An Ungodly Task

by DJ Goth Boy

Marilyn Manson, well known the world over for courting controversy, makes another tour stop one year. While there, he is accosted by Christian protestors as usual. But what he doesn't see coming is that these ones are under the control of Skullmaster.

AN UNGODLY TASK
A MIGHTY MAX FIC BY DJ GOTH

Please note: I dont personally own any part of the Mighty Max name; the rights, the characters, or whatever. Dually, I dont own any part of the band Marilyn Manson. I am just merely a big fan of theirs trying to write a somewhat realistic, but at the same time funny, fic. In other words, money hungry lawsuit seekers, leave me alone. On a final note, this piece is a complete work of fiction; nothing this extreme and of this caliber (at least to my knowledge) has ever happened before. On the other hand, with some extremist religious types these days, we shouldnt put it past them.

God help us get Satan out! God help us get Satan out! chanted the sign waving and especially loud crowd, all donning big crucifixes and other religious paraphernalia. Just as they kept on screaming out, progressively getting louder, as they noticed a black and silver tour bus pull up to the Tacoma Dome, the nights venue. The doors open, and the hoards of protestors deluge the front of the bus.

Get the hell away from here, you crazies! a big, dark-skinned body guard hollered, somewhat threatening to get physical with some of the folks if they wouldnt comply. Now intimidated, all back away, but still hold up their signs and yell as they see the rest of the folks inside coming towards the front. Finally, they came out; four of them with their blonde hair in various cuts and styles, all black clothing, and red lipstick, and the fifth with raven black hair, black tee shirt, and coordinating lipstick and nail polish.

Marilyn Manson; your sinful ways are not welcome here in Tacoma; we suggest you all get out if you know whats good for you! screamed out one of the lead religious folk in his white priests robe, and equipped with a huge rosary and hard-covered bible.

Oh, really? You think I havent heard that one before! Brian, better known to the world as Marilyn Manson, began to refute. Havent you bastards heard anything about the First Amendment? Or, are you all just too busy with your nose rammed up your bibles and/or asses? The comments inflicted some infuriation, though really, that is what Marilyn generally lived for ever since he started his shock rock band. Dodging the rest of the protest groups, and trying to make it back to their dressing room in one piece, the band retreated through a locking door, and over first to a press room, where a stocky man from a local rock station was waiting.

107.7 The End; broadcasting from backstage in the Tacoma Dome, and I am here with Marilyn Manson, as he gears up for yet another spectacle of a show tonight.
That is correct. Its got a lot going on in it from burlesque to anything else grotesque that you could think of.
Ah. Now, Marilyn, obviously, this is one of the mostly hotly anticipated concerts to come this year for your ever growing fan base. On the other hand, you have a very large ministry here in Tacoma that sure as hell DONT want you here, and have done everything in their power to see that you generally dont want to ever play in Tacoma again.
Well, you know, I think that is generally anywhere I have played ever since I became a household name so many years back.
Thats true; on the other hand, there really is a bitter animosity here with OUR ministries especially. Take the release of your latest album, The Golden Age of Grotesque. As you know, in its first week, it sold enough copies to become the number one album in the country.
Thats animosity? Doesnt sound like it to me.
Well, thats not the end of it. When word broke that you hit number one, all hell here in Tacoma broke loose. A bunch of ministries boycotted record stores, held protest rallies and emergency church services, and even went as far as to hold public burnings and steam rolling parties of your records and other stuff. Now, today and tonight, they are protesting your coming to town to play a show.
Oh well. But, like I have said so many times before, America is a free country. I am free to do, say, and believe what I want just as much as they are. Certainly, they arent meeting me half way, and thats solely their problem!

Stupid bastard! Skullmaster blurted out, breaking his copy of The Golden Age of Grotesque, and throwing many pieces of memorabilia around. I just cant believe this; somebody who is supposedly the most evil person in America continuously putting out crap like this! Well, well just see about that! From his underworld kingdom, Skull Mountain, Skullmaster conjured up a plan to bring yet another arch nemesis down. Since Marilyn Manson had never had Skullmaster as an enemy before, there would have to be someone or something to take him down first. After racking his brain for a while, he finally had the perfect plot to get all of Marilyn Manson wrapped around his bone fingers and puppet strings.

