Why did he always have to screw up? Kaworu had loved him, and he'd killed him too, just like Ayanami, and Toji, and all the others. Kaworu should have lived, HE should have died. There was no doubt in his mind. There was nothing left in the world anymore...
author's end note: I forgot to mention up there that I'm also not a multi-chapter person... so that's it. (Then again, the main character died so there's really not much left to do...; -kaworu funeral chapter- (j/k)). Leave a review or flame or whatever if you feel like it. My record is 6! (I'm going for 6 1/2)