Title: Special Torture

Summary: What if Bobby and Alex were already in a romantic relationship during the events of 'Slither'?

A/N: I'm fascinated that Bobby said what he said in that first interrogation in Slither. I can't decide if it's true and Bobby just used it to get information and Alex was obviously fine with it or if he totally made it up and Alex was ready for it. It was so silly either way. But I thought it would be even more silly if well it were a game of sorts.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters.

"My partner has famously bad taste in men." He hadn't even been able to get it out with a straight face.

Alex almost cracked a smile, but not quite. She mentally put a point on the scoreboard for Bobby... the bastard. He was sitting straight as a wooden chair and not daring to look at her. Alex nearly rolled her eyes, but played the role Bobby was looking for her to without missing a beat, "Married Liars, that's my ... special torture."

Tit for tat - she hadn't looked at him either. In fact, she thought she'd sold her line twice as well as he had. Let him stew on that.

The interview over, she followed Bobby out of the room, noting grimly that he was wearing that smug look on his face. The sort of smug look that was going to need to be wiped off by someone with a killer right hook.

While the look didn't hold up against the pressure of the case, the mischief in his eyes kept sparking back whenever he looked at her over his paperwork. She didn't give him the satisfaction of rising to his bait. No, revenge was best served cold; control and patience - techniques he'd taught her to lure a perpetrator into false confidence.

Alex opened the door to her apartment and stood back so that Bobby could follow her through before she closed and locked the door. Was he sauntering? Yes there was a definite swagger to his walk.

He went straight to the kitchen and she followed, shedding her coat, badge and gun as she went. She leaned against the cupboards to face him as he stared at the contents of her fridge. She raised an eyebrow, "Your partner has famously bad taste in men?"

He slid his gaze to her face; then straightened and crossed his arms over his chest, "'Married liars are your special torture?'"

Alex edged sideways until she was blocking the fridge and took a step toward him, "Famously bad taste. Are you implying you've actually discussed my taste in men?" She nudged the refrigerator door shut with her hip.

Bobby looked like he regretted that loss of ground but he returned his eyes to his partner lest she catch him unawares, "I don't know why you're upset - seems to me I insulted myself more than you. A-and you are the one who added the bit about 'torture'."

"Just speaking the truth, Bobby." She took another step closer so that she had to crane her neck to look him in the face, "You drive me absolutely out of my mind."

Bobby's eyes challenged her, "Gee, really? You must have awful taste then."

Alex threw her hands up suddenly in exasperation and was rewarded with a flinch from Bobby. She pointed a finger at him, "I didn't pick you, you great big dope. I got tethered to you and you grew on me... like... mold."

Bobby raised his eyebrows, and raised a hand to rub his chin, "Well, I am an acquired taste you know - it's been added to public record."

Alex shook her head, "You... You..."

Bobby smiled sweetly at her, "Yes, dear?"

"No History's Mysteries for you tonight," Alex turned on her heel and headed back to her living room.

Bobby dropped his arms, "Ah, come on, Eames... It was all part of the interrogation."

Alex nodded as she searched the episode guide on her tv, "Uh huh. Sure. Whatever. OOO," she cried out, feigning delight, "CSI:Miami is on - I wonder if they let the detectives do any detective work in this episode."

Bobby reached for the remote but Alex out maneuvered his lanky arm and stuffed the remote in between the cushions under her butt.

Bobby opened his mouth, then shut it, "Now that was just childish."

"Oh good, we didn't miss the first music video. Ooo Bobby, why don't you wear white slacks?"

Bobby crossed his arms again and looked down at her tenderly, "It got us a reaction, right? And it was funny. Admit it."

Alex didn't respond - just pointed to the screen, "Ooo look, the CSI team is going to do the interrogation."

Bobby shook his head, "This isn't going to work, you can't stand it either."

Alex glared up at him, "I endured child birth. I'm sure I can endure... Oh Lord - did he just - okay, fine. You're right."

She turned the channel to the familiar rumble of Scott Bakula seeking the truth about the fate of Atlantis.

She stood up and touched a finger to her lips, "Kiss. Now."

The corners of Bobby's mouth turned upward, but he obediently leaned forward and gave her a chaste kiss.

She narrowed her eyes, "That was pathetic. Try again."

He looked down at his beautiful, ridiculous, wonderfully sharp partner. A warm joy spread through him because this creature was his to tease, his to hold and his to cherish. But he didn't smile this time. He put his hands to her face and leaned in. Revenge was best served warm on the lips of this woman... and tonight he planned total devastation.