Babble, babble, bitch, bitch, rebel, rebel, party, party, sex, sex, sex, dont forget the violence, blah, blah, blah, got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely, stick your stupid slogan in, everybody sing along, the band played on, right in the midst of that nights performance. The crowd absolutely loved it, but a flurry of folks outside got bigger and bigger. Playing the last few songs, Mob Scene, The Fight Song, and The Beautiful People, the dancers danced, the pyrotechnics was set off, Marilyn spent his last few bits of energy, and the audience went wild.

Finally done with that nights show, Marilyn and the rest of the guys ventured off the stage, towels wrapped around their necks, hoping to vegetate and have a couple of drinks in their dressing room before stepping on to the bus. About half way down the hall, Marilyn noticed five people, ranging from twenty to forty years in age, all with All Access credentials around their necks.

Marilyn, were your biggest fans, one of the leaders, a thirty year-old man donning all black, a shirt advertising the band, and his own raven black hair tied back in a flowing pony tail. Weve even been hanging out the whole time back stage setting up a special room so we can all hang out!

Okay, I guess thats cool, Marilyn hesitantly replied, walking closer to the little group. He wasnt exactly willing to go, as the room they were standing in front of wasnt his dressing room, but rather another small room used for audio/visual interviews. Nevertheless, the band followed the group into the separate room, unknown of exactly what they were in for. The first glance stepping in wasnt exactly a welcoming one; there were white, lit candles everywhere, a big wooden crucifix on the wall, and a thick copy of the Holy Bible sitting on what usually served as a craft service table.

Alright, now what is going on? Marilyn nervously demanded.
Oh, dont worry, Marilyn; we just wanna chill with you! a twenty year old female from the group gave up. The man that originally talked to Marilyn took off the black band shirt only to reveal a white one reading Jesus Christ is the answer. The door of the room then shut and locked.

Sweet, man, Its here! Max announced out loud to himself, walking back from the mail box, toting a small package. Opening it up, he discovered that it contained his highly anticipated video cassette copy of Marilyn Mansons music video collection. Very eager, he popped it in, and hit play. The first play was one of Maxs all time favorites, The Dope Show. As some of the risqué imagery began showing, Max began getting into it by playing his air guitar.

Towards the end of the video, Max noticed something peculiar, precisely the scene with many white and breasted look-alike mannequins. Instead of having no head like the rest, the head of Virgil appeared upon the one in the middle. And surely, if that wasnt bizarre enough, the lyrics were altered as well.

Mighty One, go to the por-tal, at the ball park; you are needed in a hurry, so get to it. With that, Max shut off his television, then proceeded out the door and en route to the baseball field where the local minor league team practiced and played its games. Just as always expected, Maxs now signature red cap began to glow, and he routinely stepped into yet another portal.

Unknowing of exactly where he was going, Max contemplated exactly what was happening as he moved in transition. Finally, it opened up, and he fell right into the big, beefy arms of Norman, his trusted guardian.

Good day, Mighty One; welcome to Tacoma. Virgil declared, looking like a hen with a freshly laid egg. So glad to see you doing well.
Yeah, Virg. Alls good here. I just cant get over seeing you on a breasted mannequin in a Marilyn Manson video!
Well, yes, I guess thats why I dont think I would make that good of a Mother Hen; I dont look that good with a set of breasts; even if my head was bestowed upon the body of a human. Nevertheless, there is a reason why I chose to tell you to come here through Marilyn Mansons The Dope Show video.
Why? Because you wanted me to pick up some chicken BREASTS at KFC, then come here to Tacoma?
Not exactly, Mighty One; its because I was laying down a clue of exactly what you would be dealing with when you got here.
Alrighty, Virg. Youve stumped me; what exactly is going on?
Skullmaster is at it again in trying to take down yet another one of his arch rivals, and generally anyone else he would have a vendetta with. This time around, it is Marilyn Manson, because Skullmaster is angry with his attempts of being quote unquote evil. The vendetta is so bitter that Skullmaster has taken it upon himself to get Marilyn Manson and the rest of his band in his own firm grasp.
Oh? How did he do that?
Well, Skullmaster knows that one of Marilyn Mansons biggest long time antagonists are Christian groups that love to protest him. So, he got his own group of Christian conservatives under his power, sent them down to the Tacoma Dome where Marilyn Manson played last night, and succeeded in capturing them. Now, Skullmaster is on his way up from the underworld to do what he so pleases with them. So, the bottom line is that its our duty now to save Marilyn Manson!
Well, that sounds like a task I can do. But, when you say have his way with Marilyn Manson, what exactly do you mean?
Well, Mighty One, as I have said before, over time, Marilyn Mansons biggest enemy has been bible thumping Christian groups. Skullmaster has taken that, and thought up a torture; in other words, his Christian slaves are out to brainwash Marilyn Manson, and that is exactly why we must save them!
Alright, that sounds great! Buthow on earth do you expect us to bust in back stage and just save Marilyn Manson just like that?
Ahbut that is part of being the Mighty One; and you will find the way to get him out, because for now, it is your destiny!

