Author's Notes: This is an idea that's been tumbling around in my head for some time now and I finally decided, what the heck, I'll write it down. This is a look at the grimmer side that may exist in Aerrow's personality and why it's there. Depressing, I know, but I can't control the way my mind works. If I did, Aerrow would leave it alone. He's not even my favorite character in Storm Hawks and he's making it impossible for me to write about anything else!

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks. They are property of Nerd Corps.

Tampered

By WhispertheWolf

You know, people say a lot of things about me. They say that I'm such a brave, daring, and optimistic person. They say that I believe so much in my own abilities. They say I'm quick to trust and willing to forgive. And I guess for the most part, they might be right.

But I wasn't always. I think the person I am now is my inner personality, who I was meant to be. But that is not how I used to be.

People are like clay that has dried to leather-hard. They have the same foundation and are put in a certain shape. They are born that shape, and they were born that material, and that is what they will always resemble. Somehow. Maybe more on the inside than the outside.

But sometimes the clay gets tampered with. Even though the tampering is limited due to its dryness and the elements that make it cannot change, it can be tampered with. Sometimes more clay is added on. Sometimes some is broken off. Sometimes it's possible that if you squeeze the nearly-dry clay with all your might, you can change its shape completely, although the foundation is still there.

I was tampered with.

Being alone and having no one who cares about you is hard. Not being able to support yourself is even harder. Being a young child at the same time . . . well, it shakes you to the core. If you survive, that is.

It happens. That's all I can say. I was not a fortune child. At only four years old I was sent to an orphanage. It was well-known who I was and who my parents were, but my parents' wills had been destroyed. I had no living relatives. And even though I was the son of a Sky Knight, a Storm Hawk, no less, I had the same treatment as everyone else in the orphanage.

It wasn't a very nice orphanage, either. Most of us bore scars from beatings, and we were never given enough food. I wasn't going to stand for that. The orphanage had not broken my spirit; it only made my spirit stronger. I was probably about seven years old when I made my getaway.

It was one world of hardship to another. Out in the world, you have to make your own way, earn your own living, unless someone else was taking care of you. A seven-year-old is not old enough to know how to do that. I was always cold and hungry, and I was scorned by any who I asked for help. They called me a filthy street kid and a thief. It was true what they said about thievery at first; I was too hungry to care much about what other people thought of it. However, as I grew older, my conscience bothered me more and more about it until I decided to work for my meals. I went hungry more often after I made that decision, but at least I was doing the right thing.

Not long upon this new path of freedom and hardship, I met my lifelong pal Radarr. For the longest time, he was the only one who ever cared about my wellbeing. It helps, you know, to have someone who cares whether you live or die . . . even they are just another mouth to feed. Radarr earned his keep in time, though. At first, he helped me steal. Then he learned to help me with my work. We looked after each other. I looked after him more often then he looked after me, but it was worth it in the long run, I believe.

However, as I said, he is the only one who cared about me for the longest time. I'd make new friends every now and then, but I was always separated from them in some way or another . . . usually because their other friends or family didn't care for me or they decided I wasn't worth the trouble. Because of this, I began to become suspicious of people. I was always a trusting soul, and I would admit it when I needed help, but as time wore on, I realized that being needy would only bring you down in this world. And slowly, gradually, I began to contemplate whether it was worth it to trust others. Anyone could turn on you.

But in the darkest times, such when the drying clay of your mold is about to be watered down to make something completely different, someone throws the water out and starts chipping away at the added pieces, putting back the broken ones, and pushing the clay back into its original form.

I hadn't thought far along these lines before I was met with a stroke of luck; I ran into a girl no older than I am who was running away from home to have adventure. Quite by accident, actually. She was simply just scaling a steep cliff on the side of a hill I happened to be walking on when she slipped, and I caught her. I had wondered at the time whether saving her life was a very stupid thing to do. How could it possibly be worth it to save another when I know no one would ever care to save me? But I couldn't bare the thought of letting someone die, and I caught her. Simple as that.