Now informed, though somewhat angry to be without any clue of how to go about the operation, the trio took a bit of time to take a walk around the premises of the Tacoma Dome. Max noticed that right by the back stage entrance, idly waited Marilyn Mansons tour bus, along with a little white minivan whose back was plastered with religious bumper stickers.

Hey, maybe we could start here, Virg, Max piped up.

Well, yes, Virgil assured. The first step is, indeed, to immobilize the enemy, so that it will be easier to apprehend them in the end. With exactly what to do in mind, but with not enough force to do it, Max signaled for Normans assistance. Out came the sword, and Norman slashed all of the vans tires, bashed out the windows, and even went as far as to rip out the steering wheel. Piece of cake! Norman boasted, putting his sword back into its case.
Alrighty, Virg, so weve immobilized the enemy, but that still doesnt tell me how were going to get behind those doors and save the band.
Partience, Mighty One! Besides, we just cant barge in there like this; we never could get them out as we are now. We have to go inside incognito so that we look like one of them. That way, theyd never suspect were out to save Marilyn Manson but rather that were their to brainwash them as well.
Sounds good, but how are we going to find stuff so that well be incognito?
Well, unfortunately, there isnt any place here in Tacoma that has exactly what we need. However, a short portal ride will take us to Provo, Utah, where there is a bible bookstore that sells not only literature and Christian music, but also religious clothing and reverend robes.
Okay. Then lets do it; but the first time someone stops us with a copy of the book of Mormon, Ill have no problem telling Norman to let em have it!

While Virgil produced his scroll from his red robe, Max looked up at Norman, only to see him smiling, though still in battle mode. I eat bible thumpers for breakfast! the guardian confirmed, still walking tall with the much shorter duo of the Cap Bearer and one especially intelligent Lumerian chicken. Finally, after walking seemingly forever through Tacomas city streets, a portal opened, and the three of them were on their way to Provo.

The portal dropped the trio off in the middle of a somewhat busy street, and right in front of a mammoth bible book store. All of them went in, and were warmly greeted by a smiling middle-aged man at the front counter. Max, Norman, and Virgil didnt need help finding anything in the shop, as they knew exactly what they needed. They went right to work picking up the necessary supplies, a couple of Praise the Lord tee shirts, a new copy of the Holy Bible, a tall-sized white reverends robe for Norman.

As they were searching around in the stores book section, Max was struck with an idea of how they could finally get Marilyn Manson out of the cold-dead wrath of Skullmaster. As Max picked one more book up from the shelf they were standing in front of, the three proceeded to the checkout where the man was waiting for them.

Find everything alright, folks? the man jovially asked Max as he set all of the trios purchases on the counter to be rung up.

Uh, yeah, we did. Max began, praying for the best from what he had in mind. But, actually, I was wondering; you dont happen to do missionary work for the church, do you?
Been doing it for twenty five years with the congregation just down the road? Why do you ask?
Well, were coming from a church group in Tacoma, Washington, and we have a little task that only a missionary would be credible enough to help us with.
Umwhat kind of task are you talking about?
Only one that you could help with. We really are working on a tight schedule; well tell you all about it on the way.
With that, the shop keep got one of the other folks from another room to fill in for him while he was gone. He grabbed a jacket and his bible, and headed out amongst Norman, Max, and Virgil. The man, standing about six feet tall and with a muscular frame, was somewhat lacking confidence in going through the portal that just had opened up, in the regular fashion, to take the entire crew back to the Tacoma Dome.

The trio quickly changed into their designated swagger; Max and Virgil in the Praise the Lords shirt, and Norman in his white Reverends robe. Max took a moment to take a chuckle at Norman, who obviously felt somewhat awkward at first. Exhibiting his tremendous strength for the man, Norman busted down the back stage door, signaling for everyone else to follow him down the hall.

Max knew that Skullmaster planned to make an appearance right at high noon to do what he pleased with the band. Then again, contrary to other times, Max would be ready for Ol Bonehead this time around. Making it down to the hall, Norman busted down the door to the audio/visual room, only to find some of Skullmasters slaves preaching over and over to the band, and beginning to get into their brain drain.

Looks like my callings come, Norman sarcastically announced to Max and Virgil. Now, I must do my Lords work! With that, began grabbing each one of the slaves one by one. While he did this, Max thought it would just be a clean sweep; he ran over to where all five members of Marilyn Manson sat, bound, gagged, and all tied up.

And what is this; some kind of Christian convention? Skullmaster jeered, as he stopped Max from trying to free the band.
Yeah. Just here to do with these sinners they are, Marilyn Manson what God told us to.
You better not take them from me! Marilyn Manson is mine, and they will no longer be around to practice their supposed evil ways. I AM EVIL, not them, and they are going to pay dearly for trying to steal the duties from me!

Newly without the handkerchief in his mouth, Marilyn just had to speak up, We are not evil, and who on this green earth would want to try to compete with YOU? We are merely a group of musicians. Havent you ever heard of not taking music literally?

Confused with the commotion, the man from Provo stepped in to see exactly what he could do. Ohmygoodness, is that

Um, yes, sir, that is Marilyn Manson sitting there, but we dont need you here to preach to him about his ways today, Max cut off and got right to saying. You see, sir, we brought you here to Tacoma, because this big guy here, Skullmaster hasnt been able to be helped by our church. He needs the help of Jesus, because hes gay!

Oh, you poor thing, Skullmaster, lets get right down to business! happily replied the Provo man. You will definitely be one with the Lord when Im done with you! Almost on cue, he pulled out his bible, and started right from the beginning. While the man was busy with Skullmaster, Max, Norman, and Virgil discreetly snuck over to where Marilyn Manson were being held captive. Norman began by taking the gaggers out of the mouths of John 5, Madonna W. Gacy, Tim Skold, then Ginger Fish. Then came time to untie them; four out of the five were untied. That is, until Skullmaster looked over at his hostages.

Wait a minutethose arent church folkthats THE CAP BEARER! Slaves, get them! Seconds later, the same guards who took Marilyn Manson captive appeared from nowhere in an attempt of stopping the trio. Norman sliced the ropes off of Marilyn, now making the entire band free.

Run! Max told Virgil as well as the band. Surely, they all listened, just leaving Norman to take care of the slaves and the Provo man to continue on with his work. Finally, everyone was out, and Max went back in to get their last two folks. Norm, were done here, dudetime to go. Oh yeah, Skullmaster, you just might find THIS book helpful!

Running very briskly out the door, Max threw at Skullmaster a copy of the book, The Healing of the Homosexual. Finally, all nine of the members of the crew were out of the Tacoma Dome and regrouped. Now freed, it was time for Marilyn Manson to get back on the road. They profusely thanked Max and the rest of the group for their efforts, and went back into the bus to grab some stuff. For their help, Marilyn presented all three of them with Golden Age of Grotesque tee shirts and autographed copies of the corresponding album. The last stop before Max was able to go home was through the portal back to Provo, Utah, in order to return the man that was ever so helpful to his rightful home.

Thank you so much, sir. Max and Virgil both spoke up, walking back into the store, which was now about to close down for the day.

Not a problem, guys! shaking everybodys hands, and just taking a quick scan around his shop. And by the way, Max, if you ever find your way through these necks of the woods again, the names Joseph!

Max got himself back home at a relatively descent hour. He made his way over to the local bookstore before he got home to pick himself up some reading relevant to the day.

By midnight, Maxs mom arrived home herself, and was quick to go up to her sons room to see how his day was. To her surprise, he was sound asleep, hat on the front bed post, and laid open on his chest was a half-read copy of Marilyn Mansons The Long Hard Road Out of Hell.

The End.