Piper was the girl's name. She was kind enough to me. We sat and talked for so long that my true personality shone through and I lowered some of my barriers. I would scold myself later. But now looking back, I thank the heavens it happened. I was a very guarded person, and I'm so glad I'm not that way anymore. I told her far too much, it seemed just after the moment, and I left ashamed of letting her know I was weak and alone.

But an amazing thing occurred thanks to that one act of kindness. She somehow got this strange idea in her head that I was a good person. What dared to make her think that, I'm not sure, but she was persistent in seeing me.

I took pity on her, I admit. Every time there was something I could help her with, I took pleasure in it and felt guilty if I dare turn her down. But what was strange was the fact that whenever I was in trouble or pain, she did what she could for me. No one but Radarr had ever done that before.

We traveled together after that, just the three of us. When we met Finn and Junko, it became the five of us. And then we met Stork. They all cared for me, and I learned to take care of them. I began to check on their safety not because I feared the feeling of guilt when I didn't do it, but because I wished to do it. I had this warm, fuzzy feeling so intense and so riveting, it's hard to describe. And it was for them, all of them. Radarr, Piper, Finn, Junko, Stork. It took me a long time to figure out what that feeling was, and I feel that I still don't know it quite as well as most others do. But it's powerful and it's pure. Love, they call it. Love.

This strange phenomenon of loving others and having others love me made me realize that maybe being a "good person" and performing acts of kindness was not succumbing to human weaknesses but rather finding strength. Perhaps good things really do happen to those who help others. And perhaps trusting others was not a bad thing.

Gradually I left my barriers behind and learned to be happy, carefree, and strong-willed, just as I was back in the orphanage. Only now I was older and wiser, and I had people who loved me and I them. With all of these things in my favor, I was ready to face the world and make it a better place for me and anyone else who had ever had any kind of hardship. I wanted to do good for everyone, give them the same salvation. And I wanted my new family with me.

So I took up where my father left off and became the Sky Knight of the new Storm Hawks. Some say I was overly ambitious to want to be a Sky Knight so soon, but fighting as a Sky Knight in wartime has actually given me the most stability and happiness I've had in my fourteen years. For once, I have a home and a family to share it with. Danger may still look me in the eye everywhere I turn, but now I would not face the darkness alone and unprepared.

But fingerprints still remain from those who tampered with the clay of my personality. Most people aren't aware of my hardship, and I'm glad. Even now, that fear that I felt in darker times is somewhere within me. Although my idea of human weakness has changed, I still don't want people to know I have weaknesses. Even now, I try to cover up my flaws and fragility. I don't want people to know it was ever hard for me or that even I get scared and feel despaired or lost and wish to lean on someone. I feel I must hold steady on my own two feet as I was forced to do for so long.

I don't even want my squadron to know I'm weak. Correction: I especially don't want my squadron to know that. They depend on me, and I cannot appear weakened in their eyes or dare shake their confidence. I must be the one who is always strong and positive, the one who can show no fear even when we face the bitter end.

Yet there are very few things to fear anymore. And I have many strengths to count on. I'm a good person and brave and daring; that I must believe. I didn't always see that in me. Radarr was the first to see it, Piper the first to point it out to me. All my friends say so. For the longest time, I didn't believe them, but now . . . Well, all of my friends are such good people and so wonderful. And sometimes, they don't always see that in themselves, although I don't worry about Finn much. But if maybe if they can't see how great they are, then perhaps I am also not realizing the good qualities of myself.

It's amazing how having someone care for you can give the strength to be your true self and help you to realize just who you are.

Author's Notes: Okay, like I said, depressing, but it had an uplifting ending. What do you think? Anyone want to review? I'll take simple reviews that are only a word or two long, like, "Love it!" or, "good" or "hate it". Yeah, I'll even take hate reviews. I just want to know what people think. And please, someone let me know if Aerrow's character is too OC.